ITT: Most autistic things youve done
Through I was worth something
I fucked your mom this one time
Posted pictures of my new figmas on normiebook.
Never again
masturbated in school bathroom to the thought of banging my teacher, accidentally got a little too loud and went "OH FUCK YEA, YOU LIKE THAT DONT-" before hearing some normie keks giggling
I stayed in the bathroom for like 2 hours before finally getting up and running out like hell
>>24377663
post on /r9k/ and rename images of a cartoon frog with dream theater lyrics
I used to writemlpfan fiction
Kill me plx
>>24378180
>masturbated in school bathroom
>forgot to lock door
>some guy bursts in on me
>didn't see who he was
>4 years later still don't know
>someone somewhere has seen my erect penis
>>24377663
Typing in posts, then never post or post and instantly delete.
>>24378258
my mfw when
>one time i thought i left my phone at a fast food place
>go there to ask if anyone has turned it in at the register
>see black kid with a phone that has the same case as mine
>confront him
>its not myphone
>awkwardly apologize for being an asshole
>drive home
>find phone in my car
>>24377663
Drew shitty fan-art of a vidya girl being fucked because no one else did it yet. I self-fulfilled my own r34 desire.
>>24378154
Did it go along the lines of
>AHAHAHA NICE TOYS FAGGOT
also did you happen to get the lucina figma?
>>24379910
That's not autistic at all.
Thinking that I'm in control of my own life.
>>24378248
I still do. What's your fimfiction name?
I pace around for 2 to 3 hours every night
>>24380083tyion
Haven't touched it in 3 years I think
>>24380141
A lot of people have left. Most of what's in the feature box nowadays is about videogame crossovers. It's gone overboard on the autism.
>qt dorm receptionist says good morning to me
>tfw too autistic to reply and just ran out of the building
I still feel bad for being rude to her. Same thing happened few months after with a gym receptionist when she smiled at me, I didn't smile back. I am just cuccking myself too hard.
>>24380209
This happens to me daily, and not just with members of the opposite sex.
It makes me self-cringe hard every time it happens, never getting better.
>hooked up with coworker
>Tell her mom 'thanks for having me'
in hindsight it's hilarious
>>24381648
same man... same
I killed a nurse
>>24380209
>>24381648
>>24381833
At least we're not alone in this regard... ;_;
My whole essence is austistic and yet technically I'm not.
>I always walk too fast because I'm always in a hurry and feel the impulsive need to mot waste time
>Always climb stairs two at a time, even though I'm a manlet
>Facial expressions don't match what I am saying, I could be talking about how happy something makes me yet never smile
>Sometimes I don't understand that someone just made a joke, I take things seriously and then feel like shit
>Panic internally when talking to girls, either do not know what to talk about or I pretend I am talking to a guy, which always turns out worse
>Can't handle people in elevators talking to me
>Whenever I'm trying to be funny and do an accent, I can never do the accent right, yet I always plow through it
I could go forever t b h
>>24380209
lol what a little sissy fag you are! Go kill yourself pussyboi and let the big guys do the ladies.
Oh, yeah! I'm one of the big guys.
>>24382196
>My whole essence is austistic and yet technically I'm not.
those are the classic symptoms of autism, get diagnosed.
>>24382271
>lol what a little sissy fag you are! Go kill yourself pussyboi and let the big guys do the ladies.
>Oh, yeah! I'm one of the big guys.
LOL
>>24382330
That would be a real bummer if I turn out to be autistic.
But I thought autistic people can't read emotions or understand subtle social cues. I don't think I'm that bad I can still function
>>24377663
>talk to a qt for the first time in a while
>feel slightly sick
>excuse myself
>puke in the bathroom and don't return
>>24382196
>>I always walk too fast because I'm always in a hurry and feel the impulsive need to mot waste time
>>Always climb stairs two at a time, even though I'm a manlet
FUCK YES
FAST WALKERS AUTISM CREW UNITE
WE ARE ELITE FLEET FEET NEETS
>TFW WALKING SUPER FAST EVERYWHERE WHILE STARING AT THE GROUND LIKE AN INSANE PERSON AND SCOWLING WHILE THINKING OF WHAT DIABLO 2 CHARACTER IS MY FAVOURITE
>TFW READING AND PACING BACK AND FORTH ON THE SUBWAY AND TAKING NOTES ON SCRAPS OF PAPER CONTAINED IN 14 DIFFERENT POCKETS IN MY CHILDLIKE CLOTHING AND PANTOMIMING EXCESSIVELY AND PEOPLE THINK I'M AN ECCENTRIC
>TFW I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
![will-smith-the-fuck[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/7PBIw2D.gif "will-smith-the-fuck[1].gif")
I got a good one that's short.
>at prom
>date going very badly
>girl leaves early on me
>leave with best bro, who's date also wasn't going all that well, but better than mine did
>want to show appreciation for him coming with me willingly
>start singing "True True Friend" from MLP while we're driving away
>his face when he wasn't a bronyyet
>>24382196
M8 I'm a diagnosed autist and even i'm not 1/2 that bad.
>>24382558
Well fuck it then, guess I am diagnosing myself once my uni semester is over.
This might be a good thing, I get austismbux insurance in case my education goes south?
>>24382444
>But I thought autistic people can't read emotions or understand subtle social cues.
we don't and you wouldn't know that you missed these emotions and social cues if you were autistic either.
there's probably all kinds of hint's chicks give you that you've completely missed. Once I was diagnosed i payed more attention and figured out how much of these social cues i missed out on.
I did a u-turn and then another u-turn immediately after that only to end up going the same direction.
One time this homeless walked up to me and I could stop laughing in his face. I don't know why, I wanted to be polite and listen to his story, but I was just grinning really hard. So I threw him a couple quarters and he went away.
I tried to stop smiling but it was too late. so I smiled harder.
>when i sit down in a certain chair in my house, I sit Indian style in it and rock back and forth, also while rubbing the palms of my hands counter clockwise on the side of my thighs
>take baths every day, if I have to pee during it I just piss on myself and then splash the bath water on myself to clean it up
>used to have an obsessive thought where I would have to constantly mouth the phrase, "Satan sucks but God is awesome, not awful, so yeah," all the time
>When I'm home alone, I get my phone with earphones in and pace around a table in the kitchen, singing along to music. Always the same songs too.
>During this, I am paranoid that my parents will come home and see me so I constantly look through the peep hole in the garage door to make sure they are not home. Any noise I hear during this time makes me sprint to my room.
Already posted this in another thread, so here's some originality for the robot, you piece of shit gook you.
>>24382599
>I get austismbux insurance in case my education goes south?
i'm in the UK and if you're autistic and go to college you got a free laptop and electronic pen with the student disability support.
I sold them both for 440 quid.
>>24382828
You are literally me
>>24382460
You are my autistic bro.
