Old Nokia phones are indestructible haha
Dude Netflix and chill lmao
Apple products are the best XD LMFAO
9/11 was an inside job LMAO BAKA
Women are sluts lololol
Hey dad I'm dad
>>24310114
That is not a fucking joke. I used one as a hammer once. Also we used to play a game of "Who throws their phone highest in the air" when we were kids and everyone had them.
Regards Finnish robot.
The cake is a lie!!! = D I'm such a nerd
Fuck her right in the pussy! XDD
>>24310251
As a portal fan who played both games countless times, even discovering new glitches, i get mad when normies spout "the cake is a lie" without even understanding what it's about, or without even playing the game.
Absolutely disgusting
REAL NIGGA HOURS LOL
N-not all Muslims
420 blaze it xD
Weed cures cancer and the government is trying to cover up its beneficial effects
when you bout to nut but she still suckin
>>24311570
Very subtle.
Stepping on LEGO is the most painful thing ever because I have not experienced any real pain in my privileged life.
>be me at work
>Subway
>manager is old witch-like hillbilly crone who cackles at her own jokes
>we are busy
>"Darlin I feel like I am running a race and I am losing LOL"
>every day
>also every day, when she is leaving: "Alright hon, don't work too hard LOL"
>others:
>"Well we are busy but that's not a bad thing, it makes the time go"
>tfw it makes the time go
>"Workin hard or hardly workin LOL"
>tfw people still say this
>"You again, don't they ever give you a day off? LOL"
>mfw
>>24311849
http://thereycenter.org/uploads/3/4/3/2/3432754/thecatbirdseat_thurber.pdf
>>24311849
>working hard or hardly working
Definitely one of the worst ones along with "well it's free then, right"
>>24311884
as a /lit/izen as well as a robot, that was awesome
Hey guys,
Knock knock.
>>24312631
No soliciting
check out this john oliver video he's so funny and right at the same time
>>24310114
>work at normie clothes store
>theres a fucking gym upstairs
>stomping around, throwing weights and shit
>constantly sounds like armaggedon
>customer asks what it is so i explain
"Haha wow I would kill myself if i worked here."
every, fucking, day lads
Check out this rare pepe guys, it's quite dank :D
>>24310114
but that isn't even a joke, they were probably the most robustly built piece of electronics in recent history that people actually used.
it goes like this :
RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
every single time when I go into the shipping yard to get materials for work:
>Dont work too hard XD
like fuck you Im a roofer I dont have a choice. I also dont want to hear about how busy it is there, just give me my ticket and deal with the next customer, I'm really fine with waiting and can see that its busy. I dont care. I'm paid by the hour, take as long as you like
>>24310114
I hate when people joke that a Nokia phone has properties of a very hard material when its ability to flex is what made it durable.
DUDE
BACON
LMAO
The concept of dank memes. Any "ironic" satire is indistinguishable and interchangeable from the real thing. It's like post-postmodernism
>>24312792
that was the most robot post I've read all day
well done.
>>24312706
Do you even lift?
>>24312845
But y'all call me a normie every day.
DUDE FALLOUT 4 LMAO
le wild gf appears
My best friend just did this hahaha *picture of something pretty fucking normal, but theres a cute chick making a weird facial expression*
>>24312840
>he still thinks it's ironic
Normies rely on beinf homogenous for cohesion. That's why "eccentrics" are always looked upon as being incorrect in their behavior.
I just made this awesome lego star wars r2d2 cause im such a nerd!!
Its link! not zelda! get it right, oh right its cause im such a nerd!
>omg im so sleep-deprived, i NEED coffeine or else im grumpy ALL DAY! (15 year old girl)
>>24312940
Why do normies rush to play that single-player game on low settings without bug fixes, DLC, and mods when as a neet I've not enough time for all the games I already have?
CHECK OUT THIS SAD FROG MEME I FOUND ON THE CHIVE LOL
>>24310250
>Finnish robot
redundant
>>24312959
how about this? le fuck im batman xD
>>24311849
I FUCKING HATE NORMIE SMALL TALK
"Nice weather we're having today haha"
"yes if you can call it that"
"hahahah"
Literally, why is it so damn pointless?
>>24312840
>having concerns about the current turn of events?
Pretty good face
>>24312840
It's amazing how shit like montage parodies have become exactly what they were made to take the piss out of.
>>24313042
also
what have you been up to xD?
bitch that's none of your business
>>24310250
Oh no, you too? This was a big thing in our school. I remember when one dude broke his phone and cried for 3 days straight lol
t. Other Finnish Robot
>>24310168
Its about a 50/50 split
>All these normie "jokes"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that they're considered jokes/funny or the fact I find none of them humorous.
