Why are many guys so afraid to emotionally open up? It's like they are totally ashamed when they do and they just bottle everything up inside?
Because that's what is expected of men by society, just look at how movies portray male leads. He is always the macho badass hero that doesn't need feelings, and so society expects males to act this way so we hide our feelings
>>24125545
if they open up, they're considered pussies
Because nothing drys up a vagina more than a man busting his emotional load all over her face.
You gotta do it in little spurts, to make it seem like she's cracking your tough-man-shell and getting through to you.
It's all bullshit headgames and shit tests with women, make one wrong move and she's off looking for Chad to fill her up.
>>24125545
Because it's easier. Second nature, really. Makes me less vulnerable and shit
>>24125545
some men do go to ridiculous lengths to act distant or unaffected
but mostly. like 90% of the time. it's women having no skills. aka "game." they're just like "WAAH TALK TO ME." or overtly therapeutic like "what is wrong, you can tell me anything at all, and we can talk about it in deep detail."
the media just tells women this shit to make women feel like they have something over men. "lol we're so in touch w/ our emotions yay." you're literally RULED by your emotions. men have that response because it literally makes us functional.
why do you even need to know about his emotional distress. all you're going to do is get scared, or feel "weighted down" and fucking run away. just enjoy the ride. like you always fucking do anyway. jesus christ.
As men, are taught that emotions are weaknesses, and are conditioned the same way.
But that's not the extent of it.
Many of us, even those of us who haven't been emotionally hurt by a woman we loved, won't let women in because it's hard to trust a woman. And trusting a woman with your feelings, essentially the part of yourself you want to hide the most to be respected and accepted, requires a lot of trust. Being seriously hurt by someone you love only makes it harder. And I know from experience that letting your emotions and fears show too openly can factor into a woman's love for you decaying. I lost my first love in this way, and I'll never experience that kind of connection with another human being.
But life goes on, and through locking up my emotions I keep my loneliness and hopelessness from defining me as a person. In this sense, I'm not at all alone.
>>24125545
Because if you do, you get made fun of.
>>24125545
>Why are many guys so afraid to emotionally open up? It's like they are totally ashamed when they do and they just bottle everything up inside?
How to dry up pussies like the desert.
Chad doesn't talk about his feelings.
>>24125545
Men are expected to harden up and now you want them to be emotional? People should stop expecting men to be things they aren't! You're part of the problem!
feelings are gay
>tfw raised predominantly by father and uncles
>tfw taught crying and emotional displays are a sign of weakness
>tfw female and people think I'm cold b/c don't display expected female actions/reactions
>>24125831
>you're literally RULED by your emotions.
This claim has always befuddled me.
Aren't we all largely ruled by our emotions, just by nature of being human? I've known women who bottle up their feelings and I've known men who are willing to be open about them, everyone has goals at the end of the day and those who really drive to achieve their goals are driven to do so for emotional reasons.
I have a hard time believing that when you're seriously heartbroken it doesn't affect your actions, regardless of whether or not it shows.
Reading this thread.
Going to close myself off emotionally, thanks for more insight r9k.
My mother fucking emotionally keked me and I was very feminine raised to believe the lies of women while also being a virgin for a while.
I'm glad I became more self centered it's what got me laid, I've also never been happier over all.
Focus on yourself and your own pursuits, fuck everyone else.
Truth is people can easily trample on your heart
If you open up that means making yourself vulnerable, some girls just like guys refuse to open up due to the fact that not everyone treats others equally
If you open up to the wrong person and are hurt that may in the long run cause you more pain than completely sealing yourself off
Being emotionally "open" is not a good thing for most men. Talking about our feelings get us nothing but lost respect and/or pity, neither of which is a good thing at all.
If you show emotion you are perceived as weak. Being weak is effeminate. What girls want and what they say they want are completely fucking different. The male is supposed to be the strong one, the "rock".
I don't like to open up emotionally because it gives people ammunition when they want to hurt you.
