>tired of being a NEET
>apply for jobs
>please give at least three references
>tfw
>>24436490
>that feel
>I know it all too well
>>24436490
Yeah, that's the part that always trips me up...
>tired of being NEET
>apply for shittiest jobs I can find that don't even care about references
>build up a reference list
>start applying for better jobs
>"Please give at least five reference"
See you guys at the suicide booth.
>>24436490
protip: avoid applying online since a lot of times you won't even be able to submit an application unless you fill in things that you can't fill in, and also because it's better in the eyes of managers to see self-motivated people who show up in person (looking half-decent) with their CV in hand and a spring in their step.
>List past employers
>>24438013
>apply online
>plz give us your detailed work history and all of your personal information, this form will take about 10 minutes to complete since its roughly 10 pages long
>oh and upload your resume too
why the fuck can't I just upload my resume
>>24436490
>He doesn't use Craigslist for easy money.
You bring this on yourself t b h.
>>24436490
>tired of being a NEET
That's not what I hear.
>>24438013
>tired of being ignored from applying online
>go apply in person
>get told to go away and apply online
>have references
>can never be sure they're going to say good things about me
>>24438279
holy fucking christ this
>go to website to apply
>says online applications are closed and to apply in office
>drive 45 mins to apply in office
>clerk tells me to apply online
>tell her that it says online applications are closed
>"oh, well try again tonight, it should be open"
>takes my resume
>doesn't even read it and puts in the recycling in front of me
>online application is still closed
HOLY FUCKING JUST
>>24438013
Applying in person thing is a meme.
Every manager I've worked with HATES when people do this. They're not going to drop what they're doing and deal with you.
>>24438340
That's definitely a "fuck you, we're not hiring people" if I've ever heard one.
>>24438340
You're an idiot. They were doing an internal promotion or were getting someone they already knew but needed to have a public ad for legal reasons.
No one was going to randomly get the job.
>>24438279
yup this
>>24438386
>company has public job listing less than 48 hours old
>apparently retarded for applying for a public listing
okay
>>24438279
>work in retail
>keep getting idiots coming in asking if they can speak to the manager about their job application
REEEEE ITS FCKING BURGER KING NOT NASA YOU DONT NEED TO COME IN AND MEET THE FAGGOT REEEEEEEE
just give some pop culture references
>>24438013
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV_6RYVbNaw
>>24438456
If they don't then they're just another piece of paper to the manager. This is the only thing they can do to stand out.
>>24438449
You're an idiot for driving 40 minutes to their office.
If you really wanted it why not ring up/get an email address as a temporary drop off for your resume/cv?
>>24438523
i'm pretty sure managers at these places just go by an online application filing date order. i can't imagine you can be too picky when looking at no experience high school and college kids.
source: my resume was empty as fuck
>Apply for every shitty low paying job out there
>Get ONE response
>Interview scheduled
>They cancel the day before
>"We actually don't have any positions available sorry"
Wtf
If the job you're applying to doesn't require anything outside of a HS degree, I'm confident you can absolutely fabricate every bit of information necessary on your resume/CV.
I mean, fuck, you guys talking about references ain't getting shit now. If you completely make shit up, you've got more of a shot, right? I can promise you that anything in mainstream retail or food service ain't gonna give two shits as long as you can put forth a bare modicum of effort, not get injured/arrested at work, and show up in the first place.
I started applying for shitty jobs earlier this year but gave up after a couple of weeks after literally getting zero responses
>>24438554
to be entirely honest I wouldn't have bothered if there wasn't a taco bell across the street. It was the only taco bell even close to me and I was really craving some.
>>24436490
>just ignore that section
>The places most desperate for people hire me anyway
>The places most desperate for people are that way for a reason
>Have gone through close to a dozen dead end near min wage part time jobs
>Still stuck working at these places even though I have years of experience working at these places and a BA.
>tfw 28, white, male, and making approximately $10k/year in California.
>>24437998
IKTF. No way out of the shit job hole mane. I almost didn't get my "slightly better than a shit job but still a pretty shit job job" because my last employer couldn't be hassled to confirm my work history. I had to call him up like 3 times and ask him to call my present employer.
>>24436490
>apply for job
>manager tells me to come in
>mandatory penis inspection or get blacklisted from entire shopping mall
that's where they always get me.
>>24436490
>that one thirsty applicant who comes in and asks "how do i get hired"
I purposely tell them wrong information. Last thing I need is more competition.
>>24436490
Make shit up, they are to lazy to call. The former CEO of Yahoo bullshitted his college degree.