>>24313000
Im actually strongly considering dropping $110 on an AT-AT lego set. Something about star wars and lego makes me think about my childhood when things didn't matter as much, and playing with lego and trying to find the little lego lightsabers was the most stressful part of my day.
I dont tell anyone about my lego though
>>24313042
They can't tolerate silence but their relationships are superficial and so the conversation is universal and vacuous.
>>24311849
Things that make me want to shoot up the place
>"it's free right?!"
>"Do you have [any fucking alcohol]" when asked what they want to drink
Back when I worked fast food there was this guy, he'd come once a week and he'd just make the same lame fucking jokes every time.
>anything else today?
>HOW ABOUT: winning lotto numbers,a new benz,a million dollars, two million dollars so he could give his friend a million,a cold beer, a high five, a free small fry, the list goes on almost infinitely
Just thinking about him is making me rage a little. ID be taking an order and he'd be saying shit like "whopper,a five dollar foot long, chicken fries!" While I'm taking ANOTHER persons order. It got so bad that when I found out he worked at the home Depot I went there and acted every bit as retarded as he does,except he thought it was the funniest thing in the fucking world oh my god I'm just gonna go fucking kill myself
HEIL HITLER! GAS THE JEWS! Ahahahaha!
>go to dads workplace
>leaves me with his work buds
>talk to me about cats on the Internet
>acting like they're crazy and random for finding cat pics funny
If they knew half the shit I find amusing, oh Jesus...
The normie world is a scary one
>>24313022
I literally laughed out loud
Haha me and my friends are having meme wars, have you ever been in a meme war anon?
>>24313159
>lefty/pol/ getting mad that most normies are left-wing and tries to push a few "normie jokes" of their own
See right through you /his/
>putting 'le' behind any joke or phrase
>acting 'whacky' or "LOL SO RANDUMB xD" (as in "fuck you I'm batman", "fuck you my cats a mustache, your argument is invalid xD")
>(any quotes from a popular Vine/Youtube video)
>'shitposting' (basically the "LOL SO RANDUMB xD" of 4chan)
>any form of obvious shock humor (South Park, Family guy, etc)
>Anything from Saturday Night Live
>The Chive
>Memebase
>Memecenter
>Any website with the word "meme" in its title
>post-2012 Newgrounds
>Black Twitter
>>24313042
I don't like forced social contracts
Shit like "how's your day going" can only be responded with by "good"
There's an awesome deli that I go to three times a week and the cashier always asks me "hi hows your day going?!?!" and I got sick of it. So I responded honestly,that I was thinking of fucking my credit,taking out as much loans/etc as possible,buying a benz with cash money and throwing whatever reminded in the back so that I could drive it into a lamp post going 65 mph.
Never asked me again
>>24313022
>>24313222
Is chive like 9gag or what? I'm not joking, I legit didn't know the site before
>>24312840
Le trader and manipulator of global affairs who is of a certain ethnicity.
all the normies I work with are cool as shit and just talk about stuff like cheating on their wives, paying child support, political issues and sports. If you say something like "nice weather, eh?" or stupid bullshit small-talk they'll say stuff like
>no fucking shit, you've been outside today too?
or when one guy was going on about pants on sale at a store:
>nobody gives a fuck about your pants tom, we dont need your whole life story
>>24310114
Black lives matter haha
>>24313280
I think so. I've been told they host articles but I've never been there myself. It's basically memebase meets Kotaku or Gawker, I guess.
>>24313284
Trawling for replies
>>24313139
If you already have a gaymen PC, you can get more bang for your buck from sandbox video games like Space Engineers.
This was my most recent LEGO purchase.
>>24311849
It is what it is LOL
>>24313295
It's more a case of thug lives don't matter. Black lives definitly do matter though.
>>24313312
Website I don't like.
Anon, Halloween was LAST month! You can take off your mask now LOL XD
>How do you know [thing] about person when it's not visually apparent? HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE
>>24311884
>The project as he had worked it out was casual and bold, the risks were considerable.
Shouldn't that have a semicolon?
>>24313324
I already play and love sandbox games, but its just not the same as actually making something tangible. I've always had a soft spot for models and such though, and completely get (and kind of agree with) someone saying they're a waste of time/money
>this is the rarest pepe
XD
>How do you know what shit tastes like? Have you tried it? LOL XD
>parroting a marketing slogan (for free) and calling it a joke
>>24313452
Elements of Style, my nig. if the flow is better w/out a semicolon, the comma is fine.
I haven't genuinely laughed at anything in so long
What do normal people talk about?
>>24312940
DUDE
THE VILLAIN
BOSTEN xD
>>24313555
But doesn't that technically count as a comma splice? Not trying to be pedantic. I realized yesterday that I had no idea how the fuck to actually use a semicolon, so
I am trying to learn now.
