It may be a weekday tomorrow, but feels never sleep, nor does alcoholism.
It's an inebriation-filled night at the ol' F&F, robots. Of course, if you're going sober tonight, we're fine with that too. Saunter on in and take a load off.
Sometimes I look at myself and think... this guy doesn't look that bad. But I'm so autistic and pathetic that it doesn't matter. I'm broken. I wish God was real so there was someone to fix me.
Why do I love depressants so much barkeep?
Gin for me tonight.
I need to do something with my life other than work
I've been having nightmares about my ex for the past couple of days, I've barely gotten any sleep.
I'll just have a water for tonight.
I wish I lived somewhere where alcohol was cheap and easy to get, god fucking damnit. I live in a Socialist shithole where the taxes are high as hell and you can't even legally buy booze over 3,5% on certain days.
Looks like I'm stuck with Famous Grouse
tasting notes
Nose:sour indian pussy, with a little brinyness of a fisher's wife
Mouthfeel:thick, almost offensively mild, absolutely no burn of any indication it has alcohol other than a vague chemical burning in the nose.
Taste:cheap wine with some grass and old flowers with bugs growing in a ditch with a (thankfully) brief finish of burnt dog shit and sardines canned in brine.
I give it a 0/10. This is honestly the worst swill I've ever had to put in my mouth. Why my dumbass thought $25 for a handle was a good deal I'll never understand. Scotland doesn't know shit about whiskey. They can't even spell it right. I'm giving the rest to my gf. Ginger ale is the only thing it halfway mixes decent with. It's so nasty it's not even somehting you can do shots of. It's so nasty it's not even a nasty spirit you prank your friend with by offering a glass.
From now on I'm sticking with what I know and love. American stuff. Good stuff. Fighting cock, wild turkey, and knob creek. Johny walker black may have been my first spirit I could enjoy neat but apparently I've outgrown scotch and it's nothing but bourbon from here on.
>>24296469
Hello again barkeep. A hopeful wojak for ID, ill have jack daniels on the rocks.
>>24296608
A lot of our headaches could be solved if we didn't think about stuff so much, I think. Or, that's my experience, at least. And that's one thing alcohol helps with, for me at least.
Gin it is, friend. Comin' right up.
>>24296624
I know how that goes. I used to work 45-hour weeks with work-assigned college, so essentially zero non-professional hours. That pretty much killed me.
Not saying work's bad, and not to sound too wageslave-y but I think every man should have at least one (short) period in his life where he does that just so he knows what it's like -- but hell man I agree. Money is in short supply these days, though, it seems.
>>24296651
>nightmares
That's some bad stuff, man. I've had some bad girls in my life but they've never given me nightmares.
Talk more about it, if you want. Could just be me, but I've always found vocalizing stuff like that helps me a lot.
>>24296469
Hello barkeep, one beer please
Am I the only one who sometimes thinks being depressive is comfy? Idk why this happens, but it's was less painful to stay in my room than try to talk to people
>>24296469
I'll have my usual, a negroni.
I was close to looking for a therapist this week. But now I'm back at square one. Oh well. The lights in my kingdom are fading.
>>24296686
>socialist shithole
>3.5%
That, my friend, is a crime against humanity. Order away, no limits on ABV here. Please don't drink rubbing alcohol and kill yourself, not only do we feel for our brothers who have fallen but it's also a huge headache to clean a dead body out of the place.
>>24296729
>that liquid
Good lord, anon. Masochism is a dark sport.
A shot of bourbon for you, then?
>>24296741
A Jack it is. That one will always have a special place in my heart, an old hometown friend preaches its praises above all other alcohol and those memories come up whenever I see that mark.
>>24296858
I'm with you on that one. From all of my experience, not putting yourself out there is better than putting yourself out there and getting disappointed
>>24296925
>Please don't drink rubbing alcohol and kill yourself
>tfw actually done this a few times in desperation
It's 95%, tastes like total shit but is palpable if you mix it with sugary Coca-Cola.
>>24296469
Hey Barkeep. I recently confessed to the girl of my dreams and she told me that she didn't feel the same way.
A day later she tells me she wishes someone would love her. I hate life.
I'll have a glass of scotch.
>>24296858
It can be comfy in short doses. Sometimes when I'm feeling down I'll put on a Waxahatchee album and drink brandy and water in bed in the dark and just feel numb.
something real nice about liquor and jazz
mind if I put something on barkeep?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3Lc7OgIngE
>>24296925
Old JD was my first sip of hard liquor, it'll always have a place in my heart.
>>24296858
ever heard of the phrase 'wallowing in self-pity'?
Reflecting or 'feeling' can be somewhat romantic. I find it's better to feel something rather than nothing at all.
>>24296858
>one beer
That's an awful broad assignment, but here's some Widmer Bros., I've been on a kick lately. Lemme know how it treats ya.
>less painful
How do you think I got this job, my man? It is pretty comfy. Ffrom all I've seen it's a negative habit though, if you aren't controlling it. Normie memes are #epiclulz and all, but don't let it stop you from having a few friends or talking to a few people semi-regularly at least.
>>24296910
One negroni, coming up.
I've never had a therapist, but i've talked to other people who have said it was great. If you're close to it, I'd highly advise going for it, if you can get insurance or parents to help then that's a huge bonus -- also, your uni (if student) might offer free services.
Please don't do anything rash or self-destructive. I've felt pretty self-destructive and outright suicidal at times, never followed through with the suicidal urges thankfully but it was close.
Also, thanks for the pic. It's new to me, at least, and it's a good one. For that, your Negroni's on the house.
>>24296686
lol Minnesota
>>24297177
Thanks 'keep.
A dark beer if you don't mind.
Still think on the catalonian girl from time to time. Am I getting oneitis? She's been in my mind recently a lot. In one week I have to do the presentation with her, and I learned that she will be working on a food stand this Friday. I'll probably end buying her something just because of her.
In other news, I got a Gishki Zielgigas YGO deck. It's still missing some cards but it's already pretty OP as is. I'm happy with it. Now that I learned how to use it, I'll try my luck dueling with my Tellarknight friend.
>>24296985
>palpable
Dear god, I thought it was designed with "as disgusting as we can possibly make it so people don't drink it" in mind. Guess I'm too burger to understand realities elsewhere.
>>24297046
>confessed
>"not u tho lol"
We've all been there. Without going in-depth into my stuff, I'll just say that alcohol and television are the only ways I've found to treat that. Do you watch much Always Sunny? Somehow, the unadulterated terrible trashiness makes me feel like my own problems are fine.
One Scotch, for the feeler.
>>24297078
Thanks for the tunes, /mu/sician. Very retro, I'm digging.
>>24297101
>first sip
Painful though it may sound, mine was Skyy. I think it was even some painfully-highschool flavor, too. Wish my story was as great as yours, but hey, at least it's good for a few laughs.
>>24296469
Tonic and gin please, just a little bit of gin, I have work in the morning. I also have a date tomorrow night with a guy in the NYPD, he's super interested in me so I can't fucking mess this up. I've been on dates with 9 different guys now and 5 of them broke it off after the first date with one after six dates. The others I had to break off with.
We talk a ton, mostly at night because he has the graveyard shift in the slow part of the city. I'm the one to send the good night text, and then as soon as he wakes up1:00pm on the dothe texts me.
He fits my criteria in every way possible, f a m down to the small details. I've chosen to turn away gorgeous guys because they aren't what I was looking for. I painfully got my entire face threaded today for the first time, I'm Italian and cursed with "peach fuzz" everywhere. It never was a problem but I want to look my best.
>>24297348
>designed with "as disgusting as we can possibly make it so people don't drink it" in mind
Yeah, pretty much. Depends on what brand you get though. Some are poisonous but others just have chemicals in them that make you puke. The coke has to be poured very liberally.
Hello barkeep, I'll have a Long Island iced tea.
Do you think academia will be comfy for a robot like me? Teaching is the only time I can interact properly with people.
Who /skippingclasses/ unifags here?
I'll have some shitty Irish whiskey if you've got any.
>>24297376
Good luck, I'm rooting for you!!
>>24297225
>that pic
A more serious depiction of my 2010-2013 arc I couldn't have found. Good god, that was a cringe-y time.
>dark beer
Not my forte, maybe it's not a West Coast thing or maybe my drinking buddies just lean towards the light side of the Force. But here's one for you, my friend.
Onetis-ing? Foreign girls are some serious onetis bait, we all know not to go too head-over-heels but we all know it happens anyway. Don't do anything rash like buying her a new computer or abandoning your friends for her, but hey. Women are like alcohol, they make you feel good sometimes and none of us can blame you for indulging.
>>24296469
A glass of Jagermeister and mix it with some root beer.
I'm slowly starting to replace sadness with alcohol. I'm not too late for saving but the world feels so much better when I don't have to think about sadness or other stuff. I just want booze and feel light on the clouds. I'm starting to like being drunk than facing reality sober.
>>24297410
>but you are a guy like you
She means one who she isn't in a non-sexual relationship
Thats like going out with your brother because you like his personallity
>>24296469
Let me get a shot of Johnny Walker Blue. Why Blue you might ask. I make a lot of money, close to $100k yet I still fight suicidal urges half the day. They say money can get you attraction but if you are ugly as I am you need ALOT to get that not just slightly above middle class. I make smart investment descions, own property and save when I can even though I don't need to and woman see that as week. I know a guy that has a shit job at a deli but bought a Mustang that he can barely afford the payments on and he is swimming in pussy. I can't take how retarded woman are anymore I just can't.
Send a double shot of rum my way, barkeep.
Tomorrow I'm going to do it. I'm going to try to talk to that qt 10/10 I've noticed around my school.
>>24297493
I didn't notice you replied to me at fitst. Thanks.
Well, I doubt I'd do anything like that. When I said "buy her something" I meant "buying the food she will be selling". Plus, I'm too much of a beta to do anything, like asking her out or even talk to her beyond academic stuff (organize for the presentation and maybe to study for the coming exams).
Dark beer is one of my favourite kind of beers. Stout style a best.
>>24297376
Here's your order, mate.
All the coppers I know are great human beings, all "fuck da poliec" memes aside. And if he's working in the slow part of the city, it means he probably won't get shot, so that's a plus!
I know the "peach fuzz" stuff is an epic meme, but to tell the truth a lot of guys either don't care or find it kinda cute. Sorta like the tomboy look, I guess, who knows. But hey, if it's what makes you happy, go for it.
>>24297400
Talking snob about "brands" of rubbing alcohol already has me nauseous. My heart goes out to you, man. Not to shill or anything, but is emigration a common dream in your country? Fleeing your status quo? Or do you have more important things in life than whether your beer tastes good?
>>24297410
>academia
Depends on the field, but I'm sure if you're going into it, by the time you have the credentials to teach you'll know better than I. I got about 3/4 of the way to a STEM bachelor's, then quit 'cause I hated it. If you like teaching, then yeah, it probably won't be too harsh on ya. I couldn't stand it myself. Just be prepared to act (sorry for the tired /pol/ meme) bluepilled when necessary so you won't get fired.
Iced tea, coming up.
>>24297450
/skippingclasses/
I ditched a couple for work, auto-failed from one as a result. Attendance grades can suck my wang. Here's a whiskey, uni students deserve all the alcohol they can drink.
>>24296469
I'll take a load of in yer face
>>24297177
Idk barkeep, but everytime I try to make friends on real life or in the internet I end up acting like a total retard, I literally have no control at this (like most people in this board who aren't normies...), I always end feeling bad about this, so I avoid to stay with people, and I feel good because im not being judged or acting like a retard. I know this is killing me inside everyday, but I have no control on being a total idiot when im with other people. The only 2 guys I manage to be "friends" with, are 2 chads who only talk to me because of the shit they need done in uni.