First day of school when I moved from Australia to California
>be 15
>Told where to go for my first class
>I walk in 5m ins late and everyone stares at me
>I just go and sit down and everyone staring and completely quiet
>I just sit there silent
>I pretend I was looking for some papers under the desk or arond on the floor, pick up my bag and say "Found it!" and just walk out
>I walk out of the school and then hid inside a sewer pipe for the rest of the day pretty much crying
>I then went to school every morning, got my name ticked off and went to that same sewer pipe every single day for 3 years
>When it was time to graduate they legit had no fucking idea who I was and not a single teacher had any clue besides the one teacher he marked the attendance every morning
>She vouched for me and told the teachers it was true that I went to school everyday
Thank god for that teacher otherwise I would not have graduated and I would be stick in that sewer pipe
Also
I saw my cousin in America for the first time
>She walks up to try and give me a hug
>One of those 1 handed hugs while she was holding her bag
>Thought she wanted a hi five like we do back in Australia
>Smack her hand
>She screams
>Turns out I broke her wrist
>I just continue walking and ignore her because I had no mobile phone and no clue what to do in that situation because walk home or head to my sewer pipe
>>24383042
>things that never happened
thats not how attendance works in the US retard
>>24383042
Same anon
I just remembered something else I did.
>About 16-17
>Teacher marking attendance before I go to my sewer pipe
>Teacher asks what I think about our basketball team
>All I have to say is this while looking him in the face
>"GOOOO TEAAAMMM"
>I legit thought this was normal as I saw Americans say it on TV shows
>>24382460
>>24382460
>>24382981
I too, know these feels brothers.
>>24383042
so what did you do after highschool
you had no gpa or transcript
>>24383106
Yes it was.
Victoville California
Excelsior High School
This was nearly 10 years ago anon.
You go to your role call before class, they mark your name then after about 10 mins you go to your scheduled classroom
>>24383232
At my school you get an automatic pass on everything just by attending and attempting.
So since they thought I turned up and I get a pass.
Not enough GPA for even the crappiest university in California so I moved back to Australia.
Did a short 6 month course to get an entrance mark into University here and now I am in my 4th year of my degree after fucking around.
I got very lucky and even more lucky I have two citizenships.
But the move to California was my last nail in the coffin for my autism .
Everything was just different there and especially during the age I moved it was hard.
>>24383228
F A S T W A L K
A
S
T
W
A
L
K
>>24382460
>winter cold time
>walk home from school
>have hood on because its snowing
>2 black kids are walking behind me because they live in my area
>since they can't see my face 1 kid says to the other hey whos that?
>oh thats anon he's only 1 that walks from school alone and staring at the ground>just start walking faster
>>24383319
why did you wait in a sewer pipe. why didnt you explore or go to an arcade
>plan my routes for shortest distance/minimum contact
>cannot be in public without clenching my body (like flexing, all eyes on me sort of panic)
>eye contact feels like a battle
>pace around A LOT especially when I'm on the phone
>sometimes notice that I've been holding my breath in for a long time
>>24383372
holy shit me too
are these #justautismthings? i thought it was just my brain being broken
are you also always trying to maximise efficiency in everything you do? like, obsessing over the right order to do your errands in, to minimise the amount of time/trips between them? or even little stuff like how to plan your day efficiently and when it's the "optimal" time to eat a certain food or have a certain snack?
sometimes i get a weird sense of relief out of having my options artificially limited, because it removes the burden of having to be efficient about managing them
>>24383368
Well I had no money.
Nowhere to explore as Victorville is legit a ghetto.
If you go outside the small area I was in you have a high risk of getting mugged, shot or harassed.
And when it first started I was jus tthere to avoid being seen by any police, campus staff or teachers who might see me somewhere.
Then it ended up just being routine so nobody could find me. I just played pokemon emerald on my gameboy and listened to my ipod while thinking about life back in Australia and ways I could leave and go back.
>>24383345
found this pretty funny, dunno why
>>24382558
>I'm a diagnosed autist and I don't do these things that everyone impulsively does
Not suprised.
I watch Jesus Christ superstar every day because it's my favorite movie. I checked the iTunes and it says I've seen it 800+ times.
>mfw I switched Linux distros and iTunes is kill
>>24383512
why though its a musical?
you're supposed to watch it for the music which you could just listen to on youtube. are you watching it for the story because its just the story of jesus.
>>24383042
>>24383121
>>24383319
Same anon
I just remembered another moment during my highschool years in California.
Before I moved countries I was big in sports. Soccer, surf life saving, tennis and judo.
My mum even paid me $100 to go and try out for the football team
This was after I had been there for 2 years and I had become a fat disgusting weeaboo
>Get dropped off on the field
>Walk up to the group of guys on the field
>About 20-30 big, built, nigger and manly seniors who look like they are all 30 years old.
>I just stand there waiting for someone to sort of tell us what to do
>After bout 15 mins of waiting in the background they finally notice me and start laughing at me
>I walk away before they harass me
>As I am walking across the field the coach shows up and asks me where I am going, what i am doing here, why i am leaving
>He walks me back to the team and tells them to leave me alone
>I stay and try out
>I could not even do the bare minimum such as run 100 meters, jump hurdles or do a push up
>I throw up and they all stay the fuck away from me
>Coach keeps saying shit like "Jump you Australian koala and run faster you barbie boy"
>End up sneaking off the field and going to my sewer pipe and waiting till it's over and watching for my mums car to pick me up.
>>24383345
>this
>"hey, who's that guy, he's so pale!"
>"wtf why is his back so curved?"
>"hey, you, ___!"
>any form of acknowledgement
>put hood up, walk faster
fuck, i ignore everyone
>>24383440
is the pipe still there?
>>24383400
Yes I do try to max out efficiency but only because I hate working double or feeling like I have to go back and change it up. Though I tend to try to fly through things as quickly as I can for no reason.
>obsessing over the right order
Yeah, I always have to put on my deodorant in the same fashion every single time or else it will bother me. (little dab on the left, rest on the right, then spread on the left)
>trips
Everything I do I try to make it a get in, get out sort of thing. Wandering around a store for leisure is alien to me. It's too nerve-wracking.
For the rest, I'm not very strict about. I eat when I'm hungry, come as it goes sort of thing. It doesn't bother me to stray away from schedules. In fact, a lot of things I will obsess over yet never properly plan out and just wing it.
>At university
>Need to shit real bad
>Rush to the first bathroom I can find in the library
>Take a mad shit, was very very good
>Open stall doors and there are 3 girls at the mirror and 2 walking in the door
>I sort of get the deer in headlights while they stare at me
>I try and say something along the lines of "Fucking hell, I thought this was the mens room
>I end up saying I'm the fucking mens room"
>Waiting for a response i notice what I said
>I just hightail it out of there and go 30 mins across campus to the other library
>>24382196
>>24383477
>I always walk too fast because I'm always in a hurry and feel the impulsive need to mot waste time
i do this but i try to keep it very subtle
>Always climb stairs two at a time, even though I'm a manlet
I'm 6'2" so i can get away with this
>Facial expressions don't match what I am saying, I could be talking about how happy something makes me yet never smile
i definitely do this
>Sometimes I don't understand that someone just made a joke, I take things seriously and then feel like shit
nope
i dont do this
>Panic internally when talking to girls, either do not know what to talk about or I pretend I am talking to a guy, which always turns out worse
i can talk to girls fine, but i literally have no idea how to flirt with them
>Can't handle people in elevators talking to me
i can
>Whenever I'm trying to be funny and do an accent, I can never do the accent right, yet I always plow through it
I stopped trying to be funny a long time ago because people always thought i was serious due to my lack of facial expressions got all offended n' shit, my jokes never end well.
i just play it cool kinda like the driver, he's my idol :3
>>24383752
I always scout out the bathrooms before I enter and make sure it's the most secluded one possible. Funny story though
>>24383704
It is
My memory is a bit off. I thought it was a sewer pipe but it was more of a large drain pipe thing.
https://www.google.com.au/maps/@34.4780391,-117.2648266,3a,75y,327.41h,60.27t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s1Gn6Kj09VcF1-cE1iT_H1Q!2e0!7i13312!8i6656!6m1!1e1
I would hide there under the tree.
