Anyone else here genophobic? (Extreme fear of sex)
>can socialize
>had multiple opportunities for sex
>as soon as the situation becomes even remotely sexual extreme panic sets in
>bail
>can't form relationships because of this
>feel guilty, because the girl always thinks it's something wrong with her
>pretty sure everyone thinks I'm gay
>25 yo virgin
This cycle has repeated itself countless times, and I'm at a complete loss as of what to do.
Do you have a small penis op
>>24348814
No, it's actually quite large. But it may as well not matter.
No one? I guess I am alone in this
>>24348797
Doesnt it help to be honest and tell the girl to take pressure of you?
Did you try using drugs to do it?
Get high on MDMA and you will want to fuck so fckign bad you cant hold back when you get the chance.. at least with me.
Or smoke some weed.
Had my firts time on MDMA and it was awsome
>>24348797
Same exact thing for me, anon. I dunno what i'm gonna do
>>24349433
>>24348797
Why exactly are you scared of sex?
>>24349416
Nope, does nothing for me except euphoria
>>24349452
First anon you replied to, was abused when i was a kid. I cant not think of it when sex is brought up. My dick decides that it's not going up and my brain tells me to gtfo of the situation
Have you considered dating an asexual girl who will never ever want sex?
>>24349452
It's more of a phobia, it's not rational. I'm not afraid of it in the sense that it's scary, so much as I get a panic attack, and can't continue.
>>24349470
Well i think since its psychological you can also get it away
Did you have a gf before?
If yes did you tell her about it?
I think it wont go away if you work on it alone
I guess youd need a grill that is willing to help you with it
Maybe start slowly with just touching her massaging her, cuddling with her, so you get used to touching her, being near her.
Tell her she shouldnt presure you with sec, you will go for it when you feel "secure?" enough about it.
>>24349546
When you have that panic attack, what are the specific panic thoughts that go through your head? Are you able to take the thoughts and compare them to reality to help your irrational mind calm down?
If they are too severe for you to be rational with yourself, it may be best to see a doctor. I get really severe panic attacks and seeing a doctor and a therapist have been really helpful.
>>24349511
Thats sucks.
Can only give same advice again, try to work on it with a grill >>24349550
Does cuddeling/ being clsoe to somebody also makes u unconfortable or is it jsut about sex?
Would you like to have sex if you would get hard ?
>>24349620
Cuddling is the most intimate i can get with a girl. But as soon as i get the idea of sex in my head, everything falls apart. I'd like to have sex, of course. I just want the abuse thoughts out, they ruin any sex i might've had
>>24349470
Also that bastard that abused you already made your life hell once..
I know its hard but, are you really willing to let this asshole controll your sexual life ?
Think of it in a way of spitting this dude in the face by saying "You tried to destroy me but you have no power over me anymore" and just enjoying sex.
Right now your brain is filled with only negative about sex so you gotta change that !
>>24349620
Cuddling/being close basically does the same thing. Haven't had a gf, cause I can't handle any level of intimacy. Even hugging people I've known for a while makes me uncomfortable.
>>24349671
I know that feeling, and people look at you like your a freak for not wanting the physical contact. It took me years and the right person to get anywhere you'll need to find someone who you can really trust before anything will happen if you solider on alone
>>24349671
Well if its that hard i guess you have to take more creative steps to take away the fear
Like i dunno go to a swinger club and watch people have sex in real life so myb that helps, otherwise im kina out of ideas, the thing i always used when i had pyscholocial problems like this was taking MDMA/LSD and working on my problem while high.
Maybe there is something you dont know about that blocks your sex life?
>>24349651
Well i cant think of much other than trying to get used to touching or using drugs to take away the thought of your abuse..
Maybe try to find a virgin girl, they have no stress with having sex usually..
>>24349772
I hate the thought of drugs, but i guess i need them for this. Which ones would you suggest? I'm completely straight edge, but can get most drugs
>>24349661
That exclamation mark..
