>go to cinema
>showers are broken
>mfw
>showers at the movies
uw0tm8?
>when you forget to bring your falcon so you have to rent one of the loaner ones that always smell like old butter
Ruins every cinema experience
>>24339176
XXX cinema+ bath house. My uncle runs one.
What do you guys put on your crab legs at the flickosseum?
>try to sneak home prepared crab legs into a midnight showing of spectre
>unbeknownst to me, the cinema hired contraband sniffing guard dogs
>trying to make sure the patrons spend their money on the overpriced home grown motion picture prawns at the concessions
>the dogs catch me and maul me
>banned for life
fuck the cinema
>>24339275
Just hide them in your girlfriend next time. Dogs'll never sniff them out.
You do have a girlfriend, right?
>go to school
>it's penis inspection day
>>24339315
Why bother with a girlfriend when you can just stick it up your own arse?
>>24339358
No seafoodesque smell to mask the crablegs smell.
>>24339227
I've been trying ranch on them lately though it pisses me off that random people always keep up using all the ranch from the theater fridge without brining some of their own.
>>24339275
I'm glad that my cinema legit stopped caring if you bring outside food
>>24339225
That is literally only for gay guys
>>24340562
>he doesn't know that OP is always a faggot
laughingwomen.jpg.gif
>That one asshole who trained his falcon to grab peoples' popcorn
And the theater's falconry officer associate just turns a blind eye, he must be paid off
>go to movie theater
>no singles policy
i fucking hate normies
>>24339159
>>24339340
>>24340682
>>24340642
>go to cinema
>no singles policy
>they have to perform penis inspection on me to confirm im not a rapist before letting me out
>some dude's falcon steals my dick
>falconry officer associate laughed
>they let me out since im a trans woman now
>i decide ill sneak around the back to watch the movie
>get in trough the showers back door
>finally get to the movie screening
>its TDKR
>get shot
fucking normies
Wow what a wacky thread
You guys are so random XD
Explain this thread to me, are you all just communicating solely through memes that I don't know of know
>go to moving-picture auditorium to watch shrek
>It aint me starts playing
>mfw the theatre didnt even have complimentary fingerboxes
>>24340951
>1915
>doesn't know about the falcon policy
>go to britain on vacation
>go to see harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2 at the london premiere by myself
>sit in the back so I don't have to be near anyone
>the whole place fills up and I'm surrounded by chavs and their horrible screeching girlfriends
>try not to make eye contact but one of them notices me
>try to pull my trenchcoat up over myself so he can't see me
>spaghetti falls out of my pocket
>he starts laughing
>OI WHAT IS THIS SHITE, YOU DAFFY TWAT? GLOBBER ROPES? WHO BRINGS GLOBBER ROPES TO THE GIANT TELLY NELLY? SOMETHING BLOODY WRONG WITH YOU INNIT?
>slaps my face
>his friends are laughing and the girls are laughing and throwing things at me
>bend down to try to scoop up the spaghetti with my hands
>one of them kicks me in the face
>lose consciousness
>wake up at 3:20am in the theater bleeding from my ears
>clothes are totally wet and stink
>they spilled afternoon tea on my cape while I was unconscious
>go to the cinema
>the last guy didn't flush the in-seat toilet
>go to cinema
>nobody else claps after the movie
>go to the library
>remember it's turtle Tuesday
>mfw
Only fucking normies go to the movies nowadays, at least in my area because of that no singles policy
>>24340833
>>go to cinema
>>no singles policy
Just as well.
>>24340983
I really liked your post.
10/10
made me lol.
>go to cinema
>that kid runs like naruto during the whole movie
>mfw he ended up getting glitch stuck between the chairs
>the cinema amdin decided to no clip him to get him off
>he forgot to toggle flight tho
kid is probably still falling trough the map as of today kek
What do you guys do if you have to go to the toilet but forgot your bathroom license?
Usually I'll try to find a quiet place in the sand dunes to relieve myself. I've trained my falcon to bury the mess in the sand and so far I haven't been stopped by one of the ushers or tower guards yet
>>24341024
sorry bro you needs dubs or more to get in cinema.
You aint getting in with that single
>>24339176
it's the hottest new /tv/ meme
>>24341097
dude don't do that
>need to shit
>left my cis scum licence and bathroom licence
>panic
>took a shit in a alley
>put the poo in plastic bag
>had my falcon hide it somewhere
>Social justice patrol sees me without my cis scum licence and my bathroom licence.
>they also mention im in a no singles district
>sentenced to death
this is my last post before im executed, the guards think im in tumblr apologising, but im using incognito mode.
>>24339159
>go to cinema
>cafeteria is closed again
>decide to just get one of their pizzas instead from the vending machines
>it's very undercooked
>too beta to say anything
FUCK
>>24341312
What kind of shitty cinema do you go to where they don't even serve fresh sea food?
