my very first gf ever is an early 30s, post wall pot-head.
I have a small 5.5in dick and I don't think I can satisfy her. How do I get proof positive I can make her cum with my dick? I don't have any previous experience.
Also she told me she had 8 partners before but I don't believe it. She has lots of red flags
>travel
>tats
>drugs
>low self-esteem
>vagina is meaty
I know some of you robots will call me a normie but trust I am a true robot who was fucking around online and happen to meet this person literally down the street and she basically initiated everything.
>>24164598
why would anyone call you a normie for picking up trash like that
no one wants to be alone.
>>24164598
That's some bottom-of-the-barrel shit
Enjoy it, OP.
Jesus.
>>24164612
If normie was used for people who drank water OP would be someone who is worried of being called a normie for drinking piss.
>>24164598
You're probably her last chance at having a kid since she's old and no longer able to ride the cock carousel
>>24164631
>>24164612
why would you judge me for wanting to experience a penis in vagina and boobs and cuddling with netflix.
yes she doesn't shower so we can't cuddle often
yes she doesn't brush her teeth so it's like trash and bongwater mixed
yes she doesn't move at all during sex just lays down there like a starfish
but it was this or achieving wizard status.
>>24164671
I know. It's just the way it is.
Reality sucks.
>>24164671
Post a pic of yourself for reference
>>24164691
very similar to this guy but less heavy.
>>24164598
Travel isn't a red flag.
>>24164707
That sucks
Don't get her knocked up otherwise your babies will be retarded
>>24164723
well she travelled a lot by herself with groups of people and must've met a lot of foreign cock she could've had with no consequence.
and she said she only cheated once on her previous bf while on a trip with some random loser she met. She said also he had an 8inch penis but said it was sometimes uncomfortable and didn't make her cum.
>>24164671
I've been there man. It's okay. Any port in a storm, they say.
>>24164743
Please tell me this is a troll thread
>>24164598
>fucking around online and happen to meet this person literally down the street
How exactly? I could use a lonely 30-something gf to provide me with drugs and booze and a place to crash.
I'm a retard when it comes to social media and popular sites though.
>>24164743
Well yeah, if she admits to cheating while travelling I guess that is a red flag, but it's not the travel itself. If a girl wanted to sleep around she'd do it whether she was travelling or not.
>>24164743
>cheated once
Fucking. Dropped.
>with some random loser she met
Picked back up and fucking. dropped. again.
You're pretty much with a woman who'll incredibly likely cheat on you just the same, man. Don't do it.
I wouldn't mind her having traveled in the past, have tats, use drugs (as long as it's not junkie/addict amounts), have low self-esteem or whatnot. But no fucking way I'd want to be with a girl who has ever cheated. Fuck that shit, loyalty is way too important to me.
I'd rather stay virgin for the rest of my life than ending up in a relationship with a cheater if I can help it.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
>>24164671
not judging you, i understand it and pussy is pussy
just saying dont bother putting a fucking "dont be jelly" tier disclaimer when literally no one will ever fucking envy you for this shit
desperate times call for desperate measures isn't something anyone will blow you up for on /r9k/
>>24164767
video cam chats. But there's no way for me to recommend anything before it was a freak accident to meet her.
I don't wanna say which one for fear.
>>24164598
>>travel
How is that a red flag?
>>24164799
it's a red flag if she says it but doesn't do it
>>24164631
he want to satisfy her and make her happy too...ahahahahahah! I'm laughing so hard, seriously what the fuck is wrong with some people? ahahahahha!
>"so I met this woman which is a worthless piece of shit, I want to make her happy! any advices?" ahahahahahhaha!
>>24164788
it is to me as well. I live in constant fear. I started snooping her computer and phone recently but so far nothing worries me much.
Except for one thing.
she seems to be too much of an idiot to notice that almost 100% of the guys she talks to on facebook are either strictly work related talk or they are blatantly flirty, hitting on her. She just keeps replying to them in a friendly manner and doesn't even acknowledge.
Like this guy "apologizing" for looking at her pics in a bikini so often. and she is just like :haha, noo those are embarrassing"
She should be happy you're settling for her, this isn't even bottom of the barrel, you flipped it over and scraped it off the outside bottom. 5.5" is literally the mean size. Her orgasms dodon't matter, but if she's anything like my early 30s post wall pothead gf then 5.5" is plenty. I actually get angry when she cums or enjoys sex because it's slutty, and my gutterslut claims half as many partners as yours. I guess the good thing about such a power imbalance is she'll do anything, like take it up the ass or give non-reciprocated oral sex months in a row. My gf doesn't even take bc anymore. I told her her mouth and butt is all I need and that she's a bitch on the pill. She acted no different but I want her to know I will never cum in her nasty roast again.
Sex is fun, but it's not supposed to be fun for her. I'm a sadist with mommy issues, Madonna/whore complex, years of pent up anger, resentment over her not being a virgin, and resentment over her not being an 18 yr old 90lb 4'10 ginger. I've spanked her to the point of tears before and then made her suck my dick while tears still rolled down her face. Polycarbonate is your friend here, hurts like a bitch, something she'll never be if you wield it correctly.
>>24164827
She knows exactly what those guys are doing and is playing along. Don't trust her for a goddamned second, just hit it and quit it.
>>24164827
She sounds and looks legitimately on the spectrum.
Hell, how do you know she doesn't visit this place?
>>24164844
Your life is my fantasy.
>>24164844
I'd fuck your girl just to say that I broke up your relationship
>>24164792
>literally no one will ever fucking envy you for this shit
i envy op cuse i'm not a normalfag and never held hands with a grill
Do you want a fuck or a girlfriend? Start there. From your post it seems like your main concern is her satisfaction. Why then do you care about her cheating, her personality, or anything else? Get in a fuck, give it your all, then fuck off. She looks like, and sound like, a real looser. Don't make anything more of it if you value yourself and don't want to be a part of her shitty life.