I'm trying to get a job now, because I want to buy a new PC and try to get new friends too, im really tired with being alone all day, in my home or at uni
anyway, thanks for reading my blog
>>24297699
My makeup covers it anyway, but I'm always avoiding sunlight hitting my profile so I don't look like a peach. Apparently girls are shaving their fucking face, are they crazy?!
>"it doesn't grow back thicker, it's a myth!"
I'll pay $40 and sit through the pain of two pieces of string pulling out every hair
Hi barkeep
Gin and tonic for me please. Heavier on the gin.
I'm developing feelings for a girl I've been hanging out with. We've kissed and had sex but she's emotionally unavailable on account of having just gotten out of a long relationship. It's understandable but sucks since I've been single for 4 years. Suppressing feels is hard when you've been socially avoidant, especially when she tells me of her tinder dates (though they have been unsuccessful up to this point). I've just been going for night walks, smoking hash and listening to melancholy music.
>>24297565
Surprised I've never tried that one, but here's two; bottoms up my friend.
>sadness with alcohol
For the first half of this year I rarely had a sober day. It's not the darkest road, but I'd definitely recommend only getting drunk max 2 or 3 days a week -- though I understand if you need more, it's just not a good trap to fall into.
I'm only saying that because I've been in your exact position, like I said I woke up one day and realized I hadn't been sober a single day in the past month. My friends were seriously starting to notice, even the long-distance ones.
Do what you have to, but don't hurt yourself. A robot's life can be so much more.
>>24297665
>suicidal urges
We've all been there. Money can't buy you happiness, or Chad-ness (well I mean it can, but it sounds like you respect yourself too much to sink to that level. Good man.)
Here's the shot, I'd give you another one on the house if you hadn't just told me you made close to six figures. It's the culture, you understand.
>women
>retarded
I can't even express how much I understand that point. You don't even need to go into it, you know what board you're on.
>>24297688
Here's your double shot, take it and make some good decisions. First one's on the house, consider those dubs checked.
I'm of the "10/10's don't exist in reality" school, but that's one hell of a reference nonetheless. Best of luck to you.
>>24297694
>buying her food
Aw shucks man, that's the first step towards friendship. And at least you can talk to her. Overcoming the first-contact barrier is step 1. Besides, you gotta fail a few times to appreciate success, right?
>>24297694
>"buying the food she will be selling"
Just as a warning I did this too it doesn't help anything in terms of her seeing you as anything other than a mark willing to buy her product. When a woman depends on selling something to support herself she will rope her friends into it to get her way. I remember a girl who friendzoned me was supposed to spend the day in a flea market which I rented a booth for. She ditched me something about being sick at the last second which was probably a lie but she asked if someone could buy her mostly crummy used clothes. No one would....but I felt bad because she was finding it hard to make ends meet so I "bought" all her stuff, dumped it in a garbage can and gave her cash and she was happy and all that did was get her to pester me when I could do it again so she could sell more stuff.
>>24297721
Don't have that vintage, sorry.
>>24297739
>sperging out
We've all been there. I made some 2edgy4u abortion jokes to break the ice with a pregnant chick once. All I can say is, practice helps. Maybe drive (or get a ride, if /nocar/) into another town/another part of the city just so you won't sperg out in front of people you may know.
What're you looking for in a PC? I've always been just a few steps above bottomline, always enough to run games a few years old and not half-second-freeze while doing routine stuff. My current machines are a Lenovo desktop and a 4-year-old ASUS laptop, both just above bottomline. i3 and i5 processors, respectively, bottomline video cards, 4GB and 8GB RAM.
Blog here anytime, friend. Want a drink? I'm recommending Sierra Nevada Torpedo tonight, but I might be partial because that's what I'm doing.
>>24297866
>shaving their face
Top secret, but if a girl has fuzz, I think it's cute. Besides, ever kissed a man with a 24-hour sandpaper face? That's what I imagine kissing a girl who shaves her face is like.
>>24297984
>those feels
I can't say I particularly empathize, never having been in a FWB situation, but I'm sure it sucks. I'd say just focus on being a friend, but hell, I don't know your position. Women are truly a mystery. Don't spend too much money on her, unless you really want to I guess.
I used to go on nightwalks for feels all the time. Haven't in a while, not sure why. It's too cold now, though, we've got several inches of snow and almost a foot on some of the trails I'd hike in the summer.
Gin and tonic, double gin, coming up.
>>24298150
>>24298006
I'm pretty broke and she'll be only doing so during friday, so it's not like I'll buy everything everytime. It's a long story, but in short, she'll be selling food because she was asked to replace a classmate at the stand, and she accepted. It's not a permanent thing.
I'll try to not buy shit, but being the sperg I am I'll probably do so. I'd love to be optimistic enough to think a guy like me has any chance with her, but I doubt it.
I don't know what to drink. Give me whatever. I feel like I don't belong in my university. My friends seemed to have changed and I feel like I should be elsewhere. Maybe it's because I'm a moralfag and I don't really enjoy the college party life or some of the particular things my friends do. I really want to get a dog too to remedy the fact that my friends are drifting away. Any good places to move once I have my degree? I was thinking Colorado Springs.
>>24296469
Evening, Barkeep, Black Coffee, as always. I've been thinking lately about why my life is so boring and what I can do to change it. I used to be able to wake up and be excited for the day ahead. Now I just lay in bed on my days off, usally thinking about weather God exist, and about my Father's death when I was 15.
>>24298288
Thanks, that helps. I can't say I have ever been either. The thing is she's been up front and fair about everything, and has even paid for me most of the time. It kind of fell in my lap as I generally don't go out or even seek out friendship, still recovering from major depression (more like dysthymia now). I'm trying to focus on being a friend but in the back of my mind I fear she'll find someone better and I'll be alone again. I'm a shut in that plays video games and watches anime, and she's into fitness and seems pretty motivated. She's also 6 years younger than me.
Barkeep I just hallucinated seeing an alien outside my door taunting me and I went around my house with my switchblade in hand looking for him to kill it. I think I just hit rock bottom. What drink can you suggest?
>>24298390
Hey, go there to buy stuff, and maybe hang around a few minutes and chat before going to class. I wouldn't recommend spending more than a few minutes, or you might seem creepy (or awkward, at best).
Try not to just buy it and shuffle off mumbling "Y-you too...." Crack a joke about your class together, or drop a quick [show you both watch] reference if you've talked about it before, or something maybe? Heck brother, if I could give good advice for this sort of thing I'd hardly be on the other end of this bar, ya know?
>>24298507
I'll try to not overflow the premises with my spaghetti. Thanks for listening, barkeep. Yo're a great guy.
>>24298288
Thanks for reading again, barkeep
I don't even try to get new friends now, Im just too autistic to talk with anyone I dont know, I probably need to see a terapist. But it's not a bad idea to go to other places and try to talk with people there, as you said, there are little chances of seeing this people again, and even if I do, its likely that they wont recognize me anyway.
Well, to be honest im looking foward to get a PC to run Fallout 4, since im a bethdrone and a pleb. My PC now is a Pentium D with a GT 630 and 4gb ram who barely run fallout new vegas on high, or skyrim on low. I was looking for a i5 4th generation/GTX 750ti and 8gb ram, it is not the best computer out there, but it is the best I can afford with the minimum wage in my country (brazilfag)
anyway, I'll take anything barkeep, im not used to drink too much, if you think its good and you are the barkeep, i should trust you
Alcohol just makes me more depressed.
It fucking sucks. It would be nice to have a mild thing like some beers to make me feel better, but it just makes me feel worse.
>>24296469
I'll have a scotch from the Lowlands.
I know I have things going for me. I have friends, a small group but close. I have a job, it pays alright, but at the same time my depression hasn't gone away. I've come a long way from wanting to kill myself and my attempt. I think I've just ran out of hope. My therapist told me I should write down the things I'm hopeful for in the future but for everything I think of gets blocked out because of logic.
>I hope to get a house
Know that my credit (all student loan debt) will stop me
>Want to have a family
Last relationship ruined all ideas I have on love.
>Want a dog or a cat
Allergic to and even if I could my apartment will not let me get one.
How do you see the bright side when your brain just sees clouds?
>>24298583
I'm a robot but I mastered the art of mundane conversation even with attractive woman and I can detect if a woman doesn't want to talk to me. It's tough but you gotta wing it and seem natural and GTFO when it starts getting weird.
I'm out of booze for now, wont be able to get any until my mother drives me to school, usually I just get a cheap six pack and mix it with ativan, but now I think I'll buy a cheap bottle of vodka too. I know it will upset her though, but I don't need GP points for much of anything anymore.
Evenin' lads. Just got let off some major trouble, so I'm celebrating with cheap vodka and green tea. Wishing a night as comfy as mine to my fellow bros
>>24298806
>not having over 1,000,000 GBP in the bank
>>24298806
Rambled so much that I forgot what to order.
Give me a Moscow Mule in one of those little copper cups.
>>24298405
>don't know what to drink
Have an Old Chico, it's one of my favorites. Hope you're into light beer.
>friends
For me, part of it was swallowing my pride and hanging out with friends even when deep down inside I didn't give a shit about what they were doing/talking about.
>don't enjoy college
Well I ragequit, so I can't give much good advice there. If you were to ask, though I'd advise you to take a semester or two off (finish this semester, just don't re-enroll and all that) and work. Live in the real world for a while, it'll be valuable for you when you go back to college.
>good places
I've always been a huge fan of the Oregon coast, anything except Portland (not a huge fan of large cities here). A friend with a CS degree lives just south of Portland, and it's incredibly /comfy/ there.
>>24298423
>God, father's death
I can't say I can give you any solid evidence as to His existence or not, but I'd say you have to follow your heart on that one. When my grandfather died, it was hard. I've never seen my dad cry before that. I don't know how I would take my dad's passing. If he loved you, then he'd want you to continue your life and make yourself into the man you'd want to be, not wallow in sadness over him. All fathers want to die before their children, after all, just not that much earlier.
Here's your drink, man. I hope it helps.
>>24298471
>6 years younger
Now there's a red flag, unless you're both in your thirties. There's just kind of a cultural gap, I hardly need to tell ya that though. Are you full-on onetis-ing over her, because I'd recommend using her attention as motivation to get /fit/ or learn a few Chad-side tricks, rather than devoting your life to trying to win over a girl who clearly will not return your affection.
Have you talked with her about your depression, or with other trusted men in your life? Depression is the harder problem than the girl, in my opinion, although one generally causes the other, I guess.
My mum died in a car crash yesterday. What the fuck do I do? I feel like the world is closing in on me, she was my best friend ;_;
Scotch, I guess. I don't like the way alcohol tastes but maybe I'll feel better.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate it. I'm a 5'3 balding manlet who is ugly like you've never seen before. People give me disgusted looks and women would probably rather see me blow my brains out in front of them than go out with me. I want a relationship so badly. But the way I look makes me hate women so much. I imagine myself some tall handsome fully grown man and just think about what my life would be life. That and my legitimate insanity, I have to constantly repeat phrases over and over again in my head and repeat things over and over and fucking over and over and i hate it so much. just writing this is taking so much effort i hate it.
I've had:
>a triple of whiskey
>two strong beers (glass bottles)
>five glasses of wine (three white, two red)
What should I have next?