>go to cinema
>cashier looks terrified when she gives me my ticket
>security refuses to let me in and show me a sign that says "no singles allowed"
>buff black guy in a suit follows me in the distance when returning to my car
>>24340951
It's one of those threads where people come up with random shit pretending like it's commonplace and they're all aware of their stupid fabrications for a few laughs at your expense.
>>24341444
I know that feel. the other day sat down on the threater chowing down on some delicious chilean sea-bass, or as some like to call it "chili and sea bass" some plebs in the row below me actually had nachos hahaahah
>apply for falconry visa year in advance in anticipation for hot new flicks
>apparently my registration failed and I have to wait at least 4 more months
I AM MISSING SPECTRE
>>24342198
Dude if you wear a professional falconry glove and your falcon is well-trained then chances are the inspectors won't even notice if you don't have a visa/license.
Distract them with some flashy falcon tricks, don't act suspicious in the showers and you're good to go. Just make sure not to go to near to the loner falcons since that can end up in fights which will draw attention to you.
I used to post on wizardchan and the people there thought the no singles policy was real, they were trading advice on how to pretend to be on a date
>>24342396
>implying the no singles policy isnt real
lucky you your theater hasnt implemented it
>>24342396
Why is thsi cat so angry? lol And his whiskers are like super straight.
>in the concession lineup
>the spotlight shines on you
>try to take an uber cab to the kino
>cab driver tells me i can't bring my falcon replica disguise NOT a fursuit -_- with me because it wont fit in his 1985 honda civic
>ask him if he wants to come with me if i pay for his ticket+tip to get around the no singles policy
>he changes his mind when i accidentally call him mum
>have to skip to the kino instead and by the time i get there they stop serving breakfast
>combat roll through ticket booth in my falcon disguise
>cant find the theater thats playing toy story 2 because they're all labeled in roman numerals
>enter a room still showing a pre screening and have to settle for interstellar instead when the door locks behind me
>it aint me starts playing so loud i trip on my cape and one of the pallbearers spills hot butter inside my falcon disguise
>>entschuldigung~
>you too
>shit my pants a little bit when i fell but i dont think anyone can smell it
>movie is interrupted by the muslim call to prayer
>reach into trenchcoat to quickly download quran.pdf on my kindle so i dont get arrested
>audience thinks its a nintendo ds and starts laughing at me
>rush for the emergency exit
>theater shooter locked the doors
>the idiot must be a new guy cause he ends up killing almost everyone in the building instead of just a few people to make the flick more kinematic
>parkour through the garbage chute
>trenchcoat gets ruined
>have to go to baby gap to pick up a new one
>they dont sell trenchcoats for manlets
>have to buy a columbia raincoat instead
>so tired i forgot to pay tip
>off duty LGBT hate crime patrolwomyn arrests me on the spot
>spend the night in jail before mommy posts bail + a very generous tip
just got home and i still smell like shit and this gay coat is stuck to my feathers (pic related), should i call the fire department to cut me out, /r9k/?
>about to enter theater
>see a cardboard standup in front of door
>"you must be this tall to enter" and the finger is pointing at the 6'0 mark
>big black guard is standing beside it with a baton, he smirks at me
>my eyes water and I run away
>try to get refund by the qt working the cash register laughs at me
jdimsa
>>24339159
>2014
>Be me
>go to see pacific rim
>projector runs wrong wreel
>some fagg in a lab-coat on the screen
>parents and kids gleefully jump out of their seats
>what is happening
>all the kids start chanting "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY"
>everyone is clapping
>"BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL"
>get up and leave
I fucking hate this place
>>24339159
>go to live theater
>random privilege inspection
>inspector is oppressed Muslim
>rightfully collects my privilege
>bleed out thankful to contribute to Unified Multicultural Europe
>go to cinema
>line up at the smorgasboard+ticket line
>want to see The Martian
>its ticket is above the fried wontons, fucking jackpot I love that shit
>obese bitch cuts in front of me, takes every last wonton
>none left
>she took every last one
>there were like 15 of them and she already had stuff on her plate
>not allowed to purchase ticket now, the reel won't move because I'm not buying wontons
>she didn't even grab a ticket
>had to go see The Intern
At least the aisle bidet worked.
>Falconry officer
>Flickosseum
>Contraband crab legs
>motion picture prawns
This thread is too much.
>go to movies
>fuck yeah, they have a box of fresh doilies
>not the cheap ones either
>buy prawns, grab doily
>go to see movie
>mfw falcon takes my doily
>goddamn falconry officer with a smug expression
>i look next to him
>big ass pile of doilies
>fuck normies
