Can we get a tard stories thread going? I have some OC to start off:
> Be me
> 4th grade I moved into autism classes for the rest of elementary school.
> Have to ride the short bus and everything.
> Literally nothing productive all day.
> "teacher" spends each day reading chicken soup for the soul and treating everyone like shit. Telling them things like "this is why you belong hear" and such.
> A few days after joining the program we are sitting in the tard room watching the super mario brothers super show.
> Sitting in the back of the room cringing and trying to read my health text book since I thought it was kind of interesting at the time.
> One of the sixth graders walks in, looks at the TV, and screeches like a fucking hawk, and says "WHY DO I HAVE TO WATCH THIS TRASH! I HATE THIS"
> All the tard wranglers swarm him and carry him by all 4 of his limbs into the Focus Room
> Focus room is literally a closet that locks from the outside with padding on the walls and floor.
> Watch as a 12 year old boy flails and makes raptor noises while trying to bite people in a desperate attempt to go free.
> Can literally hear his teeth snapping.
> Try my hardest to hold back laughter.
> Mfw I learn this person is the least autistic out of all the other people in the class.
____
> A few days later I finally try socializing.
> Spend most of my time during the day feeling really sad because I had to leave behind all my friends at my old school, didn't pay much attention to what went on.
> Figure I should try to make the best of a shitty situation.
> Walk over to this kid named David and see he is drawing a picture.
> I say "Hey, that looks pretty neat."
> He violently turns towards me and screams "I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION" with spit splattering onto my face, then turns back and continues.
> Whelp
> Mfw I realize this was only the beginning.
>>24344222
more?
this is an original comment i swear
thats nice, can i have my uncryptic money now
This one is less of a tard story and more of a story about my experience in the class:
> In 5th grade now and have managed to convince the wranglers to finally let me participate in normal classes.
> Still horrible despite this. The regular students treat me like I have a disease.
> Zero tolerance whatsoever.
> The day after I join the mainstream they remove me from normal classes for the day because one of the wranglers saw me wet my hands in the water fountain after lunch.
> About a month later I show up to school with a bad stomach ache.
> I ignore it at first but it starts getting unbearable.
> Sitting in the nurses office with the tard wrangler standing over me, I experience easily the worst stomach pain I've ever had in my entire life.
> I feel so week that I can't even get up.
> The tard wrangler tells me I've been in here long enough and that I'm not going home.
> Insist that I call home, says that I don't have a temperature so I'm fine.
> pulls me out of the bad and I immediately collapse.
> Eventually I manage to stand up and start slowly walking towards the tard room where I was apparently going to be confined to the focus room for acting up.
> Finally start feeling my breakfast coming back up.
> Aim directly at the wrangler and throw up eggs and a fuck ton of milk all over her.
> Walk back to the nurses office and call my dad.
> Start bawling asking him to come get me from school.
> Pass out in the car and wake up in a wheel chair at the hospital with an IV in my arm.
Next one will be about an autistic girl with a stuffed dog.
>>24344331
>Pass out in the car and wake up in a wheel chair at the hospital with an IV in my arm.
what was wrong with you?
>>24344222
>"this is why you belong hear"
>hear
fucking retard
>>24344331
> Girl named Alexis joins the class in the middle of 5th grade. I think she was in my grade.
> Brings a stuffed dog named Ike. The one from the childrens book.
> Literally brown, this kid clearly loved this dog and brought it everywhere.
> One day I'm sitting at my desk playing a game I made using a 64 pack of crayons.
> Hear a kid named Elijah say ike is stupid.
> Hear her shriek at him and start hitting him with the dog while she barks at him and tries to bite him.
> The dogs neck rips and she stops and starts trying to scratch Elijah.
> Lose my shit laughing at this ridiculous encounter. Elijah was by far the most consistently annoying person in the class.
> He is literally getting his ass kicked by a 4 foot little girl with a stuffed dog.
