Hello /r9k/
This is my first post here, I heard this is a place where sad people go/happy people go to make sad people feel worse.
I have an issue, and would like advice. I am a sad person, kind of. But I am not as sad as the normal poster here.
My issue is that I am the type of person who will always try to befriend everyone in a community, because I think anyone can be a good person. I want to make sure people around me are happy too, so I do a lot (I make a lot of money from doing nothing and spend money to buy people things they need, or games and share with friends)
This means I also get really close to some people, but I am not allowed (my own schtick, you can ask about that later) to form a romantice relationship with people. So I start to distance myself from those people, and eventually we don't talk. I've made and lost a lot of friends because of this. It's not because we dislike each other, but because we stop talking completely.
Does this happen to anyone else here? I'm very curious.
try facebook
>>24467959
Facebook is filled with not-real friendships.
I don't consider someone who I talk to every now and then about something unimportant a friend. It has to be someone real, someone who will share their life, their worries and trust you. I enjoy being someone trustworthy.
Facebook promotes the exact opposite of that.
Most of the people here are friendless virgins. You will generally be looked down upon here because your "befriend everyone" mentality never applied to them because you wouldn't dare being publicly caught talking with them.
>>24468042
Maybe it would help me fit in if I include that most of my friends are online as well?
I do have friends in real life, but most of them seem very one-dimensional, aggressive or just not very good people in general. I do not have any bonds formed with people in the flesh-zone as I do with people online.
Perhaps the face of technology just allows people to be more open in general, then?
>>24468077
Ohhh it does definately.
My experience with "befriending everyone" in early college ended quite badly. People thought i was creepy and weird. Hence why I'm here.
Also why can't you form romantic relationships?
>>24467910
>>24468027
>>24468077
Ok, I'll bite.
>1. Stop avatarfagging
>2. Why are you not allowed to form romantic relationships with these people?
>3. Is it you who starts to love them so that you distance yourself? They start to love you? Are you just that fucking awesome that everyone you get close to starts to form a romantic bond so that you need to distance yourself or what?
>>24468178
I am in early college currently, but I have not made many efforts to befriend the people here. They are strange, usually bad-mannered and generic. I am likely going to move colleges anyhow, since this is a bad one.
>Also why can't you form romantic relationships?
Fear? Too specific of thoughts? It's a lot of things.
I don't want to be hurt in my life again in terms of trusting other people- too much has happened in my family and so forth. I am not a very good person even if I try to be and I know that if I try to dedicate myself to a relationship, it will come to a point where I am no longer able to sustain that person's happiness. My tiny flaws will become annoyances, my bad habits will become grueling and everything 'good' about the relationship will decay away until we both can only see reasons to seperate. I think it's natural for all relationships to do that (Especially when we look at the rising divorce rates), and I simply do not want to fall in love with someone only to be hurt again. There's more, but this is the gist.
>>24468197
>2
As above
>3
It's not like it always happens, though it does happen a lot for simple reasons I think. The people I try to make happy are usually very unhappy, and when they see someone who cares, it is easy for them to become infatuated. So, to ensure they realize it's infatuation I try to tell them, and over time they forget these feelings and me as well.
I sometimes begin to fall infatuated, but I do the same, to ensure it's not some fleeting feeling and instead that it's truly falling in love (It never is). Only a few times has this happened IRL, and it is much more difficult to seperate there- but I move a lot, so it is done.
>1
Do you not like Nue? But okay.
>>24468290
Interesting. I can identify with these feels. Not sure what you are looking for though. What do you want to accomplish? The point of advice is for something to change. You seem to know what you are doing.
And I do like Nue a lot. But avatarfagging is still frowned upon. Just dump Nue if you like though. I wouldn't be opposed.
>>24467910
yeah I'm in the same position
>>24467910
>Meet someone
>They are super friendly
>Think I have a new close friend
>They are like that with absolutely everyone
You're giving off false signals. "A friend to all is a friend to no-one" is what Plato said I think.
>>24468290
>They are strange, usually bad-mannered and generic.
Yup. Don't worry, most of the "party folk" drop out or wisen up later. Tbh freshman year they just taught me shit i already knew from high school. Probably just to squeeze an extra years worth of money out of me.
Also >>24468475 makes a good point.