>tfw occasionally open
>tfw healthy balance
It could be healthier and in time it will be
I just need to make better choices and act wiser
It's because all the advice you could ever get from a woman is misleading, counterproductive and useless, so it's better to solve things on your own.
>>24125638
Too true, its basically just a game, and its better to withhold your feelings, at least then you know you didn't crack and weren't humiliated by her
Most people don't care about your problems so opening up doesn't do anything. They will also inevitably use it as ammo against you in the future. That's why I only ever talk about my feels on /r9k/ because nobody here knows who I am and will never be able to betray me.
>>24125545
if youre not chad opening up is just creepy.
I've opened up before and always regretted it.
She completely stops talking to me, which makes things even worse because now I'm vulnerable and rejected.
in short: give up
>>24125573
No it is not.
>Being this bluepilled
Kek.
>>24126216
Humans are trash anyways makes me glad i'm better then most people.
>be man
>likely to get rejected 99/100 times
>emotional involvement is a waste of time
Fully investing emotionally in a woman is the fast track to C U C K ery. Lacking empathy or any concept of responsibility, once you fully invest in her, she'll become bored and look to get fucked by Chad, if she wasn't already actively looking to do so.
In short, it's a complete waste of effort, and most women can't understand a man's emotions or they mock and belittle them.
Never "open up" to a woman. You're fucking dead when you do that.
>Raised by single mother for 8 years
>Step dad is a beta manlet
>No real father figure.
>Bottle everything up and lash out at people in high school.
>No idea how to slowly bleed out emotions
>After school
>Get first girlfriend
>Finally learn to be my own man
>Still trying to figure out how to bleed out emotions slowly
>>24125545
everytime i say what i actually, honestly think, im criticized for it.
women don't want a beta feely man. keep your fee fees to yourself.
Literally men are not allowed even emotional support or we become beta and women start looking away.
>>24126286
Prove it wrong then.
>>24126216
>That's why I only ever talk about my feels on /r9k/ because nobody here knows who I am and will never be able to betray me.
This why an anonymous internet community can be such a useful tool.
You can shit in a virtual bucket designated for people to shit in, as opposed to shitting your emotions on anyone close to you. You also avoid bottling up your emotions, which can be worse when it all comes out.
>>24125545
Women ask men to open up to see if they're stable, not to help them. Just like how men ask women to show them tits. We don't like you, we want to fuck you.
I used to cry a lot as a kid. Like even up until middle school. I guess the more I got bullied the less emotion I showed. I was more like a husk of a man in high school.
I didn't really start showing emotions until I was out of Community College. The last time I opened up to anyone was my mother. It just kinda happened and I really dont know why I told her about my bullying and experiences.
>>24125545
There's really nothing wrong with being tough and guarding your feelings.
But if you constantly tap down your emotions and don't share them with people you trust, your bad emotions will slowly build up inside you, until the pressure inside is explosive.
A lot of men have ended up doing bad things to others when they finally reached their breaking point.
>>24125545
It's because "society" tells us that we need to bottle up our emotions, or else we are not men. Women particularly like to tell us we can open up, but it's just a trap and a test. When we do open up, they laugh and leave us for the next guy.
>>24125545
Bitch please, you would run away or c.ucked him if he opened up to you. The only person he can 100% open up to is Jesus since everyone else have a high chance of damaging him even further
>Open up
>"Haha pussy"
That's if you tell people you don't know that well or really just standard friends. But usually there's a few you genuinely love, female or male, and you can trust. If you're a robot, you won't have this, but if you aren't, you'll know those 2-3 friends who you can be real with.
People don't care. I don't trust them anyway i can see they give a shit about it.
So fuck it.
>>24126216
this. Why would I bother people with my problems? My problems are lame. All that's going to happen is they'll show pity (which is the last thing I want, fuck that) and/or I'll have given them something to shit on me for. So I'd rather just not open up because nothing good is going to come of it. Especially to a girl.
