Can a woman actually love a man?
Like, genuinely love a man for who he is and not the pretense surrounding that man (house, job, social status etc...)?
There seem to be so many prerequisites in order to get a woman to even like you. I'm beginning to think that they're primarily driven by their biology to find the best provider for them and their offspring and the man is more or less expendable or interchangeable.
>I'm beginning to think that they're primarily driven by their biology to find the best provider for them and their offspring and the man is more or less expendable or interchangeable.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, really?
>>24414161
Congrats OP today you discovered a truth that separates the boys from the men. Now go use it wisely.
>>24414161
yes
>inb4 not original comment inb4 this was already used as well
>>24414217
Yeah...I know.
It's just depressing. I don't know why, but I always try to remain optimistic with girls, even though I know how they really are.
The last girl I was talking to always insisted on me "doing more with me life" even though I expressed to her several times, even explicitly that I was content with where I was in life and I don't really have many wants and desires. I make more than enough to support myself and I don't spend my money recklessly. I could understand her pushing me if she felt like I was going to be a detriment to her life or I was hurting myself in some way, but she makes her own money and nothing I do in my professional or personal life would have any effect on her.
And my girlfriend before her was entirely indecisive and always wanted what she thought her friends had, and let their lifestyles determine where she should be in hers. She broke up with me, not because she was unhappy with me but because her friends told her she could do better.
I should've known better because her mom was pretty much the same way. Her mother basically cheated on her dad after emasculating him for his failing business. Her Dad lost his business because of shitty clients. Eventually, they lost their home but somehow managed to stay afloat. Throughout all of this, instead of pulling her own weight and helping out her husband who was going through an equally tough time, she jumped ship. Fucked the next guy that showed her some attention and left him.
I really don't think women are worth it anymore, but I was hoping someone could share something to change my mind.
>>24414392
I wish I could tell you that that is not the case but I can't. The truth is most people are shitty but women are shitty in a priviledged position. Guys will come to them and offer them wealth and affection in exchange for their company. If you were given that choice and you were in such a shitty situation would you really turn it down? Most anons probably wouldn't. Don't expect her to. Life is unfair friend. Extract as much value as you can and move on.
Also be careful because the state also protects them especially when it comes to divorce. Don't let them walk away with half your shit too.
>>24414161
are you implying you are someone who could ever be loved for who you are?
LMAO
>>24414161
http://news.sciencemag.org/brain-behavior/2015/08/women-associate-money-love-men-link-it-freedom
>>24414161
>Can a woman actually love a man?
No. Women only care about social status.
Women can love what a man does for her, but she can't love the man.
It's probably a mechanism to prevent a woman from getting too attached in case a Hyperchad walks by,
>>24414392
Shit man, well I believe what ur saying has some truth about women being opportunistic but there's really nothing like actually connecting with someone else. When I say connect I mean just both of u having this understanding of each other that feels so right that u want to keep being next to each other. I had that with my current girlfriend and honestly I can say that she isn't with me for the money, she makes more money than me and she already had a career and I'm barely a student. So hope that gives u hope. Also she's super kind and the complete opposite of a gold digger.
She doesn't really care much about my status or what ever
>>24414834
That's cool. What brought you guys together?
Did you initiate things?
>>24414161
>Can a woman actually love a man?
>Like, genuinely love a man for who he is and not the pretense surrounding that man (house, job, social status etc...)?
I reckon that this is certainly possible, and not THAT infrequent.
>I really don't think women are worth it anymore, but I was hoping someone could share something to change my mind.
Aw hell, man. What could I possibly share with you to change your mind? I'm just some jackass on the internet that has had different experiences, and a different perception than you. There ain't any tangible proof I can provide that I'm right....and to be frank, any long discussion on the matter certainly seems to justify the "opposing" position.
It seems to be a matter of faith with me, really. I will certainly admit that I am not a wholly rational being; and I can identify just what parts of my worldview, principles, and protocol are irrationally-founded.
>>24414834
Haha love sounds so nice when you are in it. There is a reason why men are the poets. In retrospect though, that connection is likely only a temporary psychological state and an illusion. Perhaps it's true that you really have a connection with her and you are not just her temporary plaything but advocating that slim chance as a hope OP should hold dear is a bit disingenuous don't you think?
Also be wary of older women with baby fever.
>>24414945
It's totally possible that there a good girls out there for OP. Perhaps they are worth pursuing. It's good to keep in mind thiugh just how expensive a lapse of judgement due to faith can be for a man. Not just in monetary but also emotional and psychological cost.
>>24414995
>slim chance
it's fucking retarded that people think their relationships are always lucky and perfect, nearly every time.
no it's not a slim chance unless you're talking long term and then it's still a safe bet as long as you're not a poor uneducated moron. if you don't care about a fundamental part of human life over the past 10k years, then that's your call. modern life is pretty comfy either way. but people itt should stop being experts on women and "illusions" altogether, whether they heard a few complaints on reddit or actually got dumped recently. unless you're a jew trying to pull the ol' scare tactic, love is neither fortunate nor a huge sacrifice. it's even the best part of life for a lot of people today despite all the conveniences we have.
>live in shitty apartment with shitty roommate who never cleans
>have job but because of school can only work ~12 hrs/wk, <$200 in checking account
>no car
>sit at computer and listen to music and play vidya when not doing homework
>at least 45 pounds overweight
>tfw gf loves me despite complete lack of status
it's certainly possible. good women are rare to find these days. it's difficult to find someone you're really compatible with; i just got lucky. a lot of women may be shitty, but a lot of men are equally shitty. let the trash be with the trash and you'll eventually find your gem
>pic related
>>24414834
Does she ever have a week when she isn't attracted to you?