>>24468427
Perhaps that's another issue. I am not sure what I wish to accomplish, I just know I must change something. There is more wrong with me (Weight issues that I've unsuccessfully tried to fight... round 2 tomorrow though, school issues due to motivation, and well, motivation in general)
I only know that I do feel sad about this, and wish to change. But I am not sure what to change. I am seeing a therapist, but the appointments do not mount to much progress at all (Though, I will keep going).
I truly do feel rather directionless in life- and I am not sure if I wish to change that, but I fear what may happen to me if I do not.
>>24468475
Yes, a friend of mine (Or, well, it's strange to use that word now?) said this to me. They watched me separate from them and make other friends and felt like I'd left them behind. I truly do not stop thinking about my old friends.. I just find it hard to begin a new conversation, or spark the relationship again.
But what am I supposed to do? I feel a genuine worry and care for these people, and for what limited time it happens for we are indeed very close and friendly- must I start to ignore people who do not want me to be close with others? That feels wrong, I don't think my relationship with any other person should impact another one.
>>24467910
Kinda happens a bit, i'd say. I try to make friends with people here, but they ditch me after two days or so, and it just gets really boring leaving skype messages unanswered. I dont think I do much to piss em off, and we normally get along really well. Talking about games, or life, and all of a sudden, people just leave and dont talk to me outside of one or two initial conversations.
You're a good person, OP, regardless of all the people on this thread are gonna say to you, you should keep it up.
Of course there are gonna be the people that you wanna get to know better, but i've learned through my time trying to embrace the 2D love universe, that it's inevitable that some people will take curiousity and friendship the wrong way.
It's sad, but the best way to deal with it, I imagine, would just be a talk.
>>24467910
Maybe it is similar to me. I don't enjoy having only "face" level friendships with people. I usually start off a relationship being really honest and trusting the person, I don't feel like I can be friends with someone if I can't trust them. I like a friend who can talk to me about anything, and vice versa. I believe a lot of people can be better than what they are, and I'm always trying to improve myself and find someone similar to me, in the way I think and view others. I always try to help "improve" my friends and I think I come off a little condescending sometimes because I always want the best out of people. My problem is that all of my "friends" don't seem to have nearly as much interest in me as I have in them. Also, most of my friends have little to no interest in self improvement or are just kind of boring (it's not their fault). Maybe this is somewhat similar to you. Not sure.
>>24468612
I think I will keep doing it, but over time I know that I will eventually look back to all the people I've forgotten, or have forgotten me and ponder about their lives, think about where they might be, who they are nowand if they are still alive.
They are painful thoughts, but that's how the world works, isn't it?
>>24468621
I share most of this mutually, but in the point where your 'friends' do not share an interest in you, I tend to prefer it that way. I am not a person that can be helped by most people (Or perhaps the only person that can help me is myself, by eventually thinking about the right thing, realizing something..?). I tend to become a counselor of sorts in communities and very much enjoy it, I love to help people (And sometimes feel guilty if I see someone suffer and do nothing)- but I would prefer if people did not worry themselves with me.
It's hypocritical, yeah. I suppose that's just a vice. I prefer to try and help myself through realizing things myself- and have conversations just like this thread with them- because it is what I enjoy doing.
But it makes me feel selfish in a way. Sometimes I can't tell if the reason I help people is because I genuinely care (I certainly feel like I do) or because of a selfish desire to feel happy about helping someone.
I don't think I'm that good of a person, for sure.
>>24467910
I am not sure it's similar to your story, but I tend to make friends with new people very, very quickly. I can feel like I've known someone my entire life in just a few weeks. But just like that, things seem to die down somewhere down the line and we lose contact. I've had many good friendships, but only one of them has lasted.
>>24468711
How can you expect other people to accept help from you if you can't accept help from them? I'm not saying everyone has good advice when it comes to helping people, but I feel that it is right to at least take what other people say into consideration (I'm not sure if you do that or not). I also love to help people. I try to help people as much as I can, even though most people don't listen. I think I've come to the realization that helping people over the internet is almost completely pointless.
For me I have always been a person who likes to help others/give since I was a child. You've probably heard of something along the lines of "true altruism doesn't exist". I don't think that helping other people for your own benefit is a bad thing. I don't know why you want to help people, but as for me it is almost habitual since I was a child. I don't know what triggered it. I just want to live in a world with people who can be happy with themselves. They don't even have to acknowledge that I've helped them either. Anyways, I don't think feeling guilty over helping people for yourself is strange, but, maybe it is a little pointless to worry so much about something that's irrelevant (in my opinion)?
