ITT: Name something you do that is probably a sign of undiagnosed mental illness
>>24287704
I talk to myself aloud.
A lot.
i get ill whenever im supposed to do something (search for job for example) that i dont think is fun
headache, stomach ache etc etc
>>24287704
Duck off to tumblr if you're going to start self diagnosing mental illness.
People do weird shit. It's normal. Unless you are having actual psychotic breaks don't be a bitch.
Masterbate to dick girls
>>24287716
this
all the time. I'm never expecting an answer or anything htough
I spend entire days doing nothing but browsing this site.
>>24287704
They actually made the things from Jurassic World?
>>24287716
That's normal
I feel literally no empathy towards other human beings
I am obsessed with myself, yet I am totally indifferent towards my own fate
>>24287753
Me fucking too I get extreme fatigue too
all it takes for me to end up having a fit these days is seeing an attractive person tbqh. i end up breaking things like plates or cups, screaming and crying for the rest of the evening until i tire myself out.
too guilty about it afterwards to tell my therapist... rinse and repeat. happened almost every day when i was off my meds, now it happens like 2-3 times a week at most.
>>24287704
I listen to scenes from Dragon Ball Z and imagine I'm Gohan and my oneitis is Cell, or something.More specifically, she's Buu and her sisters would be Babidi and Bibidi, and I would be Super Saiyan 3 Goku.
>>24287935
Why do some normies capitalize words randomly?
>>24287716
This but I refer to myself as we.
>"We need to change the oil and then get food. Alright lets go."
>eat the same thing everyday
>pace back and forth when talking and often when reading books
>barely talk
>breath through my nose exclusively
>only drink water
>>24288029
Yeah, me too. Sometimes, though, but I think it's harmless.
>>24288059
>eat the same thing everyday
>pace back and forth when talking and often when reading books
Damn, I got a doppelganger out there somewhere...
Hopping from friend to friend and abusing them until they cut contact, regretting it deeply afterwards, because I think I cared about the friendship, when in fact I only cared about the emptiness they filled. They give me chances, one after the other and I just can't stop throwing them away. This can't end well and I need help, but it's all so pointless.
Wearing adult diapers at age 25
>>24287858
This... Too fatigued to even play a vidya which is usually good escapism.
>>24287753
My immunity system plummets and I start to get every flue and bacterial infection in my throat and get a fever for weeks when I am more stressed than normal.
Spent 2 months in bed, sick and in fever, when I was in army service until they told me to come try again some other year(later got freed from service altogether). Spending weeks with the same 12 guys in the room, classes and exercises was too much for me, need some hours alone every day to function with others. Couldn't sleep at all and had panic attacks and anxiety the whole time there. Almost every weekend I went home, slept 14hours both nights there, got better, went back and by Tuesday I was in fever and had a throat infection again and on bed rest for the rest of the week.
It was like I was in isolation for those months, my head is still fucked and unbalanced from that experience and can't seem to get over it years later. The most pathetic thing about it is that I could have left any moment I wanted but was too ashamed and anxious to talk to anybody about it because of the taboo of mental illness and quiting, tried to stay there and get over it.
Doctors were wondering how I don't get better and took pretty much every possible blood work test they could of me but everything came out negative. Had a resting pulse in the 110s most of the time there.
>>24288029
> changing the oil
> being this much of a normie
>>24287704
Shitpost on a Mongolian basket weaving board
Wash my hands compulsively.
Talk to myself.
Be overcome by waves of fatigue and self-hatred whenever I have to do something.
Ignore people because talking to them would be too tiring.
I'll greentext the stuff from the top of my head,
>view only myself and direct family as humans, all else seem "foreign" to the species
>extreme obsession with self (eg. take every chance i have to look at myself in the mirror, sometimes for hours)
>either completely still or pace back and forth
>constantly checking everywhere for cameras and microphones, often rechecking already checked areas
>watch everyone and everything like a hawk, being mentally prepared for something going wrong
>feel i have a duty to do something grand that will affect humanity, positively or negatively
>weird form of social anxiety- instead of getting nervous or shaky, I feel this energy build up until i near explosion
>feel like a character of some sort, no longer feel like myself; i am controlling "me"
>disconnection; nothing specific, i just can't connect
>very broad thoughts
>>24287704
I talk while alone, like I am giving a speech and I walk back and forth my apartment as I am coming up with a theory or hypothesis or something alike.
I constantly say "shoot yourself in the head" to myself. About 12 times a day. Out loud
>>24287704
I like penis
>>24287795
Haven't you ever seen a Volkswagen? They've been around forever.
>>24288418
I say "Kill them" instead.
>>24287704
Having huge mood swings all the time. One second I'm happy, the next I'm walking down the road with my shotgun.
Talking to myself.
Physically acting out fantasies about doing great things or just being cool.
Extremely short temper.
Only the usual talking to myself, acting out arguments (and getting really involved), talking / singing excessively to my cat.
>>24288474
WHY??? Why does this happen??
>>24288525
I really don't know. My family used to say I was on a man period 24/7. I go on here as a means to vent frustration
I stare widely and intently off into space for long periods of time (typically 5-15 minutes) without blinking. Usually this happens in a public area like at the bus stop or on campus. Just helps me focus on my thoughts when I do this i guess.
>>24288626
>>24288626
Hey, man. I do this also. I find a sort of "sweet spot" and just stare at it. No blinking. No effort. I get into a whole new headspace and everything changes. I feel a disconnection of some sort.
When I eventually blink, I snap right back to reality.
do things with my imaginaryfriend/shadowything/waifu/self in my head
sometimes i allow it to have a mind of its own and sort of dwell in the madness. i perform a bunch of weird exercises i have imagined up for myself just to see what happens.
>>24288726
i love doing this in the dark. everything seeps into blackness until you look around or blink. It's a much darker black than when closing your eyes
>think of shameful moment i experienced years ago
>uncontrollably shout "nigger"/"faggot"/"i hate myself" in my empty apartment during brief moment of intense shame memory
I just want to cuddle you all and give you all my love
>don't display any signs of mental illness
>have no reason to be as much of a fuckup as I am
>begin to hate myself even more because of it
It's like a vicious cycle. Not that it's worse than any of you legitimately fucked-up anons, of course.
>>24289002
Are you me? my god.
>>24289025
Please do, I can't take that empty burning feeling anymore. I'm considering jumping in front of a train tomorrow morning.
>>24289122
*cuddle wuddles*
>>24289144
Don't steal my identity!!
