>Stop by a bookstore with my mom after she picked me up from the train, we walk around and talk
>She asks if I want anything. I say not really, she reminds me I used to love books
>After a while she pauses and asks if I'm okay
>I say of course and force a laugh
>I can see the look on her face. She suprises me, asks if she ever did anything wrong
>I say of course not, but I can tell she didn't believe me
I really meant it too
>>24160278
Are you on good terms with her, by which I mean you aren't hiding anything or don't distrust her emotionally?
If it's really bugging you, I suggest talking to her about whatever issues you're going through. Even if you don't have something huge and it's no big deal for you, just seeing that you trust her enough to talk to her about it will probably make her feel loved and appreciated.
For years I was full teenage-rebel "my family is not #cool," and although my parents and extended family are all loving and wonderful I excluded them from almost all my life. I'm trying to undo that, and I know they recognize it was very much the late-higschool/early-college rebellion and don't blame me personally, but if you have a good family I'd urge you to do something like that.
If you're even a tenth as distant or socially awkward as this board's culture generally wanks about being, there are probably a lot of mixed signals or apparent apathy, even warning signs of hatred or suicide, that she might be seeing even if you're totally fine. Socially awkward people (like myself) give out false signals a lot because fuck if we know what this action or this facial expression will be 'taken' as.
>>24160522
I appreciate it senpai
It's the other way around though, I used to be badly depressed to the point of being suicidal but I'm a good liar so she never really knew. I just pretended I was a stoner until she noticed my room never smelled like weed anymore
I talked to her about depression stuff recently though, it felt good to get it out in the open, I'm just waiting and hoping therapy, mild SSRIs, and some lifestyle changes do the trick. In the meantime though it's shit to see her worry and brood because her kid is generally sad
>>24160742
>never really knew
There's a good chance she did, and never said anything because she didn't want to make you feel judged or uncomfortable. Maybe not, who knows. I have no idea if my parents knew I was suicidal for years, I still haven't told them.
Anyway, she has obvious reasons to be very concerned over whether you're "okay" now, right? That's great that you could talk to her about it, how did that go? I have no idea how to bring up my (mostly past) depression issues with my parents, thankfully I'm over the part where I let it come between us.
>mom sends me text messages every so often asking if i'm okay
>no reason to lie; tell her no
>asks why
>same reason every time
>asks if she can do anything to help
>say no because she can't
>stops sending me text messages until the next time
I don't know what she's trying to accomplish.
Man... this reminded me everything I say and do I don't really mean it, I just say and do things to get through the day, I've become extremely selfish and the apathy gets stronger by the year, I no longer seek companionship or friendships, I enjoy being alone and wearing my sick fits, grill kept looking at me the other day and I also realized that at this point the only thing I want a girlfriend for is sex, I can't feel love like I once did when I was 18 or 17, I just see woman as sexual objects, in a way it's a good thing because I'm no longer shy or autistic around them.
>>24160911
She unconditionally loves you, she's checking on her son/daughter.
>>24160999
>She unconditionally loves you, she's checking on her son/daughter.
That doesn't make any sense to me.
>>24161020
Because your not a parent.
>>24161256
>Because your not a parent.
But she has emotionally and physically abused me while I was growing up, kicked me out to live on the streets not giving a shit where I went as soon as she could ("get the fuck out of my house"), didn't answer my sister's phone calls when she was on the verge of killing herself and subsequently ended up going through with it, etc.
Why is she expressing interest in how I'm doing when she has done plenty to make me worse?
>>24161307
don't act all pissy like this guy should have known about all this new random information you threw at him after the fact. you're 100% a girl, that's girl behavior. sorry about the stuff you're pretending your mom did to you.
>>24161354
No you're wrong and I'm not acting pissy.
Idiot misogynist make me laugh more before I cry myself to sleep.
>>24161368
oh thank god, i was about to delete it and apologize. yes please laugh. women are cunts! hahaha!
>24 year old NEET
>mom and I often laugh together at how pathetic my life is
Anyone else know this feel? I don't even take offense anymore like the people in "soul crushing things people have said to you" threads. Something pathetically hilarious will come up in relation to my life and even I cant help but crack up
I love my parents...
Sometimes I have nightmare that one or both of them die and it fucks me up for days after.
I'm 21, they're 46 and 49.
I'm terrified of the day they die because I don't think I'll ever get over it and it'll ruin me.
Sometimes I hope I'd die first so that I wouldn't know the pain, but then I wouldn't want to put them through the pain of me dying either.
Anyone else know this feel?
>tfw mommy says I can stay a NEET forever because she doesn't want to be left alone when my siblings move out
>mfw wagekek siblings are jealous as fuck
>>24161478
The exact opposite here, I feel like I will never be able to bee myself unless both of them die. Sometimes I wish my entire family could die in a car crash, even though it would be a huge financial burden.
>>24160278
Thankfully my mom's life is more pathetic than my own. Sweet relief.
>>24161478
Dude,
You owe it to your self to sit down with a day or so to really let it set in and think your way through the process of your mom or dad dying . It is 100% going to happen. You can't allow yourself to fall apart when it does happen.
Address all the painful things like remembering when dad played soccer with you, or when mom made you that Halloween costume.
This shit is probably 10-20 years out bUT it's going to happen.
How about you process the emotions ahead of time so you can deal with it when it happens
>>24161665
great advice. take a day, get all your future grieving out of the way ahead of time.
another life hack i've found is that if you get a free day in your schedule, spend it on the toilet and poop out your next year or so of poops. it will save you a lot of time day-to-day not to have to worry about pooping, because you were smart and pooped ahead!
>pretty sure my mom found my aldacatone/progynova
>keeps asking me how I'm feeling
>asks me if there's anything I need to talk to her about
>tells me she'll always love me no matter what
>asks if I need to see a psychiatrist
>has cried in the car with me, dismissed it when I asked what was wrong
I'm not even trans, I just want to look cute, but I'm pretty sure she's expecting me to tell her that I am. What am I supposed to do in this situation?
>>24161810
>aldacatone
kill yourself degenerate
>>24161810
>not trans
>on HRT
So deep in denial anon
>>24161873
Oh, it's spelt aldactone. Sorry.
>>24161896
How am I in denial? I'm on HRT because I want to look cuter. I don't see myself as a girl and I don't think this makes me one.
>>24161605
You know what.. you are the first person to admit this, i feel the same way. Wish i could talk with you somewhere about how it would help you greatly
