>"look who came out of his cave! So anon what are you doing with your life? Your cousin billy here just got accepted into Yale Medical school and is getting married next month"
>>24428938
Calm the fuck down, I'm just going to pick up my new painting
>pic related
>>24428938
>valuing someone based on their percentage of being enslaved, be it to working or a woman
I never understood this in stereotypical family meetings. My family never did this. We'd just all recall shitty situations that we or people in our environments had, not stories about success. I guess being a boring fuck isn't running in our blood.
>>24429027
Usually Upper middle/upper class conservative families do this.
They're insecure and always in competition with each other even though they're family
just getting some snacks (pretends to look though pantry while they stare)
>>24430411
Doesn't your family make you eat with them?
>>24430411
>Pretending to get snacks to avoid attention
Trust me this DOESN'T work if you are a fat fuck
>Keep snacks in my kitchen cupboards so I don't get tempted to snack after brushing my teeth
>Lots of family over the other month
>I am hiding in my room
>Get hungry
>Go into the kitchen
>Entire family is in the lounge
>Kitchen is opened into the lounge so they all see me
>They all start saying ''hey its anon/he came out of his cave etc''
>I pretend to laugh but don't say anything
>Walk over to the cupboard and open it
>As I open it I reveal my choice of snack foods to the entire family
>3 boxes of Lucky Charms, 3 large family size dorito bags, Caribbean hot sauce, and several packets of gummy candies
>can feel their eyes judging me
>slowly remove the hot sauce, the cool ranch doritos, and a box of lucky charms
>about to walk back to my room when my uncle loudly sighs and says
>"Anon you'll never have the confidence to leave your room if you eat things like that."
>everyone hums in agreement
>Grandmother says "The sugar in those foods rot your brain and sap away your creativity"
>Can't do anything
>Spitefully respond "actually I am making Irishmen caught in the Bermuda Triangle, a recipe I invented where I take Doritos, smear them in Caribbean hot sauce and stick on some lucky charms. It is very creative"
>storm back to my room and slam the door
>family is still mad at me
jokes on you I never attend family reunions anymore
>>24429397
Liberals do it too. Either side of my mom's family are conservative and liberal, but above all they're all white, upper-middle/petit-upper class (by which I simply mean they've retired with a decent amount of money). Each side has produced a medical doctor, while I was driving fork lifts and now I've been NEET on my own for well over a year. It was a slight relief that mum wasn't planning to visit the aunt for this thanksgiving. At least they're nice and don't banter like other families do.
An anecdote that I learned later in life: at one point, the matriarch of this side of the family had to stop driving, so there was a question of what to do with the Grandma-car. Unknown to me, my dad refused the car out of pride at the time (it ultimately went to the youngest doctor-cousin), which he (my father) explained some years later: "It was (absolutely) a pride thing. We have our own damn money, and we can buy a car whenever we want. We don't need charity from The Family."
I could have used that first-car, ffffffirst world problems. Some years later my other grandma stopped driving, so I bought her out (of her car).
>>24431060
>irishmen caught in the bermuda triangle
holy shit help
>>24428938
>this kid
>Yale medical school
Top kek
>>24431060
>>"Anon you'll never have the confidence to leave your room if you eat things like that."
>>everyone hums in agreement
lmao
>>24428938
None of my cousins went to university, let alone Yale.
I'm better than all of them.
>I'm not going to pretend Uncle Dale didn't fuck me when I was a kid, you guys.
>Doesn't matter how far you sit him down the table.
>I see you there, Dale! Dorky yellow shirt bitch!
>Your kids look like trannies and retards too, Yale my ass, fucking marrying eachother I bet...
>>24428938
>Your cousin billy here just got accepted into Yale Medical school and is getting married next month
Good luck graduating from med school while newlywed Billy you fucking moron.
>>24431558
Uncle Dale wants to go round two ;)
>>24431060
Did you never learn how to act like a normalfag? Pretty much a requirement for survival.
>>24428938
I'm lucky enough to have a cousin who is even more of a fuck-up than I am (been in rehab twice, still unemployed) so I'm not the "that kid" of the family
>>24431615
Honestly, if he had a dick long and fat enough to rub my prostate to orgasm I'd let fuck me like an animal, on top with his body weight pressing down on me, holding my arms by the wrists above my head and pumping his dick in and out of me while I bite the sheets to stop myself from moaning like a slut as he whispers in my ear with a snarling, growl that he's going to cum inside me and I'm going to be his little boy slut until I'm addicted to his cock and him cumming in me is the only way I can get off.<3 Uncle Dale, I miss your daddy dick
>>24428938
>Oh y'know, just working on my master's in engineering, gonna do my second internship next year
>>24431772
Holy shit you've just gone full faggot son
fuck off. i'll go to trade school next year. maybe
I just got accepted to law school at georgetown, washU, duke, and UVA
>>24431691
Where the fuck do you think you are?don't mute me robobrobot
>>24431901
>implying you'll get a decent job once you graduate
>>24431946
>implying those schools dont place over half of their graduates in 160k/year jobs
look it up
Ill probably get accepted to harvard too
>>24428938
<implying my family isn't even more fucked up than I am
>>24431972
>160K STARTING YO
You children are deluded as fuck
>>24432017
deluded because I want that or deluded because I think ill get that?