>>24289122
Hey sweety just work out what stopped you from jumping infront of that train today instead - obviously there's some reason you stuck around in this hellhole
>>24289194
Don't worry anon there's plenty of lovedy dovey to go around
I might have mild tourrettes syndrome
Always had weird ticks growing up. And still do
>twitched eye
>smacked knees together whenever I took steps
>pulled hair
>scraped tongue with teeth a lot
>ran fingers through gaps of fingers on other hand
>constantly whispered "wait" because I use to say it when I rethinked something. Just picked it up.
Never even bothered to check.
>>24287787
>>24287716
>>24288029
>>24288095
>>24288059
Completely normal and not at all a sign of mental illness.
>>24288379 (only washing hands compulsively is a sign if it's excessive)
>>24287820
These are signs there is something wrong, lack of empathy for others.
>>24288393
A little bit paranoid and intrusive, but nothing I would take seriously.
>>24288397
Normal.
>>24288483
Short temper you should probably check, but other than that you're fine.
>>24288474
You should check it out if it's bad.
>>24288626
>>24288726
Normal.
>>24288849
Manchild-ish, but normal.
>>24289002
Do you do it in public?
>>24287765
Define psychotic breaks, anon.
I'm pretty sure I have something that is psychotic breaks all the time.
>>24289122
Are we brothers?
I was considering jumping onto a rail, too.
But I would much prefer to go out with a bang, or at least go gracefully. Splattered guts on a track is only cool if it's to others, not yourself.
Whenever thoughts about getting bullied in the past, or i fuck something up really bad, or i think about something bad that might happen i reflexively yell out "KILL MYSELF MODE" and go into kill myself mode where i think about killing myself for like 20 minutes and yell out shit like "WELL AT LEAST I COULD JUST KILL MYSELF" and "DEATH IS FUN"
watch the same movie over and over again, ive watched this one movie about 100 times for no reason
sometimes when im about to go into kill myself mode i have a weird fake seizure, i know im doing it myself but i cant stop it, its like a defence mechanism to keep me from thinking about shit
im not even trolling about any of this
damn the mods are gonna read this and think im such a fucking freak LMFAO hi mods
>>24289002
>>24289281
In public sometimes I whisper it under my breath if I don't feel like anyone is within an earshot of me. Takes a lot of restraint to hold it back.
>>24287753
anxiety disorder senpai, go to a psychiatrist
>>24289002
It gets worse over time. Maybe you should write down every time it happens and face your fears.
I said "SHHH" out loud, and my friend next to me looked at me weird.
>>24289368
also i fake throw up when i think about shit sometimes, but sometimes i almsot actually throw up
i make the UUHGHGHGHGRRRRR sound and everything
>>24289194
It's because I'm still waiting for my psychiatrist to contact me back, I've been trying for half a week now and I just need his help, it's getting worse by the hour.
>>24289324
I don't really mind that as long as the suffering stops. It's not like anyone would remember me or care.
>>24287704
I exist as a wizard.
>>24288267
>overpaying a shop to do it for you
>being that much of a lazy millennial
>>24289368
>WELL AT LEAST I COULD JUST KILL MYSELF
My fucking sides
>>24289492
Cool well just spectate till then, see what they have to say about stuff might be worthwhile (I wouldn't know I've never seen one)
>>24289515
>be millennial
>relentlessly mocks old people for not knowing what kind charger an iPhone needs
>has no clue how to do something as simple as change own oil
I walk around in circles for hours or until its dark.
Then I use acoustic wayfinding to guide myself back to my bed...
>>24288252
>Doctors were wondering how I don't get better and took pretty much every possible blood work test they could of me but everything came out negative. Had a resting pulse in the 110s most of the time there.
I think this is one area where medicine has gone backwards. Old stories are littered with examples of people bedridden and ill from stress or sadness, and people avoiding intense/unpleasant situations because of the physical effects. Nowadays the only advice is "man up, pussy" but I really think the idea that someone with a weak constitution could get physically ill from emotional issues is a real thing.
I'm speaking from experience here too. For the year that I went to college (before I dropped out) I was constantly sick, and even had to get my gall bladder removed due to having gallstones. Now that I'm a NEET I'm fairly healthy.
Over the years I have found that nobody will ever truly know me, not even the people who love me deeply. On the surface, I am an emotional yet strong, all around jokester person that everyone likes to be around and shoot the wind with. The people who care about me (few as they may be) have told me time and time again that I am an important figure in their lives. And in that moment, I am content. However, I feel like if people really knew me underneath all of the social faux paz, they would not want me around. Or care. When in public by myself, I sometimes pretend to be on the phone with important people in the hopes that strangers will think I am important as well. If I seea group of the opposite sex that I may find attractive, I purposely make myself seen, if only for the empty, hollow spark of interest they may spare me. I overexaggerate when telling stories, gossip, and worry excessively about what my next move will be. Sometimes it illudes me why I seem to care so much about the public's opinion of me, but when I try to observe the fact that it may stem from insecurity, it just doesnt feel right. I like myself. I like what I do every day, and I like what I will become because I am aware of my capabilities, workwise and academically. But for some reason, in the depth of my soul, I feel I will never find true peace. Because I will always be searching for that one group of people, that one false injury, that one weak mind that I can manipulate and take over.
And my work is never done.
Rocking back and forth to music...
Ive lived in a dream fantasy land in my head for years. ANYONE ELSE?
>>24289658
Do you feel like you are manipulating those who care?
>>24289771
I wish I could do that. I've heard a few anons say they have a vivid, detailed fantasy world and it seems really comfy. I'm not creative enough to think of one, though, and even if I did I'm too stupid to remember all the details.
>>24289658
That sounds nearly exactly like me two years ago. If you don't want a future of intense suffering and stress get help now. Alternatively don't get any further involved with other people, it won't end like you imagine it. Fuck, I wish I had someone give me this advice back then.I wouldn't have listened to it anyway
i get really weird thoughts, like one for example is to smell my cats bottom and proceed to talk to him about his diet and poops, that and the regular talking to myself garbage.
i've done that to my cat before
>>24289851
Did you get help? How did it go?
>>24288393
podromic phase of schizophrenia
go see a psychiatrist and get help before it worsens, it could save your life desu senpai
>>24289824
My fantasy world is FUCKED up
>>24289910
It's hard, the progress is slow, but it's there and I hope someday it will get better. Also, focus on your career and don't let yourself be distracted from the people who tell you that you're important to them. Don't show them more of yourself, than you have to, as soon as you do, you'll lose them, no matter what they told you one day before. If that happens, a cycle will begin you don't want to find yourself in.
Binge eating, often 2k+ kcal in an evening (my pb is around 8k). If I don't have sweet food available I'll often steal my housemates' stuff instead.
I am starting to learn how to control it or at least not suffer too badly when I do binge.
I'm honestly being serious in this post.
