>>24395163
Iktf op, especially when you get into a LTR that early on, you never learn how to be a confident Chad so when you get out of it you have literally no idea how to find a gf. My long term gf broke up with me months ago and I still think about her everyday, the pain never ends. Ive realized how socially retarded I am trying to talk to/hit on girls at parties, always end up going home early cryfapping myself to sleep missing my ex.

Women are fucking destructive mate

>after to long years she started loosing interest in me
>too much of a robot
>things started not to work out
>we were together 24/7 almost
>even in school
>at the very end she started to build her own life(new friends that she didn't tell me about,started talking to me less)
>at the end we decided to break up because a relationship would not work out.
>said we would not act like a couple outside only when we met at her place
>after we broke up that never happened she just stopped talking to me
>she cuts me off and tells me that she is sorry for not letting me spend time with my 1 "friend"
>she is all i had,the only person i could trust
>now it's over,a month has passed and i sit in the same class room with her (i'm 19,in a special course for engineering that's why the one class room)
>sitting there and listening about all the guys that she is talking with and how they are fucking gorgeous and interesting.
>literally 8 hours a day sit there by myself and try not to think about suicide,i just pary for the day to end
>come back home and my alcoholic mother tells me how much of a piece of shit i am ,and that it's great that she left me because she can do way better.
>she was literally my only destraction and my only purpose in life,

>been to doctors,said that i need a psycological therapy and to see a family consultant
>school is fucking hell
>my mother is a piece of shit person.
>i don't even know if a love her or even care about her.
>but there is only one thing that fucking breaks me everyday
>this fucking never ending loneliness and the knowledge that i will never get such a chance at being happy ever again is driving me to insanity.
>this was my 4th break out today,i put a knife to hand not to cut it but to inflict enough paying to take my mind away from the fucking pain

>>24395232
actually i need to add a little more to help more understand the story
my gf and i never had the perfect relationship,she was toxic,hella manipulative and very cruel,she always new how to get to my vulnerable side,she screamed at me ,stabbed me, and sometimes treated me like a fucking door mat,and i never understood that,i will never treat her like that in my life,and i never understood how a person that loves you so much will do something like that,basically she was crazy,but her love and companionship was all i ever had,her smile and sending time with her was worth all the suffering and that is why i think i am mentally linked to her(stolkholm syndrom).

>boo hoo life is bad
end yourself normalslime

>life literally has no meaning or purpose anymore...
>knowing that you will never have the same chance again and that the woman that you ever loved more that yourself is looking for another guy right now and doesn't even care about you anymore...those thoughts are literally killing me like slow cancer

>>24395309
youre fucking 19 you dickhead. jesus christ.

be thankful someone has shown you love already in your short existence.

people here are fucking over 40 and have never had a partner and your complaining because you're young love didnt work out.

just fuck off.

>>24395448
i was a robot since ever...i just didn't listen to the warnings.
i admit that i have made the biggest mistake in my whole life by getting into a relationship,i guess i was blinded by hope

>>24395483
i understand that people have it worse that me,and that i am lucky to know love,but to be honest that is almost in my mind the biggest mistake i have ever made.
if a had the option i would go back and never start one,because trust me when it starts and ends,it is worse that if it had never had happened,because knowing that you wont feel like that ever again is worse than not knowing the feeling in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder why robots even come on /r9k/ when they find each other annoying.

This is why it's a bad idea to have your purpose in life be a person. I know the way that sounds but at the same time it's true. Having strong interests or passions, goals, can be life savers.

Think of some things you'd like to accomplish aside from personal relationships. Then work on that and keep working on it no matter how slow of a pace you do it. The more you invest into it the more important it becomes since you've already put so much of yourself into that project.

>>24395527
there are those 2 or three out of the horde that give really good advice.
that is why i come here

>>24395528
i know that and that is the first thing that i wanted to do to try at least to keep my mind off things.
but the thing is...ultimately it has no purpose for me,i had many interests when i was with her...but now they are all gone.
and to be honest i know why...because i did all of that to build my life,but my life was around her. and without her,without the thing that drives me most,doing those thing...even the things that i loved doing ,is pointless and i just get passed that barrier.