who /SlowlySlippingIntoDangerousLevelsOfInsanity/ here?
>>24374627
Sounds edgy, tell me more?
>>24374642
There's not really much there is to say about it. There's no one event I can point to. My family didn't die in a plane crash or something and I'm traumatized by that. It's something else. I can say it feels like a desperate last attempt at survival, or something else, evolutionary..
>>24374680
...something sinister?
>Saw a bird dissapear into thin air yesterday
>Ha must be a blind spot
>The human eye is a tricky thing
>The entire flock dissapears
>They were never there
Hold me
>>24374699
I don't know. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't have a plan or anything... it's just.. I'm becoming kind of reckless. It's not normal but I prefer it this way.
>look over my shoulder constantly
>sometimes the shape doesn't disappear
>stare into the void for a minute
>>24374728
Was getting caught in this degradation of sorts part of your plan?
>>24374728
wow that's pretty edgy man, try not to cut yourself :^)
>>24374627
not even dangerous mate.
It just hurts. HurtshurtshurtshurtsHURTS.
The pain is paralyzing and sharp. I cannot even muster up the strength anymore to try and socialize or be nice to others. And I am getting random bouts of aggressivity. Not that I would act out on it, and I guess I would feel pretty bad if I did, but they are there. I want normies to die.
>>24374743
Not at all. It feels horrible. I'm wasted vessel. I'm going to end up being one of those people on COPS.
I used to be normal. I've stop caring about other peoples lives. I feel I've become too obsessed that my whole perception of reality is warped beyond repair.
>>24374759
I feel the same aggression.
I feel it friend. And there's nothing wrong with it.
>>24374788
You're a guy of large stature.
>>24374742
There was a great thread once where a schizophrenic tried to draw an outline over a photo of the "creature" he could see in the corner of his room. It was odd.
>>24374803
of course there isn't. My life has not always been like this. And back when I still had something resembling social power/status, I never left anyone to rot like I am being left at the moment.
I hate normies. I find their lives, their personalities, to be so boring and anodine. Even the ones who actually want to hang out with me; I cannot be bothered to socialize with. It's like THE WORLD IS THE WRONG WAY AROUND AND I AM RIGHT AND THEY ARE WRONG BUT THEIR PERSONALITIES AND MINDS ARE TOO FUCKING LIMITED TO SEE.
Fugg ;_;
>>24374728
become the great red dragon
>>24374827
Save it for /tv/ anon
I literally just had a mini panic attack.
Getting really hot and dizzy and then thinking i'm going to die.
I really don't want to see a doctor or take meds
Slightly fading away now.
>>24374627
me ,the worst part is no one will be there to save me ,and i will probably die from insanity all alone
>>24374834
does someone have the archive or pic? I'm pretty curious
>>24374880
I will, for you.
It kind of feels like when you are waiting for something really dreadful, that you know is going to happen, but you have no choice but to go through with it. Like a surgery or any extremely painful experience. Some sort of fear induced narcosis that has wrapped itself around you and is slowly guiding you now. Your memory has faded, your abilities deteriorated, you are weak but the same person is still inside there afraid.
I've been this way for the past 3 years now and it's only gotten worse. I think I'm reaching new levels of insanity now. It's only a matter of time. It's not like I look forward to it. It's terrible what has happened. But wherever this takes me, it will not end well.
>>24374893
Fap it off my man you'll be fine
>>24374902
it was mostly just some bizarre scribbles that didn't actually resemble anything.
I'd love for more people with these issues to do the same thing
>>24374728
Sounds like me when I become manic. You just go with the flow holding nothing back. It's definitely not normal and I definitely prefer it that way.
>>24374970
I'm scared for myself. I don't want them to medicate me though. Some people have too much pride, not enough sense. I might be one of those and end up doing something horrible.It feels awful because it's almost as if you're already on death row waiting for them to deep fry your brain.
>>24374945
Last year i thought i was going to die from a heart attack.
this year i think im going to die from a brain tumor.
even i know that it's all bullshit that i myself have constructed it does not help at all with the waves of panic and fear.
>>24375028
What's the worst way you can think of to die, Anon?
>>24375050
slowly dying in a bed with all my family around me.
and i just want them to fuck off and leave me alone, and they are just there feeling so sorry for me and crying.
>>24375028
I feel like I'm sore loser or something. Pacing back and forth unwilling to accept the result. That's exactly how it is with me. I can't, but I there's nothing else to do. I'm in limbo here. The only next step is death.
I don't know what I want, man. This isn't a very productive mindset to have. It's a shame.
>>24375058
Sounds like some other form of cancer for you next year then, Anon!
Lung cancer would be a good one, you'll be bedridden with breathing troubles, it's like a pretty slow drowning as your lungs fill with fluid, and very unpleasant for you relatives to watch (they'll be bawling for sure).
Have you been coughing lately? Is there a tickle in your throat? Could it be...?
>>24375135
don't smoke.
i'd like to die from alcoholism though.
is that nice and slow and hellish?
>>24374627
that feel when hppd gets worse even though I stopped doing drugs.
Are any of you afraid of becoming a monster?
The boogieman you feared when you were a child?
>>24375169
I imagine you could get it even if you don't smoke.
"About 10% to 15% of the people who die from lung cancer in the United States every year have never smoked"
Air pollution is apparently a cause.
>is that nice and slow and hellish?
Isn't that more of a living death?
>>24375224
There is no cancer case that i know of in my family.
so my genes won't do.
there's madness, alcoholism and suicide though.
I'm starting to feel a lot happier now.
after that mini panic attack.
i dont have a brain tumor. that's just stupid.
if i did i'd faint or collapse or something.
>>24375240
So why did you think you'll get a brain tumour? That's a cancer isn't it?
>there's madness, alcoholism and suicide though.
I imagine the alcoholism and suicide are the coping strategy for the madness
Today I tried to google how many smoke detectors you'd need to eat to give yourself cancer so that my parents wouldn't blame themselves when I died
>>24374945
So are you going to become a serial killer?
>>24374699
Like these dubs?
>>24375198
When I was a kid I was genuinely scared that I would one day become a serial killer or something. In my child brain I knew there was a terrible potential in me. Sometimes I fantasise about someone wronging me, just to give me a reason...
>>24375021
I mean, you can get to the point where you lose all control over yourself and end up doing something you regret or something that kills you. Being scared is a good idea.
>>24374627
>tfw went to /x/ and read through a bunch of books posted on their mega archive
>100% believe them and start doing shit
>feel more sane and happy than I have ever been
don't fuck with sigil magic, even if you don't think it works oh it will work if you at least do it right