I get really high while looking at porn with niggers in it. Don't care if it's straight or gay or just a picture of a BBC, I like it. I get so into this that I imagine a black cock skull fucking my brain into mush and converting me into a black cock slave (I am being completely honest) and I honestly have these seizure like things while this happens. I'll be imagining this and I'll start twitching and jerking my whole body around, drooling, eyes roll into the back of my head, etc. I am completely serious about this and I don't known if it's something serious or just me getting way to into black cocks. I'm afraid that I'll fall over and hit my head on something.
>>24290324
Kill yourself kek
>>24289658
>My work is never done.
Please do not become an eldtritch abomination and replace people's hands with mannequin hands.
>>24288393
Hello, me. I see other people as literal soulless NPCs, the exceptions being myself, my parents, and the person I love/am obsessed with. I identify with all of your other points, too.
>>24289920
worry.jpg
One time I helped a kid I didn't like with his computer.
I even went to his house to do it.
Dunno why
>>24289824
Im still a virgin loser in my fantasy world, but at least i have friends in there
I have convinced myself that death is one eternal lucid dream and that I will basically be God of my own reality
Everyone else is real sad about killing themselves but I'm actually excited for it
>wonder if people could be watching me through hidden cameras in my house
>try to act natural so they dont think I know about them, but am really freaking out inside
>say something bad about someone
>for the rest of the day, scared that maybe they put a microphone on me or something to listen to what I said about them
>panicking about what they will say when I next see them
>think my family might be stealing money from me
I know this shit is most definetely not happening, but I cant help feeling nervous and paranoid about it
>>24290955
Then why dont you kill yourself right now if death is better?
You are afraid, you are not firm in your belief.
>>24289558
>>has no clue how to do something as simple as change own oil
I fix European cars for a living and you'd be amazed at how many smart people I've met who are absolutely fucking befuddled by a Civic. I've watched my service writer explain to several of them how shit works like they're four years old and every one just checks out entirely while nodding slowly.
>>24291159
True. I'm being selfish; I've tried before, and am selfishly worried about being caught again because I'll be locked away for life and never get another chance.
>>24288059
pacing back and forth while thinking is relaxing. i do it for like ~3 hours when no one is home sometimes
>>24291252
ay senpai were in the same situation then.
have you already created a fantasy dream in your head?
if so what is it like?
>>24287704
borderline personality features
>overinterpretation of reality, everything is personal
>sudden change in friend/enemy status of people based on small actions toward me
Usual r9k stuff
>Play fighting or acting out street fights I'd get into alone with sound effects and
>Acting out alternate lifestyles pretending to be a rapper (drake, young thug, future) performing their music to large crowds
>Pretending to be a wealthy stock trader with a 8/10 wife and 2 sons.
>Pretending to be a criminal kingpin controlling a drug empire
>>24289771
Why is this synonymous with people who browse this board?
I've been doing this for 10 years now.
I thought if I got injured I could get a reprieve. I almost got hit by
some cars but they kept braking or swerving. So I fell down the stairs.
I tried to land in a way where I might injure my right hand.
But I got it wrong and hit my head instead, on a piece of protruding
metal. There was kind of a lot of blood. I had a concussion and they
prescribed four days off. The concussion wasn't good. I lost some
things. I felt like my critical thinking and problem solving was shot.
Like my mind just went flat.
But it wasn't enough, after that time all the deadlines just compressed
and I couldn't meet them. And so the Terrible Events unfolded.
I'm not even sure what to say about how I felt about that. I deserved
it, I knew. I deserved destruction. I saw that it was good.
I never told anyone it was deliberate. It's obvious, though. The
evidence clearly points to that. I was accused of it once and denied
it. She seemed to drop the matter but of course she was right.
But what I never never told anyone was the subsequent concussions.
A few days after. Maybe even the same day, when I went to talk to
[censored].
I was alone in [censored]. I looked at the brick wall. It was new brick. A
flatter texture than the old brick. I saw it. I held the image in my
head and fixated on it.
Then I crashed my head against it. Again, and again. The white paint,
the flatter texture, the sharper corners, blood, blood, blood on all of
it.
Excerpt from my external memory. I have 5,852 lines of this stuff and the rest is no more sane.
I never show this to doctors/therapists. They've got no idea how deep it does. Only 4chan, from time to time, and here I'm nobody, so what does it matter who knows.
>>24287704
I hear voices sometimes and I've had visual hallucinations at times.
I masturbate to underage girls.
After sitting down to take a shit I grab the bottom of my shirt and "flap" it until my autism is satisfied. First then I can continue with the defecation. I started doing this when I was 4 and it is stuck with me at the age of 32.
>I dominate conversations
>I can't control how loud I talk sometimes
>I talk for hours about nothing
>I get excited about trivial topics and talk to the point where the other person can't get a word in edgewise.
>TFW Strangers have told me I talk too much
>TFW Family and friends said the same thing
>TFW I've been told to "lower my voice" constantly
>TFW I have multiple hour long conversations with myself
>TFW I talk to myself for an absurd period of time
I don't believe I'm talking to another person or anything, I'm just talking to myself. It's like maybe I believe I've created a twin who looks just like me or something and we are the same person but share one body so I just talk to myself?
I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with me, I'm 23 and have only ever been clinically diagnosed with depression. I have no social life though and I believe I might be a sociopath, I've cut a lot of people out of my life like it was nothing.
>>24287769
This is an actual mental illness tbH faM
>>24291667
what is it like?
6 years 4 me.
I ripped one of my toenails out partially recently, just to see if I could.
>>24292397
>tfw when I read this as "tonsils" at first
>>24289368
What film?
Punch myself in the face every single time I fuck up.
It used to be only when I was really mad but now it's almost every time and it's getting bad. I've given myself black eyes before.
Sometimes tend to hear stuff, or get ultra paranoid of someone or something being behind me for no reason at all.
Feeling like its fucking loud (while being in a quiet area), I mean the feeling of standing in a crowd and getting a headache from it.
Sometimes phases of enormous lack of self confidence, including a state of depression and then I have phases where I simply lack empathy completely and only care about myself and turn all narcissistic
>>24289281
Everybody check out this guy thinking he's an expert
Think about killing myself what seems like every ten seconds.
It's as though there's a part of my brain I'm not in control of that just thinks about everything that makes me feel bad. It does this constantly. I can't focus on conversations, I can't watch movies, I can't sleep, I can't even jerk off without these invasive hostile thoughts ruining what I try to do.
In the middle of a conversation with my parents, or my coworkers, I'll just get completely lost in all the bad thoughts. People often just think I'm ignoring them or "I'm just tired".