Did you naturally put space before it, or was that a later desicion? Kinda curious about your motives and train of thoughts in general. Are you a pessimist person? Maybe have insecurities? But that would mean that you have insight. INxJ im guessin?
>>24349791
Well since you are unexperienced with it maybe start with:
Smoke a joint and drink a glass of wine or two, not too much alcohol otherwise its hard to get a boner.
Personally i like sex most on MDMA after around 1 hour or something im starting to get really horny, but it can be hard to get a boner on MDMA bc all your blood is in the brain. I solved this with getting viagra from the doctor.
> Generally try get viagra or something like that from a doctor so you you know you will for sure get hard and it kinda takes the pressure away i think..
Also cocain is nice, gives you this ego boost and you can have sex really long,
godmodeactivated.jpg
it can become very animaly :p
>>24349919
Ok then, wew. Drugs are pretty drastic but i guess i need it. Hopefully i'll get over sex and i wont need the drugs for it anymore. Thanks anon
>>24349877
Dunno just thought it important so the exclaration mark, didnt really think about it.
>Was pretty lonely and depressed my whole life, started wanting to help others so nobody feel as shitty as i did
>I wouldnt say im pessimistic, maybe i just think too much
>I dont have any goal or dreams anymore i just try to take life as it comes
>Using a lot of drugs but no junkie shit
>especially weed do it everyday all day long
>Pretty good social contacts, can make friends extremely easily, ppl usually like me
>Fck authorities, want to live my life as i like it, dont give a fuck about what ppl think about my life anymore
>>24349961
as soon as you make positive experiences with sex, im sure it will be normal for you and you can enjoy it.
I wish you good luck anon, life can be nice.
>>24349877
Also no idea what INxJ means
>>24349772
Drugs haven't helped at all, and believe me I've tried
>>24349705
I've been moving all over due to work, so I usually don't have an established level of trust with the people I'm around.
This also means a whole new group of people wondering wtf is wrong with me, every couple of months. The worst are other dudes who are really outspoken about their sex life's. They'll do that thing where they lightly tap you "bro you know she wants you", or some other inane bullshit. While I just kinda sit there and die a little inside.
I usually get a fair amount of female attention, which further exacerbates things. I more or less deliberately avoid/ignore any advances, to keep things from becoming even more awkward. Sperging out in front of women isn't fun.
This usually culminates in a bunch of rumors being spread that I'm in the closet.
>>24350006
>>24350085
why were u depressed your whole life? ppl like u but do u find the satisfaction u would like to find in other people? since u do drugs seems like you re tryin to fill a void. sounds like u gave up and just goin with flow and tryin to enjoy with what u can have. not bad, deffinetly, but just that you cant find a place to put your potential. INxJ is mbti type means INTJ or INFJ
>>24350123
Well to work on it will take time so its sucks that your moving around a lot.
seriously maybe find a job where you dont have to move, you need to build trust to somebody to get over this.
Are/were you in therapy bc of it?
>>24350257
I've thought about it, but I won't be able to get a job that pays nearly as much. And I help out my family with the money, so it's kinda off the table.
I've been considering therapy. But I'm really skeptical that it can help.
>>24350202
Dunno i just never really felt like i belong somewhere, also i never felt like i have somebody to talk to about my feelings. But thats okay, i dont feel like i need to accomplish something in life. I just makes me happy to help others, even if it leaves me with nothing.
i spent most of my life alone, since young age.
Drugs make me feel less alone and i want to explore something else than reality
>>24350312
Well just try going in threapy, if you dont like it just stop, you have nothing to lose only to gain from it.
But a threapist probably can give better advice than some anon on the internet
>>24350355
i see
well.. sad life. better than mine tho. now u sounded more INFJ tho. look to the chart, which one do u think fits to u? im INTJ for example. anything interesting that u explored with drugs? i never did so idk. anything that u would consider a new page to life? or is it just brain numbing hormones and pictures?
