post your current feels
how are you holding up, anon?
>tfw no direction in life
>literally coasting through until the urge to suicide becomes too high
When I was a young man, I was looking for older fat women. I assumed I might get an easy access cause I was young and them desperate. How wrong I was, they could easily find Chad online.
Now I am almost 30 and I wonder. Would I even be able to get an older fat gay man? Or would he be able to get a better option? Maybe paying a young man in Thailand or somethng?
>tfw leading on gay dudes for attention
>>24397290
Girl I really liked just walked out on me crying, she found out about me hooking up with another girl the previous week. Honestly, feelsbadman.
trying to find a job
>6 phone screens
>I thought I did well
>all told me theyll call me back this week or week after
>no reply yet
not sure if I'm fucked yet or not and pretty nervous so I'm going to keep applying to jobs.
Must have applied to over 50
>>24397312
>That pic
men will fuck anything and it is their overall downfall
>>24397334
want more?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/xojane-/im-fat-and-have-sex-with-hot-strangers_b_8451530.html
>>24397324
That's what you get for being promiscuous
>>24397372
I know, the crying is what killed me. She was so sweet and let me fuck her in the ass. She will be missed...
>was going to pick up a hooker tonight
>I'm out of viagra
>pharmacies are closed
Fuuuuuuuuuuu
>started taking effexor on Monday
>dick ceases to work
>can get hard with some effort but can't cum no matter what I do
>spent two and half hours working on it this morning but to no avail
>both elbows hurt as a result
>suddenly feel an urge to dominate and dehumanize someone
>can't feel hunger anymore
>starting sixth year as a NEET in a few months
>parents are breathing down on my neck
>no ambition to do anything
Could be worse.
Lonely for the most part.
I work all the time and I'm just a lowly busser so women wouldn't want to approach me during the job.
Outside of work my usual hours of dicking off/"socializing" would be 11pm - 7am so it's impossible to meet someone.
I've had fatties leave their #'s for me before, I'd rather remain alone then commit myself to a lie.
You literally have to have a face and a body that's not hard to look at, I shouldn't have to be with someone I can't see myself with.
insomnia feels. 4am have classes i cant be missing from 8am to 2pm
all nightering it just isnt an option for me.
what's the minimum sleep you anons need to tackle the day?
>>24397418
4 hours for a complete cycle. Anything less is just going to make you more tired/hellish throughout day/memories will be jaded.
So basically go to bed now or don't even bother until you can nap after 2.
>>24397429
6 hours at the very least and even that will make me tired. I need 8.
I can pull all nighters once in a while but I'd need a two day break after
>>24397429
i just got up to shitpost some after lying in bed 2 hrs unsuccessfully. but you're probably right... /r9k/ is only going to make things worse...
good night anon, thanks for the swift advice
My only true online friend went down the path of "you gotta have a job to be happy in this life" and then started working, eventually going to parties. Few months later, I feel like I dont even know the guy anymore, what the fuck happened man?
While working can bring something to peoples life, it shouldnt be a #1 priority in life unless its your dream job or something. I work from time to time to fund my hobbies and to get shit I want, but I feel that if you just focus on working, you miss out on everything else. You can do whatever you want of course, but I feel sad that I lost that connection we had. Now he just preaches to me how my hobbies will never take me anywhere and that I cant feel truly content doing them. Its like he is projecting or something.
Whatever the case, Im done with close friendships. Done with people. Fucking traitors all of them. I'll ocasionally play with the people I randomly got to know in games and maybe bother with some smalltalk, but I will never open up to anyone again. This has happened too many times where people go so normie that they forget to be friends and be come bitching grandmothers instead. I can get along with people that have different values and opinions and its more interesting that way, I just dont understand why they turn so goddamn hostile overtime.
>>24397443
I've managed 4 hours of sleep every night until middle school. The bags under my eyes are unreal, but I have more time for cool shit.
>crippling regrets preventing me from considering a future
>complaining to random people (online) doesn't help
>don't want to be ungrateful and talk to people i know
>no point in doing anything
>trying to not have any thoughts about the past or present
>considering writing down my thoughts in a stream of consciousness way to lose them
Has anyone written theirs down before? Does it help?