It's like a half pipe and right under the tree it sort of has a drain with a grill so nothing gets inside
If you zoom out you can see my school nearby just up that road
>>24383319
>At my school you get an automatic pass on everything just by attending
>American education
>I run around the house making animal sounds to freak out my dogs
>I walk up to their food and they sit near me
>"Wheres your food gone huh?"
>Slap tongue when they pant
>Hop around like a frog and sit my ass in their face
>Close the door to bedroom behind me and just call their names and hear them wanting to get in
>let them in and I just leave and close the door again
>Throw food at them while they sleep
>Dress them in socks and then scare them to watch them scamper away
>come home from night out
>flatmate comes home after me, with a girl we're friends with
>we've made out a few times in the past at this point
>she asks if she can stay at ours, since hers is ages away
>asks if she can sleep in my room
>yeah, sure
>we go to bed
>I turn the light out and try to go to sleep straight away
>considered making a move, but didn't want it to be awkward if she rejected me
>after a bit she says "Anon, I'm cold"
>"Here, have some more of the covers"
>a few minutes later "Anon, I can't sleep"
>"Uh...keep trying"
>we go to sleep
>she leaves in the morning
>go for breakfast with flatmate
>he has this smug look on his face
>he is incredulous when I say we didn't fuck
>tells other flatmate when we get back
>she tells me that if a girl's in your bed, she probably wants to sleep with you
>feel autistic as fuck
They never let me live it down.
>>24381688
more details? how did you get to that point?
>>24382196
>I take things seriously and then feel like shit
same here senpai, I'm so autistic that I actually took this Bhutanese bicycle BBS seriously until recently
>>24383825
Same I know what bathrooms will be least crowded at different times and which have the best toilets2nd floor of C block, anytime between :05 and :25
I hate having to shit outside my own house, I can hold it in for days while camping
>I cough when I poop because I feel like it blocks the sound
>I humm when I pee
>I sometimes look around in my lecture hall and imagine stopping time and molesting each woman there or moving them in a different position then unpausing time to see the reactions
>I want to rape my asian qt teacher then unpause time to see her try and play it off when I just came in her ass
>>24382196
>>I always walk too fast because I'm always in a hurry and feel the impulsive need to mot waste time
this. I also stare straight ahead when walking through crowds and shoulder check everybody.
>>Facial expressions don't match what I am saying, I could be talking about how happy something makes me yet never smile
Why is this exactly? Sometimes I'll make the most fierce and aggressive face when people are speaking to me when I'm usually only ever mildly irritated and sometimes not at all. People will comment, and I notice my dad does the same thing.
>>24382460
who /runsbetweenclasses/ here?
>>24382686
>there's probably all kinds of hint's chicks give you that you've completely missed
such as what?
>>24384859
who /walks fast but can't go down stairs in public and especially in crowds thus hobbling their legs like an old woman/?
>Watch the King Of The Hill episode where bobby was forced to go to highschool and the advice the janitor gave him was "Stick your chest out like a gorilla, I saw it on TV once....Scared the bajesus out of me!"
>I walked around in public sticking out my chest thinking it made me look alpha for a good year before my mom told me I looked like I have a spinal problem due to my sticking my chest out so much and that we should go to the doctor
Also most recent one
>Went to my first club last week at age 25
>Thought I would be cool and good looking if I sort of squinted my eyes and pouted my lips like cool people do
>At the end of the night I wondered why everyone kept walking away from me so I asked my friend if it was my dancing
>I told me it's because I looked like I seriously had a mental problem and he tried to tell me but the music was to loud
>He said it was sort of like if i tried to look like an angry duck
>I spent 4 hours like this looking at people thinking I was sexy
>>24383400
>are you also always trying to maximise efficiency in everything you do? like, obsessing over the right order to do your errands in, to minimise the amount of time/trips between them? or even little stuff like how to plan your day efficiently and when it's the "optimal" time to eat a certain food or have a certain snack?
I always assumed that everyone did this, is that not the case?
I forgot to tip the pizza delivery guy
>>24383858
just got an image of your whole story when seeing that and it got too real 5 me
>>24383720
>Though I tend to try to fly through things as quickly as I can for no reason.
this is more anxiety than autism, senpai. on my first (and only) date, she invited me in afterwards but I refused, because I wanted to go home and shitpost
I regret nothing
>>24385075
It was the worst time of my life.
Sitting there for 8 hours or so a day under the tree just kicking rocks or playing with sticks in the dirt with the bugs.
if my gameboy had a change I would play that as much as I could.
I remember one day someone saw me walking into the pipe and they stopped to yell at me.
Not sure what they said but I just prayed they would leave me alone.
Only fun part was sometimes golf balls would land in my pipe and I would have something new to play with
>>24378248
i used toedit my friend's.
>>24384969
>squinted my eyes
fuck you
I have shit eye sight and I always forget my glasses so I have to squint in public if I want to read anything 20 ft away
everyone thinks im giving them the evil or glaring at them
one asian lady got really angry at me because she thought i was being racist when I was trying to read sign behind her
why would you think squinting looks cool?
>>24385075
year? pardon my memory if you said it already
>>24385251
Because David Becham, Clint Eastwood ect ...
I thought the lips would make them look fuller like models. See pic, eyes and lips
>>24385204
year? pardon my memory if you said ti already
>>24385271
This was when I was from the ages of 15-18
So it would be years 2006-2009 I believe.
>>24385338
must've sucked. i kinda just blasted my way through highschool. took a break. now im kekin in college off my dads money.
You are all smalltime.
I once sexually dominated this girl over Deviantart chat. It started out as a fucking joke, but then I discovered this bitch was actually being completely serious, so I went even further. This was all through text.
God fucking damn it, I swear I actually started getting off on that shit. It was cringy as fuck. I never want to relive those days.
>>24385381
Yep it did.
But things are okay now.
I'm earning 90k at my current job while finishing my degree part time.
And I have a girlfriend which is nice.
So it is alright in the end.
>>24383440
Victorville isn't that ghetto that people get robbed during school hours too often but yeah that place is boring as fuck tho
>>24384081
holy fucking insane kekshow's that for original you gook
>>24385458
>And I have a gf which is nice
i'd agree with you if i wasn't too socially retarded
>>24385485
>Victorville isn't that ghetto that people get robbed during school hours
it felt like it to a young aussie boy
>>24385522
Shes Chinese.
>>24383825
>tfw there's a toilet at uni that only I know about
>>24383637
>Jump you Australian koala and run faster you barbie boy
makimum kek
>>24383858
Do you still go there? I uses to hide outside too:
>go to some unemployment program arranged by my local unemployment center
>sit there from 9am to 3pm job hunting
>have to bring own lunch
>don't know how to make food because autistic manchild
>can only mace slice of bread with cheese and ham
>only eat this for the next 2.5 months
>for some reason I don't want to eat in the building where everybody can see me
>decide to eat my lunch outside
>is in some suburb, but manage to find nice forest clearing, with only a nearby fenced in school on a hill
>eat my bread lunch there everyday while sitting on a stump and listening to music
>all is well
>one day some kid from the school sees me sitting there
>yells "hey! there's someone sitting down there!"