>>24126071
>heartbroken it doesn't affect your actions
it doesnt affect it at all
>>24126768
Then you've never really been heartbroken, if you didn't need time alone to just cry.
Think of it this way.
If a guy opens himself up to people, particularly prospective women in his life he's just being whiny or emotional, no woman will respect a man that cries or crumbles under the first sign of trouble or anxiety and why should she?
There's alot of people that take this too far and think that you should never show a significant other any sort of emotional weakness but the truth lies somewhere between, you only open up to those you're closest to periodically.
You should be free to share your feelings with very close friends whenever, a sign of a good friend is consistent support whenever things are down or even if you don't want to.
A girlfriend is different as girls will more often than not be able to pick up your mood or emotions easier, the key is to know when to share and when to shut up. Usually a girl will give you a cue or "allow" you to vent your frustrations to her for a period, this is the good way of sharing your emotions with a girl, if you just come into your/her house and start complaining about everything then she has nothing to do, nothing to work about you so boredom sets in, if she has to take the effort to pry your emotions from you it makes her feel like she's achieved something as well as making her feel valued as a companion.
It's when little bitch boys tell someone they love them and then use them as a second mother to complain about their thoughts and feelings that they get rejected and start to become bitter and disillusioned. If at any point you're sharing your emotions without being prompted you're doing it wrong, There's nothing wrong with being guarded but being completely aloof is also harmful.
Heres why
>About 10 at the time
>Got my ass kicked
>At home crying
>Dad tells me that men don't cry
>He says to get it out of my system while I'm young
>Haven't cried since then
>I end up being emotionally distant, but tough
>People rely on me because of it
>Years later I meet a girl when I'm 19
>Gives me that reason to fight I've always needed
>Before I just kept working for no reason
>She always asks why I'm so distant
>I eventually open up to her and feel happy
>Working my ass off but now I had a reason
>She starts smoking pot because she wants to have "fun"
>I tell her to knock that shit off
>She cheats on me and destroys my confidence
>Exploits all my weaknesses and tells me to go die
>I said nothing and blocked her number and every means of contact
Still havent cried. There's not a chance in hell anyone is getting in my head again.
http://markmanson.net/power-in-vulnerability
>>24126071
You should be able to separate emotion from logic, and by that I mean understand which is which not completely ignoring emotion.
Because whenever I say how I feel, it just immediately gets discarded because the other person comes up with a reason why I'm wrong for feeling that way. So, fuck you, bitch. The only way I could see myself opening up is if I explode, and even then they'd still just be like "Lol no your feelings don't matter because you're wrong"
>>24125545
Why do you care if i do? are you going to listen and give a shit no? then why bother? i hate people and i rather explode and watch them be typical assholes who give no fucks about anybody or anything.
>>24126809
explain how your actions would be any differentother than just crying by yourself
The moment you show emotion, a woman will leave you. Maybe not physically but she's checked out of the relationship at that point and is looking for something else.
That's literally all that happens on this board OP
>>24127278
>Not being jaded and distrusting from getting hurt
You're really dumb and dont know what you're talking about
>>24125545
I'm of the belief that if you do choose to talk about your feelings with a woman, do it very carefully and calmly. Say what you feel you need to get out, but do so in a way that retains composure and control. The key is to steel yourself as to no longer care about rejection, and there are many useful CBT tecniques that I've learned to enable this. It takes practice and it is very difficult.
The botom line is that if a woman can't handle my bullshit, then it's hypocritical to think that I should be expected to put up with hers. Be in control of your feelings as a man, but don't let them overrun you and scare people away. There is strength is exposing yourself, showing that you can take the hits. If she's worth it she'll recognize that. If not, screw her and move on.
>>24127415
what are the useful CBT techniques?
We aren't afraid, but we are not rewarded.
A woman crying in understood, and gathers sympathy. A man crying is weak, and possibly dangerous.