>>24397477
night since middle*
>>24397477
Damn having to only sleep 4 hours consistently seems like a godsend
>>24397449
How don't you see it? His, like everyone else's, job is just a tool. It enables you to get money to sustain your way of life. Sounds like his job expanded his social circle, obviously, and he finally found some "real" friends. You should do the same, instead of slowly adopting that latest "wagesomething" meme.
>>24397449
Hey dude, I'm trying to learn more about the NEET life. When you say you work from time to time, how much do you work? About how much money do you make a year? Is it enough money, or do you rely on savings too?
>>24397477
I do the same right now. I don't know how long can i live like this... Somtimes i just feel too tired to do anything but i can't sleep.
>Heartbroken because the girl I love started dating a guy just a day before I was going to ask her out.
>Told her on phone, and she feels sorry for me now.
>At least I know she still cares for me.
>>24397588
Sucks to suck i guess
>gf period didn't come
>2 weeks later negative pregnancy test
>1 week after that, yet another negative
>will do another one tomorrow morning
>every friday for the last 4 weeks I panic
I'm in denial, not ready for this at all, but if 2 tests came negative, she's not pregnant, right lads?
>>24397588
How long did you beta orbit her?
well i guess it`s story time
i`ll post a personal story just give me some time robots
Seems like my oneitis just friendzoned me.
I can't even cut off ties since I have to interact with her every week in class for the rest of the year as well.
this is my grandpa story hope u guys enjoy cuz it`s been destroying me inside for a while
so robots here is my story:
>be me
>school break starts i had nothing planned for it and since i was a bit of an introvert i didn`t had friends to call etc.
>so my mom suggests that i visit my gradparents
>i saw them very rarely , usually just at christmas since they live very far from us
>at first i was refusing but then i end up going
the first day was the tipical cringe day:
>hey
>morning
>i`m hungry
>where is the remote
>ok
>bye
but then at the second day it happened:
>go to courtyard and find grandpa just sitting on his old chair (pic related something very similar) looking into the emptiness and thinking about life
>he sees me and invites me to grab a chair and sit next to him i didn`t had anything to do since thei place was in a very rural area nothing besides us for another 30min walking and also no wi-fi
>he starts talking and talking and we eventually end up talking non stop we were actually having a good time just chilling you know just enjoying the moment
>"it was very good to talk with you anon you should come here more often , but now lets go dinner is ready and grandma will get mad if we don`t go"
>after dinner he would always get drunk was has predictable as night and day
he isn`t the bad drunk tho, he would just watch TV with me and grandma say some joke take me to the kitchen and steal some candy that grandma would hide
CONT.
>>24397482
I did for a year or two, anon. In my case it didn't help, just made me dwell on it more.
Is it possible to get a gf without online social networking these days?
If not, I'm screwed, but I will an hero myself before I ever betray my principles.
>>24397677
>days go on and we keep getting allong everyday , even better for each day
>normal routine : we eat watch some TV gor for a ride , he would take his scooter since he was old and riding a bycicle would be to hard on him and i would use on if hid old bycicles those old types the ones old people use you know what i mean robots
>go back hom dinner and eventually he gets drunk , today grabdma wasn`t home she was meeting with some other old ladies , old ladies stuff who cares anyway
>Grandma:"hey anon come here"
>Me:"sup grandpa" as i say this he reaches behind the closet and says
>Grandpa:"don`t tell your grandma okey?good."
>he takes out 2 hunting rifles and proceeds to explain me how they work how to clean them everything
keep in mind he was completely wasted
>grandpa:"hey anon wanna try it?"
>we both go to the backyard and spend the night shooting into the air kek
time keeps going and i`m with him for almost a month
>grandpa:"hey anaon wanna go fishing today?"
>me:"i`ve never tried it before but sure why not"
we go to a river nearby me in the old bycicle and he on his scooter, deserted area no one around
he starts explaining how eveything works and all about it
>we sit start talking (pic related not us but very very similar), he start asking about me , school , things back at home , he was genuanly interested
>just spending some quality time with my grandpa eating food prepared by grandma just great
if happiness exists that was it i was loving this new fishing thing and fishing was also his favourite hobby
>grandpa:"hey anon we should come here more often"
>me:"i agree grandpa"
>>24397704
Yes, just say you're not a fan of it and cite some privacy and ethical issues, but without going fully militant about it.