>panic
>run away
After that i ate my lunch in the bathroom
>lived
>>24385583
nice beard, cute gf. must fell good man
>>24385046
I forgot to tip my fedora
>>24385675
I moved back to Australia when I was 18. So this was many years ago.
>yells "hey! there's someone sitting down there!"
>panic
I was always worried about this but luckily nobody besides the one off person yelling at me while i was walking into my pipe really bothered me.
But anon I know exactly how you must have been feeling
>>24385712
Regret posting pic
But thank you
I finally found out I truly must be pathetic. I was at a job interview and she asked me to describe myself as as a person and I struggled to say two words. And then she asked what I hoped to learn about myself and I told her to repeat it five times until I said I don't know how to answe that. I have also watched the movie lost highway 29 times or something. I have also been listening to the same ten albums for 6 years now.
>>24385774
why regret?
>>24385811
I can relate.
This is why you must practise for an interview. Everyone practises anon.
>How would you describe yourself
Tell them what they want to hear but relate it back to yourself in some way.
> hoped to learn about myself
Tell them how you want a career in the job you are applying for, give examples why and sel yourself to them.
I had a phone interview and I was exactly the same as you. Then I rehearsed my answers and all of a sudden I got 3 offers.
All I did was make up a fake story which related to why I want that job.
Being part of this video I'm not bane https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8szrEdKJsI
>>24385847
Because I am not attention whoring scum.
When I drink, I suck it out the glass rather than tip it in my mouth like normies do.
>>24385620
This post fills me with a sense of wonder I can't describe
>>24385620
tell us about the toilet, anon!!
>taught myself to count in binary on my fingers
>taught myself hexadecimal
>taught myself today the duodecimal system (base-12)
>spent three hours making an addition table, multiplication table, and how to do basic functions in base-12
"Anon, how much change do we need to go buy smokes?"
>pull down change jar and start counting pennies
"...eight, nine, dec, el, doh, doh-one..."
"What?"
I could have studied something actually useful today like actual math that I'm shit at, but no; I studied how to count by fucking twelves today.
>>24385950
I also found one at my university.
It's in the laboratory of where they store dead bodies for medical classes.
Nobody uses it and I don't think a janitor even cleans it because my shit stains are always on the bowls and it's out of towels.
But sometimes I strip naked and walk around for the trill of it and jack off.
>>24386015
You are the best of the worst.
A shiny polished turd
>>24377663
>be sitting in front row of class
>its a lab table setup at uni
>throughout the entire week i've been getting nosebleeds for some reason but they always happened while at home
>so i feel my nose getting runny thinking its snot or some shit
>sniff a little but it keeps running and it feels hot
>touch my finger underneath my nose, its fucking blood
>at this point its coming out like a slow leaking faucet nonstop
>too fucking embarassed to get up and leave for the bathroom because i know the professor will say something/ class will see the bloody mess i've become
>i try to ride it out by putting my arm up to my nose
>at this point, the cuffs of my hoody are fucking soaked in blood
>guy next to me doesn't even say anything or notice let alone the professor as i'm expecting him to stop the lecture and say "anon, are you okay?"
>it's working
>by this point i might as well look like i'm taking a fucking nap because i'm trying so hard to cover the bottom portion of my face which probably looks like i went down a girl on her period (heh)
>class has a 30min break so dart out of there to go to the bathroom while everyone is busy talking to each other
>come back after washing up, feelsgoodman but i feel like an autist because i could have just ran out before the bleeding got worse
>>24382271
Holy shit anon, you got me.
>be me, 16
>qt 8/10 gf
>hugely religious parents
>rebel child
>secretly wants to be a slut
>I realise
>fuckyeah.ppt
>making out on my bed
>she's horny as fuck
>undress her
>going to go down on her
>autism
>feel something strange and wriggly in my pocket
>oh god no
>fuck
>it's spaghetti
>spaghetti starts pouring out of my pockets
>soon enough the whole bed is covered in spaghetti
>she's covered in it too
>enough spaghetti to last Italy a decade
>decide I don't want to go down on her anymore
>don't wanna fuck it up
>stop
>pick up her underwear
>hand it back to her
>need to make up excuse for my autism
>"I didn't wanna pressure you into anything"
>she looks at me
>I look at her
>realise what I've just done
>sit there awkwardly
What the fuck why
Still cringe at this to this very day
>>24386123
You call this bait?
>>24386123
This is the first spaghetti story I've seen in a while.
>>24386123
originaltext#5235
>>24386237
Wasn't it the original spaghetti story?
>>24386175
do you even know what bait is?
>>24386399
The story was so bad on purpose that he is trying to get people to respond seriously.
But it was done so extremely bad it is VERY obvious hence, you call this bait?
>>24386466
>what's spaghettipasta
>>24382686
>Once I was diagnosed i payed more attention and figured out how much of these social cues i missed out on.
>tfw I still can't pick them out when I'm looking for them
just fuck my shit up
>>24386568
>what is shit tier trolling
>>24383042
How the fuck did you graduate without doing any classes. This can't be real. Didn't teachers each take attendance separately.
>>24385749
Three years dude? That's a long fucking time. I would have just walked back to my house. You literally wasted months and months of your life camping out in a tunnel lol
>>24386608
man, didn't you see any spaghetti stories on r/4chan?
>>24385204
Reminds me of hiding in the bathroom until class started or waiting hours for parents to pick me up while people drive past me with disgust in their eyes. Think I was there until 9pm when I was done with class or sports or whatever at like 3. Hated myself and still do to this day.
>>24386618
Not at this school they didn't.
You are organised into rooms based on alphabetical order from your last names. A teacher marks you off and then they report anyone who did not go to school that day.
Everyone else was expected to go right to class.
I might mention I did go to the school twice a year to organise my classes for that semester.
But not once did they discuss my grades for the previous semester they just saw I came to school, I was enrolled in those classes but received an F for every single test or assignment. But since you attended class you automatic pass.
>>24384969
lol! big kek 4 u
>>24386666
My mom worked from home. I couldn't go home unfortunately but I remember I tried just hanging out in our backyard behind a fence but I was reported for not coming to school that day.
I confessed I didn't go and they just gave me a slap on the wrist.
But fuck I have a new story I remember now.
>My brother did not cope with the move but not as bad as me
>He is 2 years older then me so he graduated sooner
>He just hung out at home doing nothing
>One day my mom had to go into her office so it was just my brother at home
>This day I had to go take a mandatory exam which is for the school to get funding or something
>I had the bright idea to try and pretend I went to school but I am really just hiding in my closet sleeping
>An hour passed and our cat found me and started meowing and clawing at the door
>My brother walks up and starts seeing whats going on
>Mfw he opens the door to see me hiding in the closet ontop of some pillows under my jackets
>he just stared at me and walked away back to his computer and I sort of didn't know what to do now that I was found out
>So I just pretended that I was taking a nap and slept in before rushing off to my sewer pipe
>>24384064
>American education
That's just hippy schools. You can't get into any universities graduating from those schools.
>>24384427
>after a bit she says "Anon, I'm cold"
>"Here, have some more of the covers"
>a few minutes later "Anon, I can't sleep"
Women are the fucking worst. Why can't they just say what they want god damn it?
>>24386947
This
The school was 80% blacks and spics so they needed an easy system in the school I think
>>24387026
>What's wrong? You seem unhappy?
>"Nothing.
>You can tell me, it's okay. I want you to be happy
>"ITS NOTHING!!!!!"
>Alright I'll leave you alone
>"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!!!"