I've got more of what I've listed above, as well as some really fucking awful artificially flavored Smirnoff. It's really gross. The taste makes me want to throw up. It's like showing up at a Chinese chemical plant and having a glass of something out of a random vat.
Got school tomorrow at 3PM, it being 10:51 PM right now.
Here is a random webm.
>>24298884
Thanks for reading, keep.
>>24298926
>5'3 balding manlet who is ugly
You have only one path and that is to get jacked. You can work with being small and bald but you must be muscular. It's the only way.
>>24298956
You must be overweight if you had all that and are still functioning. This comes from an overweight guy who drinks a lot.
>>24298994
Well, I am a bit overweight, yes.
But I haven't always been.
Even when I wasn't overweight, it was the same.
I take an SSRI that makes alcohol have almost no effect on me, among other things.
vodka with peach nehi please
I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to think about anything. I don want to exist. I distract myself every day from reality so I won't have to face it. I drink like a madman, play vidya like I'm 16 again, and none of it takes the edge off for a single second. I'm tired of living. I'm exhausted by it. I've had too much failure and disappointment in my life to be a normal human anymore.
I'm a ghost. nobody cares who I am or where I am. I've asked girls out and been laughed at. I give up. if I turn 40 (5 years left) I'm gonna blow my head off. or maybe I'll just be tired one day and do it sooner.
>>24298490
Either sounds spoopy or sobering, depending on your definition of "hallucination." Hope you don't have roommates.
I'd recommend a light beer, it doesn't sound like you're in a position where i'd recommend getting hammered fast. How's an Anchor sound?
Seriously though, do you have roomies or live with family? I get like that if I'm alone too long, one of the reasons I keep living with roomies even when business is good and I could afford to move into my own place if I wanted.
>>24298583
If there's any place for spaghetti, it's here. I'm just trying to give back to this community, you've all been here for me.
>>24298633
>too autistic
You and me both, m8
>i5 4th-gen
>8G RAM
Works for me, you won't be playing many new games on "High" graphics settings, but you should be fine on low. If you can grab a 1080p monitor (in Burgerland you can get one new for under $150USD if you look around) that's pretty nice too. Using a TV as a monitor sucks, too, FYI.
Light screwdrivers go down easy, the OJ overpowers the vodka pretty quick, or for a newbie beer Budweiser used to be my favorite.
>>24298659
It always lifts me up and makes me forget why I'm depressed/angry, but I understand. Here's a cherry Coke, on the house.
I feel burned out. I can't focus, I can't bring myself to care about what I need to do. I have a lot of things on my mind right now. Give me something hard.
>>24298633
Consider this pepe,
Stolen.
>>24298678
>therapist, friends haven't killed depression yet
Sounds bad, man. What makes you upset?
House is long-term, you can do it eventually. You can make something of yourself. And renting isn't the end of the world, hell I know white-collar family men who rent just because they don't want to deal with the headache of owning.
>family
At least you're mature about it, and not trying to knock up the first slut at the bar you can take home. I like men like you.
>pets
I'm not allergic, but I'd have to pay a ridiculous deposit at my apartment for anything past a small fishbowl. So I do know that feel, I grew up with cats and I'd love to have one again.
>bright side
Wish I could tell you. Do you exercise? I've always found that puts me in a brighter mood, or even being outdoors in nice weather, although nice weather's in short supply these months.
here's your drink, man. Sorry to keep talking when I could be pouring.
>>24298806
Do what you need, friend. You want the shot or the entire bottle? I'll give it to you at cost, mostly because you amuse me.
>>24298853
Here's to a comfy night for all.
>>24298879
>copper cups
A man who knows what he likes. Here's your order, old chap.
>>24299066
how do SSRI affect alcohol?
I've been offered them by my GP (doctor if that's a regional term) but so far refused them because of what I've heard about them.
>>24299361
Different for everyone.
It could have no effect at all on you in terms of certain things.
you won't know until you try it.
for me, it makes two bottles of beer like a mouth full of wine.
>>24298913
I can't imagine much worse.
Remember she was your mother, and it sounds like she loved you. She would want you to keep on living your life. After all, like I said before, no parent wants to outlive their child anyway. Some just leave their children with more time than they had planned on.
Remember her with every drink, but part of that is remembering who she'd want you to be. Or, if you believe in afterlife, who she wants you to be as she's looking down on you right now.
Nothing would make a loving mother happier than a son who finds happiness in life, and when he finds love, gives her grandchildren and tells them about their wonderful grandmother.
My grandad was a loving father and a good man, but I've only ever known him through my father. My father loved his father just as I love him, and from his own life and the stories he tells I feel like I knew the man even though he was hit by a truck when I wasn't two years old. But that rests on my father, too; if my dad had let himself go to seed I wouldn't have the same paternal image to paint my grandfather from.
I don't know what to say, man, I've never lost a parent, But make her proud as much as you can. Pic related was my grandad's car, he bought it in England and it stayed in the family, from my dad to me. He was a man not defined by his possessions, but keeping those possessions that I could helped me keep his memory alive.
i've drank two fifths and a 6 pack in the last 3 days. i've been drinking tonight and i don't even feel buzzed. fuck this hell.
>>24299564
>pumpkin spiced whiskey
Just kill yourself already
>>24299619
it's good. i've drank that, some ales, and vodka and tonic. just because it tastes good doesn't mean it is for pussies. that line of thought is dumb as fuck. it was a nice treat.
>>24298926
Alcohol usually makes me feel better, here's yours. Become a full-fledged alcoholic and it'll start tasting good, that's when the redflags start coming up. I'm recovering, myself.
We all have our insecurities. If it makes you feel any better, I know a guy who's something on the order of 5'3 or 5'4 who's as Chad as you can get in a small town where you know everyone by name. He's fucked pretty much all the girls in town, is what I'm saying, which isn't a whole lot but still.
Life does get better as you age. Especially if you get a degree and go white-collar. My uncle's somewhere around 5'5 and has a qt wife and kids, working some boring office job for middle-class income.
>say things over and over
I have to do that for memory issues. Is it memory with you, or a psychological tick thing that I don't understand?
>>24298956
Smirnoff is some pretty tacky stuff. You want something lighter, at this point, I hope. I don't want anyone passing out in this bar tonight, if we can avoid it. You're clearly into some stronger stuff, though, but I don't know if I'd recommend anything much past a heavy beer at this point. How's some Torpedo sound?
>school
Drink up, man, school sucks.
>>24298966
Thanks for coming. And you didn't order, but let's not let your free drink go to waste. Here's a light rum and coke for ya.
>>24299079
>vodka with peach
You got it.
>don't want to exist
That's my general cry of depression. My advise, stop chasing women (I know, they're pretty and intoxicating) and focus on platonic male friendships for a while. Also, have you tried online sites? OKCupid and the like? I know there's a lot of gold diggers there but I also know a few success stories who really do love each other. Plus, at your age is when women dont' care as much about Chadhood as they used to.
>>24298884
Thanks for the Old Chico. I feel like I'm on the verge of ragequitting college too. I wish I had done community college just to get it over with. I'm doing well with a full ride and a 4.0 but the atmosphere just isn't for me. I don't know if there's ever been anyone else in my boat. The working thing seems like a good idea. Where do you work Barkeep?
As for the friends thing, I don't know if I'd just feel fake hanging out with them and pretending to care. Everyone's probably felt this at one point, but I feel like I'm more grown up than them. Nobody around here acts like a damn adult and it's distressing to me for some reason. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird...
Oregon coast seems nice. I've just heard nice things about Colorado. My second choice would be Utah but too Mormon in most cities. I mean I'm a moralfag but I don't think I'd take it that far.
>>24299186
>burned out
I know that feel. Sometimes I view life as a videogame, telling myself it's 250exp or 5 credits or something if I can shower or apply to a job or exercise for 15 minutes.
How's a shot of Jack sound? Let's make it a double, on the condition you do at least one productive thing tomorrow after the hangover wears off.
>>24299564
That's not too much, honestly. Not that I'm calling you a faggot, I support anyone trying to kick alcohol, but I know guys who down a bottle of liquor and a 12pack in one night.
Call some guys and tell them to take you to the bar and get you drunk, they'll help you out. 'Til then, here's a Redbull/double-vodka. Keep drinking and buying, and if you can walk a straight line in 45 minutes I'll give you your money back.
Not even sure where I lay anymore. Robot? Cyborg?
Just lost my gf of 2 years today and someones trust who is dear to me. Very bad day, your strongest, best, top shelf whiskey please.
I don't know what I'm having tonight, barkeep. I think I've finally hit rock bottom, everyday for the past 3 years now I've been thinking about this girl. Like ya said, the foreign ones hit harder what with the oneitis and everything. I just can't get her out of my head, she's all I think about and I do love her, I'd do close to anything to be with her, I'm only deluding myself that she could possibly feel the same way. I always wonder, if it'd be such a bad idea to actually fly out there and see her. I'm at the point where I can barely function from day to day, I'm losing hope, and from time to time I just want end it. Anyway, sorry for my rant, boss, I appreciate you listening to my troubles.
>>24299347
>What makes you upset?
I guess all those years of growing up quickly are catching up to me. From the time I was 7 I had to do everything on my own. My mom's addiction would always put us in the backseat. She's better now but our relationship has suffered. I had to grow up, I had to help around the house. Older siblings worked so I cooked and cleaned. I didn't have time to make friends really or be a kid. Things got worse when I was 12 my mom told me I was a mistake, something my dad already told me, but seeing her with red half lidded eyes as she told me that she was just short 20 dollars for an abortion just broke me. Six months later I tried to kill myself. If it wasn't for my sister checking up on me in the bathroom because she just had a "feeling" I would be dead right now. Her asking if I was OK made me so happy and I couldn't let her see my dead body. I couldn't let her feel the way I felt.
But I think after that day I stopped living. I just wanted to survive. That's all I've been doing, almost everything I have done; graduation, leaving the town I'm from, college has just been in the name of survival. The things I've tried to do: loving someone, wanting to start a family, buying a home (something I never had), being okay as myself, things people live for have just been met with such opposition. I'm 27 and I just don't know if I'm able to be alive.
>>24299772
I don't discourage anyone from ragequitting, especially with today's uni scene becoming almost obsolete for pretty much anyone without family connections or not Engineering/hard science. I work construction, it sucks but I've had a few better offers. I just need to get off my ass and get my resume together. If you have a 4.0, though, well depending on what year you are that's pretty good. Have you thought about changing majors? Especially if you're a trustfund kid, despite my pessimistic view of modern college-degrees' worth, i'd say it's worth it for connections if nothing else.
That kind of falls into the "fake hanging out" boat, you're not gonna make those connections (which are half the point of college) if you don't fake it.
Yeah, no one in college acts like an adult, that's a huge part of my ragequitting too. One plus is that everyone in construction acts like an adult. But, the negative is that I'm working construction.
Colorado's real nice, I went there this summer for my rich grandparents' big anniversary party. Cold as fuck in the winter, but if you're ok with that then go ahead. I value the coast a lot, so I could never be happy that far inland. Even now, two hours' drive away, I feel trapped. Guess I forget a lot of people don't care about that.
>>24299960
Have some Forty Creek or some Crown Royal.
Also, Cyborg.
>>24296469
Is this the regular barkeep. Meh doesnt matter. I wish I had a better talent, like fighting. Music is nice and all but Ive always said action is louder than words.
Currently chilling the FUCK out to some BMSR, drinking beers, and generally trying to ignore the stresses of my bachelors program.
It's social service work. Yes, haha, it's not very academic.
That doesn't make it not intense in what I'm trying to prepare to do in society.
