>ted believes shaving is for pussies and trimming is for even bigger pussies. He has the nastiest greasiest looking caveman beard
>Ted watches porn several times a day, not turning down his TV and with the bass to the max
>I once hooked Ted up with a friend for a date. Ted was brought back after dinner and before they even went to the movie because he spent the entire dinner talking about why woman should be considered second class citizens.
>Ted steals movies from the public library even though it cost nothing to check them out.
>Ted sometimes refers to woman he passes on the street as walking meat holes
>Ted calls anyone he doesn't like "a fucking jew"
>Ted got kicked out of the local community college (when he wasn't even a student) for rubbing his balls against a transgendered person butt
>Ted has been brought home by the police several times for public deification
>Ted is banned from the local Arby's restaurant after calling the staff "a bunch of lazy nigs" because his fries apparently weren't right out of the frier.
>Ted is 21 years old and doesn't know how to tie his shoes so he wears slip ons
>Ted owns a dragon dildo and has it sitting on top of his dresser like a trophy
>Ted will drop down on the ground and start screaming like a child if he wants something bad enough
>Ted got our family banned from the local Red Lobster because he grabbed a random womans ass and asked "if he could take her to brown town"
>Ted frequently claims to have and IQ of over 150
>>24139836
Ted sounds like an alpha male.
>>24139836
Sounds like a cool dude
this is now an asuka thread.
>>24139836
>Public deification.
Some kind of God maker.
>>24139836
>with the bass to the max
I genuinely laughed
>Ted once tried to wrestle the pizza guy and "get a free pizza"
>Ted still uses the word "emo" to describe girls even though emo went out of style nearly a decade ago
>Ted doesn't knock on doors he walks in even in the bathroom when you're showering. But don't ever do that to Ted, he'll lose it.
>Ted collects nazi memorabilia
>Ted goes out of his way to read spoilers just so he can drop them in conversations with people
>Ted makes fun of anyone who mentions anime but acts as if we don't here it coming from his room
>We bought soundproof pads to put up around Teds room because Ted refuses to turn his TVs volume down, ever.
>Ted isn't allowed in the local rite aid store because he tried to beat up an old man "for giving him the devil's stare"
>Ted claims to know German but refuses to utter a single word in front of us
>>24139836
I remember a guy like that from school
>Marty had hair that looked like his parents had a stencil they put on his skull and trimmed around the edges
>He thought showers were bad for your skin, so he smelled terrible all the time
>Marty had 2 pairs of pants and 4 shirts - he would rotate through them (same pants, same shirt) a week at a time, regardless of food, sweat, dirt, or grass stains
>Only coasted through the easy classes with C-'s because no teacher ever wanted him back
>routinely claimed to be a 'certified genius' who was failing because the classes didn't challenge him enough and he was too bored to concentrate
>public deification
Shit like this gets people crucified.
>posting asuka
>Ted one time back when he was in school got suspended because he pantsed a girl and screamed "fire crotch". later found out she was a brunette and Ted didn't understand what a fire crotch was.
>Ted had a wrestling phase were he'd rip off his shirt screaming and try doing wrestling moves on people. The mail man maced him because he tried it on the mail man.
>Ted used to throw a bowling ball at the garage door. It broke because of this and never could open again.
>Ted is surprisingly still allowed at Wallmart even after he hid in the clothing racks and scared the shit out of several people
>Ted used to claim that red pens were made of dragons blood
>Ted has our entire old set of dishes in his room, simply because he never brought them back to the kitchen after getting something to eat.
>Ted calls our aunt a dyke to her face and tells her she's a dyke in denial. he's reasoning is because she has short hair.
>Because of Ted there is a sign by the stairs at city hall telling people to watch their step. Ted was trying to do the rocky scene where he ran up the steps after training and fell flat on his
>Ted tells little children santa clause isn't real
>Ted one time got into a fight with a homeless man after he "burger slapped" him.
>Ted used to frequently go to the park one summer. One time I went with him only to find Ted had made a hobby out of ripping all the bark off trees leaving the inner tree exposed and dying.