Women say all kinds of bullshit about men "opening up", "being in touch with their feelings" etc. Don't listen. It's social death, it's dating death. As a man, the first time you have cried against your will, you will simply never be the same man again. It's like shitting your pants in public.
I'm not afraid of opening up. I have learned that as a man, opening up only makes things worse.
Its been said a million times before and I'll be one of the guys to repeat it. When you open up emotionally to a girl, she will think you're garbage.
I had never dated any girls and just fucked girls on tindr or hookups with friends, until I literally stopped caring about everything since I was getting fucked by life with no Vaseline.
I asked out a coworker, she thought I was alpha as fuck and super outgoing. I ended up really liking her, to the point where I thought I would marry this girl, so what did I do? I opened up.
Queue the planning in her head to leave me. I remember telling her too, that if she decided to leave me or I left her, could we at least be adults about it? Just tell me why so I would know for the next time around with someone else.
So of course, she just leaves without saying anything, and its funny, its like she did everything possible from what I had told her to hurt me the most. The only saving grace there is that I've always been a master of bullshit and lying to people in real life, so some of the things I told her weren't even true. Yet she followed that blueprint with real and bullshit things just to hurt me from what she knew about me. Why would someone even do that?
Jokes on her anyways, the pot she was buying from people in town was pot I was growing, so she just paid twice what everyone else got charged.
So yeah, if you have to vent emotionally, do it here on /r9k/. 4chan is almost like an online bar, you can come here for the sad drunk part of the bar and go to /sp/ or /v/ for the fun part of the bar.
In real life, just keep on with your lord Kitchener face and don't spill your bullshit sphagetti on girls.
Its just how they are, I don't know why but it just is.
>>24127488
>CBT techniques
Didn't help if anything it made me more depressed
>>24127488
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=cognitive+behavioral+therapy+rejection&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart&sa=X&ved=0CBsQgQMwAGoVChMI_8vNgLOCyQIViHYeCh1qyweY
In a nutshell, doing the things you fear which your rational brain intellectually knows are not dangerous. Entering yourself into a Ulessy's contract, holding your feet to the fire, and altering your own thoughts to positively reinforce your new habits each time slight reward is gained by doing difficult/ scary things. By building upon that reward feedback, the things you fear gradually become easier.
It's hard as fuck and takes a lot of dedication to rewrite the reward pathways in your mind, but works really well. Certainly has improved my life.
>emotions
i feel like i dont even have these tbqh
people treat you like trash for so long you just stop trying. im done, its over. fuck everyone else i just want to work at a dead end job until i kill myself alone.
>>24127745
If only i had the courage to end it...
>>24125545
Opening up infront of women is stupid and will fuck your life up
Just do what everyone does pretend everything is alright and have your strong drink alone
>>24127778
let someone else end it for you, become the supreme gentleman anon.
ive always wondered what would happen if someone shot up a place and screamed beta uprising until he was gunned down.
men are fragile. break his inner psyche and he is nothing.
We will go to great lengths to keep others out, but it is easily penetrable by love/greed
>>24125545
I do want to open up, but I know that girls hate guys who show any emotional vulnerability.
Your partner is also supposed to be your best friend who you can be honest with, but girls only care about sex.
I fell in love with this girl I was friends with for 2 years and I really wanted to be with her. But then one day she starts dating this guy she just met in class. WTF? I was her best friend for so long and she throws all that emotional intimacy away for a cheap fuck with some guy who doesn't even know her?
It was at that point I realised that women don't care at all about emotional intimacy. For them it's all about sex and the status of the male
It's probably because people hurt you when you do that. If you're used to not opening up, it's not so bad. When you try and open up to a girl, she'll see it as weakness and use your vulnerability to her advantage. Not all women, but enough that most men get burned one time too many to remain open.
so many memories of me opening up... fucking cringed. i am not talking about opening up to a gf, fuck i never had one. just talking about it in class or with "friends". i just recall their disinterested and annoyed faces and wish i could go back in time to shut myself up. people like it when i crack a joke but i talk about my life a bit they turn around, roll their eyes and just nod impatiently. nobody cares about anybody. wish i had known this sooner
Because being ruled by your emotions is not something healthy men do. If another man started talking to me about his "feelings" I would assume somethings wrong with him.
