Be honest, how many of you would have killed yourselves by now if it weren't for someone you were close to?
If it weren't for my mom, I would definitely commit suicide
Yup
Fuck this shit
I feel like life is holding me hostage so it can attempt to coerce me into enjoying it or becoming deluded and narrowminded
It's like I'm walking on eggshells all da time
As soon as she's gone the rope is tied
I think I'll be genuinely happy, though a little scared
the only reason i don't kill myself is because i'm pretty much the only thing my parents care about in the world
If I didn't have my immediate family I probably would have jumped into traffic a long time ago. Lonely life sucks senpai
Me too, it sort of makes me angry because it feels like they're holding me back from something I want to do so bad. And I feel even worse imagining how my death would affect them.
I'm also afraid that if I kill myself everyone will forget about me and move on with their lives as if I was never even there.
It used to be for my kitty and my dad, but my girlfriend left with the cat and broke my ath m50s.
My dad has a gf now and even though i basically send him an essay everyday and we talk every other day, i am just not needed anymore.
I'm no longer in a job where i have a role that is 100% needed and corporations have started hiring unskilled techs rather than going for highly educated people that actually have invested in their field and have a passion for it.
Basically, I don't want to end it because I think there might be something that just comes along....not a relationship. I don't need one for a long while. Maybe a job that I care about. Maybe another PhD...I don't even care about my resume anymore. I just show up and get lost in the literature and try to be as efficient as possible.
Thank fucking god for bluetooth and wireless earbuds.
the alcohol numbs it for a couple of hours at least.
I mean like actually commit suicide?
That shit is creepy.
>>24389175
I'm the same way, but my parents are just going to have to learn to live without me. I'm buying my helium tomorrow.
I want to say I would have killed myself by now if it weren't for my mom but I'm not sure I could go through with it when it was time.
Maybe if I was angry or piss drunk. That's the key to getting over survival instinct I think. Just get drunk.
No, I just don't commit suicide because I'm a coward. I don't really care how my parents feel, all I have to thank them for is shitty DNA and a life I don't want.
Same, to be honest family.
I'd love to see everyones reactions to my death, what would my co workers and college classmates reaction be?
>>24389321
>Me too, it sort of makes me angry because it feels like they're holding me back from something I want to do so bad
I know this feeling
But then I think about how much worse it would be if they actually wanted me to kill myself
The best way they could approach the situation is with respectful indifference
Otherwise you just can't win
>I'm also afraid that if I kill myself everyone will forget about me and move on with their lives as if I was never even there.
I hope this happens. I want to be completely erased from this planet so that this planet can in turn be erased entirely from me and all that I am associated with. I would like for it to be a clean break.
I have the hope that it's going to get better, it probably won't, but I sill want to keep on living, even if I'm a 28 yrs old kissless virgin, I'm not prepared to leave.
>>24389175
I wouldn't kill myself, but if it weren't for my family I would walk and keep walking until fortune or death took me. In that way they are both an anchor and support I suppose.
Me and my brother are really close, really close like we do creepy and weird shit grown men shouldn't be doing. I really want to kill myself but I'm all he has.
>>24389775
What kind of creepy and weird shit? That sounds awesome
Don't let normalcy get you down
I have a small string of hope that I can do better.
I want to make something out of myself, get out of this hole that is poverty.
I don't want to leave my dad with just his shitty wife and her kids.
My family is one of the main reasons I'm still alive. The other reason is that although I'm depressed almost constantly, the times that I'm not are like a high for me. The feeling that I get when I'm legitimately happy for a solid day is one of the greatest feelings I've ever experienced.
>>24389175
To be honest I wouldn't, I'd just spend my entire life locked away from the world, posting and playing games, but I try to do more just so Im not a burden to my family.
>>24389175
Probably. I tell myself that the only reason I haven't killed myself is because it would crush my parents, but who knows if I would have the balls to actually do it if I didn't have that excuse.
The only other part of it that bothers me is that suicide is viewed as giving up. Fuck that, I'm not quitting because the game is too hard, I'm just not interested in playing.
But yeah, it's bad enough that my parents have to deal with what a disappointment I am, the last thing I want to do is make them deal with my suicide. They are fucking saints, I've got a dad who used to lie and tell me he was proud of me when I was constantly the worst (by far) on every sports team I was on as a kid, a mom who still pretends there's hope for me to have a relationship/kids when I'm 29 and have never had a girlfriend. It almost makes it worse, the fact that they would never admit to being disappointed in me when I know deep down they are.
>>24390261
>The only other part of it that bothers me is that suicide is viewed as giving up. Fuck that, I'm not quitting because the game is too hard, I'm just not interested in playing.
I hate this shit so much
I feel like I'm being baited every time I hear this
Reminds me of "it takes a strong man to accept someone else's children and step up to the plate another man left on the table"
Like nigga what I was never obligated to play this shitty game in the first place, you're just turning it into some moralistic shame-inducing bullshit because it suits you
By this sort of logic turning down anything at all always puts you in the wrong, makes you "weak"
sadness covers me in a blanket
tuck me in
let me die