Also trying not to worry too much about this girl I'm getting really close with, and falling in love, hoping she maybe feels the same way about me.
Going to ask her out on Tuesday.
And then my mom is making the most delicious chicken soup in the world. It smells like God.
I want some so much, but i'm too full from dinner to even have a spoonful.
Will have some tomorrow before class.
>>24300040
Been taking kickboxing and jiu jitsu for over a year now. It has helped me in so many ways.
I started when I wasn't even fit, I was skinny, played video games all day, and did no sports. I just decided it was time for a change and I went with it.
Find a decent place near you and check it out, you won't regret it
>>24296582
My problem is that I'm the exact opposite of this guy. I'm fucking ugly but i just always luck into random wins in social situations that come once in a blue moon. For the most part, i'm an absolute fucking ugly loser. But on the other hand, I have enough success with people that urges me to keep working on myself even though I don't feel like it's worth it. It sucks.
>>24297410
>when she keeps talking about how she'll never find a man and completely ignores the fact that you are perfect for each other
>>24299692
White girl as fuck
>>24296582
Anon, respect that guy you see in the mirror.
He might not have experience, but he can gain it.
Don't be afraid to screw up.
Screwing up is how you learn.
You wouldn't have learned how to add or count past ten if you didn't make a mistake along the way.
gaining experience is the key to becoming good at something.
Go into it balls out, try not to worry (too much)O, and be prepared for failure.
In that failure, you will find experience, and you'll know what to do better next time.
>>24300212
I'm sorry, I'm wrong.
don't be prepared for failure.
Instead, just don't look forward to success. Don't expect it.
that way, success is a treat, a nice surprise, and failure is not a let down. if you don't have expectations, you can never be disappointed.
Just go in with the expectation of learning, not good or bad.
>>24300184
i'm white but thankfully not a girl. at least i think thankfully. fuck if i know how it would be.
i like pumpkin pie and apple cider and shit a lot. so i like hard cider, and i saw this shit and was like uhhhh fuck gotta try it. was good. tastes like pumpkin pie. i got bored of drinking straight chilled vodka all the time.
what's for men then? IPAs? aka the devil's turpentine?
>>24300212
everybody you love will die
>>24300322
And so will you.
That's a separate issue.
What's your point?
I am completely content with death.
Without death, nothing would have meaning.
>>24299960
>Just lost my gf of 2 years today and someones trust who is dear to me
That's a rough night. I've never had anything longer than ~1 year, and both times it wrecked me completely.
Here's a shot for you.
>>24299963
I know the feel, heck if we're really just telling each other awkward things, I've actually flown out. In a way, if you can afford it without ruining yourself, it's nice. Gives you something concrete to be rejected by, less of a "missed opportunity" sense, might help you move on. But I guess it might also do the opposite. Anyway, mine wasn't overseas, just on the opposite coast.
>end it
Please don't, not over a girl like that. I can almost guarantee there'll be another one.
>don't know what I'm having
Here's a pint of Miller, I'll come back and take your next order when you're buzzed enough to think straight.
>>24300028
That's really, really rough. Parental love, though, doesn't make you more or less of a person. You have the same genes and the same life, you're the same person, regardless of whether you were an accident or a planned birth.
>inb4 shit genes
I know some pretty wonderful people with some pretty crap parents. You define yourself, not your genetic code.
Everything but the family (I've desired a wife, but never particularly a family) I feel. Leaving town is something I did to prove I was better than the losers (not really losers, just different people, generally my friends too) who didn't or couldn't. Loving someone, well we all know that feel, do you have personal romantic issues or is the waifu search just hard? Being okay as yourself, well self esteem is a huge issue of myself and many others here.
Fuck if I have answers. Let's just keep playing along and maybe one day we'll get the hang of it and end up happy.
Does anything in life make you happy? Video games, friends, dogs, biking, exploring, anything like that? We all need something to look forward to.
Getting super depressed this time of year since my birthday is coming up. I'll spend this one alone just like all the others. I hate that I'm so broken that I can't make friends and my family thinks I'm weird as hell. I'll buy myself a small cake and a couple of presents that I wrap myself. And then cry myself to sleep for about 24 hours.
i'll just leave this here
you'll never be 15 and in love
lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting
not worrying about rent, bills, student loans
only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on monday
you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to cum all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"
you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits
you're in your 20's now
gotta get a good job
gotta be a serious man now
all the good ones are taken
maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you
they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter
you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy
you have missed out on teenage love
>>24300029
Yeah all the protesters and college culture have irked me to the point of wanting to quit. Some BLM people were shouting near the campus square, thankfully I wasn't there that day. I have some family connections (not exactly a trustfund kid, but my family is well off enough to give me a job at some point). I'm studying business management right now. I feel like the degree itself will be meaningless to most employers but I think the skills I acquire will be good if I'm working for my parents, etc. I wasn't good enough for science in high school so I crossed that off early (I mean I could fake it for good grades, but I'm not actually good). I'm a freshman so I guess the 4.0 (especially in business) doesn't mean much right now. I am making some connections. I joined a club with a bunch of business Latino kids like me. Not sure how good of quality these connections are but only time will tell. As for my old friends, I'm keeping in contact but I just don't spend a lot of time with them. I think I'm going to get a job in the summer somewhere since I'll have nothing to do and I don't want to be thinking about how lonely I am in that frame of time. Any ideas for a good first job?
I've never actually visited Colorado so the change to cold might be tough since where I'm living now is somewhat hot. I'll see.
>>24300398
I didn't come here to be made more sad
>>24296469
Give me some birch beer mixed with some Captain Morgan Barkeep, it's a drink I made myself called "Birch Morgan" I'd highly recommend you try some yourself.
I'm a freshman in uni and so far my grades are pretty good, but despite how hard I've been trying I still feel like I've been slacking. Every moment not studying is procrastination, or so it feels that way. I have a large Biology exam I'm not at all prepared for tomorrow, however as I'm a Political Science major I'm not looking to ace it anyways.
I feel guilty for not bringing in my own income at the moment either as well. I live off of a $100 monthly allowance from my parents as they don't want work distracting me from my studies, I just hope I can be truly independent soon and begin to repay them. That said, my line of work requires that I move to Washington DC, so I won't be seeing them much after college anyways.
>>24300114
Wont be the same man. Ive been lifting for three years but in three months Ive discovered that im better than all the other muscians around me(sorry if that sounds like bragging. I talk about music too much on this site tbf famalam.)Worst part is im white (exceptional rapper)and Still talk about it too much because music understands me and I understand it. Idk man its just weird.
I think the girl I've had a big two year crush on might see me as more than a friend. She has a bf that I've never met, and from what I hear of him, I just get the vague impression he's a tool. If I do fuck her I will get rid of my accursed virginity, but it would also mean she's a bad gf if she cheats on him.
Oh, and I'll have a root beer bottle full of captain Morgan please
>>24300443
enjoy it
>>24300443
Don't be teenage love is overrated drama.
Why can't I just have a beer to enjoy the taste without it making me so fragile emotionally?
Barkeep, jack and coke please.
I was barkeep about a week or so ago. just checking in. here we go story time.
>be me
>get invited to normie party by old friend from highschool
>"s-sure, anon.."
>show up in pajamas at around 9:35
>hot girls and chads everywhere
>immediately spotted out by friend
>"Hey anon! come over here i got to introduce you to someone"
>his fucking fiance..
>HOT as FUCK
>"uhm, hi... me and your fiance used to go to school together"
>she does her greeting and usual bullshit of looking at me and being disgusted.
>for the rest of the night I stare her down constantly looking at her 10/10 body.
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>Noticed by her
>"Ew! i knew you were a freak. Hey! Anon i'm talking to you!"
>"s-sorry...."
>walks out and leaves
Why the fuck do i even bother trying. What the fuck is this.
>>24300494
That's your thing then. Your true talent. Revel in it, not everyone has it. Be proud
>>24300398
I'm so far gone that vanilla sex, cuddling, and laying down in a field of tall grass and watching the night sky are actual fetishes of mine.
Just fucking kill me
>>24300566
please be a joke if not man I'm sorry
>>24300040
>better talent
Music is fun, I wish I'd kept it up after highschool. Fighting, well depending on your school it can be nice. Do you live somewhere you can hike, or bicycle? Those are pretty robot-friendly hobbies.
>>24300097
Bachelors and girls are both pretty hard, hombre. You need any liquid courage for that proposal? Good to hear your family's still eating dinners together, i come from a nuclear family myself and the amount of broken families on this board always hurts me. If your family's there for you, don't forget that.
>>24296582
Shoot man, I missed your post, either I was too buzzed or my browser wasn't loading it. But I'm in those shoes a lot, just keep on going. The more you talk to people the better you get at it.
Dangit man, I'm so sorry I missed my first poster here. You drink free, tonight.
>>24300148
Weird, I know a fair amount of people like you but I've never understood it. At least you have something, though, right? You probably have a good personality, and shit that's better than a nice face in my opinion. I don't give free drinks to people with nice faces.
>>24300184
Hey, we're all good here. No shame in what you drink at this bar, my friend. Some of us are just having Coke or water tonight, anyway.
>>24296469
Whiskey and ginger ale please
and kill me families
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1OLp8u5vuA
>>24300566
>lusting over a friend's SO
Rookie mistake.
>>24300593
feel it bro
>>24300566
I've been in that situation several times, my friend. You get numb, after a while.
>>24300629
See here
>>24300494
Also lemme get a diet coke barkeep.
>>24300493
You could either by 5 5ths of alcohol or half an o with that money. What do you do?
>>24300629
>Bachelors and girls are both pretty hard, hombre. You need any liquid courage for that proposal? Good to hear your family's still eating dinners together, i come from a nuclear family myself and the amount of broken families on this board always hurts me. If your family's there for you, don't forget that.
I really hope I shouldn't have to have a drink before class to make the proposal. My school does have a literal bar on the first floor open during the day, though...
But yeah, my family is tight as fuck. Me and my parents, at least.We are together beyond genetics. We're family in spirit. We've been together as a group for many life-times. We all remember. It's some deeper shit. I'll always have them. This time I have the pleasure of being the kid. I've been my father's father before, and tons of other mixes, sometimes just acquaintances. I'll never be ungrateful of what I have.
>>24300705
I get two handles of liquor for $40 twice a month and then get an eighth of weed every so often using some money I get publishing newspaper articles.
I've just finished 1/4 of my 750 mL bottle of jack in 10 minutes. I'm not even getting a glass, I've been drunk straight from the bottle.
I'm only 20. I'd font know what I even do this to myself anymore
>>24300783
That's good self restraint
>>24300392
Spending your birthday alone is fine, but remember if you tell peple it's your birthday they might come! Even people in class you've never talked to, there's a certain charm about a quiet kid inviting you to his party.
You want a drink for those feels? Here's a glass of water in the meantime.
>>24300398
I had teenage love, in fact I was actually 15 and in love (marching band romance, it's a big incestuous family in marching band) lying on the grass hill at Band Camp watching the stars with her and trying to stealthily touch a boob.
Round on the house for that, anon. Why must you bring up such feels?
>>24300425
Family connections are gold, I wish I'd used mine a few years ago back in Houston. And even a degree in Art History fills that "Bachelor's" requirement on a lot of apps.
>first job
Anything big-box, Walmart or Home Depot or something. Relatively little expected of you, so long as you don't pussy out when asked to move a bunch of boxes. You will, after all, be the store bitch. But it's a valuable resume entry, plus of course the cash.