>>24385774
fucking nerds
>>24387142
You did this why?
>>24387142
thank u breh
>>24387026
She probably felt completely rejected after that, which could have been avoided if she had just said or acted on what she meant. How many guys are actually going to say no to a direct question like that?
Sure, there's a slight risk of putting yourself out there and being shot down, but far less than the risks a guy would have to take.
>be 1.5 years old
>steal scissors and start cutting paper
>fuck this is great fun
>mom finds you cutting
>doesn't make you stop because she is a lazy bitch and notices you are good
>whenever people come at your house they are amused by your cutting skills
>spend hours cutting pointlessly
Also every songle time i had to make a prsentation
>>24382828
>used to have an obsessive thought where I would have to constantly mouth the phrase, "Satan sucks but God is awesome, not awful, so yeah," all the time
When i was a child and discovered that in dragonball baby possessed vegeta and used his body to do bad stuff i was really shocked and (can't remember for how long)repeated "evil baby poor vegeta" to cope with it.fuck you for reminding me this
>>24377663
>told a cool guy who seemed to genuinely be ok with me about my dead brother when I was high bcuz I missed him, never spoke to him again
>made an abortion joke to a guy who I was in love with, he never talked to me for 3 weeks until he came about with "lets be friends and get closure", starts liking stacy's pictures on fb and writing flirty wall posts, this was last week I have to carry on pretend like normal
>carrying on like a normal human bean when inside I'm dying
>my fake laugh
>oh and that time I tried to make le funny joke but it wasn't actually funny and I actually just sorta said some insulting thing about drugs to this really cool normie Stacy who was actually just super nice
>being an emo edgy feelslord who pushed everyone away because I was too depressed and none of them understood me, that was legit though all I wanted to talk about was sad existential stuff and I was sort of a ghoul, and all the people I tried to engage with were just simple regular old folk :(
>that guy I loved, well one time I meant to just make a joke about how I look like my mom and so she's good looking too (yeah that sorta joke formula), instead say "you don't find my mom attractive" make it really awkward and tense and he actually calls me out on asking something "really fucking weird", come across as creepy Oedipal sperg 5ever
>seriously do you actually wanna hear all of this
>this beat goes on
>>24387386
Show some things you have cut
>>24387492
None of this is autism.
Girls confirmed yet again they will never be a robot
>>24377663
Everything that I do.
I have to try not to appear autistic. which is weird in itself.
I am not fooling anyone, but they seem to appreciate the effort.
>>24387558
inb4wrists
>>24377663
if anyone is interested in befriending an aspie girl just for the sake of having a friend who is girl, then actually don't pick me because I'm bad at being a friend and from what I can tell, my personality pushes everyone away. I just wanted to write this because lol I'm a grill OH and I was/am? kinda creepy
>>24386855
So you basically learned nothing in high school kek
>>24387640
Yep, I was at the level of about a 7th grader at best when no longer had to go to school (Hide in the pipe)
When I took a 6 month bridging course to get into university I pretty much was playing catch up.
It was all of high school condensed into 6 months
>>24385313
He is neither squinting or pouting his lips.
>>24387591
it wasn't autistic to drop in the middle of a normal conversation "I miss my brother lol he was the oldest one but he passed away 10 years ago, he was my age"? Idek why I said it other than I saw his picture and wanted to remember him, the dude said "umm can you not talk about stuff like that? I don't think we have that kinda relationship" oh my god so painful I'm still whincing to this fucking day
and also it gets worse but it's so embarassing and people would probably know who I am, I even would forget to shower and picked my nose, people I think would recognise me from who I am? idk though I always did manage to not be noticed a lot, except on here where apparently it matters to have vagina? I fuckin implied to the love of my life that I found my own mother attractive, and I didn't even just joke it off or try to explain myself because I was dumb and didn't understand my brain
>>24387694
The only thing autistic about you is the horrible eyesore way you type.
>>24382460
High quality person lol.
>tfw memorize lists of objects from almanac
>tfw my favorite game is to take these lists and assign each member of the list an integer ranging from 1 to 6, and then go through the list while adding or subtracting the number depending upon the truth value of a certain inequality when that number is plugged into it, and then a story is generated depending on the sequence of the sums of all of these numbers up to that point, and I pace around my room making noises with my mouth and flailing my arms while getting all revved up about the story.
>>24387675
We'll doesn't sound like your severely autistic anymore (no pipe hiding in university) kek
>>24386855
>but I was reported for not coming to school that day
who the fuck reported you? and how?
>>24387591
well actually I'd rather not be autistic but if not then that just means I'm just stupid with slow understanding of general and basic social situations and conversations, I did get to try and being a girl people are like "she gets to girl out that faggot" but I mean I didn't ever get to be one of those cool girls I feel like I kinda missed the boat, and now I'm still too immature to integrate into reality. but yeah when I do take interest in social stuff and I genuinely do try I just fuck it up and get so embarassed :( I'm sorry for not being spergy enough for you
>>24387722
you don't seem autistic either but I'm not here to argue haha sorry for typing like a dumbass though, this is practice for when I actually have to put myself out there and um I failed >.< back to the drawing board
>>24387026
because the average woman is an even bigger pussy than the average /r9k/ poster, a girl in my town literally killed herself after getting rejected
>>24387750
The social damage from the important age of 15-18 was done.
I am very direct, I don't understand jokes, i don't understand many things when people try to banter or be less formal, I lack empty and I am very controlling.
That's maybe way I am alight an working as a construction manager.
But I have a very hard time talking to anyone not on a professional level.
My girlfriend is Chinese and is basically a female me. No empthy, direct, ect.. Except we joke in our own way together.
Normally right wing politically incorrect jokes but that's it.
>>24387761
Because I was no marked off on the role in the morning of that day.
>>24387558
It was twenty years ago i just cut in little pieces and again and again,i do not have anything left
>>24378258
>>someone somewhere has seen my erect penis
That puts you ahead of most on this board.
>>24387615
I'm an autist too who has no friends of any kind.
>>24382196
>>24382460
Get the FUCK out of here fast walkers, /steppingbetweenthesidewalkcracks/ brothers unite.
>Always looking at the ground
>Stride over the cracks in the sidewalk no matter what
>Will sometimes stop and reposition my feet or make large strides so not to step on the cracks
Enjoy your bad luck.
>>24382460
I walk fast because the faster I walk, the less time I have people staring at me....
>tfw
>>24387900
but you got dubs :^) things are coming up milhouse
>>24384817
Pretty sure everyone has done the 3rd one..... R-right?
For about 4 yerars now. Every single weekend I sit in my car on friday and saturday night in parking lots eating fast food and listening to the radio while my mom thinks im out hanging with friends and partying. When will this hell end?
>>24384817
>>24387964
>I sometimes look around in my lecture hall and imagine stopping time and molesting each woman there or moving them in a different position then unpausing time to see the reactions
I know this feel
>>24387965
Have you posted the story here before? I'm pretty sure I've seen a screencap about exactly that
>>24383319
How did you even graduate without ever going to class, taking tests, getting any grades?
BULL
>>24387992
I might have mentioned it before on here. Its true. Why would I lie about it?
>>24387992
Was about to say the same thing
>>24379910
This is the opposite of autism. You actually had the balls to ask the store and confront someone on your own accord.
