Do any robots here have any tips on babysitting? I have to look after my 5-year-old niece for about 6 hours on Saturday and I'm not sure how to handle kids.
Just sit her in front of the TV and have her watch stuff on Netflix.
Don't accidentally sit on her like that one anon did awhile back
I think the kid ended up dying
>>24394892
Oh god, I vaguely remember that.
How the fuck do you accidentally sit on a kid.
>>24394855
Drink a lot and talk to them about the purpose of life.
>>24394855
All alone with a five-year old niece you say?
>>24395081
dank memes and dreams
>>24394855
cartoon, games and junk food.
Play "find the pickle."
Lube it up BEFORE you try to stick it up her ass. If you don't you're going to have a bad time.
>>24394892
>>24394939
What happened? This sounds funny.
>>24394855
Give the kid a half cup of whiskey... the kid will fall asleep and maybe throw up... can always say the kid came down with some kind of illness
Just sit them in front of the TV for five and a half hours, then start feeding them sugary snacks and soft drink for the last half hour before the parents pick them up.
>>24394855
Please be nice to her OP, she probably likes cartoons and freeze tag!
>>24394855
tell them to handle your dick and say you'll take them to mcdonald's
Make sure you shower her, hygiene is important.
Get a rubber duckie who does "the divie" and goes under water and "TICKLISH TICKLISH TICKLISH :D"
Young individuals need WARMTH to SURVIVE, this is important, so get one or two blankets, make her sit deep unto your lap and look at television, or even better to keep warmth, looking right at you with her legs around your back, as you cacoon her in the blankets and stay warm and safe =D
>>24395455
This sounds interesting.
And then what? :)
>>24395455
Hi, Uncle Gus.
>>24395551
If she is sleeping over, tell her about the friendly yuckie monster!
Show her a picture of lickitun and tell her he visits good girls when they sleep, and it means luck :D
Other than that, Mine Explorer game is fun too!
>>24395455
>>24395632
There you go, OP. That's all you need to do.
>>24394855
Play games, watch movies, give her treats, coloring books, feed her stuff that won't have her bouncing off the walls, etc.
Also, make sure she understands that you're in charge and you won't stand for any bullshit she might try to hurl at you. Once a kid realizes they can fuck with you and get away with it, it's all over.
>>24394855
>tfw own 3 fumos
Also for babysitting maybe put on a movie.