>>24468907
It is the same for me, anon.
>>24468977
I always do listen and allow them to state what they think but I believe my core issues rely somewhere down in my own fundamental thought processes. I don't think anyone can say anything to help me- It's a matter of lacking any motivation to improve, and lacking the desire to gain this motivation. I do, still however enter small bouts of depressive thoughts where I worry about my future, and whether I should care or not about what I will eventually turn into. I just don't think anyone can help me, there is nothing a person can say to give me a purpose or goal, or the motivation to accomplish that. It is just a flaw in myself- nothing another should worry. So, I try to end conversations that switch to my own emotional health- since they will end poorly. People will get worried, and then angry when we speak and they cannot help. I do not wish for people to think of me as a sad person, I only want to help them, and if they worry about me, it will impede that.
Which supports the reason I do think about these things, however. I try to figure out everything about myself. Why I think a certain way, why I want to do things, why I stop myself from getting close to people. It's like playing a big puzzle, and the puzzle is your own brain. I truly do not know why I do certain things all the time. It is a subconscious choice, and I have to figure out why.
So, perhaps it seems meaningless, but I think it is important to see these things in yourself.
As for why I help people.. I am not sure. I enjoy knowing I can help people in this world become better, and to stop the vicious cycles of depression in the world. To stop bad mistakes, and to just make the world a little happier, even if what I do does not do much. I do not want others to end up like myself- perhaps that's the core of it.
>>24468290
>if I try to dedicate myself to a relationship, it will come to a point where I am no longer able to sustain that person's happiness
That's not your job. The other person figures out how to be happy and you just cooperate with them on it, within reason. Yet you seem to be taking on responsibility for making people happy in a neurotic fashion. You should seriously consider seeing a therapist.
>>24469118
this desu senpai. you're not supposed to dedicate your life to the other partner's happiness. especially if you're a man
>>24469160
>especially if you're a man
oh, gtfo you pathetic piece of shit
>>24469118
I am seeing one, yes! Though, he is very old and has not made many statements (Or done much, other than suggest sleep aids... perhaps I should consider a new one).
I am rather sensitive to how people are and feel around me though yes.. But my fear for a relationship stems more from that. I've heard it said elsewhere "Falling in love in romance is half the battle, the other half is staying in love". And I just don't feel like I could hold on to someone's affection for very long. The last thing I would ever wish to see in my life is losing someone I have invested my trust and affection to, especially when it just corrodes over time.
But... my solution of just simply "Then do not trust/love anyone" does not seem good either. I suppose I have more to think about.
>>24469160
I would be on the other side of the relationship- but perhaps this rings a new perspective on things. Thank you!
>>24469209
it's true bruh, women don't like men that center their lives around them. Women like a man who is motivated and has aspirations outside of their relationship
>>24467910
Not even gonna read what you wrote, for now at least.
I'm just here to say your taste in 2hus is 10/10. Nue a cute.
>>24469271
It utmost agreement! My favorite is Kokoro, but Nue is second to best!
Here have a gem!
>>24469266
I think it is different to every person. It just all depends how they grew up, how they responded to that, and who they eventually came to be.
>>24469075
I see. That is true. That is when I felt like I couldn't help people over the internet, although it was pretty obvious it took me a while to grasp it. I'd say it's almost impossible to motivate someone over the internet to do something. Maybe not impossible but very hard. And then to be consistently motivated is even harder.
That being said, I don't think it is right to try to "help" other people if you can't help yourself. Even if you have the answer to every problem, most people won't want to listen to you if you can't show for it. I'll be honest, if a person like you were to try to give me advice I would probably be insulted. You have to care for yourself before you can care about other people. That much is true. It doesn't mean you have to be the perfect person, but moreover you have to be able to work through your own problems to be able to help others with their's (which you seem to be trying to do). Too much of anything can be bad, and it seems like what you have isn't selfishness, but more of lack of selfishness. Obviously I'm just guessing, I don't know you well enough to make any certain judgments about you. But, if you have no desire to make yourself better, then how can you expect other people to want the same thing? You don't feel like that alone motivates you?
>>24469306
> Kokoro
Not a big fan but thanks!