>>24438038
R A D I O S H A C K
>>24438900
or Compusa
>>24436490
I generally fake references if it's a lowly job such as a supermarket, fast food, or store. 3 applications turned in, 2 calls asking when can I start since beginning of 2015. Feels really good.
Using out of state experience was good too. I'm manager material even though I've never even been one before.
>>24436490
>>please give at least three references
The worst is when you've already spent 45 minutes filling out the application, and then you discover that they want references too and won't let you submit your application without them.
Makes me want to go fucking postal. Nigger, I'm applying to a job stocking shelves at Petsmart at night. I don't have references and I shouldn't need them for this shit job. At least put the reference bullshit at the top of the form so I know not to waste my time.
>>24438985
No one checks references man. Fake it, you have nothing to lose.
>>24438985
I just put down my parents numbers with a fake name. They never once called.
>>24436490
Those are optional
>>24439164
HR here, we only call potential employees references if we think they are decent
>>24438013
>>24438040
>see decent job: button-presser required, 20$ an hour, must speak English, high school diploma preferred
>holy fucking shit, click the shit out of that link
>HELLO AND WELCOME TO FINDAJOB.CN.EXE
>IF YOU WISH TO BECOME A PART OF OUR JOB LISTING WEBSITE, PLEASE FILL OUT THIS FORM WHICH WILL THEN ALLOW YOU TO FILL OUT A FORM AND THEN PLEASE FORWARD THE FORM TO OUR MAILING LIST AND SUBSCRIBE TO OUR MAILING WHICH YOU WILL RECEIVE 6 TO 8 TIMES A DAY AND ALLOWS YOU TO SUBMIT FORM-SUBMITING FORMS TO OUR RUSSIAN FORM-HOSTING SERVER AND TH-
>mfw
>>24439266
>WARNING, the following fields are blank: REFERENCES. Unable to process your request
>put "references available upon request"
>spend the entire interview hoping they don't request
>>24438038
>List past employers
>worked shitty places that don't even exist anymore
>managers reading my CV think I'm a bullshitter trying to compensate for no work experience
>buy two extra phones
>put down your own phones
>answer each one with a different foreign accent
>if they notice try to pass it off as you using your work skills to solve a problem, making them impressed enough to hire you anyway
Is that so hard?
>>24439397
whatthefuck WHAT THE FUCK
put a trigger warning on that shit
>>24439397
What jobs you applying for? I've never had this happened to me. It's always optional or skip this step
>>24439545
I don't recall exactly, it was something like Costco or Home Depot.
Motherfucker how many references do I need to prove that I can push carts around, I have two arms and two legs and a cardiovascular system.
>>24439603
I've done HD before, don't remember references being required though
boys how much money do i need to make per year to go from being a beta to a chad? i already make 70k, how much more do i need?
>>24439603
There are basically unlimited people applying for shitty cart pushing jobs, so they're always going to have over the top standards
>>24439397
>Employment history field is empty
>>24439655
You don't change
>>24439665
>There are basically unlimited people applying for shitty cart pushing jobs, so they're always going to have over the top standards
They should literally have 0 standards.
Pushing carts is down-syndrome tier. If they say "no" to you, then it means you look unreliable. Comb your hair, take a shower, and ask 2 times (insead of 1) and you'll get the job.
>>24438013
>apply in person
>all you end up doing is handing your Resume to the receptionist because the manager is either busy, not there or just doesn't give a fuck
>>24439665
>references
>I do mad bench presses brah
>and squats? all day with that shit
>HIRED
>>24436490
you have to work a shit job first sorry OP. most of these shit jobs can be gotten by handing your resume out in person to a manager. if you're anxious pr much any mall has a listing of open positions for their stores for instance, but a JOB LISTING is the worst way to get a job.
it goes in this order-
1. knowing someone in the company that knows of an open position
2. "cold calling" / showing up in person
3. job post
by the time the job post is made they probably already have people in mind for the job b/c of people that adhered to 1 & 2.
also, you don't need a reference sheet for #2.
source: employment classes & how i got my current (shit) job
>>24439751
true, but you reach a point where you have enough money that any slut will sleep with you just for that gold digger dollars
>>24439754
Why should they?
Companies will always take the best they can get, so if you have no way to prove you're not going to steal the carts and some other guy has references saying he probably won't steal shit then the other guy will get hired.
>>24439761
>"Can I speak to the manager"
Wow, how fucking hard was that!
Try for seasonal positions, guys. It's a short-term commitment, so it's a win-win for everyone.
You get to work for a bit, and the company can let you go after your time is up.
>>24439786
Normally I'd agree, but jobs with high attrition are often over-hired.
