Anyone else /suicidal/ here on /r9k/?
Been in and out of psych wards for a few months. Can't wait for that day I'm finally gonna do myself in.
They've got me on Risperdal to keep the voices away but it doesn't do shit.
v-voices anon? Sounds spooky, do they tell you about spooky stuff or are they friendly or what?
Are you sure those voices are not just your subvocalization?
psych wards never did shit for me
Reporting in
Going to do it next week on my birthday.
The voices in my head tell me to kill myself but i refuse to do it...
>>24161083
>>24161122
Usually the voices are people who claim to be continents away, like I'm somehow communicating with them through the air. We talk about their family, their friends, their life, whatever they're working on. I talked to this one guy who was working on a film about AIDS in England and he told me all this really personal stuff. Sometimes the voices are internal too, they usually tell me that I'm a prophet sent to save humanity and I have to read all this stuff to figure out how to ascend the human global consciousness to a higher level before it's too late and we kill ourselves with nuclear bombs.
>>24161182
Sounds like schizophrenia. Why are you all prophets or demons? Can't it be something more interesting? I hear voices and I declare I'm a fucking alien.
i've been to 6 different hospitals now i'm just more chemically imbalanced from all the drugs plus i have PTSD triggered by random shit abstractly related to hospital stays on top of my several preexisting severe illnesses
i tried to kill myself a couple times but after a second major existential crisis i kind of can't
i'm too fucked up to explain at this point
>>24161253
i've had a couple friends who were speaking to aliens for a while
If i may ask,
how does one get to the point of hearing voices?
iam very depressed and scared ill get there
Yes but I've dulled myself down to a low whisper
I ironically feel more dead now than I would hypothetically looking back on myself had I commited suicide sooner
Like at least that way I would've immortalized myself not as an empty nobody, but as someone who was fed up with the world and rebelling against it
I hate this a lot
But there's nothing I can do
I have at least another 30 years or so
And I know anything that happens between here and there is just a distraction from this fixation
I'm actually beginning to hate family members for keeping me here. I hate myself for hating them. It's fucked up. They're the only people who have ever loved me and yet I can't feel love for them because they refuse to let me go.
>>24161353
Lots of doctors think it happens when you're really really depressed, the DSM says that your depression has to be marked as "severe" if it has psychotic features. But from my experience it's just common in people who have relatives who hallucinate. It's mostly genetic and I don't think it necessarily means your depression is more severe than non-psychotic ones.
>>24161182
Awww shit, you better get to work anon!
>>24161353
They come once you become less invested in reality
Who knows it could just be some experimental brainwave CIA shit even, and it's really not contingent on you being any which way to begin with
I had a job I hated, no friends, no gf, even my family disliked me. So about two years ago I killed myself. Nothing fancy, just hanged myself with an extension cord. Now things are looking up! All the stresses of life pass me by. I highly recommend it.
>>24161182
Are the voices real? Im not joking senpai im worried now. Why are you on here when you should be doing what the voices say?
>>24161407
>/r9k/ is where you go when you die
knew it.
>>24161353
They just started for me one day while lying down being a general pieces of shit. I just started realizing the voices in my head are no longer my own and I'm not in control. It's like a low whisper to me that always gives me a dopaminergic "holy shit" reaction.
>>24161423
Well, yeah. I got nothing else to do.
"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you"
>>24161545
constant vigilance! and they think i'm mad!
>>24161182
Hey OP, how do you convince yourself the voices aren't real?
>>24161687
I'm not convinced. Sometimes they give me clairvoyant visions that come true.
>>24162385
Ooh, tell us more.
21st of November.
>>24162419
I'll like see a scene really vividly, like being in a car and coming to an intersection, or someone I haven't talked to in months messaging me, and then within a few days it'll come true.
>>24161060
6 months from the last time that I got out of psych ward is when I plan on doing it. All these hospital stays and Medicine really don't do anything to make me any less suicidal, not to mention the fucking stigma that comes with being labeled as having a mental illness. Fuck all of it.
>>24162450
How many times has this happened? Did you write down the vision before it happened irl?
I've never been suicidal. I thought once it would make things easier if I did it but I just don't see the point of doing it. do you think about doing it because you have a shit life, or do you feel an urge to do it?
>>24162529
Too many times to count. No I don't, the visions are never very helpful.
>>24162538
also how do you fail suicide, for all those people that have tried? it's not difficult to put a shotgun in your mouth. did you pussy out or were you just trying to scare people?
I mean I like to fantasize about suicide but I don't think I would actually do it. The only thing more pointless than life is death.
>>24162559
Lack of access to appropriate methods usually. Not researching proper interactions and such. Keep in mind most suicides are done on impulse by very depressed people after a difficult event in their life.