>>24313287
how very edgy
>>24313724
they're all in their 30s/40s for the most part, I dont even think they're trying to be edgy on purpose
>>24313252
hey there, this isn't a cringe thread.
Guys, you forgot
>>24310191
>implying this isn't an undeniable truth
>>24313841
Holy fuck this.
my comment is original
>middle school tier dirty jokes when they point out that something looks like a penis or something and say 'I've got such a dirty mind lol xD'
literally kill me i couldn't even force a laugh back in middle school let alone now we're adults
haha dank meme haha
>>24310250
Man i remember that shit
T. Yet another finnish robot
>>24310135
can someone explain this to me pleas?
>>24314394
It's when people have sex with Netflix playing in the background, it's essentially for people who want to watch TV and have sex at the same time.
>>24314138
GTFO loser normie scum.
>>24310250
I have played improvised cricket with an old Nokia and it still works to this day
>>24314440
I really didn't understand until you explained it, thank you anon
>>24314456
>Being this new
my comment is original
DUDE WEED LMAO
SMOKE SOME WEED DUDE YOU'LL OPEN YOUR EYES LOL
I used to be ok with drugs, now i'm really really really not ok, fucking normie scum
dude bonanza rofl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfy2FWI5_oQ
>>24310114
Cancer tier shitpost.
>>24314138
men are sluts for fucking landwhales, making all girls have chad standards. Get out, normie
>>24313692
it is technically a comma splice, but if it is clear the author knows what he is doing, and he doesn't constantly splice, it is OK. even if the above sentence were not to use a comma splice, it wouldn't use a semicolon either, it'd use a period.
semicolons are for when the second part of the sentence expands in an essential way on the first part and is virtually dependent on it. that is the best nutshell way I know of explaining it. Elements of Style is really indispensable, if you haven't read it, and especially if you are a /lit/fag.
>>24313153
>It got so bad that when I found out he worked at the home Depot I went there and acted every bit as retarded as he does,except he thought it was the funniest thing in the fucking world
I laughed so hard at this
>>24313153
>the winning lotto numbers
Fucking triggered. I get this way too often and I always want to punch the people that say it.
Also old people/people that lack self awareness and go into their life story every time you have to give them the obligatory, "hi, how are you?"
>>24311642
deep, but true
>>24314844
Old people can't into Internet and most of their friends and family are dead so that may be their only human interaction that day.
>>24314440
>>24314528
Not exactly.
It's a way to ask a girl if she can come over to do something harmless, when in reality you're planning to get in her panties five minutes in.
So now "wanna netflix & chill?" means "want to have sex?".
>>24314925
Call a sex got line or some shit if you're that pressed for interaction. I swear, I'll be so happy when I'm old and don't have to constantly interact with people.
>>24311849
hahahahaha seriously. Is there at least one person there who isn't like that?
Do you ever find yourself making the same gay ass "coworker jokes" to fit in and feeling disgusted with yourself?
>>24315115
>*TRIGGERED*
discomment'soriginaldog
Minions. FUCK minions
I don't get what is so funny about them and the worst part is that I tried so fucking hard to use them to make normies laugh and it fucking failed
>Work with multiple normies
>Hear them bragging about how 'funny' Minions are
>Decide I have no friends and should use their pleb taste to my advantage
>Go on the internet and buy a Minion lunchbag
>Just a small plastic bag, yellow with a minion face on
>Fill it with tiny foam banana candy sweets
>Wait for lunch
>Wait for every normie to walk into the room
>Start pouring the banana sweets into my mouth
>Loudly proclaim "oh sexy minion, spit in my mouth"
>make minion noises
>normies look at me
>laugh
>but laugh at me, not with me
>don't bring that lunchbag to work ever again
I just give up
>>24311905
>well it's free then, right
Oh fuck, I do this. A lot.
>>24315482
Mommy, mommy! Buy me the new minions cereal!
>>24315482
>but laugh at me, not with me
I've never understood this. Whether people laughed at me or with me never really mattered much as long as they were laughing.
>>24313042
Are you retarded?
You don't talk about the weather to find out what the weather is.
>>24310114
>20 MINUTES INTO NETFLIX AND CHILL AND SHE DOING THIS XD
>>24314381
>>24313085
>>24310250
My samefag detector just exploded.
>>24316648
kek, I wish I could go that far into netflix and chill
>>24313287
How is talking about pants on sale considered his "whole life story"
>>24310114
AHAHAHA APPLE IS SO BAD YOU CAN'T EVEN GAME ON IT LOL YOU CAN GET 3 PC'S FOR THE SAME MONEY
>>24316900
>He thinks that HATING Apple is a normie thing to do
Retard
>>24316900
>mad applefag
>>24317116
>>24317234
he's right thoughblocks
INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR, DICK STUCK IN [literally anything] 8D 8D 8D 8D
>>24316900
That isnt a joke. That's a fact.