They'll often hire 3x their load, expecting 90% to quit.
>>24439761
I used to work at a shitty fast food place and the only people who got hired who weren't like the owner's friend's neighbour's nephew were people who walked into the store at a reasonable time and asked to see the manager and were upfront with their availabilities.
Every other person that came in were just like "HI I WANT A JOB" and handed us their CV as we were making a sandiwch, without telling us when they were avaialble to work or writing it down and their CV would end up in a pile that was pinned to a billboard and would get thrown out every couple of weeks.
>>24438600
you can apply to places that ask for a highschool diploma, but you need to be over 18. since you can't legally be asked your age by your employer, they ask that you have a HS diploma as a way around it.
basically to get you to be flexible on hours. they don't want a little baby that only wants evenings and will only show up every few days. if you are over 18 and haven't graduated, apply anyway, but don't lie if they ask if you graduated.
>>24439834
yea, I would agree.
"Availability" is a huge thing. If you say 24/7, you will be a huge asset.
As a NEET, your availabiltiy is literally more valuable than a pHD for most retail jobs.
>>24439781
No, if you don't talk to them, they won't do shit
This is what Beta Mutual-Assistance Societies are for.
You get your fellow society members to act as former employers and references to lift one another up, infiltrate the corporate and government hierarchy and prepare for the suprise Beta Uprising.
>>24438602
your resume is probably shit anon. if you're applying online, you need to add a cover letter to "cover" you not being there. the cover letter is a way to sell yourself, but the person reading it (probably some stooge in HR) will only skim it for 15 seconds at best.
in your cover letter you can try to sell some unproven skill, like how you're a quick learner or punctual or whatever, and be sure to mention your availability (someone that has day+evening+weekend is more valuable than just days). also, you get to thank them for considering you, which is a massive plus over some retard that only sends a resume and expects a job.
>>24439788
They'll either flat out tell you 'no', say he's busy, or the manager will get dragged out of whatever shit he's doing... and ask you about your availability
I've seen this happen before from people who walked up to me and asked about getting a job. Nigger, I'm dressed like a tool and behind a register, do I look like the manager?
I've also never seen them get hired either but I don't know if that's because they turn out to be fucking weird or what.
But yeah, >>24439862 this is pretty important.
You also have to be available to work overnights. An absurdly high amount of retail and entry-level jobs nowadays want people to start overnight.
>>24439862
>>24439834
>17 year old walks in
>"yeah hi I want to work here"
>"when are you available?"
>"ehhh like 3 times a week, like an hour or two after I finish school and also I can't work too late, and also I can't work most weekends either because I'll either be hungover or playing in a basketball team or something"
>letrashmeme.jpg
>>24438458
Our values are under attack!
>>24439768
Reference one
>*flexes biceps*
Reference two
>*showcases lats*
>>24440037
It depends on your comedic timing.
If you made me laugh as a manager, I might hire you.
>>24439958
I've gotten most of my crappy jobs this way. "I have completely open availability."
"Are you sure? Weekends? Overnights? 4 AM? Holidays? Can you work 11 AM to 1PM? Can you come in to work frmo 4pm to midnight and come in the next day at 5 AM to 9 AM?"
>"Fuck my shit up senpai"
>"Alright, fill this shit out. Be here Monday at 10 PM"
Then once a month later the manager made a comment to me about how they didn't think I'd stick around for long because I was supposed to be the quick turnover guy used to fill in schedule gaps while Brian was on vacation. So then they let me stay on with even less hours.
Fortunately Brian was a hard worker and got a better job and I got a good chunk of his hours when he left.
Job was still shit and I hated it though.
>>24440096
fuckin' Brian man, everytime baka senpai
>>24440096
>a guy on vacation is more valuable than you
you must feel emasculated.
>>24440086
>implying I want a job.
I just wanted to show off my muscles.
How about some redflags on ads instead?
>No day is the same
>Not your average 9-5 job
>Looking for someone to go above and beyond
>>24440392
>You must be totally committed to the job
Code for "Enjoy working 7 days a week :^)"
>make $XXXX by Y
>women only, include photo
>include salary expectation
>looking for self starters
>must have flexible hours
>>24440392
>outgoing people person wanted
>paid on commission
>fuck tons of requirements but pay is shit tier
>we are committed to diversity in the workplace
>experience preferred but will train the right candidate
>must be available to work nights, weekends and holidays
>poorly written, lots of typos
>>24440392
>"bright bubbly personality"
Might as well just say WOMEN & CHAD ONLY - BETAS KEEP WALKING.