>>24469310
It's very true. As of recently I've drowned myself with thoughts of how much of a hypocrite I am, since I always try to make others happy while not caring at all for my own. And I do suppose I do want to get better (sometimes), but that feeling washes away a lot. It just isn't strong enough for me to maintain it daily.
I try to hide that from others then, because I know nobody will listen to someone as broken as they are. So I try my best to seem like a normal person, a healthy person without much worries in the world- all for the sake of them not questioning how I am, for them to not worry about me, and like you said, for them to not feel insulted.
It feels a little manipulative someones too, since it is always accompanied with lies (As another reason, why I do not view myself as a good person).
My therapist one day, did 'say' this (In retrospect, he just repeated what I told him, and I made this connection).
As much as I fear being in a relationship, I think that it might be my best chance at sparking my own motivation. I do my best when I feel like I'm helping others- but I do worst when I fear I might get hurt. Would it be healthy for me to enter a relationship? Even if I still have a mindset pointed out in >>24469118 ?
>>24467910
you got steam?
>>24469444
I do, though I believe sharing it would defeat a few points of this thread.
>>24468531
When you say separated from your old friends, what do you mean exactly? Do you just kind of stop talking to each other? If they reached out to you, would you make time for them? Do they get pushed aside because you don't have enough time for everyone or is it a mutual thing?
>>24469375
Well, you got steam or some way of actually talking to you? I usually don't post on 4chan and really don't feel like this is the best place for an actual conversation.
>>24469602
I can get behind not wanting to post your steam here, I don't want to either. Can you send a link to this throwaway email [email protected] or are you gonna limit talking about yourself to this thread?
>>24469375
I understand. I think a lot of people have fear of the painfulness of losing a friend, or someone that they love sometimes. Personally it hurts me a lot when I lose a friend, even if I've only known someone for a relatively little time. I clearly have my own problems too. I don't think this is something I could decide for you if you should do it or not, but there are consequences to everything. I feel like, and I'm just guessing, that you might be the type of person who would be very clingy to a person who you were in a relationship with, and if the relationship were to end, then you would be an emotional wreck, and worse off. But losing people is something you have to overcome (something I have been working on too).
>>24469271
I won't read the OP either and no-one who likes Nue can be a faggot.
>>24469619
It's a mixture of some of these.
Conversations will die out over time, we will talk less and less and eventually not at all for many weeks at a time. I was originally comfortable with this, since I would keep them in mind, and send an occasional message as a sort of "Hey, we're still alive".
But last year, one of them started to talk about how he hated that we were separating. That we wouldn't spend hours into the night talking about a spectacular nothingness, and that it hurt them. He started to talk about how it happens to him with every person he got close to, and how he thought that everyone he would fall in love with would come to hate him.
And I don't hate him, I certainly still like him- but even now we haven't spoken in months. One of my first(only) relationships, this happened as well- he would stop talking, I would. It was a little different because we'd always tell each other "I really want to talk with you but I don't know what to say!" and so forth. Eventually we broke up, and when he wanted to get back together, I politely rejected. Because I had then started to think of the thoughts I do now (In regards to above, with relationship things.) I did however, introduce him to a new girl and he is very happy now.
>>24469621
>>24469689
I feel like the purpose of the thread would be defeated- I am sure we could speak and become friends... but I think over time, the same would happen (Although, not to imply you'd fall in love of course!) in that I would make friends, and then over time we would cease to speak.
This thread has gone much better than expected however, and this seems like a good place to talk for now.
>>24469696
Perhaps I would be, but I am not sure. My only relationship I maintained myself close (but not too close) and eventually we separated.
>>24469751
Oh my! All three of my favorites have made an appearance now. What a special occasion.
>>24469770
Dude, I've lost friends and acquaintances before. I'm used to it. Don't patronize me by thinking it'd hurt me. I just don't feel comfortable in talking on a public forum, even if it's anonymously.
I've got experience with things you mentioned and in a way used to be like you.
I wasn't expecting friendship, I just would find talking over an IM (preferably steam or the like) much more comfortable than in this thread.
I'm gonna be monitoring that throwaway for another 10-20 minutes. If you wanna talk send something there, otherwise I'm just leaving this thread and wishing you good luck.
>>24469770
You remind me of someone I used to know. She wasn't scared of relationships, just commitment.
>>24469829
>Don't patronize me by thinking it'd hurt me.
Oh, my bad! I mostly meant it through my own perspective, not your own. I'm sure nobody would be hurt or such by it- I just meant it more for myself.