> I hear one of the tard wranglers in the office talking to who I thought was the girls mom/dad.
> Not even close, she called Elijah's parents and told them that he instigated a fight.
> Mfw I actually start feeling bad for the guy.
>>24344414
Apparently I was seriously dehydrated and through up as a result of something I ate that morning.
The IV was water. I was only out for a few hours, they may have just been being trying to take extra precautions. Not really sure honestly, but it was still pretty scary.
Here is just a short one:
> The wranglers award us points for being good, they carry a clip board around with them and award us points based on our behavior from 1-10 each class period.
> The "Store" they have is actually pretty dank, but all I wanted was pokemon yellow.
> Yes, they had fucking pokemon yellow. Apparently one of the wranglers kids donated it.
> Spend all year saving up for that shit.
> The day finally comes.
> We all take turns going in, and I got to go second that day.
> Walk in, pokemon yellow is nowhere to be found.
> Ask what happened to it, the wrangler tells me Elijah bought it.
> Sort of mad, but his family is poor as fuck so I wasn't too upset about it.
> See him on the bus on the ride home from school losing his shit trying to put the cartridge of pokemon yellow into a nintendo DS.
> my fucking sides.
>be in 2nd grade
>some tard is allowed to be in the normal classes
>this kid smells like shit all the time
>I had the pleasure of sitting next to him since the class was arranged alphabetically
>People dont want to be my friend because I sit next to the shit tard
>I go to the bathroom
>the shitard comes in
>without his wrangler
>uhh what the fuck is this safe
>takes off his pants all the way
>pees in the general direction of the urinal
>I take a peek at his pants because who the fuck does this
>UNDERWEAR IS LITERALLY OVERFLOWING WITH SHIT
>completely brown
>they were originally white if I assume correctly from the few streaks of white on them
>the smell hits me
>ran out of bathroom gagging
>tard wrangler is looking around
>sees me and he figures that from my reaction, I was just near the tard
>smell of shit has permeated my clothes, spend the whole day smelling like shit even when away from him
>>24344222
>elementary school
>in before/afterschool care program because my parents are businesskeks who I barely see
>There is this gorilla sized 5th grader named DJ >very retarded
>Every morning and afternoon the program gives us breakfast and afternoon snack.
>DJ only wants to eat pop tarts and throws scary apefits if he doesn't get pop tarts.
>one morning they are out of pop tarts
>holyfuckno.jpg
>DJ starts screaming so hard my ears bleed
>teachers look high and low for anything that can pass as a pop tart
>finally teacher finds pop tart in the backroom
>gives it to DJ, I can actually see the blood leave his face when he calmed down
>everyone watches to see if DJ is happy with the poptarts
>he opens the pop tards and begins to scream again, the walls are shaking and I fear for my life
>it was a healthy version without the frosting on top
>DJ can not handle reality anymore and walks over to the chalkboard
>draws a giant circle and screams "I'M GOING TO CHALKZONE THEY HAVE THE TARTS"
>backs up and runs full speed into chalkboard and breaks it and his shoulder
>they call an ambulance and everything
that is hands down the hardest I ever laughed my entire life
>>24344561
>tards are so stupid they can't even hydrate
Shaking my head nigga
>>24344725
> See him on the bus on the ride home from school losing his shit trying to put the cartridge of pokemon yellow into a nintendo DS.
I feel bad for laughing.
>>24344856
If this isn't copypasta, it's going to be.
more stories OP? you remind me of the protag of katawa shoujo, except instead of a heart problem you are retarded...did you fuck any retarded girls?
This isn't really that funny of a story, but there was a point where they locked me in the focus room,
It felt really shitty, I kind of felt bad for the other kids to a certain extent. I mean, a lot of them needed to be restrained, but even so it still made you feel like an animal in a cage. They fucking watch you through the glass window in the door too.
I never struggled either, I've always had a very passive attitude about things like this, even when I was in elementary school. They just grabbed me and pulled me in there.