>lonely
Summers really do suck for the socially impaired. I preferred the summers where I took summer classes.
>>24300493
Birch/Morgan it is.
>no income
Hey no big deal, you're a uni student. As someone who was in your shoes with your thoughts, I wish I'd been able to allow myself a little self-esteem without being fully self-providing. It's really ok.
>>24300518
>more than a friend
>has a bf
I've been in your shoes, and let me tell you, that's not a hornet's nest you want to poke. Let's even assume the bf just leaves you be and is perfectly ok with it, you still don't want to be with the kind of girl who keks her bf for some other dude.
Here's your bottle, classy choice if you don't mind my saying.
>inb4 fedora jokes
>>24300559
Never tried it myself, but is non-alcoholic beer any good?
>tfw you actually enjoy the taste of most beer now
Alcoholism is a dark road, brother. Could be worse, tho, I guess.
>>24300705
only 5 fifths? you could stretch it to close to 10 and still not rot your gut.
i'd personally buy acid with it if i could. the connection is long gone.
>Evan Williams bourbon and coke.
Not great, but better than being sober.
>>24300970
Ah, I might just take summer classes then. I'm technically ahead and on track to graduate a year early though...
For first job I was thinking something in hotels like working at the Ritz although I never thought about big-box. I'll look into that.
Hopefully I'll get a dog by the summer. I'll at least have one friend and something to keep me going. Looking into getting a Maltese. Any suggestions for hypoallergenic dogs?
Hey bartender.
>>24298956 here.
Had the beer like you suggested.
Didn't do much.
Should I have a handle of whiskey before bed?
>>24301097
oh boy you're gonna have a headache
>>24300375
>Does anything in life make you happy? Video games, friends, dogs, biking, exploring, anything like that? We all need something to look forward to.
I use to look forward to the future but now I just feel like I'm in a pit and I can't get out. I'm sorry.
>>24300566
Stared too long? I have to consciously dance around that, sometimes. I know some guys with some DAMN fine women, anywhere from casual-dating to married-with-kids. It's rough, the worst is the realization that you'll statistically never have anything like that.
Thanks for bringing your dubs tonight, here's a Hefeweizen for your troubles.
>>24300692
Just the coke, no alcohol? Sure thing, brother.
>>24300710
>We all remember
That's a feel I don't know, closest I've come is some truly lingering dreams that touched me in a strange way (no homo).
Propose away, man. How's that courage, though, liquid or no? And yeah, I'd agree, drinking before asking a girl out just sounds like some bad mojo.
>>24300901
What drives you to the bottle in such a way, my man? And though I do allow outside drinks in my bar (bartender policy, others may vary), if you want something else lemme know. I'm a beer man myself, I'm too /lazy/ to make mixed drinks and straight liquor gets me passed-out drunk far too fast.
>>24301189
>How's that courage, though, liquid or no?
I don't know.
I keep telling myself I'll ask her, and I have plenty perfect moments to, but I don't.
I think what adds too much pressure is the fact that we're also sitting with other people, and that they will hear me.
I don't know how to let go of that.
The roommates avoid me. I've been considered weird by the people around me my whole life. I've been specifically told I give off a weird vibe. I know I'm insecure, paranoid, beta, whatever you like. But when I actually put myself out there to spend some time and chat they hide?
I was in the living room all day just watching Sunday football. They would occasionally come out to grab a snack or go take a leak but not a word was spoken to me much less did they sit down to watch with me.
As soon as I retired to my room, yes you guessed it, lots of conversations and laughs.
Also worth mentioning the small detail that these are my old "friends" of at least 7 (seven) years.
Where did I go wrong?
>>24301246
You'll have to give more information.
Sounds fucked up, but you're also being a little vague.
>>24297866
Reading this whole exchange gave me vivid memories of sitting behind my crush in year ten English class. I used to stare at her for hours. Every part of her body was perfect. She had the most delicate beautiful ears. I fell in love with her nose, that's how fantastic it was.
I remember vividly one morning looking at her peach fuzz and thinking it was so beautiful. It added an extra layer of softness to her already dreamy complexion.
I never asked for this feel. I wish I could find another person that flawless ever again.
But if you're still here, I guess my point is when you find another person attractive, you don't care about little things like peach fuzz. You're almost certainly overthinking it.
>>24301246
Was it always like this? Did it happen suddenly? Gradually?
>>24301097
>Evan Williams bourbon and coke
First-ever mixed drink I made was Skyy and Kool-Aid. You're above bottom, my friend. If you need more bourbon, give me a holler.
>>24301119
>Maltese
Well honestly I'm not a huge fan of small dogs, larger ones just seem to be more intelligent and well-behaved/easily-taught, in my experience -- not that good small dogs don't exist, or bad large dogs. If you are definitely looking for a small one, though, I'd stay away from anything with Chiahuahua blood. No /dogracist/, I've just never met a Chihuahua (mix or pure) that was well-behaved or quiet. No knowledge on Maltese, though.
I really do wish I had a stable enough home/professional life to get a dog, but someday man. Someday.
>>24301124
>didn't do much
Christ man we've got a real Spartan here. I feel for you guys, it's gotta be expensive to keep your whistle wet. Do what you need to, man, you want a shot? Yeah, I know you do, here ya go. Bottoms up.
>>24301150
>sorry
Chum, do not apologize for being sad! Do you ever just go places and actively try to be happy? The mall, restaurants (fast-food, not anything high-dollar), the park if the weather's nice, etc? And have you tried hiking or exploring, if you can do either without being mugged where you live?
Happiness is somewhere, man, and it's a different place for everyone. What do you daydream about? Even if it's unachievable, pick one tiny aspect -- even if it's the same jacket you're wearing in the daydream, or the same location, even if it's just the same weather make a point to go outside when the weather's that way.
I'm only saying it because I've been in a (slightly) similar place, and focusing on the small aspects of happiness helped me to realize that it was something I could work towards. It helps you stay alive, and maybe one day you'll truly want to be alive.
>>24296469
Hi barkeep
Why am I a sadist, but I also really love woman?
I mean I feel about woman the way I used to feel about getting home from school to play WoW.
I mean, I love the beautiful creatures....
but I just love hurting them as well.
not physically so much, I just like breaking their minds
2 ex's killed themselves, 2 now completely psycho bitches. The rest are doing sub par and have little success at anything.
I need to stay away from them
Wojack, there are no passable traps in my area and I desperately want to fuck one. Horrible feel.
I'd probably just regret it anyway
>>24301240
>keep telling myself I'll ask her
Wait too long, and from personal experence, I can say that generally the spark will disappear even if it was there to begin with. Not to meme, but women don't generally want men who can't take initiative. We all need more of that valuable natural resource.
>other people
Do you have her phone number? Don't use text, but call her. Or, better, ask if she wants to do something like walk along [path] or grab a dinner or something.
Heck, man, worst comes to worst she'll say no. And you'll be able to move on with your life, even improve yourself.
>>24301246
>I've been specifically told I give off a weird vibe. I know I'm insecure, paranoid, beta, whatever you like
>where did I go wrong
Socialization is like a muscle, or really like any other knowledge, if you go "7 years" without using it it's a lot harder to do algebra than it was back when you were doing it every day in school.
I can't really say much 'cause I don't know what problems they see in you any more than you do, but sperging out is real and a problem. Whenever you see "sperging out" greentext stories, do you see yourself? Whenever I do, I try to be conscious of it.
But then, being overly self-conscious of yourself whenever you socialize is also kinda cringe-y, so who knows. When did you stop making new friends and being invited to parties/gatherings? Can you pinpoint any general changes from that point in your life?
>>24301484
Well next year I think I mightmove back in with my parentsso it might be a stable enough life for a dog. It doesn't have to be a small dog, just hypoallergenic. I looked into labradoodles but they seem expensive. My friend had a Chihuahua, too small for my taste but she was well behaved enough. I just want to have something to take care of call a friend. I guess I feel it would give me purpose...
>>24301665
>Do you have her phone number?
Don't have it.
We talk (in text) on facebook and stuff.
>>24301503
>Why am I a sadist, but I also really love woman?
>2 ex's killed themselves, 2 now completely psycho bitches
Holy shit man. That's an awful high score, and I do mean awful.
Sexual sadism is alright, tons of girls are totally into that, but that's weird man. Do you have any females, or even any males, whom you truly respect? Do you consciously want to ruin them, do you get pleasure from it subconsciously, or is it a thing that just happens?
>>24301517
Can't advise you on the trap thing. But they do tend to be full loco, not that you don't already (hopefully) know that. Regret? Maybe. I'm of the opinion that there's not much to regret unless you get an STD, a lawsuit, or spend way too much money.
>>24301343
>>24301445
Just been living with them since end of August. Things started well, the four of us would converse plenty, play FIFA, and occasionally go eat out.
It's not like they ever dragged me along. I was happy to go and talk a little bit. I'm actually a kinda funny guy when I'm with people I feel I can trust.
One of them is my cousin. I thought we were cool. I even showed him /sp/ a while back and he liked the memes. I showed one of the other guys as well but he didn;t really get the site so he didn't like it much. But before all this we would always exchange gifs and vids of soccer and other funny stuff.
Because of me they all started using terms like alpha and beta, or chads and staceys, or kek and whiteknight. Hear me out here, it might sound cringy but they think it's funny and they even spread those chan terms with a couple other of our friends and we would all have a good time memeing irl. (strictly between ourselves of course)
But in the past few month or so they've gradually been leaving me out of fast food runs, not inviting me to outings, leaving me alone in the living room. I don't really understand. The last time we were all together was a couple weeks ago at our uni's soccer match and I was talking plenty and making them laugh. We went to Wendy's afterwards and reflected on high school anecdotes. Two of us are juniors in college, one is a sophomore, one is a freshie.
And, well, that's really all the details there are leading up to what I outlined in my first post.
It's now obvious to me that they'd rather not have me present but what do I do? I guess just keep allowing myself to get isolated rather than force myself to be around them before they start hating me if they don't already.
>>24301692
If you want a loyal dog you can truly call a "friend" like those old movies teach, I'd recommend a Labrador or a Shepherd. But they're not very small, and hardly hypoallergenic. If your parents have enough land that it can be an outside dog, it's possible though, depending on the severity of your allergies.
I had a small dog, a Yorkshire terrier actually, when I was a wee lad. It really did give me a sense of purpose and a friend. I'd beg that you raise it right, and truly give it love and affection. A dog won't be your friend any more than a human will, if you don't make it/him/her feel valued and loved.
But seriously, if you do move back in, first off no shame in that (I know tons of people who did that) and secondly I hope it works out great. Dogs are really wonderful.
>>24301724
I don't know man. Ask her out somewhere solo, like I said a walk or a cheap meal perhaps? If she feels half of what you do, I'm sure she'll agree. If not, then maybe she has other obligations or something. But you'll never know until you ask.
>>24301484
>Do you ever just go places and actively try to be happy?
I can't afford to. I'm hoping to get a promotion before Christmas so I can.
>And have you tried hiking or exploring, if you can do either without being mugged where you live?
I use to run. It was good exercise (I'm a fatty) but now with it getting colder and darker I can't do my runs at 6:30 anymore
>What do you daydream about?When I'm at work I think about the kid I could be having right now. Reading to them, taking them places. Maybe I have baby fever. I was learning French maybe I should try again.
Coffee, whatever medium roast you have, just make sure it's brewed with freshly ground beans. All I have at home is month old pre-ground garbage.
I'm a NEET. My uncle (no actual relation), who's been better than my own father, can't sustain me anymore but I can't function where I am.
