How do you not care? I'm tired of being worried about these trivial things that distract me from what I really want.
practice.
Just like everything else
>>24444051
they say that people shrivel up because they have an imagination. So, don't imagine anything, you'll become brave as hell.
>>24444051
You present an obvious paradox:
>not care
>I want
In order to not care, you have to stop wanting things.
>>24444095
I've recently tried to make less assumptions and tried to see things for what they are. I'm trying to see things pass the illusions I've made during most of my life. But sometimes the truth hurts so much that I'd rather be deluded. Ignorance is bliss?
>>24444100
What I meant to say is that I want to select specific things in life to not care about. I can't get rid of desire. Nobody can.
A tough one, though simple put it boils down to >>24444059.
What kind of worrying is it? Is it a worrying through over-analyzing the potential risks and over-thinking the possible outcome, or is it something else.
By no means will I claim any suggestions or feedback are absolutes as they will merely be things to take into consideration, but regardless, giving a more elaborate explanation of what kind of caring you're doing now and want to try to diminish may be useful to have more specific feedback. Trying to put it into clear and distinctive wants and want-nots will also allow yourself a better overview of what exactly it is you want to focus on.
What kind of caring do you want to get rid of or reduce significantly?
What does your worrying process look like?
What are some of the "trivial things" you worrying about?
What are some things you really want?
>>24444387
>What kind of caring do you want to get rid of or reduce significantly?
>Caring about what my family thinks of me.
>Caring about how dirty my hands and mouth are. (Touching anything that's greasy such as food will usually lead me to wash my myself six times which wastes water and soap.)
There are more but that's a sum of it.
>What does your worrying process look like?
I have a hard time living in the present so memory is shit. If I think I did something wrong, then I'll try to replay the event in my mind but it's so damn hard to come to a conclusion of: "OKAY I AM DONE WITH THIS LET'S MOVE ON TO THE NEXT TASK." I'll then repeat the scene over and over again until I get tired of thinking about it and that'll usually be the conclusion.
You're going to die someday, nothing you did or will do will matter.
>>24444387
>What are some of the "trivial things" you worrying about?
What I said for >What kind of caring do you want to get rid of or reduce significantly?
What are some things you really want?
I wan't to live in the present moment. I want to make my time more vivid. (daily business; browsing 4chan, eating, reading etc...) These trivial things get in the way of daily life.
>>24444730
This is why life is awesome
>>24444696
Overall sounds quite familiar to me, minus the ardent washing oneself so often when touching anything greasy/"dirty" etc.
I still care about what my family thinks of me to the point where I'm partially someone else whenever around them, but ever since no longer living with them and no longer feeling like an active burden to them, it has greatly improved.
Sadly I don't know what else might help on that front. Depending on how your family is, maybe worth considering mentioning it some time to them (or the one member you can confide in best)?
>Caring about how dirty my hands and mouth are.
Maybe worth taking into consideration, the lesser of two evils: Washing yourself excessively is not very good for your body; Washing your hands too often with soap on a daily base affects the "good" bacteria and such, but also the natural fats that keep your skin from drying out and protecting it, and whatnot. Same applies to around your mouth. Try washing less often every time you feel the urge to. Go for 5 instead of 6 times, for example, and lower it further over time. Reduce the amount of soap used, things like that.
>If I think I did something wrong, then I'll try to replay the event in my mind
Much easier said than done, but: Don't. Or at least, don't do so too much; try not to dwell on it.
Ever since I started to look at things in a costs vs results kind of way, combined with actively trying to distract myself whenever I noticed myself sliding back to replaying past events to the point of dwelling, I managed to reduce it significantly.
The most efficient thing you can do with past experiences, however crappy you handled it, is not to waste time nor energy continuously replaying it, but instead try to find some sort of "lesson" out of it, see if you can somehow at the very least learn something from it to take with you on a next encounter. Even something small is better than nothing. You can't change the past.
>>24445358
cont.
I still replay past events from time to time as that's simply something I do, but now it's when I'm on /r9k/ and it's thread-related, or when I can afford doing so at work when things are slower for instance. Important difference is that I no longer think "I should've done that differently, why didn't I do it X or Y?" but instead it's more to humour me, for internal dialogue, or for future references or so.
Since a year or 2 I managed to focus instead on the positive things that happened during events in the past 2 years, even when things could've gone better. I notice that whenever recalling those things it's positive, while events before that were all with a negative tone due to approach of recollecting them the first few times.
>>24444785
>I wan't to live in the present moment. I want to make my time more vivid. (daily business; browsing 4chan, eating, reading etc...)
I think that once you manage to reduce the amount of over-thinking and over-analyzing past and present/hypothetical events or scenarios, this will come naturally to some degree.
Maybe it'll help if you find hobbies/interests you can indulge in. Something you can do to distract yourself and such.
Although I suck at playing my bass guitar and am completely aware that what I play/improvise is piss easy, I can get carried away in the moment playing something groovy or rhythmically focused (as rhythm is my thing) and suddenly it's 30-60 minutes later.
Consider looking into learning/studying something you find interesting. Be it STEM-field related topics, culture, or something else. You could even go for online studying if you can't afford college etc.
>>24445369
cont.