>>24314394
It's when you invite someone over to watch a movie with you (Netflix), but you guys get bored halfway through the movie and end up having sex right there on the couch.
"Netflix and chill" is a euphemism for sex.
>>24311849
>"Well we are busy but that's not a bad thing, it makes the time go"
This is a robot thing to say though
I work as a cashier and the normies always get exasperated when it gets busy, but it does make the time go by when you don't socialize with your co-workers
>Hey anon, did you see that mame on Facebook?
It's not even a "mame", it's just some random picture with text on it
Do retards and 50 year old women count to?
>>24313841
Yes that prank call was funny but fucking Hell! This need to stop!
420blaze it man this shit cures cancer and actually GROWS braincells it has absolutely NO negative effects at all and then look at ALCOHOL it's way worse for you it's PHYSICALLY addictive the government should STAY OUT of my conscious states FREEDOM, PEACE, LOVE
>>24313153
haha I found this funny
>>24315482
Maybe they could tell you were trying too hard
Saying "beer can" with a Jamaican accent sounds like "bacon" xD
Saying "good", "die", and "might" consecutively sounds like saying "good day mate" in an Australian accent xDDDD
Hey! Did you know that Breaking Bad is actually a spin off from Malcolm in the Middle, because they have they same actor?
>>24319484
No, it would sound like "beeyer can". Jamaicans put hard r's at the end of words like that.
>>24319517
To be fair, I ripped that one straight from a normie's mouth. The other one came from a closet robot who doesn't know what 4chan is.
>too much information XDDD
>>24315070
I am dead inside now, so when I do make gay coworker jokes, I don't feel anything. mostly I just say "yeah" a lot and don't laugh when jokes are made, so my hick boss is generally uneasy around me. feels good man.
>>24317920
eh true, but as robot I never say it, I just think it and feel hate for my whiney coworkers.
Can't stump the Trump! *tips fedora*
*teleports behind you*
*chops your head off*
Feel the Bern!
*it was a hologram*
>Named Nick
>Tell someone my name
>"Nick Nick Nick Nick Nickalodeon!"
Fuck off and never talk to me again.
>>24310114
Real men carry the groceries in one trip
>>24320457
I just noticed something very unimportant about minions...
why are their overall(s) buttons sewn on with denim string instead of the stitching string around the rest of their outfit?
>>24320538
I find their cartoony bodies clashing with the hyper realistic denim jarring
>>24320457
I will never understand how these fucking things became a mascot for dumb quotes middle-aged women like to share on social media.
>>24310114
OXFORD DICTIONARY WORD OF THE YEAR
>>24313042
Even normies "hate small talk"
It's just something people get out of the way because if someone just stepped in front of you in the street and asked you "Hey what do you think about romantic love?" while you were just thinking about what you did in 8th grade you'd most likely stammer and drop your spaghetti
>>24310114
>I'm so OCD lol
>I'm so ADD lol
WHAT ARE THOSSEEEEE?
>>24320624
lt gets worse
>>24315070
>go to boss' house for dinner
>meet his dog, which is a very big Great Dane
>say "that's a nice horse you got there"
It was that moment, where I looked at my life as a wageslave office drone brown nosing my way up the corporate ladder, and I quit my job the next day and went hitch hiking and camping and traveled the states besides just to conference meetings and I wish that were true, I just got a promotion and my soul is dead, as are all my ideals. I talk about taxes and put money into a traditional IRA and generally I'm dead on the inside. Only the pursuit of money matters, now.
This thread reeks of yank culture. I wouldn't last a day in the USA tbqh.
>>24310429
>tfw always thought "The cake is a lie" originated from the super rare "Cake" recipe in WoW
>>24310114
Check out this meme I found online el oh el its called the sad frog meme
>>24320938
i fucking hate every single person who ever shares this king of bullshit oh we care no you fucking dont fuck off and die you absolute cunt
>>24322475
awesome sauce =) !!!
>>24322855
My coworker texted me "awesomesauce" in a response to me today.
>#PrayForParis
>france flags everywhere
>mfw
Fucking normies acting all sympathetic and shit when they are really just fishing for attention.
>look at me! look how culturally aware and sympathetic I am!
Meanwhile countless thousands of people die all the time from violence and war across the world and nobody bats an eye, until it just so happens that a couple of normies die in a crowded metropolitan area
>>24322475
I made a meme of my friends!
>REFERENCE REFERENCE REFERENCE AAAAACK!!