I have no license, and no car in a place with no public transportation.
My friend who said he'd let me live with him in his new house changed his mind. I don't think we're friends anymore.
My brother has no room for me, and doesn't seem to like me. We've never been close, since we were separated at a young age.
No other family, no friends.
I'm a robot, and there's no place for me except this website. And even then, my internet connection is shit. I'll be homeless soon.
To top it all fucking off, I asked my friend on steam to play a game with me, and he said he would. I asked him a day later and he said he was busy, but would later. Now i've seen him playing another game with our other friends for the last 2 days and it just depresses me.
I deserve it though, I just disappeared for like 5 months without saying anything, I can't just come back and act like nothing has changed.
I left because I felt like a bother though, I couldn't play that game with them because it ate up all of my bandwidth with updates, and then I just felt like I didn't belong since I wasn't playing games with them.
>>24301794
Not to but in, but it really does sound like you might be "revealing your power level" a bit much, here. Any chan speak IRL is kinda cringe-y, but it sounds like you're ramping it up past the "he browses Reddit sometimes" levels to the full-on "people probably know him by name on 4chan" level.
For me, I've always tried to seperate internet stuff from IRL stuff as much as possible, Facebook excepted from that of course just because Facebook is by-and-large IRL stuff (I hide all those meme pages and whatnot, so it's basically just peoples' status updates).
*falls asleep listening to quiet music on headphones*
>>24301890
>I can't afford to
Just because you're at the mall doesn't mean you need to buy anything. And parks are free.
>can't run anymore
Do you work out inside? And I don't mean gym memberships, but even a few pushup/crunch/squat reps? Getting your blood flowing does help a lot, endorphins and stuff I think.
Think about how you'd raise the kid then, the kind of shirts you'd wear as a dad, the kind of /dadfood/ you'd make? Do you ever prepare food, for that matter, even mac'n'cheese?
>>24301912
Coffee it is, Columbian beans here, we get a fresh box every day.
>NEET
Well I guess in your position, the only solutions are NEETbux or #getajobhippie.
When I needed a job, I treated jobsearch as a fulltime position, sunup to sundown I was browsing Craigslist jobswanted and filling out those godawful corporate apps for places like Walmart and McDonalds.
Also, if you're remotely /fit/, don't be afraid of physical labor. Anywhere from a three-man landscaping crew to your state's (if burger) Highway Department is looking for chums who can shovel for a few hours without crying about triggers and gender stereotypes.
Friday night's are just the start of the countdown to Monday morning when you're a loser.
Heya Barkeep, read last night's thread all cozy in bed, first time posting in these threads so here's to that.
I'll take some Gin and Jones' Apple Soda
As for Jukebox Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFWOAH-PNvk
I don't have much to say, other than I wish things could have been different back then.
>>24301993
/comfy/ bands?
>>24302080
No apostrophe needed senpai.
>>24301665
But the weird vibe thing was in elemenary school. I guess I've always been a little different. I think you misunderstood, I've known these guys for around seven years but throughout high school I was always in a good mood and somewhat talkative. I would never say full blown extroverted normie, but definitely not a creepy edgelord. LIke I said in my second post, even a little funny. Teachers appreciated me very much, especially the older ones. Classmates spoke to me and with some I engaged in friendly banter with. Especially with a couple guys who browsed /b/, /pol/, and /k/. Believe me, I never went up to someone and asked bluntly what websites they browse. With time and socializing we kinda just found each other out and we would occasionally sneak some edgy references within conversations. But that's it. Never escalated beyond subtlety. They were in on it too and keks were had. Despite all this I've never had a close friend. It feels as if everyone has always kept me at a distance.
>>24301917
I'm hearing you, you could be right, but these guys don't know that this website is as degenerate as it gets. I only showed them /sp/ and some ironic memes and they thought it was funny. Hell, they throw around the word nigger more than I ever had and before I ever mentioned a word about this site. And they laugh at nigger hate memes. It's not like these guys are politically correct normies.
>>24302106
contributing comfy music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BuVLolwt24
>>24299500
Thanks so much man, seriously. This post made me feel so much better
>>24302080
I work weekends so I know the opposite of that feel. Mondays are my relax/"I will never have responsibilities" day. Of course, if I get that Parks job in Oregon, that'll change #lehopefulface
>>24302089
Gin and Jones' comin' up, friend and comrade. Thanks for the tunes.
>back then
I think that's a feel we can all get behind. Highschool memories or what?
>>24301871
Thanks, 'Keep. I was thinking of getting a Yorkshire Terrier, maybe mixed with a poodle or something. I'm not sure if I'm allergic to Labs, but I think my dad is. I'll probably try for a Lab when I have a house of my own. I'll raise the dog and treat it better than anything else. I think I might love it to the point that it would be the only thing I care about besides my actual family. The idea of having a dog is the only thing I care about at the moment anyway. I guess we'll see.
>>24302062
Thanks. I'm going to try and get more active.
>>24302198
Thanks doc
It goes a little further back, childhood and stuff. Wasn't raised with the best parents but they tried their best when they could and now
I guess the repercussions of that childhood are just showing up
>>24296469
Just the bottle of Jack, sit and the corner and imagine im browsing r9k in real life
>>24302136
Hell I'm no licensed psychiatrist, but that's the only conclusion I can draw from what you've said. You say they don't know the depravity of the robot, but especially with recent media attention, many people think it's even worse than it is. The more 'chan speak you let slip into IRL, the more they may (may) be wondering if you're the person the media's talking about when they say "The EVIL 4chan board ROBOT NINE THOUSAND is LITERALLY encouraging school shooters and breeding rapists!"
On the other hand, you may just be getting pretty cringe-y. There's a lot of times I have to consciously reign myself back because I know how cringe-y it'll suond if I say what I wanted to, because of how much time I spend here.
Or maybe I'm full of shit. That's for you to decide, you'd know better than I.
>>24302159
That was awful /comfy/, friend and anon.
You want a drink? Half off for the jukebox tune.
>>24302171
I'm glad I could help man, I'm tearing up re-reading what little I wrote about my grandad. Life's hell and so is losing people. We need to talk about it sometimes.
>>24298884
Thanks keep. I guess it's 5 years really, I'm in my early 20s and she's 18 (seems much more mature mentally though). Not full-on oneitis due to my being rational and wary of the situation. She actually just gave me a call, we went for tacos. Her body language and the way she acts around me make it seem like she has feelings for me, but the timing is just terrible. I am pretty /fit/, not jacked but I'm lean and in pretty good shape. I'm not nearly as depressed now as I used to be due to lifestyle changes, and it's more just a cynical (and somewhat realistic) worldview. I haven't talked to her about my dysthymia, only with a couple close friends.
It's just such a confusing situation for a social recluse, and I have no idea what to think of it.
I'll have a shot of Fireball please. It's getting pretty chilly around here.
>>24302106
The National is /comfy/ but can also be /sad/ at times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6p_qe45miY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCEr4XbyLR8
>>24302159
Good taste, anon.
>>24302201
You sound like a good man, my friend. If it's your first dog, I'd advise you to read up on training tips; it's not just to ensure the dog sits when you tell it to, dogs are really uncomfortable without clearly-defined authority and routine. If it's not, then you probably know what you're doing.
>>24302208
Getting the chemicals moving helps. Even if you're not getting /fit/, even getting to the point where you're breathing heavy for a few seconds releases some of those endorphins or whatever. Here's to us, maybe someday we'll get off our asses and be /chad/ benching ten thousand pounds, fucking a hundred girls a night or having a 10/10 waifu.
>>24302230
If they tried, it means they loved you. That's all I'd be able to do as a parent, for what it's worth. If they loved you, then there was something worth loving, yeah?
>>24302345
>robot in real life
Good lord, do you watch Gravity Falls? It would be Weirdmageddon all over the place.
Barkeep give something anything really
I messaged this one girl on snapchat after not messaging her for a week. She didnt reply. Ive kinda lost hope but she hasnt unadded me so there's something. Also later she posted on her story at a restaurant saying "only two more hours" which is i assume is her job, so theres that. What do i do barkeep?
Bar keep your strongest whiskey please.
God dammit guys where do I even begin? I go to work for gregory ilinovich and all day long I work. I dont even know what I'm doing anymore and honestly I dont know if gregory ilinivich does either. He only knows that he has power over me and that seems to bring him happiness. But I dont know. I wake up in a malaise, and I pace and pace at night. Sometimes I wake up and turn to some old lady in my bed. A lady that I once loved. All fallen into shadow. With nowhere to turn.
And the hardest pill to swallow, is my son. My son. I don't love him anymore. When I look in his eyes I see the same cowardice that infests me. The same cowardice I see when I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror. If only I wasnt such a coward then perhaps, I could bring myself to get that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all
>>24302427
Thanks for your responses pal. I'm going to lay off using any internet language irl. In fact I'm going to hang low for a while and then try interacting again later on and see if anything changes.
If worse comes to worse I'll just play it solo mode from that point on. Just a year and a half left and I'm out of here.
>>24302446
>I'm in my early 20s and she's 18
Call me jaded, but I'm only mid-twenties and any woman under 21 is instant-red-flag to me. It's not particularly a moral judgement, but it's a fully different world to people that age, particularly women that age. Are you capable of keeping sex and romance seperate? I'm not, chalk it up to my biology or my Christian upbringing, but if you are then I'd say what the hell, keep going. If not, well I guess your two options are obvious; force the issue on her or stop putting your schlong inside her.
Goddamn though, sex is nice, I don't know what I'd do in that position.
>>24302582
Val Jester's my favorite TN, but I'm not a big follower. Sorrow's definitely good too, though.
>Sorrow waited
>Sorrow won
It touches you.
>>24302614
Yeah I'll definitely study up on that type of stuff when it gets closer to the date of adoption. I've looked at housetraining tips etc. I'm mostly just seeing what breed would be right for me. Poodles seem to be the smartest, but a Yorkie/Maltese seems like it would be easier to maintain. I'll keep researching before I actually choose the next member of the family.
>>24302655
>strongest whiskey
You got it, in spades. Dr. ABV, MD, in the house
If you're not RPfagging, then that sucks upon a large penis, man. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else, in my experience. If only for your son, find things you can respect about yourself, then show him those aspects but as a friend, not a drill sargeant.
If you loved a woman once, then you once knew how to love. Try to move back towards that, I suppose? Not in the sense of becoming who you were back then, but merely moving back towards the ability to take pride in yourself and your accomplishments.
>>24302676
>lay off
Even if your friends didn't give a shit, I'd advise it. Internet-speak is generally bad, I'm sure we all know one of those girls who speaks in Tumblr memes to the point where she doesn't say a single original sentence in an entire day of socialization. Imagine yourself in that position, just replace "Tumblr" with "4chan."
Good luck, man. A drink on the house, for trying to better yourself. Not enough of that sentiment these days, it seems, myself included.
i really have to get a job
ive spent over $1500 on vodka over the last 6 months and now im broke
>>24302751
>"I don't wanna get over you"
Sorrow gets me every time. Especially since I've had to move past every crush I've had because they're too infatuated with other people or just aren't interested.
>tfw one of my crushes said yes to senior prom with me but said she changed her mind a week before the date and then went with my other friend right after
It hurts.
Why the fuck are women so obsessed with themselves? My former robot proto-C.H.A.D dragged my dilapidated ass out of my nest for a night of excruciating annoyance, this whore will not let anyone but herself get in a word edgewise. She tells me about her profound taste in music such as obscure top 40 artists. If it wasn't for opiates I would have jumped out of the fucking window by now
>>24302828
>easier to maintain
All I can say is that, provided you're already getting a hypoallergenic breed, 90% of "maintenance" is training.