I find that studying something you'll encounter in your daily life can cause you to recognize said things. With a Chemistry degree, I can't help but looking at things in such perspective at times, thinking about how ingredients or matter in substances are made, but even being amused by how all matter including ourselves are made of a set of only a relative few subatomic particles as far as we know. That's pretty fucking awesome and interesting if you ask me.
Even working on hobbies/interests will allow you to start recognizing things more vividly though, in my experience. I used to barely hear any drums or bass in any song, since I started playing those instruments many songs suddenly were seemingly being given an extra dimension. It's not even that I only find progressive or "technically" difficult music interesting, if anything it greatly expanded what kinds of music I like. Simple use of subtlety is something I now finally hear/recognize and something I enjoy quite a lot. Think ghost notes with drums or bass, things like that.
But I digress.
Point is, it might be worth looking into things you find interesting that you might stumble across in your (near) daily life. Having positive "triggers" that could yank you back to the present whenever you do end up dwelling on the past, may go a long way.
Another thing worth considering is that with interests you've become decent enough (in your own opinion) with to do something with, to plan for, and/or to allow hypothesizing over, combined with the ability to recognize when you start dwelling on the past again, you can try to instead force yourself to think about that interest and plans/ideas surrounding it instead.
Again, by no means am I to claim this all will work for everyone, and expect it to be a pretty slow progress especially at first, but please do give it a try.
Food for thought and all that.
>>24445358
>minus the ardent washing oneself so often when touching anything greasy/"dirty" etc.
To elaborate on this part, I've developed this mentality quite recently. (1-3 years) The constant checking I have to do to make sure I've actually done it. Intrusive thoughts have gotten worse this year for me. I think I may be developing some sort of mental disorder. OCD maybe? I haven't been to a doctor for years so perhaps something developed over the years. I could be over-thinking all of this but I don't know how to worry about anything else.
>>24445571
It does sound like something worth getting checked just in case. Other than that, try your best to fight it as we speak already while it's still not at its worst yet. I imagine it's easier said than done, but look into some DIY approaches online or something, it might be of some use while it's still a relatively recent occurrence.
>>24445449
>I find that studying something you'll encounter in your daily life can cause you to recognize said things. With a Chemistry degree, I can't help but looking at things in such perspective at times, thinking about how ingredients or matter in substances are made, but even being amused by how all matter including ourselves are made of a set of only a relative few subatomic particles as far as we know. That's pretty fucking awesome and interesting if you ask me.
>Even working on hobbies/interests will allow you to start recognizing things more vividly though, in my experience. I used to barely hear any drums or bass in any song, since I started playing those instruments many songs suddenly were seemingly being given an extra dimension. It's not even that I only find progressive or "technically" difficult music interesting, if anything it greatly expanded what kinds of music I like. Simple use of subtlety is something I now finally hear/recognize and something I enjoy quite a lot. Think ghost notes with drums or bass, things like that.
>But I digress.
>Point is, it might be worth looking into things you find interesting that you might stumble across in your (near) daily life. Having positive "triggers" that could yank you back to the present whenever you do end up dwelling on the past, may go a long way.
>Another thing worth considering is that with interests you've become decent enough (in your own opinion) with to do something with, to plan for, and/or to allow hypothesizing over, combined with the ability to recognize when you start dwelling on the past again, you can try to instead force yourself to think about that interest and plans/ideas surrounding it instead.
I absolutely agree with you. When you know more about the world, you start to think about things in a whole new light. Your horizons expand to places you've never thought you'd see.
>>24445827
cont.
I've had many thoughts of the origins of the world and why we think of the things we think about since I was younger lad. This has led me to an interest in neurology, cosmology, history etc. So I guess I can start by getting deeper into these interests. It could make make me forget about my trivial worries. Also I didn't expect a non-shitposter to post in this thread and I didn't thought about how my thread was going play out so forgive me for not giving enough feedback.
>>24445827
>>24445839
>Your horizons expand to places you've never thought you'd see.
Exactly, and that on itself is an awesome thing I find.
>This has led me to an interest in neurology, cosmology, history etc. So I guess I can start by getting deeper into these interests.
Sounds like a good idea. I think especially neurology might funny enough be something you could benefit from to help you "manipulate" (in the broader sense of term) your own issues into non-issues, even.
Who knows, maybe in a few years you'll look back and laugh at it all.I sincerely hope so, with the assumption that at that point you're past these issues and all that.
Starting on the road of self improvement (which this is) can be difficult and even scary at times, but all things considered and in the long run it's the path that gives most back for the time and energy invested in it.
Even if the improvement ends up not going as fast as you want it to, or stagnates from time to time, it's still an improvement nonetheless. Relatively speaking (compared to no improvement through not trying), even small improvements are great ones.
Try to never forget that.
>I didn't thought about how my thread was going play out so forgive me for not giving enough feedback.
No sweat, it's often a hit-or-miss kind of deal. I've had the luck getting some great advice on /r9k/ from time to time, both back when the first robot lived and even during its death, but also had threads die without replies or only have shitpost responses.
I'm glad the feedback is being considered, I hope it'll prove useful.
Best of luck, Anon, you deserve it.Even though I don't know you, the fact you're genuinely willing to try and improve yourself is worth positiveness.
>>24445999
I greatly appreciate your advise. We need more like you in this board.trips don't lieAnyway, wish me luck.
Trust me, truly not caring is a gift
