who /mischief/ here?
>have a $100 visa giftcard from Christmas
>spend almost all of it
>friends and i go out to the bar
>open a tab on the gift card
>acquire a tab of $180
>leave before they try to run the card
profit
also,
>friend has a degree
>afraid of friend being more successful than me >every time he applies somewhere he puts me as a reference
>every time the companies call i tell them he has a drug and/or alcohol problem
I feel bad since i'm preventing him from getting a decent job, but I'm afraid of being left in the dust
My new hobby is arranging appointments with hookers without the intention of showing up.
>>24143864
thats pretty fucked up man
I have a $46 over draft fee at my old bank I still haven't paid off
>>24144320
Top rattle my friend
>>24144397
i opened a checking account just to get the free $100
>>24143864
Seriously, fuck you. At least just tell him he can't use you as a reference. Getting a job with just a degree is difficult enough.
>>24143840
dont they keep your drivers license
>>24143864
D E V I L I S H T A C T I C S
>go to mcdonald's
>use the restroom
>come out
>cashier person announces an order is ready
>take order
>casually walk out with free meal
>playing search and destroy on mw2
>join a game that's tied 4-4
>kill all my teammates with a rocket launcher
>>24143840
>>24143864
>>24144889
jesus you fucking newfags don't know how /mischief/ works
please kill yourselves
>someone is wrong on the internet
>don't correct them
>>24144581
I don't see how this happening very often, most people usually know when their order is called. If you walked out with it and someone caught you then you'd just end up getting beaten up.
The only way I can see this working is if they call for the order and someone wasn't paying attention/didn't hear the order so you end up taking it, also wouldn't the cashier notice who made the order? I mean damn they would probably recognize if it's your order or not.
>>24145056
Show us senpais /mischief/ then!
>old lady coming towards the elevator
>she makes a waving motion towards me
>hit every floor
>get out and hold the door for her
>"thanks sonny"
>let the door close behind her and don't even get on
>at a movie theater withfriend(theater had a no singles policy)
>room goes dark, movie gets to a very dimly lit portion, can barely see anything
>was chewing on gum the whole time
>see stacy with her BF sitting two seats to the right and one row ahead
>she had such beautiful, silky blonde hair..
>tfw I could never touch that hair
>tfw I could never have that hair
>it's cold so she's wearing a hoodie but the hood is down
>movie is almost over so I know that I can risk it without getting caught
>when everyone is focused on the action I pull the gum out of my mouth and flick it into her hair
>a few minutes later it cuts to credits and people start shuffling out
>see her pulling up her hoodie and probably mashing the gum deeper into her hair
>it landed sort of close to her scalp too so she can't just cut the end off
>mfw
If I can't be pretty, then noone can
>(theater had a no singles policy)
WTF?
>>24146247
movie theaters know days have a no singles policy. you can't see a movie by yourself
>>24146025
lmfaaooaoaoaoaoaoaoa omgggg!!!!!!
>>24146296
Really? Where? Is it because singles are less likely to buy buckets of air and corn syrup?
>>24146068
ROFL
O
F
L
>watch porn to make my dick diamond
>don't fap
>be neet
>during holidays normie cousin's talk about how hard they work
>one is paying child support
>the other alimony
>another one is about to leave wife because she's a huge fucking cunt that screeches all day
>I just listen and sip pop
>I giggle periodically
>they give me dirty looks
>one gets mad and calls me a loser
>i say sarcastically "you have a kid that you see twice a week, a job that you only get %40 of what you earn, I'm so envious of you"
>he gets all mad and stands up
>people surround him and say "he's nor worth it" "hes not worth it bro"
>i fix a plate and leave
normies are so combative.
>decide to try and be alpha, I'm sick of this beta shit
>already /fit/ and white and tall so I have potential
>sit next to qt on the bus on the way to campus
>mentally preparing to talk to this blonde, blue eyed angel
>sphincter-clenches.gif
>"h-hey sure is rainy out huh?"
>she says "um yeah it is, good thing I put on this jacket"
>laugh awkwardly
>visible sweat is running down my forehead
>don't say anything for like 20 seconds
>"s-so would you like to get coffee this Friday?"
>she doesn't look up, didn't realize she put earbuds in
>can't go back now
>tap her shoulder
>for some reason I repeat the same question except louder
>" I SAID, WOULD YOU LIKE COFEE WITH ME ON F-FRIDAY?"
>um no thank you I have a boyfriend
>sit there in silence for the rest of the 10 minute ride
>stealthily follow her throughout the day
>take the same bus as her after she gets out of class
>follow her home
>see she has a car that she gets something out of
>wait until it's night
>take a massive shit on her windshield
>slash her tires
>key her Camry
>write SLUT out with my key
>piss on her door handles
>break her mirrors for good measure
I was alpha right?
>>24146518
I wish I had the balls to do this to my family
Nice story
>Single mom with 3 kids wants me to be her atm
>Send her shit like this all the time
>>24146917
You posted this earlier. No one gives a shit.
>>24146814
I don't, because they're more useful when they think I'm niceI really am.
>>24146945
you t-too.
Tbqh senpai
>>24143864
This has to be the worst thing I've ever read on /r9k/
>>24146025
This is actually very funny
>>24143840
you're just an asshole, not a mischievous person. they usually take the money for people that run out or give a bad credit card out of the bartenders/waiters paycheck when someone does something like that. i hope they trace the card back to you somehow (usually you have to register them online before you can start spending them) and you get arrested.
doing shit like that is for children & thieves.
>Order at McDonalds
>Cashier asks me if I want fries with that
>Say yes
>I didn't actually want fries
>>24147575
Is normie wagekek triggered? :3
>>24145077
It's best to avoid confrontation
>>24147575
>they usually take the money for people that run out or give a bad credit card out of the bartenders/waiters paycheck
Either you live in a shitty country that would allow something like that to happen, or you are just plain lying. Have you ever been outside? things don't work like that kiddo
>>24147686
subby wagekekies are eager to bend over for an illegal dicking
>Dress like a normie
>Act like a normie
>think like a normie
>Have normie friends
>Actually robot
>Be me
>Be comp sci major
>Hit on grils from my course
>Ask one out on a date
>mfw she says yes
>have no intention of really going on a date with her
