>tfw life has been controlled by what other people think of me and chasing attention and approval like a dog
>tfw depression has slowly liberated me from giving a fuck about such things
Not 100% there but almost. I still feel good when someone appreciates me for something but I suspect that will fade away soon enough.
Who here /free/?
>>24377212
>tfw nobody is enlightened
You'll know you're 100% there when you do something that you're really proud of and have no urge to tell anyone.
It is funny though, how my depression was caused by the constant worrying of what other people think and like you, depression was what made me stop caring because I felt that it couldn't matter, I am going to be sad and lonely always. So I just stopped giving a fuck what people thought about me. Bittersweet
>>24377212
I'm in the exact same boat senpai. It feels great to finally live life for yourself rather than the approval of others.
>>24377212
>>24378500
This gives me hope
>>24377212
So you went from a loser to a bigger loser?
>>24378520
He went from someone who cared about comments like these to someone who didn't.
not me, not yet
>tfw you find anime and become enlightened
>tfw you no longer care whatsoever what people think of you
>tfw you have a hobby you enjoy and a reason to work casually
>tfw you no longer feel any attraction to 3d women
Life is good
I make my own titles so that I avoid feelings associated with certain words.
For example, delusional becomes Sokek, after societal kek.
>tfw slowly liberating myself from the emotional shackles imposed on me in childhood
I hit this point a long time ago but instead of freeing myself from the spooks I just became very stoic, aloof and cold. I think I'm a schizoid, but I'm still too beta to fight off the spooks. Fucking spooks, I wish I could just not give a fuck, but I end up just neglecting myself.
>>24378511
The sadness and loneliness aren't really there. More like background noise
>>24377212
"Losing all hope was freedom."
>inb4 ironic "wake up, sheeple!"
By going against the grain you are no longer subject to the constraints on your self image, the normies mock, they wail, but in the end, they fail.
>>24378618
That's it
Feels nothing man
What's next for us guys?
Just live out our lives out in resigned indifference?
>>24378746
Is that not our only choice? Without doing so are we not brainwashed? Would it even matter? Do you really care?
>>24377212
don't feel bad about being depressed
as long as you very specifically define how everything--EVERYTHING--in your life makes you feel, from the close you own, to the rules others believe for themselves, to the eye contact your neighbors give you, as long as you do that, you will get through it and be a real person at the end.
depression is like puberty 2.0 for the mind
it's not that big a deal (it IS but also ISNT)
cherish it while it lasts. once you are out, help others by doing.
>>24378846
>once you are out
Been 10 years, not looking likely.
>>24378864
things take time, you just have to constantly improve at paying attention. things aren't 'done' the way you are taught they are.
you don't, say, 'learn to walk' from being a baby to 1 or 2. you keep learning to walk through adulthood. your body goes on auto pilot.
you are constantly feeding back. every single thing you do is learned. thoughts you think, ways you feel.
you can define how things make you feel though. it takes a while, you just have to start.
hit bottom. do some drugs. have wild sex. then, once your mental map is expanded, start plotting points based on your now real experience.
you can 100% program yourself. first you have to learn to see your own programming though, not just exponents of it.