>>24388005
I remember what they're talking about, it wasn't exactly similar to yours, in that one it was like his dad who brought up something bout why he doesn't go hang with friends, feelsbad, and so he goes and parks somewhere and comes home and tells dad that he was with friends and carries on every weekend like he's going to parties, I think fuck, I know someone here will find it
>>24383583
It's better live, anyway--for the movie, they put in a lot of odd stuff plus a whole song that wasn't even on the original album.
I have about 12 different versions of the show and even performed in a production of it, but the original "brown album" is still the best.
>>24377663
>met brothers new gf
>drunk as all hell
>brother told me weeks earlier his new gf was raped as a child by her uncle
>make 3 or 4 rape jokes that night
>she still hates me and thinks I'm a rapist too
>>24388003
Again, as long as you go to the class you get an automatic pass for "attempting".
Since I was marked off for being at school it was assumed I was there.
Hard to believe I know but it happened.
Maybe it will help if you understand the school some more.
Every 2 weeks you go and take an online quiz for the class you're taking.
I did this the first week of school and got all fails. If you do not attempt you get a fail.
So even though I was getting automatic fails, as long as I was there on the role I was awarded with a pass for attempting.
Also note this was a very nigger Mexican school, so any way to pass the students the better. So looking back on it my constant fails and bare minimum passes would be quite common when compared to everyone else.
>>24383752
That's not autistic, that's just funny, but an honest mistake.
An autist would keep making that "mistake' again and creeping out the girls and eventually get banned from the library.
>>24388003
Not him, but I know 2 schools in CA that did the same shit. All you had to do was check in at the front desk to mark that you attended. You passed if you were marked there more than 70% of the time. I don't know what the required attendance was at his school, but I assume it was similar.
>>24387856
you would make an excellent serial killer
> have very mumbly voice plus no self-confidence so I don't speak up
> at a conference, sit by my roommate in the hotel
> see another seat where I can see the front better
> awkwardly get up and move away from him
> mumble something trying to explain "I think I can see better over there"
> know that it came out as "BUHWHVUHGDFGPIOUGEWTG"
> he was rather chilly to me the rest of the weekend.
>>24388085
LOL This is a contender for winrar
>>24387965
>wanting your parents to think you're a normalfag
failed normalfag detected
>>24388085
what rape jokes senpai? give me some examples
>>24382460
>cannot take big steps because tiny
>trying to keep up with tall friends
>nearly fall down in crowd because so weak
>have to hold on to them so i don't drift away into the crowd
i wish i was joking
>>24377663
oh boy here we go
>be 5 or 6 years old
>Neghborhood community center has small talent show for the kids in the neighborhood
>decide to sign up for it
>Literally have no act planeed
>fastforeward through all the kids singing some britney spears song terribly
>my turn is up
>literally just run out on the stage and make weird babbling noises, falls on the ground, starts kicking legs and acting like a fucking retard
>do this for about 3 minutes, babbling, yelling, rolling around
>think its funny and goofy
>crowd is fucking cringing and is embarressed for me
>Dont even fucking relaize how cringe worthy this was until the memory popped in my head again a few years back and it made me want to die
god
No but aside from that.
I went through an MLP phase in like 2011-2012
>tfw made my steam account then and my login name is still fucking pony related.
Kill me senpai
When I'm at the liquor store I usually don't talk or make eye contact more than necessary. Might just be out of guilt though.
>>24388380
That's's just the kind of shit kids do, man. The fact that you know and remember it being cringy means you aren't autistic. Everyone does this shit. They are just all too embarrassed to talk about it anywhere other than on an anon imageboard.
>>24387965
Were you the guy you saw his dad crying while looking at a picture of you when you were younger? That broke my heart, anon.
>>24388575
the guy who**
>>24388380
Yeah, I'd be cringing til the day I die with that memory. And you know everybody remembers it and still talks about it
>>24388380
>sung bombfunk MC's freestyler at age 8 infront of my whole school
>I had my friend dance around me on his knees thinking we were so dam cool
>After it was over the brooest teacher gave us a 10/10 while laughing so ahrd meanwhile very single person was silent and teachers shaking their heads.
Pic related.
>>24386015
Programming is your way to go
Trust me
>>24388660
Top fucking kek
Why did nobody stop you?
Some people had to notice what you are planning to do
>>24388380
Reminds me of "The science fair story"
> be in 4th grade
> smartest kid in the class, really cool teacher
> they say they're having a science fair and encourage us to enter
> I somehow think it is expected, at least for "smart kids", so I sign up
> it asks the topic of your project and gave a list of suggestions
> one is "Optical Illusions", which I was fascinated by and seemed easy, so that's what I wrote
> weeks, months go by, I don't think about it again
> one day they say "OK kids, tomorrow is the day to bring your projects for the Science Fair"
> have not given it one thought
> instead of just withdrawing, I fell like I have to come up with something
> somehow don't even do anything that night
> next morning, take some blank paper to school and plan to "do my project then"
> grab two pieces of white paper and scribble down about 6 "optical illusions" I remember reading about with a felt-tip pen
> it is time to take the projects to the cafeteria
> teacher tells me to come on and bring mine, I am sheepishly hiding in the back of the group with my stupid pieces of paper
> Get to the cafeteria and they have little areas assigned for all of us
> there is mine, with my name and "optical illusions" on it
> other kids have done amazing things, huge museum-level stuff (OK, their parents probably did them)
> I leave my stupid paper there and quickly exit
> years later, a neighbor of mine says something about "I remember when we went to the science fair to see your project"
> realize it was not forgotten, as badly as I wanted to blank it out of history
> realize that hundreds of parents from the school must have come through ther and seen my ridiculous, pathetic, 60-second "project"
> wish I could give myself and any of them who remember it, a lobotomy
>>24387615
be my friend
>>24388850
Would you? Most people look upon accidents and Autism in morbid interest or amusement, and if they feel it coming only few would stop it.
Asked a 10/10 woman if she will help me lose my virginity for 150 pounds.
Asked my only girlfriend to break up with me after 2 months of talking on the phone and a date.
>>24377663
>be in uni
>have class with a cute girl
>sit next to each other
>talk a lot in class and after every week, get kinda close
>start to fall in love with her but never make a move
>end of semester
>"Anon, we probably won't have any class together next year. Mind if we exchange Facebook to stay in contact?" Ok, sure why not.
>a few days later, she hits me up on FB
>"Hey Anon, wanna go for a cup of coffee some time?"
>"No, I don't like coffee:"
>two weeks later, she messages me again
>"Hey, are you free on the weekend? I thought we could go out and party together. You could even stay at my place after." (I was commuting to uni back then)
>"Well, I got this online thing that we planned for a few weeks now (some stupid clan war or something), I can't really miss taht. Maybe another time."
She cantacts me a few times after, but I'm too retarded to realize she was trying to ask me out the whole time. Could have been with the girl i was in love with. It's been over 3 years now...
>>24389059
>Asked a 10/10 woman if she will help me lose my virginity for 150 pounds.
what was her reaction?
>>24389270
She was surprisingly calm and understanding. We had been "friends" for 2 weeks or so, meaning we got along well. We used to talk to each other quite a lot and I was the only friend she had in the class.
She told me that she had a boyfriend, and that I would meet someone if I just went out. Surprisingly met a girl after 2 weeks of that whole fiasco who kissed me, but my lack of social etiquette got in the fucking way and we broke up.
>>24387747
hey what the fuck?
>>24389265
>"Hey Anon, wanna go for a cup of coffee some time?"