There was a speaker in our class(the normal class) and they told all the students to do their best "Spy pose." Naturally, I participated and had fun with it. I don't remember why exactly the speaker had us do this, but I think it had something to do with being imaginative.
Anyway, I put my hands in the shape of a gun and pointed it at random things in the room before flicking my hand up and backwards to simulate recoil of a hand gun. In my mind, I was imagining myself as will smith from men in black.
When the wrangler saw this she immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me out of class. When I got to the tard room, the wrangler told the head honcho that I was threatening to shoot someone who came in to the class to talk to the students.
She looked at me and rolled her eyes then grabbed me by my shirt before shoving me into the focus room.
I sat there for about 15 minutes quietly contemplating a way to use this incident as leverage to be removed from the class entirely. Unfortunately, that never happened. Most of the time they dismissed what I said as simply an a cry for attention.
To this day that entire situation doesn't make sense to me. It was so weird, it wasn't really that bad or anything it was just weird.
>public schooling
Reddit is going to screen cap this post anti social pics
>>24345074
The alexis chick was actually really hot. She was also the only girl in the program. Also, I was in elementary school, I didn't even know what a boner was until half way through 6th grade.
>>24345074
I'll see what I can come up with.
>>24344856
Fuckin' saved.
>>24344222
>"this is why you belong hear"
couldn't agree more with your teacher
>>24344222
that kid is not autistic
he's just fed up with authority
at another time, he'd be a warlord
>at wrestling meet
>some kid in the ring gets slammed and knocked unconcious
>retard next to me stares at me and asks "Is he sleeping?"
>instantly run into the bathroom and laugh like a girl
>same retard
>after every match he has which only last about a 1 minute he chugs two bottles of gatorade and falls alseep
OP here; I don't have a lot of longer stories to share.
A lot of little things here and there, and a lot of people screaming like raptors while throwing a temper tantrum like in the first story.
I distinctly remember walking in and sitting down one day and seeing elijah in the middle of the room getting on the floor and rolling around then stand up and going into kung fu positions. I remember asking him what he was doing, and his response was "I'm Air bending!"
The Alexis girl had a tendency to bark and growl at a lot of people. She also purred for some reason. She was for some reason under the impression that Ike was a cat dog hybrid and that was why she purred.
David really didn't do anything interesting besides bitch slap people. It was fucking hilarious when he did it too, he was a major dick though so I never really tried talking to him. He went to the focus room at least twice a week.
There was a guy named Colin who didn't do much besides swear a lot. But what was funny about him was that every time he did, the wranglers would call his mom and tell her. He also was a regular visitor of the Focus room. He would curl up into a ball and start screaming occasionally and when they dragged him in he just screamed louder.
The person who screamed in my first stories name was Shane. He was a good guy actually, I think 4 years of being in the class just got to him, I never saw him act like that again after that. I met him again when he was a senior in highschool and he had come a long way.
There was 2 people named John in the class. There was fat John and tall John. Fat john didn't do anything, he was lazy as fuck and thats all I remember about him. Tall john was a fucking jew though, that bastard kept trying to guilt me into giving him my enormous collection of K-nects. He was quiet in highschool, never talked to him after he left.
>go to community college with koi pond in the middle
>some weird 8/10 girl is sticking her finger in the water
>a fish bites
>she puts her finger in her mouth
>>24345497
It's like a sitcom tbqph
Alexis sounds like marriage material
>tfw no crazy girl to treat like a dog or cat (depending on preference)
>>24344414
IV in my vein to feel less it's pain
Can you strip away the mistery of the world
I'll let it suffer for it's lie
Till the shape of the shadow fades,
forever fade away
>>24344725
>good pupil point system in school
that shit still exists?
>>24344856
did DJ kinda look like terrence howard? or eazy E?
>>24345629
These sound like stories from quite some time ago, but rewarding good behavior is never bad idea, regardless of the era.
