>desperately want to ask a girl out
>realy think that I have a chance
>plan out how I'm going to do it
>remember that literally anything can be a rape accusation and you'll be assumed guilty
>remember that all women cheat and compulsively lie
>remember that all she has to do is bruise herself and tell police I did it to ruin me forever
>remember all the legal avenues she would have to destroy every aspect of my life
>tfw living with conflicting feelings of romantic desire and self preservation
>tfw mom keeps pressuring me to get a gf
>>24334298
>ex threw herself down the stairs then called the police
>tfw she gets arrested
You'll be fine. The secret to winning in those situations is remaining calm. Just ask her out, OP.
>>24334298
tell your mom you can't because all women cheat and compulsively lie, all they have to do is bruise themselves and tell the police to ruin you forever, and she has all the legal avenues to destroy every aspect of your life.
>>24334335
What happened exactly? How did she get arrested?
>>24334358
I did, and she just said I was wrong. My mom is from another country in a different era where that sort of thing just wasn't on the radar, I don't think she's aware of how things work now.
>>24334298
You've been browsing /b/ for way too long my friend. If you sincerely believe the majority of women will do this.
>>24334335
Kek
Green text that shit
You don't need a girlfriend. All you need as a rag, chloroform and some initiative.
Just get the sex without the headache, you know?
>>24334435
Bad idea, far too much risk for too little reward
Even if you manage to do it once, you can't do it regularly
Get a dog instead
>>24334393
>implying you aren't a woman looking for beta bux
>>24334529
>you can't do it regularly
Top kek, m8.
If you live in a metropolitan area you can do it monthly, in separated locations.
>Get a dog instead
Dogs are great, but not for fucking.
>>24334298
let go. stop trying. stop hoping everything will be better in the future.
there's no miracles in real life
there's no future
>>24334765
>If you live in a metropolitan area you can do it monthly, in separated locations.
Still risky as fuck, and gets riskier as time goes on
Not to mention it requires going outside and there's no love involved, if OP happens to want that sort of thing
>Dogs are great, but not for fucking.
Says someone who has clearly never fucked a dog
>>24334362
>>24334423
>be me
>be 22
>randomly wake up in middle of night
>decide to get some food for myself and chubby (ex-)gf
>get dressed and start walking to store
>get food then head back
>walk into bedroom
>immediately get hit with folding chair (no idea where it came from)
>hotdogs go flying out of the bag everywhere
>condiments fucking everywhere
>she accuses me of cheating on her
>she holds up my phone to my face while I'm incapacitated on the ground
>only see the lock screen
>"wtf is this anon?! are you hiding shit now?!"
>"did you hit me over a lock screen??"
>she starts going ballistic
>runs down the hallway to top of stairs
>"YOU ARE SO FUCKED"
>still laying on floor in the door way just looking at her down the hallway
>roommates come out of their rooms to see what's good
>she jumps head first
>ohshitwhatareyoudoingnigger.jpg
>everyone gasps
>hear tumbling then a final thud
>crying starts
>get up and run down the stairs
>shes fumbling with my (now cracked) phone and calls 911
>trying to get her to stop crying
>everyone at the top of the stairs is confused as fuck
>cops show up
>"HE THREW ME DOWN THE STAIRS"
>DontTazeMeBro.exe
>look at the two officers dead in the eyes like "this is it. this is where it ends."
>roommates burst into the conversation while ex is going hysterical
>"Officers, she threw herself down the stairs."
>cops look at each other then back at my ketchup and mustard covered face / hair
>"Is this true?"
>just nod while she's screaming in my ear still going crazy
>they go to grab her
>"DONT TOUCH ME PERVERTS"
>they restrain her on the ground and cuff her
>drag her out of the house while she's screaming like fuck
>everyone just looks at each other like "..."
>we burst into laughter
I broke up with her through her mom. She got served with resisting arrest and assault.
>>24334841
>Says someone who has clearly never fucked a dog
Who'd fuck a dog? That's worse than rape.
Rape is at least done with another human, the dog doesn't even understand what's happening, the poor creature.
It's beyond evil and only psychopaths take joy in fucking animals.
>>24335133
Psychopathy is the ultimate aspiration for many on this board.
>>24335133
>dogs don't understand sex, even though they do it themselves
>>24335165
>aspiring to be something you can only be born as
ishygddt tbchwy desu famiglia senpai
>>24335126
BUTdid she pay for your phone
>>24335304No. I supported her ass.
>>24334298
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was too low in content
>>24335126
What was your lock screen bro?
>>24335823
Cmetaha cat
>>24335212
Someone doesn't know the difference between primary and secondary psychopathy.
>>24336010
>meme psychology
You dig deep on those wikipedia pages, onii-san.
>>24335942
It just required a passcode. I didn't do anything wrong. I had a lot of people always shuffling through my house at that time (roommates' friends, etc). If it got stolen, I figured I'd make it a little harder for someone to be able to use it.
>>24335126
You only escaped because you had witnesses, that's not something you can count on.