If I'm alone (and quite often in public) these thoughts work their way into my voice, and I'll just talk to myself for an hour about how much I should kill myself. Even though I'm a pretty passive and calm person externally, I'll get unreasonably angry at myself for silly mistakes. Quite often I'll start to cry over stupid shit, like hitting my elbow on a door or whatever. It's not that the pain makes me cry, I'll just get really sad and angry that this is happening again.I'm also pretty sure my life was affected by a time traveler about two years ago and I'm currently in the wrong reality, the wrong universe. The logical part of my brain wants to deny this, but I can't shake the feeling.
>undiagnosed
hahahaha. my university had to intervene because some chicks saw me sleeping in a bus shelter because my anxiety was too bad to go into my fucking dorm.
>>24289002
holy shit anon I do this too except I make weird noises
>>24289368
Not as literal as you but I use suicide as a coping strategy all the time.
>>24289368
Answer this question.
>>24292433
What was the movie? I think I know already but I need to be absolutely sure. Please anon, don't leave me hanging here. It's important.
>i cant relate to people
>talk to myself all the time
>say the same word over and over again
>make retarded noises and faces when alone
I spiral into incredibly negative thoughts whenever I am criticized, corrected, or feel like I have annoyed someone. I end up feeling sick and anxious and feel compelled to leave as soon as I can and I usually end up crying.
I am constantly paranoid that my family and people I spend time around secretly hate me and only are nice to me out of pity.
I feel nauseaus whenever I have to do something unpleasant. (Going to a job interview, the doctor, socializing with people other than my roommates)
I can't eat/drink something if I don't know how many calories are in it.
I feel like I binged and get terrified that I am going to gain weight if I eat a meal that has more than 200 calories or if I eat over 700 calories a day.
>>24287704
I seem to have an obession with making people cheat/cheating myself
i consume alot of gore to the point of paris attacks make me laugh
im serious
I'm pretty sure I have schizophrenia
>>24287704
Sit at my balcony and count how many people walk on the street from 8 to 9 am most days.
Also note Sex, estimate age, height (Tall, Short), type and colour of clothes direction in relation to the street and whether they move at a hurried or more relaxed pace
>>24287704
I slap myself really hard sometimes, like in some retarded attempt to "wake" myself up. It never works but I just keep doing it
No matter how much praise I may get from my friends or family, I still think they would be better off without me as I think underneath those compliments everyone secretly hates me. I just don't understand what they could possibly see in me.
>>24293425
>I am constantly paranoid that my family and people I spend time around secretly hate me and only are nice to me out of pity.
You're not alone in feeling like that.
My thought process involves holding conversations in my head. I'm in full control of them and here's no imaginary friend aspect to it.
Scratching nails against paper causes me to cringe. Nails on chalkboard is fine, but paper is NOT ok.
I go up to the person who does this( say they were pointing something on their paper and scratch a small portion of it) I place my fingerpad on top of the place they scratched and rub it like i'm scrubbing it clean.
>>24287704
>Extremely self aware.
>Cannot respond to people who talk with me except with 1-3 word answers because I cannot think of a response.
>Have no desire to have friends at all and never have. Despite that really want someone to love.
>Get depressed when I don't have a lover.
When I get excited I sometimes clench my first and put my face close to it and stare at it. I do it so intensely my head shakes and my eyes are wide open. I fear I sometimes do it in public.
have conversations with myself in my head
guy i talk to in my heads name is "lam"
get scared when i tell people about it because i think lam will get mad
scared he will be mad at me now
>>24287704
Feeling that people are following me everywhere I go... or feeling as if people are out to harm me... I can't understand why... but I feel so damn paranoid every time I'm out....
I don't use drugs of any kind so I cany understand why my mind feels like this
>>24287704
>Physically distance myself from others in public
>Have "ticks" when I am experiencing stress that I do to relieve it: Mostly blinking hard or excessively, and when in an upsetting situation or having a horrible day, make clicking noises by hitting the back of my gums with the back of my tongue several times. it's a hollow-sounding kind of click. I've been doing these things since I was a kid
>spend most of the day spacing out or "daydreaming" while in autopilot mode
>bad memory problems, have a hard time recalling stuff
>always think I hear people talking about me in the background when at work, sometimes the people talking I found to have been imaginative, due to some other sound instead. Other times they were talking about something completely different and not relating to me
.>when under anxiety I sometimes say things to myself under my breath that has no real context when I'm alone
>>24289368
I won't let the thread 404 until you see this and tell me, what movie it was.
>>24287704
Desire a boyfriend, get a boyfriend, hate it, break up with them, break their heart. I feel like a sick piece of shit.
>>24287704
Have suicidal thoughts several times daily
Some times I'll explode in anger inside and think that everyone thinks I'm a disgusting subhuman and hates me, talk behind my back and wish i didn't exist
>>24287704
Try to kill myself. Constantly think of killing myself.
Often described as cold and emotionless.
Not a fan of people, dislike being in public crowded places.
Doesnt like being a part of a family.
Have periods when its hard for me to breathe even though im physically fine.
Cannot focus properly, lose ambition really fast.
Being diagnosed with a mental illness is probably a good sign that i have a mental ilness though.
I just hate living. I don't want to kill myself or anyone else. I just hate being alive. I hope I die every day pretty much all day. I don't like being around people especially myself. Which is hard to handle cause I can't leave my body for a while. I also have horrible amounts of back pain and I'm constantly in agony. Even the strongest painkillers don't touch it. I'm fucked.
>>24287704
Hear voices and occasionally see things. Will never tell a doctor.
People will say things and I just entirely miss them, a lot. Like I'd ask about something that was just told to me 10 seconds ago during the conversation, but I caught everything else
Also have a really hard time picking up what the fuck someone is saying if there's a lot of background noise or they're trying to whisper to me. The noise they're shitting out is audible but it doesn't form intelligible syllables to me.
>>24287977
autism
also nice dubs
>>24289368
I do this but I don't yell out loud.
>>24295721
How often do you see ghosts?
They're in my bedroom and bathroom a whole fucking lot. They also happen to stand in the street a whole bunch, too.
>>24295721
i see things too... i hallucinate that bugs are in my room late at night sometimes and hear voices on occasion. its weird tho because i know its all in my head but it still freaks me out
Talk to myself out loud
Escape from daydreams by shouting out certain phrases for example "what will you do?", "now what?", "what does X have to do with anything?", "I'm gonna kill myself" "X, can you please kill me" or "just kill me already"
>>24289368
This anon needs to come back.
I need to know, I need to know not only the movie but I need to know about the fake seizures too.
Why do I do that, why can't I control them when I clearly can?
I need some fucking answers and this fag has them but he's ignoring this thread evidently.