>>24344222
How did you get moved into the tard class, OP?
Oh wow, I totally forgot about someone.
There was a guy named Scott who was bald. I don't remember a lot about him except that he was obsessed with family guy and constantly quoted it. I remember he had a few tantrums here and there, but never anything significant. No biting or anything like that, just normal struggling.
Its weird typing all this out, I am remembering a lot of stuff I totally forgot about.
More than anything though, the thing I remember most wasn't the students. Most of the time, the kids weren't that bad. It was only about twice a week some shit would go down, and it never involved me so I didn't mind getting to watch them make fools of themselves.
The thing I remember the most though was the way the wranglers treated the students. Most of the kids weren't THAT bad, the program was mostly for children with serious ADHD, aspergers, and anger problems. Despite this, they sort of treated all the kids like they were wild animals, even when they were being good.
It might be hard to imagine, but having someone standing over you for 6 hours every day with a clipboard writing down every little thing you do is really kind of messed up. I wish I could be more detailed, but I honestly don't remember it that well. Its been over a decade since then.
>>24345709
Are you guys governmental special strength experiments?
>Be me in 5th grade
>Kid named Corey had some serious emotional issues.
>School is too small for tard class
>Corey would usually just freak out and start wailing about random shit
>Corey gets a really hot wrangler, easily a 9/10 with her huge tits
>tmw when he freaks out and his wrangler gives him a hug and he rests his head on her tits and looks at the rest of us and smiles.
>>24345668
I was sort of an attention whore.
I did a lot of weird stuff as a kid. When we had recess, I would take off my shirt occasionally and spin it around just to be funny. Another time I pissed on a tree outside during recess and got in trouble for that.
I tried really hard to be funny and stand out. Nothing has changed either, I love attention and I love standing out, except now its progressive and gets me money.
>>24345912
>when he freaks out and his wrangler gives him a hug and he rests his head on her tits and looks at the rest of us and smiles.
Damn it, do we stand for equality or what?
>>24345926
what do you do OP?
>>24344222
Wait so why did they put you in the tard class? Did you just not care or were you actually autistic?
>>24346173
>>24345926
Woops, didnt see this.
this is from the psych ward, I was 17
>Dominic, 15, is on the autism spectrum and was bullied to the point of bringing a duffel bag full of guns to school, although he was caught before he could be WITNESSED
>DJ, 15, is a large boy who looks like Eazy E but talks like Mike Tyson, Anger Issues. He lied a lot (30+ girls banged, "Malibu Crip," sponsored skateboarder, etc)
>DJ really believed himself to be the king of the ward since he would flirt shamelessly with anything with a vagina (including the girls in the much younger group) and he got a bunch of extra privileges so that he doesn't flip out and break shit (he broke a lot more furniture than jaws before I got there, apparently)
>He also makes fun of Dominic for "being a virgin"
>Dominic complains about this but the staff doesn't do anything
>one day we're in a group therapy session and Dominic talks about his Homicidal Ideations and how he's sick of people telling him he can't kill anyone here because he definitely could if he wanted to, easily. people should be scared of him, he says
>I tell him that that shouldn't even matter to him because he should be trying to not think like that. and I tell him that people aren't scared, not because he's weak (he is) but because of the facility
>DJ says "yeah, you heard anon, nobody's scared of you because you look like a nerd. stop trying to intimidate people"
>Dominic and I just look at each other and then Dominic says "and another thing. I'm sick and tired of hearing about streetfights in fucking Malibu. If you're from Malibu, you're a pussy, and that's it."
>DJ is triggered and stands up, but then it looks like he's gonna walk out of the room
>nope, he picks up a folding chair and chucks it, it got closer to me than Dom but it actually just KOs a girl who had been raped lmao
pic related is this 16 year old girl who had tried to hang herself, she was really obnoxious with her crush on me
I've got more stories if you're interested
>>24345465
>at wrestling tournament
>kid from another team asks me an innocent question about the schedule or something
>look at him and pretend to be deaf, point to my ear
>he looks remorseful and awkward, says sorry and I just smile at him good naturedly
PRACTICAL
J
O
K
E
S
>>24344856
This one takes the cake for me.