>>24164872
she saw me posting on r9k and had no idea what it was. I told her I "found" this board recently after it was on the news because of the oregon shooting and it was just about frog-posting and making jokes. She has no idea about anonymous boards
>>24164827
>and she is just like :haha, noo those are embarrassing"
That sounds like the standard type of response women use while basking in the positive attention and sense of validation for other people than you also finding her attractive. It's pretty much woman (to a lesser extent even human) nature, not really an indication of ending up cheating on you any time soon.
Be afraid whenever you seem to not be satisfying her completely without error, or whenever a fight occurs, or whenever you might not give her enough attention (or too much) for her to grow uncomfortable with; basically whenever you don't rise or exceed her expectations of you, which will rise gradually as you exceed or reach it.
Also, don't expect her to actually properly communicate issues with you, but instead decide to bottle it up and vent or take "revenge" through cheating on you.
It's a ticking time-bomb, and there's no way to diffuse it. All you can do is either naively hope that it won't go off while you're around, or get away from it as far and as soon as possible.
I personally wouldn't stick around or at most maybe if I was just looking for an FWB kind of deal. Nothing serious what so ever. Ever.
>>24164598
>How do I get proof positive I can make her cum with my dick?
You don't, and why do you give a fuck in the first place?
>post wall pot-head
what did he mean by this?
>>24164915
What is she anyway? She looks like some weird cross between Jewish, Italian, and Indian.
>>24164907
well that's the thing.
My dream is to save up my money and move to a green area in the pacific northwest. I love the rainy and cold months and the summers there. I live very frugally on $22k/year and I've been working towards achieving that income from savings and investments. The way things are going I will be able to achieve this in 5-10 years depending on the economy.
I have hopes she can be my life partner and we can have a comfy life with hikes in the woods, visits to the farmer's market and enjoying our hobbies while working low stress jobs and having our basic income coming from my passive investments.
She says that $22k/yr per person is too low and that we need at least $35k/yr each.
Maybe I am delusional. I just want a companion in life. We do get along. I do most of the cleaning and cooking though and emotional support because she has bad anxiety attacks.
>>24164943
He meant that you should crawl back to reddit and stop with your cancerous "meeming" on /tv/ and /r9k/
>>24164966
Confirmed for b8 thread
I'm out guys
>>24164671
>achieving wizard status.
not wanting to be a wizz...nigga what teh fuck are you doing?
That's not her natural hair color. Lel, I bet she is graying. You should find a gray hair roots and make her feel bad about it.
use condoms
dont get her preggo
just bang her to get yourself off
dont fall in love (is this even possible with that bitch?)
>inb4 epic troll
idgaf
>>24164983
I dnk what to think if my actual life comes off as b8. I must be truly delusional and wrong.
>>24164598
She doesn't look ugly. Too bad she has so much baggage though.
>>24164598
OP you don't get proof positive, but if you are a fat bald piece of shit w/ only 5 inches of dick she must love you. she is not ugly, I find her cute anyway.
my gf is also in her 30s and has had a rough go at it. she has been married twice, once when she was 18, and her second marriage lasted 10 years. the last guy kidnapped her and tried to kill her because he was a psychopath and is now serving a 15-year sentence. early in her relationship I was already going w/ her to court appearances to say good riddance to the attempted-murderous lug as he was sentenced.
a checkered past is not a deal breaker. be happy and grow together now that you've got eachother, and stop worrying that your dick is small and probably doesn't make her cum. groom her (kindly) into a gf that showers, brushes her teeth, etc. patience, OP, bc if you're a robot you have problems too.
Here it is, another idiot playing the settle down game.
This is why women will never learn, there is always an idiot accepting to settle down with used goods.
That's pretty sad when you think about it.
>>24164966
Sounds comfy desu
But I honestly can't even imagine a gril who would be satisfied with that humble life without wanting to resort back to her old ways. Good luck tho senpai.
>>24165026
also,
>>24164966
>I do most of the cleaning and cooking though and emotional support because she has bad anxiety attacks.
this is me too OP. my girl is meeker than I would like her to be and less active, possibly more emotionally crippled than I am. or maybe I just am better at hiding it. at any rate, do what you can to help her get over some of it by bettering yourself. it is a kind of motivation.
>>24164598
>I have a small 5.5in dick and I don't think I can satisfy her. How do I get proof positive I can make her cum with my dick? I don't have any previous experience.
Most women can't orgasm through vaginal penetration, regardless of the size of your dick. Get good at eating pussy.
>>24165026
>15 year sentence
Gonna be ready to possibly deal with him when he gets out?
>>24165026
>the last guy kidnapped her and tried to kill her because he was a psychopath
alpha as fuck
>>24165108
I bet she still schlicks to the memory
>>24164598
She's garbage why do you care if you satisfy her or not? Just think about your pleasure if she whines let her fuck off you won't lose much
>>24165081
Yep. Invested in a shotgun and pistol after me and gf got together.
>>24164671
>yes she doesn't move at all during sex just lays down there like a starfish
the last one is funny because the complaint "just lying there like a dead/limp _____." is almost exclusively used by retarded virgin kiddies criticizing porn or dudes who don't know how to fuck.
if the girl is laying on her back... that's all she HAS to do. if she is riding/pumping/humping etc. then there is work involved on her part. if she is lying there on her back.. the skill is up to you.
the first two
>yes she doesn't shower so we can't cuddle often
>yes she doesn't brush her teeth so it's like trash and bongwater mixed
fucking disgusting and dropped