>>24397714
CONT.
days pass and easter is coming
>parents call:"hey anon wanna spend easter at home? you`ve been there for a long time alredy"
>me:"sure why not"
>hey grandpa ill be going this week easter is coming and i`ll spend it at home
>grandpa:"oh that`s too bad anon ... i was hoping you to stay here for the easter it would be great just you me and grandma"
>me:"sorry grandpa i`ve alredy said my parents but maybe next time"
i could see sadness on his face as i told him i was going home and that he would have to spend easter alone with grandma , in the travel back i keep regreting wanting to go home because it will be shitty anyways , but what is done it done
>easter day
>shitty as usual
>keep thinking that spending easter with grandpa would be way better
>keep calling him to wish him a good easter , but it keeps going to the voicemail can`t reach him not even once
next day comes
>mom comes to me with the "something really bad happened" and says
>"anon your grandpa passed away yesterday AVC he couldn`t handle it"
i was speechless, i could only remember him inviting me to stay with them for the easter and his sad face as i told him was was spending it at home regret is all i`m feeling now
just regret over regret over regret
>why didn`t i stay with him!!
>why was i so selfish!!!
>why would i want to come home anyway!!!
>>24397732
LAST CHAPTER
eventually we go to grandpa place again for the funeral
>grandma come up to me
>"hey anon you know grandpa was really happy when you where here , even when you weren`t here anymore since you went home he was always talking about you and how he enjoyed spending time with you"
>i couldn`t control it robots i started crying like a baby
>grandma:"hey anon he left something for you" enter home and comes back "here take it he said you would liked it last time so he prepared it hoping you would come back and you two could go again"
it was a fishing rod robots , he prepared a fishing rod waiting to go fishing again with me when i visit him again
i`ve refused to spend my grandpas last easter with him because i was stupid
everyday i regret making that choice
everyday i wish he was here for one last fishing lesson...
>>24397754
>>24397732
>>24397714
But that's a positive type of feel. Cherish it.
>>24397721
Females that are hardcore into FB will think it's weird though.
Fuck them for having that mentality if that's the case.
>tfw vague relative called the house phone talking about family dinner plans tonight
>Had no idea what that was about but figured my parents just didn't tell me because they went out before I woke up
>Friend asks me if I want to hang out tonight
>Say can't, have this dinner thing
>Friend runs into my parents out in the wilderness
>They didn't know about the dinner thing
>Apparently spoke to another relative a little later who talked about a dinner thing next weekend
>Friend thinks I was blowing him off
>Fast forward to about 7:30PM
>Relative calls asking where everyone is because she's at the restaurant
>Everyone's mad at me for not relaying correct information when they were all as confused as I was
>tfw in shit with a million different people
I never asked for this
>>24397783
Treat it as a filter for unworthy people. Do you really want to be in a relationship with a "hardcore FB" person? If you're not into relationships, but only looking to finally get sex: create a Facebook account to use with Tinder and roll with that.
>>24397290
Other than the Military what is there for a young man with no future to do?
>>24397290
Just say something like
"I don't even remember last night I got so fucked up. I woke up in bed with *grill* and then she gave me a handjob"
That way you sound cool for bagging that chick, but if word does get out about why you didn't do it yourself can blame whisky dick
>>24397820
This was meant for another thread
>>24397307
Reminder that you should have picked a direction in highschool
Reminder that you chose to play videogames instead
Reminder that you weren't that smart after all
>>24397817
I hope you don't consider joining an imperialistic, private army like the US one.
>>24397312
Reminder that women were always there
Reminder that you chose not to approach them
Reminder that you chose not to live your life
Feeling really good right now. I watched some motivational videos and I'm going to go take a shower and brush my teeth.
Then I'm going to watch some RSD and feel really motivated to get my life on track. I may even look at a few colleges to apply to.
I know this feeling will go away in a few hours so I might as well take advantage of it now. Soon I will be depressed and want to kill myself again.
Such is life when you'rebipolar
>>24397835
>Other than the Military
Killing myself today, lining up a bunch of shots to take in a row. Strange feel, good yet fearful.
>>24397874
Reminder that being bipolar is not an excuse to waste your time
Reminder that if you spend all the time doing nothing you deserve your depression even if you are mentally challenged
>>24397888
Point still stands.
>>24397617
I'd advise to get tests from different sources, but yeah, I'd confidently say you're fine. Of course, this raises concern for your girlfriend missing her period. get that checked if it persists
>>24397918
Reminder that you chose this
Reminder that there was a life lined up for yuo but you can rejected it
Reminder that you have to live with that weight
Reminder that suicide won't fix it
On a 10 day holiday that's ending in 3.