>>24348797
I'm with you op. I've had so many chances but ran away from them all. At first I thought it was because I just wasn't ready for sex, was 16 when I first thought this) but as I got older, Ive started to think it was how I was raised.
Mom was very catholic and told me over and over to only have sex with my true love after I'm married. Well, now I know true love doesn't exist, so I'm basically fucked with this trained response of flight in sexual situations.
>>24350496
Id put myself in ENFP desu.
>sad life
Its not so bad, you know all suffering just comes from expections. Lose all your expections to life nd you lose suffering.
Only thing i want and ever wanted was a girl i love.
No car, no house, no fancy job, just the girl i love and me.
Many ppl on earth have it way worse than me, that kinda cheers me up to know it could be worse.
And well drugs are awsome, i love to explore my own mind and the world around me.
Somethign as simple as looking at a cereal box can become a beautiful experience. I learned alot about myself with drugs.
I have some trip stories if you are interested? typed them for some other forum once.
>>24350619
enfp!
you know, you cant loose expectations. you can just learn that you are not gona get them, but the need will stay there, so does the void. and void does create suffering in a different level. so far, i coudlnt find a way to end the suffering for good.
btw im a guy
expectin trip stories now thnks thnks
>>24350697
Maybe you cant lose your expectatiosn, but you can try to be happy with what you have instead of only thinking about what you dont have.
>>24350714
Hey guys,
wanted to share my FIRST experience with salvia;
So i tried it for the first time when i just started with cannabis, so i didnt really know much about it, but wanted to try it anyway.
I ordered 1 gramm of 40x extract and smoked it in the bong with a friend of mine who was tripsitting me. (extremely digusting taste, like old sausages, prepare something sweet to drink just for the taste)
Since i didnt read up about the dosage you should use i took around what i think 400mg, approximately. (afterwards i found out its a very strong dosage)
>>24350570
Sounds pretty similar with the "trained flight response". Not sure what caused it in my situation, no abuse or religion. I kind of think it may be an innate personality trait.
How old are you now btw?
The older I've gotten the worse it seems to get. I suspect if things worked out when I was younger and more mailable, things would have turned out different. Now that I'm a bit older though, im worried because the situation has only deteriorated.
>>24350730
Was a very intense experience, within 2 seconds after hitting it, i was completely in a different dimension, that was mostly geometrical figures dancing around, bright colours. After a short time i thought i was in the woods, seeing weird figures, and thinking my friend was a naked japanese Deamon (with one of those very big white japanese deamon masks on) that kidnapped me.
Even though that sounds scarry it wasnt at all, i got a laughflash that lasted for about 10 mins, not being able to speak anymore, i signed my friend i want to go from my couch to my bed (around 3m apart), because i thought the bed was a spaceship i've been kidnapped from.
When he asked me if i need help going there, i signed him no. I stood up completely confused and tried to make a single step towards my bed, but failed miserably and instantly hit the ground face forward, that was so funny i got a laughflash for a few minutes, barely able to breath because i was laughing so hard that i was drooling on the floor, nearly drowing in it. (friend watched on me properly so no dangerous situation, just EXTREMLY funny)
After around 3 minutes crawling on my floor i finally managed to get to my bed, laying down there. I immediatly became a colourfull plane flying over a a wide naturfull landscape, the plane i became had serveral different layers, some i could move, some i could not.
Then the effect of the salvia slowly wore of, and after around 1 hour of tripping (that is, unsually long since most salvia experiences take around 5min-20mins) and i was fully back in reality again.
At all this experience was very intense and one of the most beautifull i ever had, even after a few years i still remember it very clearly.
>>24350742
Ever since then salvia became one of my most beloved psychedelics (I've done it around 30 times now), unfortunately where i live it is now illegal and i cant order it anymore, but i can only recommend it to anyone wanting a very intense short lasting trip full of bright colours, geometrical figures and "out of this world" experiences.