And of course, buying from a private party is always better, buying from a kennel or professional (read: main source of income) breeder is both lower-quality genetics and (in my opinion) immoral. But again, it sounds like you're definitely doing your research, I'm sure you'd heard that before.
I'm a fucking mess, barkeep.
I'm in love with a girl over 6000 miles away.
I'm fucking another, who is just a few minutes away.
The girl a few minutes away is in love with me, the same age.
She's great.
The girl 6000 miles away ran away with my heart. She's 10 years older with kids...
I'm bad at love. Give me something strong..
>>24302917
>$1500
>six months
dear lord, man.
What are you fighting with that? Rejection, death, depression, something like that? I mean, party bros aside, a healthy man doesn't spend that much on alcohol -- especially cheap vodka.
>>24302940
>tfw one of my crushes said yes to senior prom with me but said she changed her mind a week before the date and then went with my other friend right after
Highschool is pretty much a music video to "My Best Friend's Girl." But fuck me if it doesn't still make me rustled.
>>24302977
>Why the fuck are women so obsessed with themselves?
I'm a bartender, not a biopsychologist. I try to view it as a necessary dichotomy, I convince myself that if we didn't have women around to give us happiness and contentment with our shitty lives, WWII would never have ended and we would have just had a nuclear war with Russia.
Obligatory, though:
>obscure
>top 40
Terminology, friend.
Came in here for something to wash down my pipe with.
I'll take a ballast point sculpin.
>inb4 beerfagsnob
Not lookin for trouble. I'm not a beer snob but my older brother got me into IPAs . They taste good and remind me of good times with him. We live in different cities though.
Anyway, I'm just here for a beer and a smoke. You'll hear me complain another night.
Thanks.
Cheers.
>>24302985
Oh wow. I thought kennels being bad were just a meme. My dad always talked about adopting the dog from the kennel whenever we discussed it. Now that I think about it, it does seem pretty immoral. I'll probably buy from a private party then. Is there a particular site that's good for adopting dogs from private parties or do I have to take my chances with the Craigslist killers?
>>24303146
its about $15 per bottle so about 3 bottles a week
i dont think its that much alcohol
>>24303032
>6000 miles
Worst i've done is 2500 miles. If you don't mind the invasion of your privacy, what's your country and what's hers?
>10 years older with kids
We're going to need a lot of alcohol for this. Here's three shots of Jack, call me back over when you're thinking less soberly. A lot less soberly.
What's wrong with the girl next door, though? Too loose, too ditzy, too political? Remember, even if you talk all the time, you hardly know this long-distance girl. Even with modern video calls and everything, you can (unconsciously, even) broadcast a totally different personality over the internet than IRL.
>implying I'm not speaking from experience
>>24303146
>grey goo
what kind of vodka drink is this
>>24303146
Well thank ya barkeep. The terminology thing, I was trying to attempt to explain in an ironic but ball busting fashion. Do you could slip me a nice glass of bourbon doc?
>>24303222
I'll take those shots. Thanks.
I'm US, she's in Romania..
I'm so in love with her I don't care she has kids and a shit past. I can love her kids. I love her so much...
I've flown to meet her once. Stayed a week. She rejected me and I'm still hung on her.
I don't think there's enough alcohol..
>What's wrong with the girl next door, though?
Nothing. She gets me, she accepts me, and all my bullshit.
She came to see me when I was sick and cuddled with me. She's fucking perfect.
I love them both, differently.
I hate myself right now.
>>24302751
It's a red flag for me as well, but she somehow seems different from people her age. She's been through some stuff it seems. I'm not sure if I'm capable, but at the same time I don't want to force the issue this soon as it'd be unfair - she's just gotten out of a relationship of a few years. I will probably just keep it going for a while but try not to get too attached. Could end either very well or very badly
>>24303162
>ballast point
Been a while since I've seen one of those around these parts.
>beerfagsnob
Nothing wrong with being a beersnob, friend and comrade. You're the first smoker we've had tonight, we just had newer fans installed so as long as you sit at the smoking side of the bar it's fine here.
>>24303167
Yep, not to moralfag here but it's definitely lower-class on average. Basically, even leaving aside the whole issue of breeders loving their dogs vs. kennels seeing their dogs as revenue, you're looking at dogs whose lineage has been hand-selected for generations vs. dogs who are pretty much bred with whatever keeps their lines "purebred" as far as AKC (if you're burger, if not then whatever your equivalent is) paperwork goes.
Being non-kennel-bred can make for better behavior, but more pressing are the health issues. Private-bred will rarely have major genetic health issues unless endemic to the breed (for instance, I think larger dogs like Great Danes have unavoidable hip problems), because the breeder selects his dog's mate. Kennels rarely select in this way. My aunt had a kennel-bred (AKC-registered) terrier, and it had a ridiculous amount of health problems. Talking to other people, both breeders and mere owners, it's a very common issue.
>>24303367
Well it seems like you've got it all pretty clear cut.
>rejected
and
>perfect
I'd go with perfect m8. You've got to cuddle with the girl next door. That's better than anything I could imagine. Then again I haven't cuddled with anyone...
>>24303413
Hmm...so should I just do Craigslist to adopt when it comes time then? Where did you adopt your family's yorkshire terrier from?
>>24303429
I'm sorry barkeep.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't either.
My life changed a few months ago and I wish I could go back.
Women can make you go crazy, doesn't matter if you think you're immune.
You're not.
For 25 years I always thought love was something only retards can feel.
Then I fell, and keep falling.
It's not enjoyable. It's not fun.
I'm more alone now than I have ever been.
>>24296469
Hey, Barkeep.
I'll take whatever Vodka you prefer.
I've been worrying so much lately about the fact that I always feel like I'm too late to start the things I want to do. You ever feel that way?
I feel like theres so much I want to do, but I wait until I feel like it's too late because I'm unmotivated. I mean, if I was like, fuckin' 50 years old, it would obviously be a bit late to like, start a band or something. I don't know, should I even be worrying about this?
>>24303499
That wasn't Barkeep, it was just me >>24303491 the dogfag. I guess I haven't actually fallen in love before. All I've ever had were crushes on people who've all let me down in the end. I'm sorry for the feels that you feel. Hopefully one day soon you'll be emotionally strong enough to move on and go for the one you've deemed perfect. Who knows, maybe neither of the women are the one you'll end up with. I'm sure everything will work out in the end.
>>24303253
I just grabbed every vodka out of the freezer, anon, I can't control the average quality. What's your preferred poison, I'm sure we have it somewhere back there.
>>24303256
>glass of bourbon
Here's two, second's on me. Maybe your humor attempts will get even funnier with a few drinks in ya.
>>24303367
>she rejected me
Well that's that, I mean anon this doesn't sound like something you should pursue too hard. I know I don't know your relationship or your life, but this has more red flags than a 1968 Russian Communist Party rally.
>she's perfect
Perfect girls don't come along too often, friend and brother. And when they do, they're generally taken by a man more perfect than you.
If I were you I'd ditch this Romanian chick, seriously do everything short of calling her a slut in public, and go for the girl next door. But shit, I'm not you, and I don't know this chick. At least you didn't get suckered into a greencard-marriage, is all I can say from your story.
You do you, man. Just don't fuck your life up too badly. Unless that's your fetish, in which case go ahead I guess.
>>24303377
Welp, as long as you know what you're getting into. Is she a college student? And are you college-educated, or a #memberofabluecollarcrowd? I know education levels are a huge indicator of success/compatibility, both from experience and hearsay.
Depends on her too, of course, though. I hardly know how she's "been through stuff," but maybe she is different from the normal crowd. End of the day, even if you're wrong and she's not, then it's just another failed relationship right? Can't make an omelette without fucking a few eggs who decide they didn't really want a relationship with you after all, at which point you realized getting into a relationship with an egg was weird as fuck and according to oppressive laws (come on, Senate, it's two thosuand plus ten and five) you can't even marry that egg.
Hey again, barman. Blowing on in for the second time. Looks like I got here a bit late. Couple pints of Yuengling won't do me too badly.
I recently had to write a lengthy and (hopefully) passionate appeal to my university department allowing me to retake a key class after completely stopping attendance mid-semester a couple years ago. I'm very loathe to give acute negative emotions and unstable mental state a clinical name, for reasons that were instrumental in my defeat of it in the first place.
But I swallowed my silly pride and wrote just exactly what I reckoned they'd need to hear for me to achieve me desired goal. I'm glad I did that.
After I leave my shift this morning, I've really got to clean my living area up. Fucking unacceptable the way I've got my shit right now.
After that, I'll tackle the next thing. It feels good to have less free time; the bittersweet exhaustion with the knowledge that "boy, I actually DID SHIT today".
I hope you boys are doing alright.
Another one by Morrison for the jukebox. I'm still not sure what to make of the inexplicable affinity I have for this man, dead nearly 2 decades before my birth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC0K2Jvz2W4
>>24303649
I am a university graduate, she is doing university online while working. Seems to be of similar socioeconomic status as me, if not maybe higher. She actually pays for me quite a bit despite me asking to at least split bills, and she did the same tonight. Love the egg analogy, 'keep, thanks for the advice.
>>24303649
Romania is still friendly, and I do enjoy her..
I don't want to just let her go. Her life is hard, she is scared. I am her friend to the end. I can't leave her. I love her.
It's a fucked up situation.
I'm still hung on Romania so I can't commit to someone else.
The Girl really does love me, and I love her.
I'm hurting. Fucking bad.
I love them both and I want to be for them both...
>>24303505
>you prefer
No a big vodka connoisseur, it's my Achilles' heel of alcohol. How's Grey Goose sound, though?
>too late
Mid twenties here, I still don't know what I want to do. I want to work for the gov't currently, though I can't say how much of that is honest assessment and how much is watching too much Parks & Rec.
>should I be worrying
Short story no -- in my opinion and going off my own life experiences, of course. When you 'need' to worry, you'll start worrying, I'd say. I'm 20-something and I have a vague course lined out, but heck that might all change next week. Whatever makes you feel alive, man.
i shit myself from drinking yesterday
now im drinking again at 2:43am on monday
>>24303732
>I'm very loathe to give acute negative emotions and unstable mental state a clinical name, for reasons that were instrumental in my defeat of it in the first place.
You echo my very thoughts. The main reason why I don't want to see a shrink and have him diagnose me, helpful though it may be, is because I'm afraid of falling into a pit of acceptance. You know, the "this is me, I'll never change because the doctor said so" thing, vs. "I'm abnormal and I need to work to fix it."
>a working man who takes pride in the cleanliness of his home
A man after my own heart. I can't explain why it's so important, or why i have no problem sleeping on dirt or in the back of a pickup truck for days but feel like my home isn't clean enough for me when I'm there.
Pints coming right up. Two, yeah? Better down'em fast or folk might get to calling you a homosexual 'round these pats.
Make your way through the univbersity paperwork system and you have my undying respect, man. That's a hellhole right there. And thanks for The Doors, that's some messed-up stuff that unfortunately falls into the "classic rock" bin too often, people forget lines like
>Yes, son I want to kill you Mother I want to fuck you
a lot of the time, I feel.
>>24303760
>online while working
That's better than being a frosh at some state uni majoring in English, to be sure. Like I said, you clearly know her better than I. Best of luck to you.
>>24303775
Emotions and hormones are difficult. I'd just beg that you not throw your life away on Romania, particularly not when you've got a loving girl at home waiting for you.
