Hey r9k i came really cl9se to ending it tonight. I need help finding cyanide pills cause no guns nyc
>>24127336
Why anon? Care to talk?
When life's got you down turn that frown into a fenriz
>Ignore the RIP Qvorthon in the corner
>>24127465
Depressed for two years now got drunk tonight spoke to ex, still hates me almost jumped in front of traffic going home. Just tired of drinking my problems away.
>>24127336
I tried to kill myself twice OP. Tried hanging myself once with a shower curtain. It ripped and when I hit the floor I broke my knee. Pretty funny I thought about it for a while desu. I'm telling you right now though the hospital ain't worth going through if you fuck up. I also found out that after my second try, someone actually had interest in me. Now OP, they may not be a family member, or even someone you even know exists, but chances are there's someone who's dying for an excuse to chat with you. Find em OP.
>>24127747
The only problem is that i broke off contact with everyone i knew. Too afraid to find someone to talk to. Just want to end it for good.
>>24127634
The fact you are answering questions in this thread gives me some hope.
First off, you ex doesn't determine your worth. Just because a past relationship is ruined, doesn't mean all future relationships will be ruined. If she doesn't like you, well then it's her loss.
Second off, life is enjoyable when you interact with others. There is more to life than shitposting /r9k/ and masturbating to traps. Go outside and just fucking talk to people. I made myself talk to cash register attendants, then moved to people in line with me, finally I started speaking with people out in the public. I'm not as anxious as I used to be, and it's somewhat enjoyable to make a connection with another human.
Third off, maybe laying off the booze a few nights will give you a new perspective on life. I used to take way too much adderall in the past. So much that I wouldn't ever sleep or rarely eat. I stopped (through an intervention) and now I see how fucked I was at the time.
Finally, you might want to find people in your city who share things that you find enjoyable. I started playing smash brother in local tournaments. It helped me meet members of a community and I was able to build new friendships.
I wish you the best anon, I pray you don't do anything silly and that you will take some of the advice being posted.
>>24127857
No OP, you got this. Life's a bitch, and you should be her pimp. Fucking go out, say hi to someone, chances are they'll say more than just high back. Take a walk through the woods. Find new music. OP I'm not a changed man from my experiences, trust me, telling people to go out and fucking talk to someone new is not something someone like me would say, but goddamn OP, fucking do it. Go to a new bar, ask that qt3.14 what's up, smoke a J for all Anyone cares. You've got this
>>24128202
I loved her. The only reason i ever left my house was her. I literally cant speak yo people without my heart beating super fast. The only reason i was able to start this thread is because im still a bit fucked up.
>>24128228
Tried talking to new people, felt so stressed i went home. Its the same thing everynight go home and think of ways to end it. Im losing hope
>>24128382
Op I have loved 3 girls in my lifetime. You'll learn to get over that shit. It will hurt like a bitch, but you will get over it. I promise. Don't let it end because of a skirt.
Cyanide is gonna be painful as fuck, dude. You definitely don't wanna go that route.
Try to get your hands on a bunch of opiates if you can. If you're lucky, you'll nod off and die from respiratory failure.
>>24128551
My best hope would be a gun. I know cyanide will get the job done. The result is all that matters
>>24128588
cyanide is best homemade, finding cyanide 'on the street' is sketchy and buying off of darknet marketplaces is unreliable.
most people that 'sell' things like cyanide and GHB are narcs.
I've been down this road before, and i'm still not completely off it, but killing yourself over a girl is the dumbest thing you can do. women will always be shit, find comfort in the fact that you're better than them, you're above all those smelly little whores drowning in their own hormones and ego trips.
get over the girl, and don't 'get over her' by latching onto some other cunt, if you're still interested in offing yourself look on the darknet for a good cyanide synthesis recipe, or take a high caliber bullet to the back of the skull.
Listen to Dancing In the Dark by Bruce Springsteen.
>>24128794
This actually helped a little. Thanks man
>>24128504
I keep telling myself that. But she was the first person to make me feel human. I never spoke to others and everyone left me alone. But she went after me. After 3 years it all ended because im retarded. I cant forgive myself.
>no guns nyc
there are hella guns upstate and in other rural areas
>>24129222
New York CITY pretty hard getting a permit. Dont know any contacts to get one illegally
>>24129314
Move to PA, easy to get there
>>24129136
I believe in you anon. Don't take the easy way out.
>>24129453
>easy way out
>You want him to needlessly suffer so you don't have to feel bad.
Selfish cunt
Fuck off all of you giving OP information on how to kill himself. If the dude truly wants to kill himself, he'll find a way, he'll find his information without you people's suggestion. Fuck off and focus on your own shit lives that you have to deal with.
>>24129529
Shut up you complaining bitter fuck. You deserve to die more than op does.
I hope your death is million times more painful than anything op goes through.
>>24129605
And I hope you join me in death you fucking swonk
>>24129529
I actually asked for help.
Damn sure is Reddit in here wtf lol every normie thinks they are a therapist because they took psychology 101 anyways op life is meaningless so kill yourself or give your life meaning. You're prob some sheltered suburban white boy with both parents you're problems are petty everybody on this websites problems are petty get over it.
If you wanna die go to your nearest a.c and inhale the freon it will kill you and you'll be high as shit
>>24129136
Going through the same scenario myself, man. It sucks having all of your favorite memories turn to ash in your mouth.I'm finding out that it helps to completely lose myself in something; I'm getting back into reading comics again.
I know there's something out there for us, anon. There has to be.
>>24129936
I used to play vidya to keep myself entertained, diesnt bring me joy anymore. Best of luck to you man.
>>24129628
We're all going to die, unless I'm unwittingly immortal.
You're an idiot.
>>24129936
Seriously feeling you, anon. I want so desperately to not be haunted by memories but it seems the more time passes the more unbearably intense they get. I guess it's my subconscious trying to tell me my current life is shit and to make positive changes so I can make new memories. I'm too much of a coward to do so, though...
iktf
Normally I just smoke a bong then give up caring but I haven't been able to get some so I've resorted to drinking instead. Nothing in my life ever goes right, or at least the way I want it to. I've tried but I'm such a failure and fuck everything up, I want to kill myself but I'm scared I'll fuck that up too.
Can you OD on meth? If so how ? or whats another good drug I could get easy access to OD on? No guns here in Kiwiland.
