/autism/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Are you diagnosed?
How do you cope living with autism?
Do you have flashbacks of what you've done?
Got any tips for others?
Yes
I don't. People hate being with me
Yes, it's annoying af since I've developed OCD over the last few years, so when I have flashbacks, I sperg out a few selected words
Start working out, it helps a little
not autistic, but dating an aspie. Question: generally, do you guys not feel empathy, or just have trouble articulating it?
>>24445270
We probably feel more empathy than most. Problem is when we're supposed to feel it.
We have trouble express our feelings because we're morons with words and don't know enough to express ourself.
Yes, I am diagnosed.
I had extensive therapy and training as a child to teach me how to be as functional as possible and to teach me how to communicate effectively with people. At this point I genuinely believe that I, a diagnosed autist, am more functional than many "4chan autists."
I get flashbacks to stupid shit, but as far as I can tell, so does everyone.
My big tips for people is to communicate your needs literally and effectively with your words. Explain your emotions. Do not assume others know things and do not get upset when they do not know things.
>>24445321
gotcha. Thanks.
If it makes you autists feel better, NTs can love you and it helps if you are upfront with them. I mean at some point after getting to be on a friendly basis with someone you like, it helps them a lot to know that you're autistic. Otherwise, they might just think you are unfriendly/cold.
>>24445270
I feel significant empathy. Generally speaking, autists all do. We feel our emotions very strongly, my therapist says we are "live wires" of raw emotion.
The trouble comes in understanding others' feelings in the first place. If someone is sad, I can't always tell, so I can't empathize. If that person says, "I am sad" then I will feel sad for them. If that person says, "I am sad because my dog died" then I will fall on the floor and hug them and probably cry for hours with them because I understand that feeling and can relate to it. If the person says, "I am sad because I broke my arm" I would probably feel terrible for them and maybe cry, but not too much because I don't know the exact feeling. I have never broken a bone so I have to imagine.
>>24445387
Most of us know that regular folks are basically good people. The trick is just to find a way to communicate efficiently.
I usually get to know someone before I tell them I'm an autist unless it comes up in conversation or unless I know they are autistic (many of us can spot each other). Most people are very understanding.
One time that normal people seem to get frustrated is that, during and after a misunderstanding, I ask people to be very literal with me and to clarify their words. I like to understand my mistakes very clearly so that I do not repeat them, and dissecting a conversation where I have made an error is a phenomenal learning opportunity for me--and it is the only catharsis I can get in many frustrating situations. Many people don't understand how vital that is for me.
The other time people get frustrated at me is that, if someone I know is performing a behavior that isn't common for them, I ask how they are feeling. If they are upset, I ask if it is my fault in case I hurt them, because I do not want to hurt people. Some people interpret me doing this as me being paranoid or they think I'm stupid for not being able to understand why they are upset.
>express feelings with pictures of brad pitt that ks to therapist
>>24445335
Lucky. I first got diagnosed as an adult (2 months ago) First starting my training in two weeks
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only with flashbacks, they're really a problem for me.
>>24445387
I've been flirthing with the thought of telling people in my class, but don't think I'm ready for that.
>>24445392
Interesting. Even NTs have greater ease relating to things they have personally experienced, so that makes sense to me. It is good to know you feel emotions strongly, but I can see how not being able to pick up on unspoken cues can make things difficult.
>>24445335
My partner can be very callous or angry if I don't automatically get something he doesn't say. If he tells me "pick me up at 1" for instance, he expects me to know the specific spot. I often have to remind him I'm not psychic.
Diagnosed as of 5-6 yo
Dont know.
Sometimes. But I can't change what they remember and I don't respect them anyway.
Don't worry. The sky's the limit. Anything in between is a setback. Don't even try to justify any of it to your kids.. But don't have them now that you know this too. Please, take me away.
>>24445270
i have an incredibly hard time verbalizing my emotional states
>>24445190
>Are you diagnosed?
Yes, self-diagnosed.
>How do you cope living with autism?
Play vidya all day long
>Do you have flashbacks of what you've done?
Often. When I do so I scream and break things.
>Got any tips for others?
Always have a pillow with you for you to hug tight and bite when you're starting to lose control.
>>24445499
therapist diagnose with shit taste
>>24445548
guess what you are gonna do.
shut the fuck up
>mfw this thread
Its good to know I'm not alone
>>24445502
> if I don't automatically get something he doesn't say.
Yes, it's very very difficult to many of us to conceptualize that other people use different reasoning systems than we do.
I would say to him something like this if I were in your shoes:
"It is not reasonable for you to assume that things that are obvious to you are also obvious to me because I do not experience or understand the world the same way you do. Communicate your needs to me verbally and do not assume I am aware of your needs unless we talk about it."
However, if he is callous there is no excuse for that. Tell him immediately when he does something, "You are being unkind" or something like that that communicates to him his error. DO NOT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH BEING MEAN BECAUSE HE IS AN AUTIST. After you tell him that what he is doing is hurtful to you, he has no excuse to continue that behavior.
>>24445526
I use the formulae: "I feel [emotion/adjective] because [experience]" or I say "I am confused. Please [method they can help me]"
>>24445498
I have all the patience in the world for that kind of thing but it can be tedious to people who are not very educated on what autism is about. Ironically, I'm usually the one in the relationship who wants to get literal and dissect things, because communication probs give us fits sometimes.
I wonder, how uncommon are the behaviors that you're flagging as possible signs of someone being upset? There are some typical signs NTs will show at some point if they are upset. Instead of noticing any difference in behavior, maybe you should just focus on red flags like frowning, avoiding eye contact, being silent for a while, etc.
>>24445501
Maybe making a passing joke about it would be a good way, if you decide to.
>>24445686
I use the regular physical cues to indicate that they are upset, but I use out of place behavior as an excuse to ask how they feel and get a verbal answer from them.
As I get to know people, my ability to understand them is like a bunch of data points on a graph. The more data points I can collect by observing their behavior and learning about their thought processes, the more likely I am to be able to predict their future behavior.
My only ever partner, whom I dated for three years, was often unnerved because I could predict his behavior better than he could.
>>24445657
Thanks for the tip; I may give it a shot. I've been a lot firmer with him recently, because I don't think I did us a favor by letting everything slide in the beginning. I feel like when he is mean, it is unintentional though. A lot of it has to do with his upbringing and not his autism. I'm trying to be realistic of how much I ask him to change, but I'll make sure I say something concise to remind him when he's going off track.
>>24445723
NTs are definitely less rational than aspies. It can be unnerving when they are using feelings as the major thing guiding them, because they don't know where it will lead them a lot of the times. But an aspie using empiricism/probability can often make a better guess.
>>24445190
>Diagnosed aspie at age 6
>was socially retarded at first, was bullied constantly in school. look back at cringe for being a sperglord
>dont tell people im aspie because they will just assume that im some brony minecraft lets player or something
>now i have a system of self awareness, that often does as much damage as being a sperg because i just dont say anything and i constantly hate myself
I was diagnosed with assburgers before I started school and found out about it when I started highschool.
I'm not sure if finding out about it was a good thing or not.
On the one hand, it's good knowing exactly why you are different or having trouble with certain things. You can use that knowledge to work around it.
On the other hand, knowing about it puts you at risk of falling into the dangerous trap of defeatism. You know you are different, and so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