As for the comfort portion,. I think I would prefer to keep any discussion to the thread, apologies.
>>24469838
In my view, without implying it's the 'correct' view, I would prefer not to be in a romantic relationship if it wasn't serious. And unfortunately, it seems that the qualifiers for it to be 'serious' also scare me. Huh.
>>24469770
That sounds more like you are putting in some effort but stuff just kind of fizzles out. It's great that you send the occasional "we're alive".
I feel like often when I had thought I was close to people, they gradually make less and less time for me, and I'm the one reaching out to them but not getting a response. I would love to have more people who check in on me more often, or have time for actual conversation if we share an interest. Some people are just busy, but some I know don't really have an excuse and I can only conclude I'm not worth making time to them. It's kinda shitty. (I'm also just bad at picking friends.)
>>24469903
I felt a little bad at first, since I thought I was more comfortable with slowly losing those people as 'friends' (For how close we were, it's usually very close friends) than they were. Over time though, I've begun to share that regret. I find myself thinking about my current friends and the people I've known before and it gets a little depressing thinking about all the people that I simply, well, don't think about anymore. Especially since we used to be inseparably close.
>(I'm also just bad at picking friends.)
Well, in all fairness- I don't pick my friends at all! I try to be friends with absolutely everyone, since I think everyone can be a good person. This has led to some interesting scenarios where I'm friends with someone who is globally disliked in a community and such.. It also brings out some colors in people who refuse to be your friend, since you are friends with another person.
But, I do have some internal values- if that happens, It's not fair for me to end my relationship with the 'disliked' person. I think it is mostly on the other.
Though, this hardly ever happens to the people I become very close friends with.
Unlike OP, I am quite interested in making a few friends. If anyone in the thread would like to be friends than I would like that. We can talk about anything, really. I'm easy-going for the most part and I'm honest, and would appreciate mutual honesty. Here's my e-mail if you are interested.
[email protected]
>>24469770
>>24467910
I genuinely know those feels. You have great empathy. The need to want to help people and the need to not burden others with your problems. We keep our issues within ourselves to protect the possible negative outcome/perception of us in their mind. Conversations become stale because they tend to be one-sided. You like to ask questions of in terms of "How do you feel about ---?" instead of being direct. You're emotionally closed off and need someone to vent to; preferably, someone that shows genuine interest in how you feel.
Do you know about the MBTI/Jungian functions? It is basically a personality test. I found out I was an ISFJ and sought an ISFJ to open up to. You seem you may fit the same type. I've been emotionally closed off for 24 years and found it really refreshing to open up to someone that thinks similarly. You should try it.
http://similarminds.com/classic_jung.html
http://similarminds.com/embj.html
>>24469882
>>24469965
No offense, but this all seems like you're just making an excuse for being indecisive in choosing friends. I personally only have 5 friends that I talk to online because they're all good human beings, they all agree that we shouldn't associate with terrible human beings.
>>24470020
I do, I have an affinity for psychology related topics. Although the MBTI is definitely questionable in accuracy for the test itself, the concepts are very nice and interesting to look into. I definitely have read into these thoroughly for a long time in order to help me shape the understanding of myself. I am personally INFJ.
>>24470036
Perhaps, though I do not like excluding anyone just because of my own assumptions of who they are. I always allow people a chance, sometimes multiple- because I don't think it's very fair to refuse to like a person due to your first impression of them or how others see them.
That is to say though, I will tend to avoid people who are directly harmful to me, or my own friends. But if they never show to be, then why would I avoid them? I still believe every person can be good. I prefer to look at the reasons as to why a person has become who they are, rather than "They are a bad person".
>>24469965
I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. Unless the friends you fall out of touch with you simply don't have time for anymore. But you said earlier you both kind of run out of things to say and stop talking.
I'm not sure I have a single friendship where the other person cares as much about it as I do. I have 2 close people I talk to with any great frequency (nearly daily). Others respond every once in a while and are friendly when they do, but often messages go unacknowledged, or they don't follow through on things they said. And then there's a slew of acquaintances I'd like to know better but don't acknowledge me online, even if they act friendly in person. Basically, I'm not wanted and people avoid me, but nobody says it to my face. Maybe my friends are pity friends.
>>24470090
>INFJ
Was this only MBTI or did was it Jungian Cognitive functions? There is a bit of difference. You really seem more Si and Fe than Ni and Ti.