>"No, I don't like coffee:"
Fucking god damn it anon even I, a diagnosed autist, knows what that means.
>>24389265
good god you're a fucking idiot.
>>24388278
I remember saying that there really is no such thing as "rape" if the woman is set enough to rape and pointed out that rapist never carry lube
>>24389399
Yeah, I don't actually pick up on obvious signs so well. Another story.
>a couple of weeks ago
>meet girl I've been crushing on since I first saw her at a party
>talk, get something to drink, talk more, basically spend the whole evening talking
>she wants to go, I walk her home, it's kind of the same direction anyways
>she doesn't take a shortcut to be able to walk with me for a while longer
>finally our ways part
>stand, talk a little longer
>say good night
>reeeeaaally long hug
>just standing there afterwards, a few inches apart
>she's taking off her glasses, looks at me
>looks me direktly in the eyes
>"Do you hear that, Anon? It's completely silent, ecept for our voices."
>"Ok."
>>24389634
Wet enough*
>>24389653
even I don't understand this one desu
>>24389653
any more stories like this? autistic Chad stories are my favorite, it's the main reason I still browse /fit/
>>24388660
Surprisingly I did the same thing except I was the dancer and I think I was a bit younger.
>>24389653
>reeeeaaally long hug
>just standing there afterwards, a few inches apart
>she's taking off her glasses, looks at me
>looks me direktly in the eyes
>"Do you hear that, Anon? It's completely silent, ecept for our voices."
I don't get this one senpai.
>>24389790
I wouldn't consider myself Chad. Most likely pure robot apart from the fact that some girls like me.
got 1 or 2 left
>be 18
>school has some event for students who had been on an international exchange
>meet girl, she seems nice, but not my type
>talk a lot, exchange numbers
>text a few times
>she asks me if I'm going to this festival in our town
>says she'd like to meet there after she got off work
>at festival, hanging with friends
>get a call
>"Hey Anon, can you pick me up at the bus station?"
>go pick her up, walk back to the festival
>it's pretty dark already
>sinkhole in the ground, she doesn't see it
>I pull her close to me so she doesn't step in it
>looks at me, hand is searching for mine
>don't know what to do, walk through the festival holding hands
>walk and talk for a while, start kissing
>she's staying in a tent with her friends
>we go there, sit with her friends
>talk to them for a while
>feel her hand up my leg
>she looks at me
>"I'm getting tired Anon, I think I might go into the tent soon."
>"Well, I'm not tired yet, let's just hang out here for a while longer."
>she does this 2 or 3 times
>I'm not getting any of the hints
>say good night, kiss her and leave
tfw she started to date my best friend a year later and they were together for 3 years
>>24389753
>>24389833
Well, appearantly, according to my friends and friends of hers, that was a pretty obvious sign that she wanted me to kiss her. I tried to go for it shortly after, was too late.
We went out once after that, I thought it was a date, she thought we were just going out as friends. Missed my shot.
>>24382196
>>24380209
>I consciously and unconsciously do these things every time
>>24389653
>new years event
>having a party at a friend's house
>about to leave to see these other friends at their party (jesus, sound like a massive normie)
>girl I liked comes downstairs with me to see me off
>hugs me for ages, then lets go and stands right in front of me for a few long seconds
>I say "Well, have a good new year!" and leave
>realise years later
I could have just been imagining it or reading too much into it to be honest, but I'll never find out. I don't remember her giving any other signs, although she did start holding my hand once on a night out. Shit
>>24380209
>supervisor at work comes out of door behind me as I'm leaving
>says "Have a good evening, see you tomorrow"
>mouth isn't prepared for speaking
>"Yuh, seeoo-uhmorrow"
>fuck
>>24388991
ok you like art and comedy? 'cause I'm not funny or creative but I'm ok with when other people are, it's a bit of a hobby of mine, kinda weird I know but you'll get used to it. you hear of a show called it's always sunny?
>When I'm home alone, I get my phone with earphones in and pace around a table in the kitchen, singing along to music. Always the same songs too.
>During this, I am paranoid that my parents will come home and see me so I constantly look through the peep hole in the garage door to make sure they are not home. Any noise I hear during this time makes me sprint to my room.
god i fucking do this for hours upon hours every day, i dont even want to know how many miles i walk regularly
my family makes fun of me because i pace so much, only ever diagnosed with GAD
>sit down at hairdressers
>"Ok, what do you want?"
>"A haircut please"
I never went back there.
>>24382828
also i forget to actually reply directly to people on internet forums
>>24390506
>>24389826
Luke Buwalda?
>>24390053
same guy
>a few months ago
>we're having a going-away party for a friend of ours, an Italien guest student, at a bar
>have a few rounds
>a friend and I have a few more among ourselves
>get totally shitfaced
>don't even realise our other friends have gone home
>just sitting in the corner, staring at one dancing girls ass for like 20 minutes
>her friend notices, comes over
>"Hey, we noticed you were looking at us."
>"Yeah, kinda."
>"The guys we're here with are soo lame, can we come sit with you?"
>"yeah, sure."
>they sit with us, the four of us have a few more drinks
>drunk decision to go to a club
>on the way there my friend starts making out with one of them, the one we were staring at is stuck with me
>"Just so you know, I have a bf, so nothings happening tonight."
>"ok, that's fine."
>go to the club, dance
>girl with the bf starts grinding my dick, I get rock hard, she doesn't seem to mind
>start kissing her neck for a while, then turn her around and make out
>drunk slobbering all over her face, I have no idea what I'm doing
>need to pee, go to the bathroom, where I have a moment of clarity
>decide to go home
Girl I made out with told my friend later that it was disgusting, but the bitch didn't do anything to stop me either but rather participated. Fucking cunts.
>>24386341
The first ones were at a Gamestop.
>>24390053
>pure robot apart from the fact that some girls like me
You also have friends you kuk
>play dice wars religiously, making up advanced stories about the rise and fall of dice empires, including fake leaders and everything
>>24390372
>always sunny
Normie-core as fuck but it's funny. People sometimes laugh at jokes I make, but they're all situational jokes, off color, and delivered seriously because I don't know any other way to do it, which is why people like them I think.
Girl had bled all over herself in the middle of class. Was trying to white knight because she was getting picked on.
>leave her alone guys I personally think that's hot
>>24378180
Is your name seamus.
>>24390531
Shit senpai that happened to me.
>ask for it to be cut short
>"how short"
>yknow..um...short?
>five minutes explaining to me short could mean a thousand things
I also fucking hate how you're expected to know the #s of the haircut lengths they give.
>>24390784
Yeah they have danny devito and what not but that's weird, all the normies I showed it to are either WAY INTO IT or they're like "that's fucked up I don't like it" hahah my mom really loved it, she kinda thinks it's psycho at times too though. They do show it on like cable and such though haha. And internet comment etiquette guy was in an episode right? You have the same kinda humour as me lol I'm pretty self deprecating, sometimes surreal,and also who doesn't love satire? plus I'm almost always sarcastic but always monotone, I think it's funny the things I say and that's why I do, it's great when people don't get my jokes haha that's what I go for. I like my occasional meme when they fit the tone but I hate when EVERYONE starts saying the same thing just for the sake of dropping a slightly-relevant reference-.- um I am trying to get better at judging [normies] too harshly and openly now though lol they don't like that
>>24390929
>I also fucking hate how you're expected to know the #s of the haircut lengths they give.
Literally just say how long in inches, and they'll know.
