/Depression/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Depression thread.
Post sad pictures, greentexts, share feels and make each other cry.
>Be me
>Be 12
>Just started middleschool, fresh start and all.
>Have no friends because uninteresting person and crippling social anxiety.
>Decide to try a new approach to gain friends
>Thought that If I do autistic shit people will think I'm awesome and would like to be friends with me
>Started acting like a total idiot and cursed teachers during classes and shit like that to impress people
>Actually got some friends from it
>Continue to creepy shit with them to make them like me
>This goes on till highschool, be 15 at this point
>Understand that people keep talking shit about me about all the autistic shit I did
>Realize that nobody likes me, that just want me to do stuff to entertain them
>Can't believe that I've been such an idiot
>Fell into depression and began getting away from people, developed hate against human society.
>Kept missing out on pretty much everything in life -
>Class trips, teenage love, friends, sex, college stuff, etc.
>Now 22
>Realize that I've missed out on anything on purpose
>But I still hate people
>I've crippled myself with loneliness
>But I've missed so much
>Don't know what to think anymore
>I don't belong in here
>I want off this ride.
>tfw something so small derails an entire life
I know a similar feeling but I don't care to describe it
>>24428643
Any idea where that is?
>3 weeks ago or so, girl I know breaks up with her bf
>she talks to me more now for some reason
>we start texting a lot and hanging out and just generally being better friends
>I start to develop romantic feelings for her
>feel very very strongly about this
>about a week and a half ago we are outside in a parking lot just talking for like 2 hours in the cold night
>things get pretty real and we're pretty real with each other about some deep ass shit
>this is after a weekend trip with a ton of people where she clung to me pretty much the whole time
>this week, she gets really distant and stops talking to me at all
>I initiate all the texting etc and it doesn't seem like she's interested in even knowing my name anymore
>take a shit this afternoon
>open up the good old normiebook on my phone and see she's now in a relationship
Depression coming back fully now, I can't take the constant rejection from girls that shouldn't be doing it to me! I'm the Sisyphus of Relationships. Alicia is my Rock.
Not good at telling stories
Just atypical existential bullshit on my end
Nothing makes sense
Just gonna read more even though I doubt I'll find answers
>>24429341
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Don't let some dumb slut get you down
There's bigger shit bruh
>>24429413
You're 100% correct about that, but I'm starting to become and adult, I'm doing poorly in school and won't get into the graduate degree program I convinced myself I wanted to do. I put everything into finding a gf and feeling validated about my existence through that that I'm so far down the rabbit hole that I can't get out. I've put all my eggs in the "trying to get a gf" basket and there's no way to reverse that. I'm like a wounded animal, in a frenzy, not thinking, just doing what my muscles want to do.
>>24428643
Do you guys cry/feel sadness specifically, or is it a different feeling like anger or apathy? I heard that's a pretty important distinction to make with depression and that it can usually be divided into one of those two types.
Just gonna post rando shit I have.
Anyone read a lot of philosophy? Are there any worthwhile conclusions or is it all just epistemological skepticism and absurdist?
>>24429618
I very much love Camus when it comes to thinking about life, and I love Plato in regards to politics and morality. I would recommend reading the Myth of Sisyphus if you haven't, it crushed me (no pun intended), and it still crushes me because I can't refute what Camus says about meaning and purpose and toil. He offers a sort of conclusion as how to beat it, but I don't know if I can agree with him, I feel like he's smart enough to know it's BS and the absurd reality we live in is the end, there's no way to escape it without death.
>>24429687
Thanks for the rec. I'll probably read him after Aristotle if the existential despair gets too weighty. Favorite dialogue of Plato's? I'm on Theaetetus right now.
>>24429464
Shiiiit nigga. I wish I could offer more advice than just do it or at least you aren't NEET. I feel like the only way I can go on is if I love like I've already killed myself. That way I won't care as much if shut goes south, it doesn't matter if you are dead inside.
>>24429596
Apathetic lethargy for me. Gotta go to work. L8r arcanine
>>24429800
I like Symposium, if you call it a dialog. I also like Republic. I've always been into a sort of authoritarianism and I think Plato delivers not only a useful model, but a very compelling explanation as to why it is the optimal way to go. I would still probably at best be stuck in the Guardian class.
>>24429868
I want to be a NEET, that way I won't have to deal with the ass that is getting constantly rejected by girls I've fallen ass over tea kettle for. As for giving advice, I don't want or need advice to be honest. I just need a place where I can talk to people and wallow in my own misery.
>>24429596
Apathy. I have deppresion, and I don't feel anything. I never cry.
But I feel pain obvs
>>24430203
I feel you, except I cry, but mostly when I'm drunk