Wish I could give you better advice here, but honestly it sounds to me like you're giving up on a girl you like because you like another girl, even though she literally rejected you beforehand. Not to meme on you, but compare it to the /r9k/ wanks about girls complaining about being alone because none of the 10 proposals they got this week were from Tom Cruise.
>>24303805
>i shit myself from drinking yesterday
I'm going to assume you meant to say "stopped," in which case I know the feel. i don't buy alcohol unless I have very specific plans to drink it the same night, because I will drink it the same night whether or not I wanted to.
>>24303997
oh no i actually shit myself
i had to throw away a towel and pair of shorts
>>24304016
wew lad
you might want to slow down
>>24303975
I said this before last week; and as before I don't feel as though text is an appropriate medium to convey what I mean. But I respect what you're doing beyond words, and I place high value upon you for doing it.
>You echo my very thoughts. The main reason why I don't want to see a shrink and have him diagnose me, helpful though it may be, is because I'm afraid of falling into a pit of acceptance. You know, the "this is me, I'll never change because the doctor said so" thing, vs. "I'm abnormal and I need to work to fix it."
Right back at you, homie. It is uncommon, but some few others have shared the exact sentiments. My field of study is psychology (read: pseudoscience), with my focus undecided between counseling/therapy and research..among my eventual collegues, I believe my worldview or vaguely stoic philosophy will be uncommon.
I strongly feel that the "pit of acceptance" (good wording, btw) is already too prevelant when discussing mental aberrations. It is disrespectful, and in my view sinful to our species as a whole to claim the lack of capability to change any mental aspect of ourselves.
I dearly wish to learn enough through any medium in the coming years to be able to effectively assist in the synthesis of worldviews or perception that are simultaneously healthy, useful, and conducive to self-improvement. I don't know enough now. I must change that.
In terms of cleaning my shit up, I do differ from you, though. I don't place very much importance on a clean living space; it isn't something that gives me highly improved quality of life. However, this is the very reason I should get my shit on lock, make it spotless. It'll help keep me in the "get things done for fucks sake" mentality I need to stay in.
>>24304198
cont. because wall of text
I don't take offense to very much, and the things I do take offense to are fucking specific. Something I do actually take offense to is classifying certain extremely emotionally potent groups or artists with others that I feel exist only on their entertainment value. Like placing Morrison and the Doors alongside something decent like Van Halen or, God forbid, ACDC. They exist for totally different purposes.
This line from An American Prayer really resonates in me lately.
We have assembled inside this ancient and insane theatre,
To propagate our lust for life and flee the swarming wisdom of the streets.
It nearly perfectly describes the atmosphere of post-hardcore music shows I've been to. It is something of a religious experience, shared among a group that would otherwise never cross paths.
I'll be around for a while on this shift. Anyone wants to talk about anything, I'm down. Just a nearly-24 year old jackass driven simultaneously by the shame of his previous apathy, sloth, and inaction, and by a slightly far-fetched idealistic dream.
And I tend to lecture and be pretentious. Sorry for that.
did everyone pass out?
im only half way through this 750
>>24304198
Don't know why cleaning's so important to me. Might be because I live with roommates, sort of a pride thing. The times when I've had no roommates I've been way less clean.
Interesting stuff on the mediums, though. Are you into the New Age-y stuff?
That's so interesting, you're really offended by broad classification of classic rock?
>>24304400
Most of them, I think.
>>24304440
Ah.... a difficult question, really. I've got unconventional religious and spiritual beliefs that I prefer to keep private these days. I feel that these beliefs are intimate and powerful, to be kept between myself, that which I believe it, and those rare like-minded people.
It sounds very New Age-y I'm sure. I'm hoping that it isn't my admittedly present hipster/contrarian syndrome speaking, but I'd prefer not to identify with more established New Age sorts.
Oh, it isn't properly offense, I guess. It's...ah, I just find it internally unsettling when other people see a work of art that stirs me deeply emotionally and spiritually so very differently than I do. It sounds immature to put it that way; at least irrational. That's fine, I'm not a perfectly rational being in all respects.
OH FUCK I just realized I think you may have misunderstood my use of the term "medium".
I didn't mean a person involved in communication with the deceased or spirits and other entities. I just mean "medium" as in the difference between academic achievement, different types of life experience, meditation/prayer, epiphany, etc.
I'm inquisitive, but very intimidated by the paranormal. I don't believe that I am a being of enough power or maturity on any level to warrant dabbling in these sorts of things. Maybe in the future.
>>24304459
>>24303491
Dogfag still here. I'm awake, I guess I'll attempt to do a hundred push ups because I can't sleep. Give me a nice drink that'll knock me out afterward.
hey barkeep,
screwdriver please, make it double.
came into contact with an old lover(?) today. we met actually on 4chan and fuck i loved her. we did a ldr for awhile and she disappeared on me for 2 years and i spilled my guts to her today.
the thing is i have a gf now and she's on plenty of fish. we met off of there but i noticed she's back on it as i have a troll account as well. she hasn't brought anything up about it and i don't know what to think? is she using it for friends or is she trying to find someone better than me?
>>24304565
>you may have misunderstood my use of the term "medium".
I got what you meant. A medium isn't necessarily a human, but a human can be a medium, etc. etc.
And I fight it a lot, because nobody else really associates "Hello Seattle" with car accidents and loss, but I understand what you're saying on the association/art/emotions note too. It's still weird to me to realize people listen to Owl City and hear fun lighthearted tunes, rather than things that make them want to cry.
I'm a bit of a skeptic re: paranormal, can't say i'd be too afraid of anything but a lawsuit if someone drew a pentagram on my front door and started chanting in Latin. But I'm an open skeptic.
>>24304575
>knock me out
Have that rubbing alcohol that
>>24296985
was talking about. Should do the trick. He's probably dead by now from ingesting rubbing alcohol, you can finish off his flask for free.
who wants to take a shot?
>>24304703
Thenks, 30 more push ups to go. You never did tell me where you got your pup. Too private or can't remember?
>>24304687
>came into contact with an old lover(?) today. we met actually on 4chan and fuck i loved her. we did a ldr for awhile and she disappeared on me for 2 years and i spilled my guts to her today.
>the thing is i have a gf now and she's on plenty of fish. we met off of there but i noticed she's back on it
I don't know the first feel, but it sounds pretty rough. I know what it's like to be obsessed with a girl for multiple years, it sucks.
The second, well shit I had a gf who openly asked me for 'permission' to make a Tinder account. Shit got awkward fast, she told me she was just trolling it for #tehlulz and I pretended to believe her.
Relationships suck, man. Wish I could give better advice.
>>24296469
Hey bar tend I'll take an apple juice, I don't drink.
I've been so obsessively depressed and upset for the past year. I felt like there was no hope anymore, I put my gun to my head many times after taking a fist full of sleeping pills. It's pathetic, but I'll admit it was mostly because of loneliness and girls.
But, right now there is a girl who is finally interested in me, very interested. But, of course there is a catch, I'm not really attracted to white girls much, and shes white. Also, I feel like we don't even get along that well compared to a lot of the other girls who friendzoned me. I'm such a fuckin spineless beta that I think I'm still going to relationship her in hopes of me actually falling for her one day. I can't say no to people.
Thanks for listening bar tend.
>>24304735
Honestly can't. I think it was some breeder website, Google around, you might find something. This was almost 15 years ago, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast.
>>24304718
Everyone. What am I putting in yours?
>>24304793
I can't give you much advice here, I don't think either course (dating or not dating) is particularly 'good' or 'bad'. Worst that can happen is a messy breakup, right?
>>24304793
You're absolutely aware that it is reasonably a poor decision to try and get with this girl, and that it isn't wise to base your attachment to her upon expected (hoped for) feelings in the future.
And it doesn't matter so much that you know, does it? I feel you, man. It isn't as if I've been in your exact situation, but I've certainly made decisions that I felt weren't wise.
The heart must work in conjunction with the brain and the body; not in opposition or working alone.
It's a question of gumption, not knowledge. It is sadly funny, because you've got the part down that plenty of people don't; you mostly understand the course of action you should probably take. But I know that this is a bittersweet boon when it doesn't seem to do you a fucking lick of good.
I'll wish you luck. Wish I could do more, bud.
I'm that guy who becomes violent when drunk
And I've had a gutfull
Who wants to fucking go me?!?!?!?!
>>24304904
I don't fight, but I'll call a taxicab home for you.
>>24304855
Alrighty then, I'll Google around. Thanks for everything you do Barkeep, I'm gonna try to hit the hay. Cheers!
>>24297070
>Waxahatchee
My nigga
Whiskey Sour for me, barkeep.
Sigh. I feel like a complete idiot. I was seeing a girl for the past few weeks and started to grow feelings for her. Was gonna take her out to a nice French bistro for dinner tonight but she called me and said "oh I have a boyfriend I met him 3 days ago". The guy's a neckbeard.
Every other girl has basically used the "I don't know what I want" bullshit.
Is intimacy really so much to ask for? I just want someone to love and for them to love me back. I don't even care about sex. Sex is meaningless without intimacy.
I'm done with women. I really am.
>>24305270
Sucks, man.
>Is intimacy really so much to ask for? I just want someone to love and for them to love me back. I don't even care about sex. Sex is meaningless without intimacy.
I feel you, dog. I mean, I don't reckon that sex is something that requires inherent meaning; nothing wrong with sex purely for pleasure. But I absolutely understand; I crave the intimacy more than the physical component.
It should be irrelevant that you think the guy's a neckbeard, though. No use comparing yourself to homeboy there. You don't really know him. And hell, SHE doesn't really know him either if she met him 3 days ago. There's no difference in outcome whether she hitched up with a near-Adonis or a hideous pustule of a man.
I can't exactly be too mad at girls using the "I don't know what I want" bullshit. Shamefully, I've done the exact same thing to a girl or two and I'm male. I absolutely meant it; I was crippled by indecision as to the best path for me. And you know, I negatively impacted these few girls emotionally, just as they've done to you.
I certainly regret it, though. I'm not sure if they are even rudimentarily aware of what they've done and what they're doing, much less remorseful.
Don't stagnate man. Keep it up, even if it blows cocks. Keep yourself open. Not just to women, but to everyone. There do exist people of extremely good quality out there.
>>24296469
Good to see you still in business Wojak
QTB
Montilla with Pepsi is the key to a new world.
>>24300559
Because beer tastes like shit.
I'm trying to stay sober until at least Friday. Alcohol is one of the few real comforts I have left, but I desperately want to lose weight. Trying to phase out my booze consumption and occupy myself with other shit. It's rough.
>>24311315
there's more alcohol than just beer
>>24296469
Hello, barkeep, bottle of wine please.
Are there any good methods for working? I got so much to do, but I keep browsing the internet instead.
>>24298633
I'm listening to that album fucking right now
holy shit anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJGvLLEZQAA
Who /no talent/ here?
>>24311914
sup my fellow talentless robot
>>24311967
How do you cope with it?
>>24312017
I remove myself from the world because I know I have nothing to offer it. I don't have a facebook, skype, or any other social media that has my name or a recurring user title to it, except for a couple that I use to lurk restricted forums. I've never had a steam friend, and don't play multi-player or join in groups in games. I have no friends, and haven't had a conversation with anyone that wasn't my parents or threapist since mid-July. I haven't left my apartment in a week.
>>24311685
All alcohol is loaded with calories. I drink primarily straight whisky.
Sorry but I drink alone. It's cheaper and I don't have to worry about alphas starting fights with me and me putting them to sleep with my fists and ending up in jail.