>>24470090
Every single time a person I know to be horrible is given another chance, they prove themselves to still be horrible.
>>24470180
Why are they pity friends though?
>>24470090
>I always allow people a chance, sometimes multiple- because I don't think it's very fair to refuse to like a person due to your first impression of them or how others see them.
>That is to say though, I will tend to avoid people who are directly harmful to me, or my own friends. But if they never show to be, then why would I avoid them?
>>24470180 here
More people should be like you. I have been pre-judged and it sucks, but so many people do it. The person hardly knew me, and when I confronted them on it later (actually, I didn't know about it; I confronted them about being cold to me in another context), their "information" about me wasn't even correct to begin with, and they ended up changing their opinion. Now they are one of the 2 I talk to at all.
>>24470247
>Why are they pity friends though?
Are you asking why I think they are, or what I think their motivation for being that (and not just cutting me out entirely) would be?
>>24470314
both options. Are you the bad person or are they?
>>24470192
Ah, my apologies. That was only MBTI- I should do Jung again. It's rather late for me currently (And oddly, no intentions of sleeping anyhow for my exam in some time).
I will do that now and report my results soon.
>>24470180
Ah, I see. I don't think such things as pity friends can be a real concept for long though. Such people would eventually tire and truly separate without much substance in the relationship.
I think you should search for people who do seem friendly, and would be your friend- rather than putting too much effort on your own side (If that is what happens, it seems like it). A friendship is formed by two people, not one!
Though, that only feels like a half-made response. Is there more you wish to add/talk about in that regard?
>>24470247
I have made many friends as well who originally seemed like people I would prefer to avoid- in the end though, it is your choice. It is understandable if you would prefer not to give a chance in the case they are a bad person. I share a similar though when it comes to romance (Except, instead of bad person, a long-term match for me? Something like that)
>>24470289
I think it's a big flaw in society today, but there is no easy way to stop it at all. Especially when it concerns the great generic crowds out in the world (Am I permitted to say 'Normies' in a joking manner here? Heh.), I just don't think it's something you can stop. But, the least you can do is make sure you don't do it to someone else.
>>24470333
>Why I question the friendships
Because they don't seem to make time for me or put any effort into maintaining the friendship. The 2 people I talk to online is because they are available to talk; nobody else is. And a separate person is the only person who initiates any contact with me; everyone else I initiate (we talk infrequently via email but don't chat).
>Why would they bother
They don't think I'm a bad person but probably find me boring or too much to deal with.
>Are you the bad person or are they?
See above... I'm probably depressed (seeing someone about it; not helping so far), so I don't do anything and I mope about and am negative. Nobody likes to deal with that. But I also think I'm nice and can have interesting conversation, or be fun to be around if I have moral support. So I think people are ambivalent.
Where I can fault other people though is in not being direct, or giving mixed signals or outright saying they'll do something and then not. I can be very demanding or difficult, but I think my criticisms are objective. One person has actually thanked me for it.
>>24470345
MBTI is more about your personality output; if you're creative/extroverted/introverted/etc. Jungian concepts are more about how you take in information from the world and making decisions.
>>24470460
I'll be friends with you, anon.
>>24470345
How old are you, OP?
>>24470486
I received some interesting results from the Jungian test. I'll have to look into this more though- I've only truly gone into MBTI and the Big Five.
I will take the Enneagram soon, but here are my results from the Jungian test.
>>24470460
>They don't think I'm a bad person but probably find me boring or too much to deal with.
This is also my issue. Aside this face for how I try to ensure people are happy or try to figures others out.. I am not too interesting of a person. I have a poor sense of humour and do not watch much of anything or play very many games anymore - infact I increasingly find myself wasting time on not-much-at-all.
A supporting issue of my fear of entering a relationship.
It is not good advice, but I personally know what parts people would not enjoy to see and simply do not show it. It isn't very healthy, but it does help with making friends. In the end though, as hypocritical as it is, you should focus on yourself rather than others. Aside the friends issues, what are the causes of your depression?
>>24470529
I certainly hope my age will not cause this discussion to spiral in a different direction due to my youth, and methods of thinking 'changing' as you age. But if it need be answered, I am turning 19 in February.
>>24470345
>I think you should search for people who do seem friendly, and would be your friend- rather than putting too much effort on your own side (If that is what happens, it seems like it). A friendship is formed by two people, not one!