>>24128419
You are the problem
>>24126094
Too many of us robots were raised by single mothers without any male role models in our lives.
What kind of dating advice will a single mom in her 40's be able to give her teenage son? She'd teach him to behave in a manner that would attract a single mother in her 40's, not a teenage girl.
Single mothers raise future beta bux.
Because opening up = pretty much death in every sense of the word
Thats why women are the accepting triangles and men are the looming towers.
Women have conditioned men to become stoic and bottle emotions. That's about it. That's why men don't "open up".
>>24128566
>Too many of us robots were raised by single mothers without any male role models in our lives.
You know i been hearing that a lot over the many years i been here and didn't believe it was a problem.
I grew up the same way i guess it was a problem. No wonder i'm so fucked up. My real dad is dead and my step dad didn't give to much of a shit about me.
Because when they do they are seen as one or more of the following:
-Weak
-Gay
-Misogynist
-Perverted
>>24125545
its because we've been programmed to do so because when we "open up" as you put it we get shut the fuck down and rejected and told "lol you have issues"
opening up to a woman automatically puts you in the shithouse because youre not self assured baby machine like CHAD
>>24125545
>JUST MAN UP
>SUCK IT UP
>BE A MAN
Because these are the responses you'll get. Men aren't allowed hugboxes like women
>>24125545
Ever had the thought that a guy would rather resolve the problems on his own rather than having to involve every single person on social media?
>>24125545
As others have said before in this thread, it's emasculating to a man to reveal his personal woes since it's also a concession of dependence, that you need someone else to even face your problems. This is not the traditional ideal for men, and men who don't embody those ideals are punished socially. Even if you convinced your partner that you were trustworthy, you wouldn't be able to undo a lifetime of social conditioning.
And there's the fact that most women are unable to empathize or relate to a man's problems at all, let alone a meaningful way. This is another reason, that talking about it sours the relationship because the man's concerns will never be reciprocated the same way the woman's is. The man already has to meet all your emotional needs and you expect him to fulfill his own as well.
Because we know no one likes weakness in men, women especially. When say they want their significant other to be more emotionally open, they mean they want to see just enough to feel like they have their hooks in him and then immediately have it shut off again. Any more than that and she'll start worrying that he's weak and that if shit hits the fan she'll have to be the strong one that makes things right, and women are terrified of this more than anything else. After that happens, respect and attraction totally dies, and the relationship along with it. Dudes control their feelings as best they can because nothing good comes out of being open about anything.
>>24125545
Because people like to spit on our soul at every opportunity.
Why would we open up?
>>24129031
>Because we know no one likes weakness in men, women especially
Not my problem it's theirs.
Women tend to be emotionally immature and stunted and are confused when men don't struggle the same way.
I don't open up because I have no need too. If I have a problem I try to fix it. Crying and shitting my pants like women do doesn't solve my problem so I avoid those behaviors. If I lose my composure ad end up crying, which has happened a couple times, usually after drugs, I make damn sure I am alone and no one sees me being a pussy.
>>24125890
this and
>>24126094
made me decide im just going to lock away all my heartache forever and throw away the key, im not even going to mention it on r9k anymore, fuck this
>>24126031
>tfw raised predominantly by mother and nannies
>tfw taught crying and emotional display are A-OK
>tfw male and people think a weak ass pussy bitch b/c don't hide feelings
>tfw ended up avoiding everyone and everything eventually because afraid of everything and everyone
Got diagnosed with AvPD when I was 19 and been NEET since age 16.