All I've done was stand in front of my computer screen and began feeling suicidal about 2 days in.
Welp, at this point it's either continuing my shit stressful retail job that barely keeps me alive till I off myself or train harder and attempt to join the french foreign legion.
I worked my way up from 5 consecutive pushups, 0 pull ups, and 10 minute jogs to 50 consecutive pushups, diamond pushups, handstands, 5 pullups and 40 minute jogs in 3 months, this holiday really made me feel as if I've hit a dead end though.
Good god, I'm not taking holidays ever again unless I'm planning to do something in them.
I don't want to go NEET ever EVER again.
>tfw love my hamster
>tfw he takes treats from my hands
>tfw petting him softly with my index finger while he chews on a seed
>tfw giving him a sandbath and watching him roll around in it
>tfw the thing that brings me the most joy will die in less than 2 years
>>24397934
>I worked my way up from 5 consecutive pushups, 0 pull ups, and 10 minute jogs to 50 consecutive pushups, diamond pushups, handstands, 5 pullups and 40 minute jogs in 3 months, this holiday really made me feel as if I've hit a dead end though
That's pretty impressive. How often did you do them? Twice a day? Right now I can only do 10 pushups and 5 pull ups and I'm a hungry skelly. I want to try what you did.
>>24397331
It's close to thanksgiving. A lot of people take time off this time of year so not a lot gets done at businesses. You'll probably hear back after the holiday. Good luck, anon.
>>24397934
Reminder that the pain you experienced was solely because you were alone with yourself
Reminder that you are so awful you would push even yourself to suicide
>>24397931
Reminder that this post alone validates my sudoku. I will rest easy knowing that I no longer have to put up with your faggotry on this planet.
I just found out that Wisconsin has amongst the most lenient gun laws in America, I know nothing about guns so now I will be able to get one easily.
I have an interview at wageslave mart today, if i get the job i will soon have a means off this gf forsaken earth
>wear t shirts with anime shit on them to maybe see of anyone strikes up a conversation over it
>10 outfits, 10 months and nobody has said shit
I just want friends
>>24397931
>>24397972
Oh boy here we go, bloxxie rox
>>24397974
>giving him a (You)
Think about how terrible his life is that he has to go through posts on an anonymous soup ingredient trading forum and put down everyone else. He's probably the most damaged of us all. Just let him be.
>>24397980
I wish you the best of luck, anon. See you on the other side.
>>24397984
Are you wearing flat-out obvious shit or something more subtle? Wear shirts with simple logos or something on them that normies won't sperg out over and you might grab someone's attention without looking autistic.
>>24397974
Reminder that no matter what you do in your life you will never escape the consequences of your actions
>>24398000
Reminder that I'm better off than any of you
Reminder that I'm just trying to help
Reminder that you are not my victim
Reminder to check those trips
>>24398000
Sorry, hurr hurr thirsty-for-good-boy-points anons trigger me really hard. Here's a well-deserved and respectful (You).
>>24398013
>you will never escape the consequences of your actions
This is literally the primary benefit of suicide. Your mom wouldn't know.
>>24398003
>survey corps hoodie
>2 Jojo shirts
>filthy frank hoodie
>log horizon tshirt
>horde logo tshirt
And some other stuff.
God mode: I'm not overweight. This is all at uni by the way.
Just fuck my life up starter pack
Down and down. I'm behind on an assignment, learned it was only 4 points. Another assignment I'll just hand in late, too. I'll be doing homework for one class in another class this morning.
I might run out of e-cig liquid and go into withdrawal because I put the wrong address on an order, and of course nobody called me or sent an email.
I'm 25 and I still have yet to had a relationship with a woman. At this point my mother was married and had two children and a miscarriage.
>>24397984
>wear a sweatshirt that says "I hate my self and I want to die" with hearts and rainbows
>only two people have commented on it
>>24397920
I hope you're not implying Pam is best grill anon
>>24397290
Watch you tube
see videos of people doing some pretty amazing shit fucking amazing shit
then i look at myself and realize i'm absolutely
useless
But at the same time i cling to that hope that maybe i'll find that magical direction in life and become successful
>>24398055
At least you talk to other humans senpai.