>every time I get angry I start punching myself in the head until it's over
>verbalise every thought I have
>remind myself constantly that my friends arent friends but just people I know
>only sleep for about 4-5 hours every night
I hate myself really
>>24289002
I do this, but i release a loud grunt.
>URGGHHH
literally lost in thoughts 24/7. people wonder why i don't talk much, its because i dont even think about being social or having a casual conversation with people. my thoughts are more interesting.
>>24291186
If they a moderately wealthy they don't have to give a fuck, paying a shop is nothing
>>24288393
woah, I do some of this shit... should i be concerned for myself...?
>>24287704
maybe this is normal but sometimes i hear someone say my name when i am in public. but i learned to ignore it until i actually for reals hear it
>>24293503
But most of the parisians were civilised whites you monster
>>24287704
I stare at myself in the mirror and in my head pretend that I'm talking to someone. I'm 22 now and I've been doing this since at least age 14. It wastes my day tbqh because I'm sitting there in fucking silence having pretend conversations in my head.
I skip steps when performing repetitive tasks andoften have blank spots in short term memory. Also am always accidentally breaking things.
>binge drink up to a fifth a day
>adopt extremely erratic sleep patterns when nothing is going on, consisting of staying up for 24 hours or more and sleeping for a long time and eating at very odd times. i like staying up until sunrise and then sleeping in. sometimes later if i'm doing cool stuff
>have a love-hate relationship with everything, from wishing it didn't exist to thinking it is everything
>constantly feel like i should be taking care of something else even when doing shit that i need to get done
>pace back and forth
>either want to eat more when full or do not want to eat when hungry
>hear voices
>self mutilated in public before while drunk
>zone out and fantasize about committing heinous crimes
>think about suicide daily
>go to bed 30 min later every night
>sleep schedule rotates around the entire clock every 50 days or so
oh boy where should I start
>talk to myself everyday
>sometimes talk to the things around the house, furniture and the like
>whisper "I'm sorry" when bumping into a chair or something for example
>generally feel like inanimate objects are actually alive, but noone knows except for me
>wash my hands way too often
>scared of getting hands dirty
>wear latex gloves when using the toilet, wash my hands afterwards anyway
>also wear them when eating or when I'm washing anything below my belly button in the shower
>>24296408
Yeah the glove thing sounds like autism or some shit and talking/believing inanimate objects are alive might be something else.
I will suddenly isolate myself from people because I feel unworthy of being associated with them... I feel like I'm the only person who ever does this.
>>24293503
>>24296078
>middle-class normies at a death metal concert
>civilised
fuck off
>>24287704
I collectMagic The Gatheringcards for the sake of organizing them when I'm stressed. I currently have 18,532 cards and I guess some of them are worth a lot of money, idk, never cared to learn how to play.
>>24291331
It's Azeroth.
>>24296046
this happens to me constantly and is a big reason I don't go out in public.
also I get many other auditory and visual hallucinations and haven't had my psychotic symptoms diagnosed yet, but I am diagnosed with PTSD and adjustment disorder.
>>24287704
Will be doing some menial task like driving or at work or some shit, and I'll be thinking about something that gives me great anxiety (usually interactions with people that turns unpleasant) and I'll be so wrapped up in it that I'll usually say something out loud and I'll snap out of it.
It's like a stress nightmare crossed with a day dream.
Also sometimes I'll talk to myself as if I'm two different people, but will always say I.
I scream in my sleep
I am often anxious, at times unbearably so.
I get overwhelmed by activities that doesn't even faze other people. I find even fast food work hard to keep up with.
I cry whenever something is upsetting me. I don't mean to, the tears just come out. It's really annoying.
Very impatient
Just want to commit suicide sometimes, despite knowing that it will make my family and the few friends I have very sad.
>>24288418
Whenever I fuck up (which is alot) I'll tell myself "Maybe suicide isn't such a bad option" or something along those lines. I don't consciously think it, it just comes out of my mouth, like a reflex or a sneeze or something.
Like, it'll be some shit like I'm not keeping up with the pace at my job and when I'm in the back alone making lemonade I'll mutter it under my breath.
It's really quite worrying tbchwufam
>>24297069
I usually just mutter, "I did it wrong" until I correct the issue or until I am breathless.
>>24292105
thats actually interesting, tell us more
>>24296543
If you look up what they were listening to you would realise they deserved it.
>>24287704
im constantly having ptsd flashbacks of all the cringeworthy shit i've done in my life (a fuckton) whenever i think about shit and whenever it happens i get a sudden urge to grab the nearest object to me and smash it on the ground, also if i see something that had to do with whatever cringeworthy shit i did/said (for example; cherry blossoms) the cringe moment will replay in my head and i'll get the urge to toss something again.
I don't like being in crowded rooms what so ever. If I go into a restaurant and it's packed I start to panic and I have to get out asap. Fuck concerts never again. I also hate being in places I'm not used to and I often just wait outside if I'm waiting on someone.
>>24287704
I let uncontrolled thoughts quickly deviate into literal hell storms of carnage and destruction.
>extreme rage when playing vidya
>destroyed 5 controllers by smashing them on my hardwood floor
>sold Xbox 360 (& turned 360...)
>No more vidya in my life
>>24296294
Take some lithium. This is one of the only things that will fix a circadian period that is too long.
I can't make conversation for longer than like 60 seconds.
What does it mean? Autism? Anxiety? Just a shit personality?
>>24289002
I got to the point where I couldn't control it in public and whispered it under my breath. It's like a mantra you need to repeat to escape the memory.
When I turn my back, I feel like my mirror is watching me, or that a demon will jump out.
I can't sleep in the dark anymore.
>Afraid that my thoughts are being broadcasted out loud without me noticing, and that everyone's just pretending not to hear it
>Feel paranoid around mirrors
>See a dark window/hallway and automatically think someone or something is hiding there, watching me
>Think there's something hiding behind the shower curtain whenever I walk in and it's closed
>>24298053
Paranoid schizophrenia is no joke anon. If you can, please get treatment.