>>24346352
please go for it senpai
>>24346352
moarrrr
and more semen demon pics please.
>>24346729
go for that girl? she lives really far away from me, but she friended me on fb and then flipped at me for ignoring her messages so I unfriended her
>she and I checked in on the same day
>she flirts with me and this kid Colton, he was funny as hell but spent most of his time in his room (had taken way too much LSD)
>he's too weird for her so she focuses her attention on me, and like I said it eventually gets annoying, she's not my type either
>on her checkout day I was playing mario kart with Colton, she comes in for a goodbye but we just say "goodbye" without even standing up
>I remember seeing her kneeling in front of the cabinet where we all kept our toiletries packing up her stuff
>the next day my deodorant is gone
bitch stole my arctic ice and I haven't even found that specific scent again. even my sister admits I smell sexy
>>24344486
There has to be a reason he was in the tard class
>>24344856
i feel bad for laughing at this...but man thats funny
>>24345134
Man thats fucked up. What the hell is even a "spy pose" anyway? And they really blame a young kid for posing as a secrent agent dude with a gun? Sounds like fucked up staff to me.
Reminds me of an incident at my school. One day we went to an assembly and the teacher called out "So how's everyone today?" and we all replied back "good!" Then she has a look of shock and goes "how rude!". Our class was marched out the assembly and our teachers yelled at us and told us how rude we were
I still dont know what the fuck happened
>>24344725
>5th grade
>Nintendo DS
LITERALLY underaged
>>24346802
her name is Claire Rivers on facebook
>pic is the girl whose personality I liked the most
>16 year old anorexic runaway who alternated between hating her mom and hating her dad, really emotionally withdrawn
>was there for four weeks before I got there, all four weeks that I was there, and more after I left, then off to a school for anorexics I think
>I wasn't physically attracted to her either but I kissed her on my checkout day because I knew I was the only one she liked as a friend, maybe even more, and she was sad she had never been kissed
>I just stole it and made sure that Amy didn't get in trouble, then I walked out
>>24344856
>>24344856
Couldn't help myself
>>24346848
I was in a psych ward too and these stories are making me nostalgic.
There's something romantic about being in a place like that, isn't there? You're in this little bubble, totally safe and yet old enough to be aware of everything thats happening
>>24344856
>I'M GOING TO CHALKZONE THEY HAVE THE TARTS
top fucking kek, anon
>>24347100
yeah but my NEET habits were enforced by that place, there was very little treatment, a lot of sleep and nothing to do and I wasn't even allowed outside because I escaped on day 4 and almost got away
>>24346848
But just think, anon, she went home and breathed in the scent of your deodorant and thought of you. Every time.
>>24347047
I've had some pretty serious head trauma recently, but I'm 18 and I'm pretty sure some kid had the original big thick kind of DS when I was in grade 4, but I'm probably wrong.
>>24344831
OP please continue I don't even care if its real its entertaining.
>>24346352
A lot of special snowflakes in LA.
>>24344222
>> He violently turns towards me and screams "I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION" with spit splattering onto my face, then turns back and continues.
Well why the fuck didn't you kill him? Jam a pair of scissors into the back of his neck or something?
All these vulnerable and emotional people in these psychwards. I bet there's a ton of sexual tension.
>>24346460
every wrestler is a huge asshole
>>24347678
Sometimes but they have pretty strict regulations to keep that from happening.
> Be me
> Be in 6th grade
> Go to after school care
> tard name Nick
> Can't communicate, just runs around and makes bird noises like"EEEEEE!"
> Spent three years in elementary school with this kid already
> Mfw I've had to hear him scream EEEEEE every single day
> Everybody remembers when cicadas came, right?