>>24398034
Thanks lad. Here's a deserved (You) in return.
I want to study and get my life sorted before I get in too deep but I don't know what.
None of my hobbies really translate well into careers and the ones that do wouldn't be right for me to work in.
Dream job would be music journalist but I know I'll probably never get that.
I just want my mum to be proud of me.
>>24398038
Horde logo will definitely, definitely get you noticed. WoW is casual pleb-tier shit now so everyone will know. Survey Corps hoodie might not be that bad depending on how shitty the logo itself looks.
Remember that hoodies > t-shirts. If you have to wear something spergy, make it a hoodie. God only knows why but for some reason it looks less gay if it's a hoodie.
>>24398069
You can too, anon. Look, you're doing it right now! You're a pretty cool guy, Anon. I'm glad we can hang out like this.
>>24398073
Now you're just spoiling me, big guy.U U U U
>tfw no gf desu senpai lad
full of feels today
>>24398034
Reminder that not even suicide will fix it
Reminder that it will chase you to the grave and torture you for eternity
>drink a lot yesterday
>we smoke some hash and basically pass out drunk/high at a friends place
>come back home, log into normiebook and see the picture of a girl that I dated who simply cut out all communication
>almost broke
>2 of my friends' gfs are in town while I'm alone
>hungover, heartbroken, lonely
>>24398149
>he believes in eternal torture
Wew lad, enjoy your torture here on Earth. I'll be partying with God and mai waifu while you eat Kraft mac n cheese and piss into jugs :^)
>thinking about how cringy and embarrassing it was to feel sad over a this girl
>makes me think of the girl
>feel sad over her again
it's a never ending cycle, why must I be this way
>>24398069
I'm getting paid $13/hour to show people how dumb they are at math. Twelve hours a week. It's actually pretty fun in a glib psychopathic sort of way.
>>24398196
Editor's note: I do not where my sweatshirt anywhere near where I work lol. I can just afford to eat so I talk to the guy at Subway.
>>24398172
Reminder to stop projecting
Reminder that I hope you are lucky or else
>>24398099
I tried to give you the ultimate (You) post, but Hirosaki thought it was spam.
Take this final (You), I have to leave now. Have a lovely day.
mfw they got into med school and are doing something useful with their lives and i never will. Should I just kill myself.
I don't like my career
>>24398226
>tfw dropped out of med school
Better not to try than to do and fail.
I'm losing weight and working out which makes me feel better
Still a social mess
>tfw it's cold and my joints always hurt
Winter please go.
>>24398226
>Chad flatmate transferred from Engineering to Med within a year or two of uni
I should just start asking people "what did you expect, you have to be smart to be an engineer" and see how many people I can piss off in one go
>>24398367
I actually have a computer engineering degree. I just don't know how to sell myself very well. Hence menial IT ;_;.
>>24398336
Sorry bruh.
On the brink of dropping out of uni and becoming NEET again
Sort of glad but at the same time I don't want to have to deal with being a disappointment to my parents again.
>>24398413
You don't have to be smart to be an engineer m8. I was saying it because all the time I hear people say stuff like "I don't have a brain for math" or whatever, and it pisses me off. Rarely do people transfer TO engineering, but you'll see plenty of people transfer out, and it's not like the material is any difficult, it's usually just the bullshit work is too much (which it is, if you're not Azn)
>>24397324
>>>/out/
You fucking normalshit
Tardbot pls go
>>24398470
Well, a guy I knew transferred from architecture to engin cos his school had a major projecy every semester. He said mechanical engineering was far kinder and he studies the M&E side of things now.
Med school will pay way more. Only doctors will get rich in this world.
>>24397290
Im happy but I have literally nothing to live for - I have 2 friends who don't care about me and if I want to be with them I must do things o don't like, my family is good but I feel cut out from them, also I have very small dick.
My only friend constantly ignores my texts and calls and tends to hang out more with a kid we went to school with who recently was released from prison for beating my sister :[
>>24398521
>Med school will pay
Well yeah, but I don't have $150k to sink into it. I can get $60-100k a year from a BS in EE, and everyone is all "oh oh it's so challenging" whatever. Internet of Things is right around the corner and EEs are at like a 20 year low in terms of graduates. I think we're graduating more ME than EE now.
>>24397980
I live here too
Maybe there's still a chance I can do it if I can get the money together