>Ted had a pet farret for a week, it died because he never gave it water with its food
>Ted goes out of his way to scream "FUCK THE POLICE" every time he sees a cop car
>Ted started drinking this year. The only thing he drinks is natural light.
>When Ted was younger he thought it was funny to shit on the old man across the streets porch. He stopped when the old man kicked him in the ass one time when he was mid shit and he fell into his own shit.
>Ted thought we lived in Pennsylvania til he was 14. We live in ohio near the Pennsylvania boarder.
>Ted brags about how many days he can go without showering
>Ted frequently brings up porn he watched.
>Ted talks all the time about how he hates black people but will never shut up about how he wants to do a black girl.
>>24139836
Keep them coming please
>>24139836
Tedd sounds like he should be an Admin here.
Lemme tell ya story about my favourite autist
>Have a quasifriend who is a 9/10, we go in same group btu aren't 100% bros
>he is also the biggest autist in the world
>hobbies include collecting pictures of Burl Ives ( I am fucking serious), Playing old cRPG's and gym, being a general autist
>So we got a Chad on paper but an autist in the inside
>we go to the library
>girls come ask him for some help since he's doing Advanced calculus or some shit
>starts explaining about pedophilia to them in the end
>Often scares the shit out of girls who are drooling for him with his IRL shitposting
>once we were on a holiday in LA, he meets a girl who is a real qt
>turns out to be related to Adam Sandler
>he gets her number
>proceeds to shitpost how Sandler is a hack and spams him Adam Sandler memes
>some milf plastic surgeon asks him out and tries to get him to go on holidays with her
>he keeps on asking her are her tits real or fake and shitposting
>he once bertstared down a tumblrista who asked him out
>Kept on spamming emails to Chris Avellone
>once was asked to be in a big budjet movie, turned it down
It's fun to be friends with an autistic Chad.
Eh, there's lots of more if anyone cares.
>>24141053
Please share more.
>>24141053
>kept spamming emails to chris avellone
>once bertstared a tumblrina who asked him out
>asked out by a plastic surgeon milf and he asks if her tits are real
>>24141181
>quasifriend has tourettes
>keeps on saying peoples names when he gets triggered
>go out once to a bar
>he gets triggered and keeps on muttering Ricky Gervais
>Some girl comes asking him does he like Gervais
>He says no
>she asks how come?
>he explains about the analogy of comedy to her and some other stupid shit
>She was not expecting for this to happen.jpg
>She's looking for an escape
>her friends come in
>OMG ANONETTE WHO IS THIS HUNK
>"Do you guys like Ricky Gervais too?"
>They're like wat
>"yeah, we do?"
>Holy shit you guys have shit taste in comedy
>walks away aka we're sitting at the bar and he just walks to where the last guy is (moved 4 seats) and waves at them
>roasties stare at him and so do we
>>24139886
>>24140101
>thinking that's asuka
nice power level dweebs
>>24141579
>>24141579
Heard this one from his best friend
>Got himself a phone cover with some VTM clansign
>trying to find a girl who recognises it
>be on campus
>a fat chick recognises it and starts yammering about VTM and fishmalks
>he shouts "NO ", takes off the cover and throws it in the trash
He's a very unbelievable person
>he gets tinder
>4 months later he has +1000 matches
>keeps on asking them to compete to be his girlfriend
>obviously the girls think he's a funnyman
>he's trying to arrange a roastie jousting tournament to decide who gets to be his gf
>actually got two girls to go on a date with him to discuss the jousting tournament
>one of them walked out on him the second she got there and saw the other chick
>the other one thinks it's fucking hilarious, some pothead Stacy
>he fucked her that night
>currently occasionally seeing her
>she's a devils advocate and makes him commit autism
>got him high on some research chem on halloween
>suddenly he's only slightly retarded
>all of our WHAT
>wakes up in another town with two girls
>apparently they gave him the clap
>tells girls who come to talk to him about this trip like it was something to brag about
Sometimes I don't know should I be jealous or at awe.
>>24141579
>>24141745
That's amazing stuff