>>24440626
Saw a particularly funny ad lately for a hotel clerk
>two or four-year degree required
>21 or older
>non-smoker
>must work weekends, holidays, nights, or any hours needed
>wait for it
>WAIT FOR IT
>$7.25/hr, no benefits
Like....dude, what? DUDE WHAT?
Recently moved stares and cut ties with all the toxic people in my life. living with my dad now and ive been jobless for about 5 months. Night shift at the super market sounds pretty comfy desu. Maybe i'll meet some laid back people and we can chill.
>>24440392
>we are a diverse workplace
>>24440760
Hotel night-shift can be quite nice, although lowly-paid and unprestigous.
Tonight I got to talk about current geopolitics and WW1 military history with some old fuck. I don't even know how, he just asked "you're in college, right" after he realized I wasn't a dead-from-the-neck-up min-wage jockey.
Very few people are actually dicks- the only headaches come from unreliable and unsavory co-workers (single mothers, most with felonies) and poor maintenance/upkeep from cheap owners.
>>24440796
That's code for "please be ethnic I don't want to have to pay you much" isn't it?
>>24440392
>Looking for someone to go above and beyond
>above and beyond
This phrase makes me very angry no matter where I see it. Not just in job postings.
>>24440899
Me too, it's basically
>We have requirements, meeting them isn't enough. We won't tell what enough is either.
>>24440889
It means the position is just for filling in quotas. They won't even consider anyone white.
>>24440889
It's code for "Prepare to work with a bunch of leftist kuks if we hire you"
>>24436490
The fuck is a reference anyway?
>>24440952
Like someone who would vouch for you and your work/personality. It's usually for retail jobs/fast food jobs in the US but occasionally you have to fill some out for other jobs too but they're usually shit also.
>>24440952
The possession of references is essentially having a certain number of people who are willing and able to truthfully (or falsely, shit) vouch on your behalf that you're a good worker.
This implies a real or perceived belief or phenomenon that those who do not have an interpersonal relationship with at least X people is significantly less likely to be a productive and lucrative employee than those with X interpersonal relationships.
I couldn't tell you if this is an accurate screening method; although it does weed out a few complete jackasses that are, in fact, too lazy to compile a couple references.
>>24441059
>it does weed out a few complete jackasses that are, in fact, too lazy to compile a couple references.
So half of r9k?
>>24441142
Well, laziness is certainly part of it.
I'm sure plenty of people around here do not have even two people they have enough of a relationship with to use as a reference.
However, with the cursory examination most entry-level jobs are going to muster, complete falsification is completely possible. Not even THAT difficult.
Reckon laziness would come in through not having a resume, cover letter, or actually taking the effort to apply both in-person and online. Tons of that.
Why don't we just start our own business?
>forced to continue high school despite every principal/higher-up telling me I'm not going to pass
>finally get diploma after having to get an administrator to let me cheat
>have five jobs since then, all retail or industrial/chemical shit
>now unemployed
Oh but it gets better right? Waiting for it.
>>24441290
doing what nigga
let me start my business of thinking of business ideas
>>24441297
At least you aren't being ordered around by a bunch of foreigners that barely speak English.
>group job interviews
fucking why
you're all bullshitters
if you want a job so badly go to a walmart, or a fast food joint, or whatever and say you can work anytime. you'll get a job
or do you consider yourselves above that?
>>24441344
to save time obviously
>>24441340
That's why I left my recent job. I hate to stereotype but it's hard to avoid it when the white dudes get all the shit for messing up, but a big fuck up by a spic is completely forgiven/overlooked.
>>24441344
They kinda seem in the same vein as the 5th grade icebreaker activities that some professors in college gen-ed courses use. Kinda childish.
But it is also an opportunity! There's almost certainly gonna be motherfuckers there that are less eloquent, intelligent, and competent there.
Just make that shit clear to the folks in charge, without making it very obvious to the other candidates.
>>24441346
Do you not realize that most people on here have done that? I've applied at Walmart around 4 fucking times and pretty much every gutter job you can think of, short of actual sewage work.
>>24441382
Then don't fuck up, gringo!
>>24441346
>be told entire life "just work hard in school, get a degree and you'll never have to flip burgers"
>work hard in school and get degree
>the faggots who gave me that advice every day for the first 18 years of my life broke the economy and now think I'm lazy and entitled when I refuse to flip burgers
Yes, I do think I'm above that. Not like any bullshit jobs like that will even make my resume look better so why bother.