>>24298053
>Think there's something hiding behind the shower curtain whenever I walk in and it's closed
This was me when I was in elementary school
rip off my cuticles and skin on the side and below my fingernails. rub face, especially nose, to get bits of dirt and dead skin off. right now the tip of my nose is red, rough, and hurts a bit when i rub it. the skin is broken so i try to rub it off. i dont think this is an alarming level of self harm as i rarely go beyond the epidermis and always stop after breaking the outer epidermis i think. sometimes when breaking the outer epidermis i use my fingernails to rip off the circle of outer epidermis near the wound that is not attached to the inner. i rub my lips in the same way and also rip them. this isnt direct self harm either but it might as well be because it is slowly making my lips bigger. they arent puffy but imagine if the lower lip was a little lower at the edges. i rip the skin off my feet too. i shaved skin off using a razor. i didnt really notice at the time but i got like 5 cuts that hurt for a few days after. the skin came off in little bits so it took a really long time and i had to clean the razor frequently. i used to rip off my fingernails instead of cutting them but i havent been doing that recently. i use my tongue to rub off the layer of dead skin under it and the skin inside my mouth. i have some level of confidence, anxiety, depression, etc issues. i can only sincerely support and argue for positions that i have not actively thought about. so to aquaintances i am somewhat boring/shy or maybe slightly humerous and open minded and if i am friends with you i will only be able to be a devils advocate. i basically hate agreeing with things or skepticism or something. anxiety and depression make me lazy. ithink i binge eat, like 5 beafsteak sized tomatos or 50 dumdums but it isnt too bad an i am not over or under weight. maybe the worst is that i have some health issues that i do not address with my doctor. used to put things in my butt so i think my asshole is loose so i dont want to get my prostate examined. i dont think im gay but i wouldnt care
>>24298053
i think this happens to everyone at some rate but for me its very infrequent
>>24287704
when i listen to music i aggressively sway back and forth while i go into this extremely deep trance pretending that i'm chad and am really cool etc. if you saw me doing it you'd think i would belong in a mental ward. I've done this so much to the point where my back is pretty fucked up because one side got stronger than the other (i sway with my left leg forward, its the only way i can do it)
also sometimes when i see an old friends picture that reminds me of an old memory i'll start whispering alone pretending i'm actually talking to said friend
I'm like that guy who wrote the store of the "Who" or whatever, the ant people. Basically I have an incredibly detailed, constantly changing day dream fantasy world which I'm in probably at least 20-30 minutes of every hour I'm awake. I'm 21 and its been this way since I've been maybe 12 or 13. Please send help. It's nothing original either its just this bastard world made up of movies and TV shows etc.
>>24298267
Same here, but I run in circles. I'm also 100% sure that is a sign of autism. I'm the guy who posted above this (day dreamer) so the both of these things combined has to mean something.
>>24298053
>Often feel like people can read my mind
>Feel like the world is split between people who can't read minds and people who can, and they don't let those who can't catch on
>I know this isn't true, but the recurring thought always pops up
>semi related, whenever I feel that someone is reading my mind, offensive intrusive thoughts just pop up, and I feel the need to apologize. This happens near every time
I romanticize past historical events and try to pretend I was there. My favorite is pretending I was a trench runner during the battle of Vimy Ridge during WW1 by running through the woods in my backyard.
>>24289281
Nice work.
>imagine scenarios that would possibly ever happen
>conversations, start to think about outfits and what would be happening
>realize it is retarded and try cutting that shit out
>everyone is doing a thing, normies walking by join in
>don't want to be a part of it at all
>reading is usually excruciatingly painful and my brain instantly dumps what I read
>if I find a song I like, I like to listen to it repeatedly to try and get the lyrics/syncopation right
>actually speak like I write, no fluff trash nonsense
When I think of people who have wronged me I say out loud and quite loudly "I'm going to kill you".
It happens in public, at work, driving, etc. It doesn't matter if I'm alone or around people I just always fucking say it without meaning to.
>>24287704
Fantasize about befriending/seducing people and ruining their lives. Sometimes I make elaborate plans.
Have intrusive thoughts about insulting people randomly when it feels like we're getting along.
Spend what little money I make on stupid stuff so I never have much in my account. It makes it easier to convince my mom I need money.
Close my eyes for a couple seconds/look away from the road while driving. I like playing chicken with myself, basically.
Spend money on fast food and binge and purge, but only when I'm feeling frustrated/angry/useless and don't know what to do with myself.
Several things.
1.
Think to myself whenever I'm walking through a crowded area;
'I know you can read my mind.'
Then, on the 0% chance that someone in the crowd is somehow taking the time to read my insignificant thoughts, I start to make up babbling nonsense in my thoughts as loud as I can;
'AJUJUJU KAKAKA CHHOOOO RACHUUU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, THE RHODESIANS WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE, MARK MY WORDS KING ARTHUR!!! THEY. WILL. RETURN!'
Or other such nonsense like that
2.
Whenever I'm at my Muay Thai, I feel fucking invincible. Like I don't even know how to describe it. I can get the shit knocked out of me, or I can cobbler the fuck out of another person, but i will never ever feel fear, or take into consideration the injuries I'm receiving. My instructor and the other people that take the class with me think I'm some sort of "brave warrior" type, but in reality, once I leave those double doors I'm back to beta bitch weakling. It's fucking bizarre and I have no idea what that's all about.
3.
Sometimes I wished the world would undergo some sort of cataclysmic event were society gets fucking bodied. Like completely upheaved. Then I can go about rebuilding my portion of the world and feeling significant about myself, and maybe even forming a "raider" gang to pillage and rape with on the side after spending time with the family.
>Pace around while talking to myself & act out gestures. (I'm smart enough to only do this when nobody is nearby)
>I constantly feel the urge to roll things with my fingers. Piece of paper? I'll tear it into little strips and roll it into tubes. I'll do the same thing with a piece of bread; roll it into a little ball, flatten it, then roll it again.
>Can't concentrate for shit, except when I'm on the computer or playing vidya
>Get paranoid when it comes to handling food; I feel like my dead skin cells will get in/on the food, then if I eat it, it's a form of cannibalism. If I realize I've gotten "contaminated" food in my mouth, I will go to great lengths to find a place to spit it out, even in public.
>Intrusive thoughts like a motherfucker.
ADD and OCD, as far as I can tell.
>>24289368
>KILL MYSELF MODE!
>AT LEAST I COULD JUST
>KILL MYSELF
>DEATH
>IS
>FUN!
Imagining some autist laying down staring at the ceiling screaming this shit. I'm in tears.
>>24298577
i dont do any of that except i think of really outlandish conversations that could make me look cool
>>24298281
Same here. Look up Maladaptive Daydreaming
>constantly imagine myself as a godlike figure with some sort of ancient and terrible power over causality
>I know it's a delusion but whenever I stress out I preoccupy myself with it
>to the point that I concern myself with it more than I concern myself with the happenings of my real life
>>24298429
>My favorite
Wtf this is adorable
I drop a lot of things and even though I get eight hours of sleep I still end up tired during the day, sometimes I fall asleep almost uncontrollably
>>24298577
>>24298577
>>everyone is doing a thing, normies walking by join in
>>don't want to be a part of it at all
>>if I find a song I like, I like to listen to it repeatedly to try and get the lyrics/syncopation right
we need to meet up
>>24288474
Oh, that's nooor-mal. Nothing to worry about.