>>24129029
re: not caring about emotional problems, that's not gender exclusive.
nobody cares about your personal woes, especially problems people view as illegitimate e.g. I cant get a gf.
you can't get a gf? ok what are you doing about it? nothing.
that's the difference between a illegitimate and legitimate problem; like having a family member be in a car accident is a legitimate problem that people will give you support for.
not having a gf isn't a legitimate problem.
> b-but my emotional pain
talk to a psych.
i dunno why this argument gets perpetuated, because if I said to you to sit down and listen to somebody whine about being foreverlaone you'd probably tell me to go fuck myself -- but somehow because it's about YOU people NEED to listen because you're special or someshit.
>>24128682
You shitty tripfag
Anyways, its moreso men who compete agaonst each other that created the strongman stereotype
If a weakness appears, we men will abuse it to destroy the other man. Even if its not in the real world. As on just destroy their superior image to yourself, thus elevating yourself above them. If you crave power, you know thism
>>24125545
chad isn't "afraid to open up" you roastie he just sincerely doesn't give a shit about or have real feelings toward you
>>24129256
You are the problem please end it
>>24129318
nope, gonna leave you where I found you, floundering in the mediocrity of your own existence.
you wanna save yourself then start swimming.
>>24129365
You need to die please.
>>24129256
cancer: the post
>>24125545
Because just like how we don't give a shit about their problems, they don't give a shit about hours. As long as you provide, you're useful and worth talking to.
>>24129365
kill yourself hth
Because a man's deepest beliefs, his terrors, his dreams and the ilk should be private. They should be kept sacred; and shared only with very few. In this way, a bond is created between those few people and yourself. Further than that, secrets hold power; I've never understood the propensity to share so much about the inner chambers of your own brain-box.
Yes, it is a character flaw to remain unaware of the impact, scope, depth, and form of your emotions. Likewise, it is a character flaw to keep these emotions on display for all to see.
There's a time and a place for both.
By all that drivel, I'm assuming that this is taking place in "real life". To me, 4chan doesn't "count" (boy, we're lucky!) if that makes sense. It isn't detestable to post deep, well-hidden for good reason feelings here.
But to do so haphazardously in real life is detestable.
>>24129406
Humans make that choice to be that way it didn't have to be this way but you choose that all of you. You me and the rest of the world rather live in a shit hole and watch the world burn for personal gain and greed instead of making a better world for us and our children
I pray every day this world comes to a end and you're left with nothing but the clothes on you're back with you're fellow man and see that you are all the same in the end. You will be punished in this life or the next for you're cruel and vile ways. It feels me with joy knowing you're punishment will come and the pain will be forever and all you had to do was help out you're fellow humans.
>>24129256
this is exactly why guys don't open up
because as soon as they do some stuttering dickhead rushes in to tell them their problems aren't good enough and don't count and suck it up and be a man
>>24129256
>>24129365
>why don't men share their feelings?
>wow you fucking insecure loser, that's not even a problem.
Who are you to decide what is and isn't emotionally signifant to any person? And it's true that not all concerns are of the same weight or fully justifiable (that's why it's emotional) but that's not the point of this thread. The premise is, why are men typically bottling their emotions? Because the response you gave is the exact kind that they expect, that their problems aren't really problems.
You also assume that any unattractive person isn't proactive in trying to get a gf, and that human companionship isn't a need.
>>24129256
While I actually tend to agree with your overall sentiment, I feel that you worded it poorly.
You differentiate between an illegitimate problem and the legitimate cousin by the offering of emotional support by the general population? That is, if most people would not offer condolence or other emotional support for your issue, it is illegitimate?
I do agree that if no effort is taken, as is common with lack-of-romance sort of issues on this site, then complaining about it isn't justifiable. I'm no Christian, but I do subscribe to the concept of sin. I believe that this action of spewing vitriol towards other humans and whining about an issue, without any genuine intent to improve much less tangible improvements is a sin.