>>24428938
So glad my family has major malfunctions and doesn't do this kind of shit.
No one got accepted into college except me and no one gives a shit otherwise. They're just there to drink and eat and talk about whos in jail this time
>>24429027
Because in our society your value as a human is a measure of how much status you have.
Jobs = status
gf = status
car = status
house = status
Doesn't matter how much of a good person you are. Doesn't matter how compassionate or empathetic you are, if you're unemployed you're literally scum who isn't worth a wooden nickel.
>be a teenager
>father brings in some guy he knows from some place
>"hey, anon, do you remember who this is?"
>awkward silence, try to joke my way out of this
>even with my autism I can tell this thing is awkward for that guy too
>"it's uncle whatever"
Father, how the fuck am I supposed to remember some random guy I maybe saw once five years ago just because you two were high-school buddies 30 years ago...
>>24432119
Sounds like my pastor
billy can go fuck himself
>>24430910
yes their like "anon get the fuck out of your room" and my asshole chad brother usually says something like "yeah all you do is sit on your computer all day and have no friends"
>implying i gave a fuck about friends
i was just replying what i would do in that situation
>>24432238
You should challenge your brother to a duel and show your male dominance over him in the family. Then all your aunts and cousins and mom will slob on yer knob and you'll breed them
or you can just think of something embarrassing to call him.
>>24432238
>normie brother saying "you have no friends"
iktf too well
>>24432299
>You should challenge your brother to a duel and show your male dominance over him in the family. Then all your aunts and cousins and mom will slob on yer knob and you'll breed them
Double Dubs calls it
>>24429027
>collectively moping as a family and not focusing on success
no wonder your family is likely lower middle class you fucking plebian
>>24431748
Fuck
What's your name?
I'm not even invited to family reunions.
>19
>everyone going on a trip with rich uncle
>mom and stepdad invited but I wasn't
>get on normiebook and there's a picture of them all with the caption being the entire _____ family.
If you think there's no black sheep in your family, then it's you.
>>24432299
i can't kill my brother although i wouldn't mind doing so.
the dick sucking part is a bit far fetched too
anyway hes forcing me to go out with his normie friends tomarrow because he wants to ruin my weekend with small talk and shitty normie jokes he wants to take me to a nature preserve where he will probably try to get me to smoke the normies lettuce
how do i avoid it im taking sugestions
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LEAVE BE ALONE (INSERT BROS NAME) I DON'T WANT TO GO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24433479
Tell him you don't want to go and then don't go.
How is this difficult
>>24433633
>"your fucking going, anon "
>i'll through your computer away"
>"COME ON!"
>"your going to like them"
my bro is extremely invasiv and hostile in these situations to a physical extent
telling him "i dont want to go" wont do shit hes really dense but sees me as a bad person for some reason
>>24433686
I just talk football with mine. Makes him drop all other questions
>>24429397
Seems so, my dad who came from an ultra lower class background constantly talks about the people he hates and how bad his day's been, while my Ph.D philosopher mom is constantly talking about her latest achievements.
>>24433686
He's trying to fix you you fucking autist. Its for your own good. Get out of your goddamn sadness KEKoon.
I'd probably congratulate him on getting into Yale. I mean thats not an easy task. but I'd seriously question why he'd be getting married NOW. like wouldn't his schooling really take priority at this time, especially because he is attending such a prestigious place? I'm not saying he shouldn't get married or he should break off his relationship completely but holy shit man don't drop the ball right as life handed you something great.
>>24433734
RRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HE'L NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! YOU CAN'T "FIX" A RED PILLED AUTIST WITH LUCIFER'S SPINACH I DONT WANT TO BE A NORMIE HELP ME GET OUT PLEASE!
by the way he has done this many times before and it never "fixed" me
>>24433686
You have 3 options then
Be a little bitch and just go but be pissed off the whole time
Grow a spine and stop being such a little bitch. If he gets hostile get hostile back, don't just be a fag and let him boss you around
OR you can use this as an oppertunity to meet new people and stop going full burger king around people.
>>24433733
Are you unhappy that your mom is proud of her achievements? She probably wishes your dad cared about them.
/projecting
>>24432565
I am both depressed and anxious, Lao Tzu.
Am I living in the 4th dimension if I am having a nervous breakdown?
>never go out
>decide to go buy 2 bags of hot cheetos at the big store (not corner store)
>get back and knock
>no one answers
>realize my backpack and a suitcase are outside
>an envelope with $1000
>hear my parents telling me leave
>haven't seen family in 4 years
>>24433949
What did you do after that?
Congratulations on your acceptance into the school for advanced slavery and for taking an important first step towards financial suicide and ruination.
I'm just out here to get another bottle of whiskey and I'll be back in my room, waiting for the world to end.
i don't know why you're even talking to me, most of you hate me anyway.
>>24433949
thats not cool at all. you must have really pissed your mom off for her to not even call you
>>24433479
>smoke the normies lettuce
Top kek m8
Ive been wasting my life away at the computer for about 5 years now. 25 year old NEET living with my parents, working up the courage to hang myself.
>implying I am white