>>24298934
This is how religion started
I flap my hands and make a weird grimace sort of face many times throughout the day when I'm in private, usually in the bathroom. I've been doing this since I was 5 or 6.
>>24287704
I spend 90% of my day thinking about how much I want a girl to sit on my face. No matter what I'm doing this thought invades my mind and won't leave
I realized that I really don't want a gf or a bf. I always thought I did for a really long time but I just worked out that I'm perfectly happy with just my friends. Not to say I'm not attracted to others, but beyond sex I don't really want a relationship.
Is this unusual?
>>24299536
same. It's maximum autism.
>>24291741
post more please, this is great to read
if you published a book I'd but it
>>24293425
>I spiral into incredibly negative thoughts whenever I am criticized, corrected, or feel like I have annoyed someone. I end up feeling sick and anxious and feel compelled to leave as soon as I can and I usually end up crying.
>I am constantly paranoid that my family and people I spend time around secretly hate me and only are nice to me out of pity.
I do both of these too and and I usually begin fantasizing suicide and emotionally breakdown. I sometimes feel like crying for no reason in public but I can usually hold it in.
>>24295951
i sleep for 9-10 hours a night and i wish i could sleep for even longer. being awake is just so boring and repetitive
I was diagnosed with aspergers as a kid...aka I was shy.
>>24287704
But I have diagnosed mental illness so nothing is a sign of undiagnosed you silly fucking faggot kid kill yourself OP
>>24287704
>do the moonwalk with socks on polished wood floors when I'm alone
>often will scream at the top of my lungs or hit objects when I'm alone to blow off steam
>jack off and then use the cleanup tissues to wipe my ass if it stinks a little
>play with my balls while doing sedentary tasks when nobody's around
>roll my boogers up into little hard balls and then eat them
>imagine I'm being watched and swooned over by hot girls while I get undressed
>fapped to beastiality once but felt ashamed and never did it again
>sit on the toilet for a long time shitting and playing handheld videogames
gimme the news doc
>>24298921
I'm kinda scared to look it up, I'm afraid it will ruin it. At the same time it would be nice to live a normal life.
>>24300178
you're perfectly fine. Most of this shit I could imagine a normie doing as well. The only one that is weird, but I wouldn't say autistic, is the ass wiping one.
>>24300200
honestly, it ruined it for me at first. I felt like I lost the ability to inhabit that alternate world that I loved so much, and that it was gone forever. I lied in bed crying that night. It came back to me gradually though, and now I have (limited) control over when I daydream.
>>24287704
>taking a shower
>fuck, I need to take a shit
>poop in my hand
>open the curtain
>toss shit in toilet, sanitize, and continue with shower
>flush poop once i'm out
also
>I need to take a huge shit
>go into the bathroom
>take off pants and squat on toilet
>imagine my ass as an orbital cannon
>think about the death star scene from the first starwars movie
>stare straight down and think to myself "FIRE"
>leverage of squatting position on the bowl seems to accelerate my shit at a faster rate than normal
>>24300450
oh fuck that shit, I don't know if I can deal with that. Has it been a positive change overall?
I get zero satisfaction from interacting with other people. Even when someone is congratulating me on something or telling me they like something I made all I can do is think about how I'd like to go home and lay in bed.
>>24300505
I'd say so. I'll never fully quit, but I realize that it's probably healthier for me if I cut back and find things to do that have more of a tangible effect on my life.
>>24300753
jeez, well now I'm just torn. If I may pry, what is your fantasy world about/who are you in it?
>>24287765
You've got it wrong, friend. People who talk about mental illnesses on tumblr are doing the opposite of what we do when we talk about it here. On tumblr they make up bullshit to cope with the fact that they are not special and cannot handle regular everyday interactions, therefore using a veil of mental illness so they can excuse themselves and make it so they don't have to accept any responsibility for themselves and make other peoples been to their own will rather than having to comply to society like every other human being. People talking about mental illnesses is here aren't wallowing in self pity and trying to make shit up, but rather just trying to clear any suspicions they may have of actual symptoms which can be legitimate cause of worry through unity. In short, tumblr goers isolate themselves through talking about mental illnesses, where is we try to unite ourselves and clear any suspicions. Completely harmless if you ask me.
>>24287704
Go into public places and deliver diatribes through a megaphone
>>24291741
Nice word salad schizo
>>24300806
Well the TL;DR version is that I'm a member of a Rockefeller-like family that's helping to prop up the West against a resurgent Ottoman Empire - this universe's version of ISIS. Personally, I'm a computer genius that frequently finds himself joining forces with INTERPOL. (who act more like the 00-agents from the James Bond series than IRL INTERPOL agents)
Yours?
>I am majoring in History
>>24301037
Oh, another thing. Here's a mostly complete list of all the movies/TV shows/games that I've incorporated to one degree or another:
24
Resident Evil (games)
Fringe
The Expendables
House of Cards
Hitman
Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
Outlast
The Fast and Furious series
Gone Girl
The Fly
Jurassic World
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
DOOM
I try and keep it somewhat realistic and grounded in the action/political thriller genres, but there's a definite sci-fi tilt to the whole thing. We have Lunar and Mars colonies, for example.
>>24299639
Almost all of it is whiny emo bullshit. There's very little worth actually reading.
A lot of it is dull descriptions of mundane things that happen. Some of it makes me sound really pretentious too.
After that I did not feel the same. That was the death blow. That was
the one that did real damage. The first one, as they said, was minor.
It was the second that began my destruction.
And how many others? How many? I don't know. I don't remember. I didn't
deserve a mind. I didn't deserve it. That I should be a thinking,
feeling being was an injustice most vile.
All I know for sure is that during the summer I did this a lot. When I
made mistakes I would hit my head. I'd do it hard. I'd hit it again and
again and again until the words scrambled in my mouth and the floor
heaved beneath my feet.
I did this many times. With each time I got worse. After each time, I
got sloppier, more forgetful, more confused. I made more mistakes, and
as punishment for these mistakes I had to continue injuring myself.
It was a horrible positive feedback system.
There is little doubt in my mind that I was damaged irreparably. I was
never like this before.
But this is what I wanted. This is what I deserved. For my life to be
destroyed.
All because I have committed crimes for which I must be punished.
But my punishments themselves are crimes. The longer I live, the more
crimes I accumulate and the heavier my burden of guilt becomes.
>>24300926
I see the significance of things. They hum with a deep, biblical
significance. They flip and twirl and change like machines. Turning,
always turning. Turning and clicking. Clickclickclickclickclick.
Tickatickatickatickatickaticka. A movie projector, the flim flying
through it, gears whizzing, motor whining, intermittent mechanism
clacking.