Well, 2 things... a lot of this is mostly about one person, who I have a pretty dysfunctional friendship with. She's sort of long distance but close enough to visit each other once in a while. But she sends incredibly mixed signals online and puts increasingly less effort into maintaining long distance friendships in general. But I get similar things, from a lesser extent, from other people, where they may or may not respond to me but don't care to set up any kind of long distance protocol. It gets frustrating shouting into the void.
Second, as I mentioned before, I have trouble making new friends and there are many more people who are friendly to me if I happen to see them in person, but seem uninterested or too busy if I try to contact them. So the friends are the ones I can manage to talk to one on one at all.
>>24470580
>Aside the friends issues, what are the causes of your depression?
Beats me. Genetic, probably. I don't even know that I'm depressed. Seems quite possible, though. I have no energy or ambition and am highly irritable.
I'm in this cycle of social isolation now though. I might have social anxiety of some kind too. I can go to work, go to the store, generally function, but I can't really go out for fun or undertake anything risky on my own. People give the "find a hobby and use it to meet people" advice but I can't go meet up with a bunch of randos and nobody has time to take me to something.
>>24470529
>I'll be friends with you, anon.
Thanks for the offer but I'm not quite ready to jump into random online stuff, and have not given up on repairing my IRL relationships yet.
>>24470700
Have you tried making friends online first, then? In my experience it's much easier to connect with people like that on a meaningful level, as well as in general find friends this way.
>>24470717
You could always be friends with me after you fix your IRL relationships.
>>24470731
I'm not sure who's who in this thread, other than you're not OP. Did you post anything before the offer?
Still probably won't contactfag unless OP wants to; sorry.
Let's be friends! I'm in a relationship so so we can so friend stuff, ne!
I like video games too, but I'm not that smart ne. A lot of the stuff on this board is sad and for smart people but but I like cheering people up too!
If if everynyan was like mew we could all play Tomodachi Life!
>>24470761
I've been increasingly tempted to since a lot of the posters here definitely seem like people I'd love to talk to, even if it doesn't particularly mean having conversations like this either.
Though, I am honestly not too interesting of a person either.
>>24470809
Post steam or email?
>>24470761
I asked why your friends don't like you, before asking to be friends, anon.
>>24470891
The least interesting people are usually the ones I enjoy talking to, personally.
>>24470891
You're OP right? That image is too stylized and I don't know the avatars... this would make a lot more sense on /soc/ but I'm glad you posted on /r9k/.
I'm not interesting in that I don't have hobbies or whatever but a few people seem to enjoy picking my brain on intellectual shit.
>>24470969
I am yes, do you think this type of thread would fit more in /soc/?
I haven't had terribly good experiences when posting there.
>>24471011
/soc is more for attention whoring and getting validation for how you look. This thread is fine here. I would advise to not contactfag people here.
>>24471038
It is understandable, yes. I don't regret posting here at all however- although I did not expect it this thread ended up very nice and productive in my views.
I am not sure if I will post my contact info, if I did it would simply be my steam- but it seems the thread is wilting anyhow.
>>24471011
No I just meant the temporary IDs would be useful.
I think I'm going to go to bed. I'd post a throwaway but I don't want to be contacted by random lurkers. Can I make a throwaway key pair or something?
>>24471152
>Can I make a throwaway key pair or something?
To clarify I mean someone posts a public key, and someone else posts a contact for only that person. You don't know who they are or that they won't leak it, but you know only one person sees it initially.
I don't know good software or a website for throwaway crypto though, and don't into PGP.
>>24469266
Does it count if you're a trap? Because I would like to be given a lot of devotion and affection.
>>24471152
I should sip some coffee and finish some work for school anyhow. The thread was fun.
I'll create a little throwaway email- just send me a message there if you'd like to maintain contact- though I cannot promise anything too interesting!
I do not mind who contacts me at all either. I am not too paranoid of placing my steam directly here either but it I am also not too well-adjusted to what happens on this board, so for safety's sake.
[email protected]
>>24471237
Cool, I will probably send you something tomorrow or in a couple days. Am too tired right now. Night.
>>24468178
fuck you and everyone here who remind me of things I did myself ;(
did that too just wanted to chill and mess around drink some beers with people and ended up probably being hella creepy since then I will never talk to anyone again I think:/