> Nick grabbed a live cicada with his hands and yelled EEEEEE while holding the cicada up like an olympic trophy
> Mfw he put the live cicada in his mouth
> Mfw there are no tard wranglers, only teachers
> Teachers immediately run over, telling him to spit it out
> He just swallows it with the strangest look on his face
> Rest of the year he stopped making the EEEE sound
> Mfw
>>24344222
Nice trips and quality thread. I don't mean this in a facetious way, this is the type of funny shit you would find on here circa 2012.
>>24347047
Grade 5 is around 10, the DS came out in 2004~. He could easily be 18-21.
>>24347811
>huge asshole
fight me, you pussy nerd
>>24347589
nobody mentioned was from LA, nor am I
Ahhh, this is the classical R9k I know and love.
My bus ride to school in middleschool was a pretty long walk. My mom found out that there was a closer bus I could take
>it was a short bus
So I got to ride the short bus one day. I'll just list whatever comes to mind from that ride
>I share the bus stop with some moderately weird cute neighbor girl
>I didn't know that she was weird enough to ride the short bus
>feel bad for her
>the short bus has seatbelts
>There were these extremely pale blonde twin boys
>One is super skinny, one is super fat
>They never speak, but they have this weird game they play with each other
>They just wiggle their fingers together and make squeaky noises
>One kid was just overly polite and just seemed strange
>Exasperatedly thanks the bus driver for picking him up
>Asks the bus driver if this is his bus once he steps on, thanking her after every sentence
>Sighs heavy relief, then thanks the bus driver with all of his might
>nobody talked during the rest of the ride
I never rode the short bus again. The neighborhood friends that saw me take the short bus legit thought I was retarded for a while. Only learned this when they saw me walking back from the direction of my old bus stop, and they thought I just took a long fucking walk after getting off the short bus. I don't blame them, I was a fucking weirdo in middleschool.
>>24344222
Hey I agree with you on how the SpEd kids are treated like animals..
I used to ride the short bus junior year of highschool which was social suicide.
>Anyways there was this kid I think his name was Tyree who said he could beat me up but never did anything.
>Oh yea also these kids are in middle school
>Another kid would call me his big brother and try to talk to me. I would Ignore his shit
>The worst was this girl who, would just shit and cry if provoked.
>The kids thought it was funny to provoke her and make the bus smell like shit everytime.
>After two days I decided to stop their shenanigans
>The next day declare I will beat up anyone who bothers her.
>Kids don't do shit because I'm twice their size.
>Girl is happy and cries tears of joy but doesn't shit
>I am now the king of this short bus
Man highschool was hell for me once people found out I rode the short bus. At first no one knew but one day all the students were outside for an event and they saw. My crush treated me like a retard afterwards
>>24348766
I wasn't even in special ed but since everyone thought I was or at least belonged there they would treat me like shit. You'd think being in honors and AP courses would change their minds but NOPE "that retard doesn't belong there" or "those aren't really smart people classes if he's in them."
>>24344511
>literally brown
What does this mean?
>>24344856
Fuck man I miss Chalkzone.
>>24347553
>DS being around while in grade school
Oh god...am I old?
>>24344222
Why did you get put in thr 'tism class?
>>24348827
Omg this, also people acting like they're doing you a favor by pitying you.
>>24348959
Iktfb, iktf all too well
>>24348959
>tfw getting older
>>24344222
>be me, currently
>work at shitty restaurant in city
>manager uses five 20 - 30 year old tards from some local program to work in dishroom
>one of them is a mexican girl who looks a couple years older than me
>always gives me a really flirtatious smile when she sees me
>her whole face lights up, looks like she genuinely appreciates it that i'm there
Highlight of my shift desu
>the tards are probably better employees than the non-tards who work there
>>24347047
Had mine when I was in 5th grade and I'm 19, check yourself grandpa.