>>24441344
It weeds out introverts to make sure only normalfags can get jobs
>>24436490
How I got a job as a neet basically
1. Make up work experience, describe it as exactly what they want to hear, add fake phone number.
2. Lie about having a vehicle (for some reason employers prefer if you have a car even if you don't need it)
3. Have a very attractive, well written and concise CV (can be complete bullshit, they dont really heard it)
4. Always tell them what they want to hear even if you're lying.
5. Apply every online application possible, supermarkets, fast food. (liquor stores are especially good because it's dangerous, and you can get in shit for not asking for ID.
6. Go in store to talk to employers, email after interview, call them on phone. Basically show you're extremely interested.
7. If all else fails try sympathy and begging, say you'll be homeless or something.
but you just need to work somewhere for a day or do the guy who hired you need to say something positive about you?
cuz if the later them the true robots should JUST give up
>>24441492
>6. Go in store to talk to employers, email after interview, call them on phone. Basically show you're extremely interested.
>7. If all else fails try sympathy and begging, say you'll be homeless or something.
are robots really that desesperated for a job?
>become neet by choice 3 weeks ago
>go on kijiji for literally 10 minutes
>get 6 phone numbers for light labor jobs that are bus accessible
>call 2 of them
>schedule interviews
>call 3rd
>asks me to start the next day
>didn't even need to have a resume
idk bros
maybe i live in the right area
>do phone screens with 7 places
>they tell me theyll get back to me in a week or two
>it's been a week so I email them if I can schedule the second round interview by next week or the week after since next week is the holidays
>no reply
FUCKING RECRUITERS
i want an office job. like the one in office space. just filing fucking reports all day, don't have to talk to any customers, just sit at a desk and do repetitive work all day.
i wish that actually existed
>tired of being neet
>got fired of 2 jobs for being a lazy fuck that would miss work (no show no call)
>Lied in my recent interview when they asked me if I ever being laid of a job
>no friends
>literally posted my mom, a cousin, and an aunt as reference
>got the job
>$12/hr Fulltime
>being working for 2 weeks now
>pretty happy
>>24441492
>try sympathy or begging
I went to a Wendy's interview once and at the end the guy asked me
>any reason why I should hire you?
>because I need the job
>do you reall think I care if you need it?
>no, I guess not
>yeah no
People say they value honesty but they really don't , they just want you to say what they want to hear even if it's a lie
>>24441967
see
>>24441971
I got a job as a security guard comfy as fuck, love it I get paid for doing very easy stuff dont have to deal with people at all.
>>24442006
Take me under your wing.
>>24436490
>he thinks being honest will make him successful
Just lie you fag, i did and so did everyone else.
>>24442006
Yeah but security classes for the license cost 120$. I dont have any money.
>>24442006
tried doing this once. literally every security guard training in toronto is a scam. you can look up any company thats advertising on google and they will all have tons of reports of them scamming people.
it scared me off kinda
also im a twink looking faggot whos gonna take me seriously in a security uniform lol
>>24442106
I'd hire you for other things.
>>24441967
I had a data entry job like that. I used to sit in a big room all by myself and type on a laptop all day. I hated it.
I might be socially awkward, but I'm not antisocial. I much prefer customer service jobs; interacting with people is generally satisfying except the occasional dickhead. And the more you do it, the better you get at it.
>>24442248
What porn video is that from?
>>24442248
i would kill for a job like that fug
>>24441980
>People say they value honesty but they really don't , they just want you to say what they want to hear even if it's a lie
Not totally true. A potential employer doesn't specifically want someone that lies to please the employer. They specifically want a good goy that'll take all the abuse and shit piled on 'em without a complaint. Actually, they'll need to do it with a big ole' smile.
But if they can't get THAT goy, they'd rather have someone that is willing to present the illusion that you're that goy.
>>24440626
>poorly written, lots of typos
I've seen ads where it says you need to be observant/highly focused which have spelling mistakes and I assume it's a test and tell them in my letter that they made a spelling mistake.
>>24441967
I had an office job for a few months.
>0 training.
>Department's boss had no idea what I could/couldn't do and was unwilling to understand that she needed to give me access to things to help her.
>She and the co-incharge were almost always just slightly passive aggressive in a way that made me feel like they were just fucking with me half the time.
Here are the pro's
>$33.5au/h since I was temp
>about 3 hours of actual work a day, plus 1-2 depending on the boss's needs
>Could always leave early since I had done all my work & boss had already left
The stress of the boss giving me random tasks and expecting me to know what to do was definitely shit but I was making bank nigger.
>>24442248
>I'm not antisocial
fuck off normie
>>24440721
thats what capitalism gets you
businesses basically prey on the desperate
>>24441967
Don't Senpai. I'm in one atm and I get treated like shit. The repetitive work allows you to think about how much you have nothing to live for.