It's bright. It blinds me. The projector is pointed straight into my
eyes and its light blinds me as it burns my reality into my retinas,
frame by celluloid frame.
>>24298281
Holy shit, me too.
I also have anxiety and depression. I think the fantasies help me cope. I have extremely complex and detailed worlds in my head. My worlds are basically "This wouldn't be a problem people have to deal with in my world." responses to things that sadden me or stress me out.
>>24289771
I have this, except it's more of like a DBZ type of anime in my head and I'm not in it
>>24298281
>>24301521
I'm >>24301037 and I'm so fucking tired I can't stay up to monitor this thread any more.
One of you shoot me an email or add me on YIM or something. [email protected] (or maybe .com I'm not sure)
>>24301037
>>24301286
Impressive list, I've added in Jurassic World recently and CoD 4 has been in mine at points.
Basically I'm a prodigy son from a very well respected and powerful family who has special powers. Lots of people have these special powers and society has kinda been built around them and used them as a tool for war. Think Naruto Shinobi and the Uchiha clan or Avatar The Last Airbender. People with powers have something similar to chakra from Naruto as well. That was the series that started my base universe years ago when I was an edgelord and was getting into Anime. I've been through lots of issues and overcome them, become a top ranking person, etc. My oneitis is from a rival family so it kinda has a Romeo and Juliet type spin as well. It gets pretty involved but that sums it up pretty well.
I'm curious, when you go see a movie in theaters do you constantly find yourself adding in things as it happens in the movie. Like I'll zone out from the movie to add in stuff as it happens if I think it's cool. Sucks when I just wanna watch the movie.
>>24289002
This. Usually "fuck" or "I should fucking kill myself" tho.
>>24293503
I get this. Does consuming the gore help you wrap your brain around it... to defend yourself against it? (I think that's what I do... not sure though)
>>24295785
This one caught my attention..."the noise they're shitting out?" Ha! I reckon when you really care about what they're saying, you'll connect without all the background noise... or get some fuckin' hearing aids, faggot
>>24288197
Hello female
>>24301697
Probably later. saved.
>>24298179
Pretty much the Heisman Award of the "well examined life" ... strong work
I'm starting to have doubts about what's real anyway. I can't really get that feeling that what I'm doing has weight on any sort of reality anymore because I don't really know what's real or not. Especially in my memories, It's weird but I can't really trust what I remember because I've got a habit of mixing things up all the time. It's getting harder to recognize people that I don't talk to regularly as being actual people as time goes on and I'm losing any idea of who I am as time goes on. I've got no idea what negative or positive traits I have anymore and I'm being driven to continue my life simply because I don't know what else I'd do if I didn't. I can still feel upset at trivial shit and have fun with the few friends I have but I feel like I'm growing apathetic as time goes on. Never really had a meaningful relationship with anyone else too so I don't even know what that means.
I grind my teeth and chew gum a lot too.
>>24289368
This is the most clearly-a-13-year-old post I've seen on 4chan in years
>>24291741
This is fucking wildly great writing. Holy fuck.
You're talented as fuck anon.
>>24298752
I'd bet you have bipolar disorder
i constantly chew on my fingernails/cuticles, also i'll be walking around alone and start laughing when i think of something funny so onlookers probably assume autism
I sing to my cat and drink too much alcohol.
Also, I think I'm manipulative unintentionally.. I just want to be nice to everyone..
>>24301981
That's funny amd in every thread someone says that, but I'm not female and in fact the most male person I know.
>mildly detach from everything around me
>feel like my vision is a few inches behind my current point of view
>everything on autopilot, not in control of my body
>reality is just a curtain i can peel away, current reality feels like 2d
>brain computes everything really slowly, takes ages to just turn off a light
>cant speak, family gets worried when i dont respond and stare blankly and move slowly
i hate it. seems like an anxiety stress response thing but it feels so real when it's happening
Keep an excel document of every movie, tv show, anime episode I've watched in the past few years
Keep excel documents of other dumb shit.
>>24302677
depersonalization disorder. it is an anxiety thing
ive had it 24/7 for like 8 years
>>24298179
We are one and the same holy fuck. I will literally rub and scratch and squeeze at my face for hours. It's embarrassing for me. I pull off skin elsewhere, too. I haven't shaved it though. I usually cut like, calluses off with cuticle clippers.
I have had two imaginary friends for two years that I legitimately believe posses a measure of autonomy.
I imagine they are kind of like a waking dream, animated by unconsious thought but not entire new people in themselves.
I am incapable of being concerned. I go between crippling terror in the face of my own mortality and a desire to end my life only marred by apathy.
I don't like pastries much
I go on hour long drives just to sit in my car and think while listening to music.
I stare off into space for minutes on end.
I have terrible short term memory.
I am bipolar and just started medication but idk if that's relevant to anything i listed.
>>24289002
Same here pretty much. I will randomly remember embarrassing moments and rage at myself. And I'll think of all the negative things that are going to happen to me in the future. I whisper under my breath "fucking kill me" or "I just want to die" all the time, even in public if I think nobody can hear me. I've said these things so often that it's a habit/reflex at this point.
Thing is I don't actually have suicidal thoughts, at least I don't think I have. I don't think of actively killing myself, but I care a lot less about what happens to me recently. Like I would hardly care if I got diagnosed with some terminal illness. It would almost be a relief.
I know it's all temporary though, all of these thoughts are because of the insane stress that I've been under for the past year or so. I need to go to counseling, fuck.
I'm too anxious to go to the doctor to see if I have an anxiety disorder
>>24302900
there are doctors who will talk to you over the computer.
>>24302932
I can only communicate complex emotions in frog pictures though
I often think "i want to go home"
Even when I'm home
I have regular power fantasies, many of which involve wanton rape and murder, national or global hegemony, or emotional and psychological dominion over others.
I belive in Jewish malovelence towards the white race
>>24296012
>>24289002
jesus christ i make a weird oinking sound from sucking what air is in my mouth down my throat, also something similar to billy bob thornton in slingblade like a hrrrmph, whenever im tense
>>24302959
depressing, but kek'd hard
>>24302473
i don't know about that. i'm 28 and have to have physical fits to forgot about the cringey shit i've done.
>>24302933
please tell me there is some sort of happy ending to that webm
>>24302861
Not suicidal, black or gay. Not sure why my brain chooses those words. if it doesnt go away when i get a job, ill need to suck it up and get t some help
>>24301697
yeah I'll do the same
>>24303135
she dead nigga. Who is gonna survive that.
>>24302933
Where is that gore from?
>>24302933
You're just a young edgelord like everyone else on /b/
You'll grow out of it eventually
>>24287704
Looking for stuff to say you do to claim autismbux, OP?