>>24415129
I don't know man. 40% of men don't reproduce. Doesn't sound that ridiculous to me. It's totally possible and it's not a matter of luck but that doesn't mean a lapse of judgement isn't fairly expensive so a cool headed approach is probably recommended.
>>24415200
its 25% in the worst cases by country, usually less than 10% though.
>>24414995
>Perhaps it's true that you really have a connection with her and you are not just her temporary plaything but advocating that slim chance as a hope OP should hold dear is a bit disingenuous don't you think?
I'm not him, by the way.
I certainly understand and sometime support the need for emotional/spiritual security; that is, protecting yourself from moderate-severe emotional harm.
But for me, if I've got that connection there, I've got no choice. Nor would I want one! I've been in love with people I figured (and claimed) I'd never fall out of love with.
Well, you know what? I sure as shit fell out of love with those few people eventually. Took me a while sometimes....and once it took me a disturbingly short period of time.
But the heartache was, without a doubt, worth suffering to experience being in love. Even as imperfect as it was; I fell in love with a girl that didn't deserve it so much, I fell in love with one that did, but too late.
Love is deeply tied to the human experience; it'll always be worth it to me. You know, barring death or horrific financial/physical injury.
>>24415212
Meh same order of magnitude. It's really tough to tell with such noisy measurements. You're right that isn't a very reliable statistic.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/h4e/differential_reproduction_for_men_and_women/
Perhaps the divorce rate in the developed world would provide a more convicing argument for caution? In the us it's something like 50% for first marriages? It's not nearly as bad as you get wealthier and more educated but I don't know much about OP's socioeconomic status.
http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/
A girl is in love with me, genuinely, it's pretty cool, it took a long time to get like that though, it took a long time for us to build what we have.
>>24415319
in the us it's like 20% if you're not on the brink of homelessness every month. and most americans in general shouldn't marry in the first place. i didn't say anything about capacity to commit to anything, modern culture is impatient and irresponsible. but the underlying pursuit and experience of "love" exists everywhere you look. maybe theres a problem somewhere there where rising (1-5%) of people are too autistic or scared to find it, i'm just saying it's not lucky or interesting that someone gets a good match, despite everyone on earth saying they got lucky.
>I'm beginning to think that they're primarily driven by their biology to find the best provider for them and their offspring and the man is more or less expendable or interchangeable.
This is generally true, yeah. But my mother provided for my father and me while he did virtually nothing besides sit on the couch on watch TV.
I think it's a mixture of upbringing and biology. But to answer your question, yes I think a woman can love a man unconditionally for who he is and not what he can give her in terms of being a provider.
A lot of the stuff you see on r9k comes from the minds of people who's only interaction with women was what they saw from a distance in high school. Or what they read on some reddit MRA forum. The reality is that all the women who are just normal functioning adults get overlooked. Why would someone shit-post online about someone like my mother? She works for 9-5 then goes home. Many other women do the same thing without being provided for or actively seeking for someone to take care of them, but they aren't interesting. If your only perception of the world is through what you see on internet forums then yes, it would look like all women are vapid whores.
>>24415113
You're absolutely right. It isn't all that often that I encounter folks that concede that there likely exist women that are both valuable and compatible here. At least, not people that see both sides pretty well. Good on you, bud.
I find this to be true for anything; not just romance or women. I've never been severely compromised, either emotionally, physically, or otherwise. Nobody's ever been outstandingly cruel to me. In fact, everyone's been just the opposite.
It is true that fortune has some role in this. However, I've always been extraordinarily choosy with my friends and relationships. I'm not a person that requires them to be content; although they usually improve things. I don't have a friend I wouldn't lose some blood or bucks for, you know what I mean?
It reminds me of something that has been bothering me over the years; the shitty portrayal by many people of perceived or real mental illness or other handicap as a badge of courage. Weakness shouldn't be openly displayed, for all to see. It should be shared privately among those you choose to be close with; in this way the bond between people becomes more intimate. Instead we have a bunch of cunts whining about anxiety attacks and the stigmatization of mental illness, fuck sake.
Women care about social status.
Men care about beauty.
Both genders are unloving cunts.
>>24415420
I've known far more sweet and loving men than I have women. I've known way more guys that were burned by selfish women than women burned by selfish men. Just my personal experience.
>>24415378
Well OP is from r9k so I wouldn't bet he's in a particularly good socioeconomic or social status. It might be good for him to focus on other persuits before going in search for love. Also notice that men do experience love. But even if two people are in a relationship that doesn't necessarily mean both are experiencing it at the same time or the same intensity. Every guy might feel lucky sometime in their life but that doesn't mean they actually are. And since most people are not wealthy and educated especially in r9k advocating such persuits here might not be in the best interests of OP.
>>24415420
>based on looks
I would date a girl who just shares my interests. Looks come after
>>24414161
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no they dont like you for your internal personality. All they care about is wealth and material possessions. If you read 50 shades of grey it tells you all about female nature.
>>24414161
no they are only capable of loving the way you make them feel
>>24414834
Sounds too good to be true. Women are very hypergamous and she will eventually leave you for something better. Also it is all about money because when couples divorce it becomes all about the money or divorcing because the man lost his job.
>>24417368
>50 shades of grey
Why the fuck do so many women eat this jew propaganda up.
It was literally the worst thing I have ever read.