Replied to this post, desu
>>24390648
>girl with the bf starts grinding my dick, I get rock hard, she doesn't seem to mind
This reminds me
>know girl with bf
>I like her
>we go out to a club with a group of friends
>get pretty drunk
>she's full-on grinding on me
>dick is fully hard and pointed straight up, so her ass is pressing right against it
>she could definitely feel it, no way she could have been unaware
>I'm running my hands all over her body, which she's fine with
>turns around and dances right up against me with her arms around my neck, face right up to mine
>didn't kiss her, because I thought she would shoot me down because bf
>nothing happens, we go home
>has never done anything that would hint she liked me since
Really should have gone for it in hindsight.
>>24390673
I maybe have 3 or 4 real friends. One I've known ever since we were in 7th grade, the others I've met at uni. The other people I wouldn't even know without my friends.
I usually don't talk to people I don't know so I don't really get to know new people unless they are introduced to me.
>at a "friend's" place
>don't know half of the people there
>new girl arrives
>tall,actually really pretty (some kind of photo model which I found out later)
>introduces herself to everybody but me, just gives me a weird look
>we all go to a bar
>friend comes to me
>"Anon, model-girl is really into you."
>"Nah, I don't think so, she hasn't said a word to me."
>"Yeah, but she asked normie friend about you and she's constantly looking at you."
>hadn't noticed a thing
>spend the evening staring at her across the room
>we exchance a couple of looks
>I go home without having talked to her
never seen her again, she's from another city and was just visiting a friend
>>24390815
>leave her alone guys
Well that's ok, standing up for someone being picked on-
>I personally think that's hot
Ffs anon
>>24382196
jerome
>>24390370
FUUUUUUUUCKK
Why is this even a thing? Why do I need to warm up my voice to even speak?
Protip: Sing in the car if you think you might have to talk to someone at some point
>>24391114
I actually sort of loudly hum for a second or 2 if I think I'll need to talk. Obviously when there's no-one around
>>24391088
>on night out
>gay friend tells me a girl with us thinks I'm hot, and is planning to make out with me that night
>I manage to not get anywhere with her, despite this
Incidentally, the same girl as >>24384427
>>24390815
Probably shifted criticism from her to you. Which is better than some faggot saying "guys please stop you're hurting her feelings."
>get close to cute girl in class
>similar interests and stuff, made me feel warm and fuzzy
>after a while she reveals she has a bf
>sudden despair
>don't want to just cut contact
>dont wanna appear like that guy who gets close to girls just to date them
>keep up friendly conversation, say just friends is good
>hang out with her after class sometimes
>she quite obviously wishes i didn't
>i just awkwardly carry conversations when she deliberately tries to cut it off
>this went on for an entire semester
just shoot me now
>>24391114
Lol, story of my life, half-deaf normies saying "what? excuse me? pardon?" or some variant, and me having to repeat myself, while beet red and staring at the ground. This makes jokes hell. I can't help being a mumble talker, alright?
>>24382460
That was fun to read.
>>24390370
FUCK WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN
I CAN TALK NORMAL AROUND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHY NOT OTHER PEOPLE
I shoved a bullet up my ass in middle school in front of a group of chads. Thought they'd just laugh.
>>24391001
>all the normies I showed it to are either WAY INTO IT or they're like "that's fucked up I don't like it"
I've never talked to someone that has watched more than 2 episodes that doesn't like it. I guess most of the normalslime where I'm at is pretty down with non-PC and weird humor.
>it's great when people don't get my jokes haha that's what I go for
It started off as me not making jokes. I was saying shit I actually meant, but people laughed so I kept escalating the shit I said. I actually had friends thennow I have no friends and no one to make jokes to
>I am trying to get better at judging [normies] too harshly and openly now though lol they don't like that
My experience has been that if you're particularly harsh with your criticism, they think it's a joke and laugh.
>>24391114
>Sing in the car if you think you might have to talk to someone at some point
I talk to the radio when I'm going somewhere that I'll need to talk to people.
>>24378248
Too late for you, anon. Seppuku is the only option now.
>go into gamestop to browse
>cashier asks me what I'm looking for and what consoles I own (which is kinda weird honestly, I've never been asked that before)
>just stare at him and mumble a million things under my breath before turning around and leaving
God.
>>24391350
friends, I remember those heh. I never really had more than 5 at a time in my life but that was in school and I've also never had a best friend yet. I just tell myself friends are overrated and keep joking about my crippling loneliness lol. and yeah I think over the top shit in casual settings or said in a casual way can be super hilarious. This might be irrational though but I'm really scared of normies stealing my interests and assimilating it to their needs, it kills it for me, does that make me a hipster? it's actually probably pretty petty but I do care about posers and normies pretending to be nerds, I guess I'm just bitter about being treated like a freak my whole life and then all of a sudden just these past few years it's cool to be "weird", what is that all about? It wasn't cool when I was doing it? I mean I tried not to let it bother me that I felt left out because you can't really force people to like you, but I just wanted to find ONE DAMN PERSON. I'm still looking -.- I just wanted one super cool friend lol not that it's too late or anything but I'm a little bit jaded from being excluded and ignored and even straight up told I'm a "thing", so I stopped trying for a bit, I got paranoid from getting the impression that the normies around here just wanted to fit in with the other normies and not go through the effort of trying to understand me, it was easier to copy their friends and treat me like dirt. It was almost like a teen drama or something and I had to laugh at how uncool I was but man, I WAS COOL. ugh do I come across like a schizophrenic person?
regularly submit posts to the website 4chan.org
>>24377663
The number of hours I've spent on 4chan
>be kid
>probably 10 can't remember
>weekend at Bunnings
>sausage sizzle out front
>ask mum to buy one
>she gives me money
>ask lady at sausage sizzle for a "hot dog"
>she gets me a hot dog, but I actually meant a sausage-in-bread
>I decline it because it wasn't what I wanted and she gave me a sausage-in-bread after correcting the situation
>expensive hot dog went to waste
I'm 20 and I'm still filled with regret to this day
>>24391856
>ugh do I come across like a schizophrenic person
You come across as an aspie, which is fine, you're in good company here.
>I've also never had a best friend yet
I've had two. One died, and the other hasn't talked to me in 3 years. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but he became chad as fuck.
>I just tell myself friends are overrated and keep joking about my crippling loneliness lol
They are overrated for the most part. At least, casual friends are. Friends that you can talk to about deeper shit are really, really nice to have. And it's something I'm 95% sure I won't ever have again heh.
>I'm really scared of normies stealing my interests and assimilating it to their needs
It's not really irrational like you may think it is. Every time something is shifted to the mainstream, it becomes mediocre in an effort to attract more people. It doesn't happen with some stuff, because the niche crowd still outnumbers the normies. Which is the case with anime, as it's marketed to a niche in Japan, as opposed to foreigners.
>then all of a sudden just these past few years it's cool to be "weird", what is that all about?
I have no answer for this. I think it's just people trying to be unique, or maybe realizing that a lot fo the hobbies they ostracized are actually pretty enjoyable.
>I just wanted to find ONE DAMN PERSON. I'm still lookingI'm one person who understands your aspie strugglesIt's really hard to find people to relate with when you're legitimately weird. Normal people aren't typically willing to get involved with unknowns. And aspies/autists are really difficult to understand.
>>24392659
>tfw you start to seriously consider the amount of time you've spent on 4chan and realize that you could have completely mastered any number of subjects with all the time you've wasted here