NOTE: I've tried it in "correct dosages" too, but it was boring to me since i wanted to have this big long trip completely out of this world, so i would always take way more then recommended.
>>24350714
First day: 150 ug LSD, 300mg MDMA, 1 gram Marijuana, A few beers
Second day and Thrid day: 1,5 gramm speed, and around 120 mg of cocain I didnt sleep 3 days and was high on LSD for like 60 hours, and i can tell the difference from the drug effects so i know it was mostly from the LSD/MDMA combo. SO what im trying to say is I was still able to do everything i could do sober, went shopping groceries, went skateboarding etc. (it just was way more awsome)
Can greentext it if you want ?
>>24350714
>you can try to be happy with what you have instead of only thinking about what you dont have.
good outlook. dono if its possible tho
>>24350730
>>24350742
i see. so the purpose of it seems like fun. nice. maybe i do try sometime just for lulz n giggles huh? thanks for shares buddy. take care
>>24350697
> Be me
> High on LSD
> had a problem with my gf at that time
> Started drawing random stuff on a paper with eyes closed while thinking about the problem
> When finished took the drawing and pinned it to the wall
> Looked at it very long, until suddenly my painting became 3D and i was able to look at the problem "from different angles"
> mfw it actually helped me with my problem
>>24350754
>>24350773
>>24350805
read those too. fun. deffinelty
>>24350831
> Me and 2 of my friends at home one of them female
> Want to party, got loads of drugs, i start taking LSD, my friends start with some MDMA
> Waiting for the shit to kick in, so we open a beer everyone
> 1 hour later, friends already high as fuck dacing in the
> Feel nothing
> 30 mins later still nothing
> Ahh fuck this i need to get high, take a line of MDMA and a big hit from the bong
> 20 mins LSD starts to kick in
> suddenly from the bottom left i feel the MDMA kickin
> itshappening.jpg
> Everyhting kinda blurry, see everything triple
> start dancing to goa with frineds
> start to make out with female friends
> feels amazing
> begin to start melting
> oh no
> melt until im jsut a little puddle in the room while 3 aliens where pointing at me and laughing
> started laughing too bc peer presure
> alien say they help me and reconstruct my body
> suddenly i get back to reality, open my eyes, friends sayed i layed down and started talkign some shit about aliens
> that was fucked up
> take a line of speed to become kidna clear again
> continue dancing until friends are asleep
> Fck im too high i cant sleep
> Stay up alone rest of the night, smoke some weed, drink beer and tripp balls while looking at a white wall
> as soon as friends wake up, start doing drugs again
> party on like this for 3 days
> after 3 days still high from the lsd but not that much anymore
> mfw i went to bed because my friends said i got yellow eyes (liver damage i think?)
> mfw i got swollen balls because the speed was shit
>>24350993
Fun. Be careful with your liver there
>>24350123
Its obviously not a long term solution, but if you want to get people at work off your back, then maybe tell them that you broke up with someone when you moved and that you're still hung up on that so don't want anyone else at the moment?
I'm a grill and have the same problem of being abused and now scared of sex. I want it but then as soon as i'm in the situation i get too scared. I told my only boyfriend (now ex) about it and he said all the shit about we could be patient and wok through it etc, then took advantage of me when i was drunk (idk if i would call it rape exactly, he definitely got me drunk deliberately, then initiated sex which he knew i wouldnt have consented to if sober, so i guess maybe it was). This kind of reinforced the subconcious idea of 'sex is something to be scared of', so im even worse now. And idk young guys never seem like they would be patient or understanding because theres so much emphasis on sex.
I guess i'm not bad looking because people are always surprised that im perma-single, but i just want someone who's nice to me and cares about my feelings
>>24351079
Thanks anon, its been sometime since somebody was interested in me. appreciate it.
>>24351142
Everyone need that, time to time
<3