Even so, even a problem that the majority of a population may consider irrelevant, illegitimate, or trivial should not be considered so as absolute truth. They're perfectly legitimate problems.
The real issue is the lack of genuine intent to improve, and with tangible improvements that go along with it. Complaining and being surrounded by others doing the same is comforting, in a perverse way. And it is certainly easier than improving.
>>24129690
I like what you posted for the most part. Could you share what you think about
>>24129479
that?
I do believe that "bottling emotions", although the phrase has nearly nothing but negative connotations is absolutely useful and necessary for men.
And I don't say this for the reasons many would say similar things. I don't say it because "well you dont have a right to make that other person awkward" or anything like that.
I feel that strong emotions like these and religion should be treated similarly; they should be deeply personal, private, SACRED things. They're not to be shared with others outside a select few. Not for fear of exposure, for fear of what the other person will say. But because such strong feeling and emotion should be kept as important, not trivial. Not something to whine about daily.
I'm probably talking like a stoned freshman pseudoscience student. Apologies for that. I'm on the third shift and my thoughts are a bit jumbled.
>>24125545
i'm not afraid to open up emotionally i just find literally no need to do so.
>>24129765
The post you are referring to seems to have been incited by the image I used. I feel the need to bring this up since you both mention that lonely people tend to be complacent, the fact is that the image comes from a Reddit thread of a man who approached hundreds of women and failed:
>manlet approaches a several hundred women over the course of four years
>is rejected each time yet keeps trying
>posts his frustration to Reddit in the hopes of gaining sympathy and advice.
>gets told he's a desperate creep and is brigaded to the point of being banned.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/3n7zqs/as_of_today_i_have_been_rejected_1000_times/
Top comments:
>desperation is a stinky cologne and people can't smell their own.
>Nobody wants to date the guy that asks a girl out almost every single day for three years!
>I find that whenever I look for a partner, I show up empty handed everytime. It's when you least expect it that you find someone special. Chin up and focus on you as you've been doing.
>A girlfriend isn't something you "get." Love is not something you find. You can't go looking for these things like you're going to a grocery store. These are events. These are things that happen over the course of time.
Normally I use it as an example of the Just-world fallacy where people automatically assume the worst of unsuccessful people, I'm trying to convey that the concerns of a man are never worth as much as a woman's.
>>24125545
Because women (and men) are manipulative cunts who will take advantage of them if they do.
>>24126179
what are your ways?
>>24129943
Give me a bit to look over all that shit.
I actually didn't take more than a glance at the image.
Right quick, I may want to clarify myself.
I don't really want to bring up "lonely people" as a population; this population is far too large to really have any good discussion on, imo. Too subjective as well.
So instead, assume I was talking specifically about people that post on 4chan (even more specifically r9k/adv) in that little blurb.
I'll not abandon ship on you, just gonna grab a smoke break and read some of that shit.
Third shift ain't so bad.
Guys're more incompetent than they're afraid.
It's not a case of "I don't know how to open up." It's a case of "WHAT. ARE. FEELINGS???"
Personally, emotions to me're...in MOST cases
A
choice
I can choose to be angry, I can choose to be upset, I CAN CHOOSE TO BE ELATED GOD DAMN IT.
But so far as, "What're you feeling, how do you feel, etc." are concerned, all I can say is, my emotions happen to be inherently interlocked with my thought processes.
Ask a man what he's thinking, and you'll find out more how he feels.
>>24130105
I hate women sometime...
>>24129652
The dickheads are right though. It helps men more in the long run to not be whiny little bitches who become catatonic because of every little emotional problem.
>>24130325
Break away anon...
Because every time we open up:
1-you are a fag
2- it makes everything complex and ruin everything
3- people are not trust worthy.
I just killed an option for an amazing gf because I told her I want more then just fucking. I told her I miss her and I want to be the one who helps her overcome what ever bothers her.
Should have just fuck her and die on the inside.
>>24126152
too fucking true
>>24129943
Well fuck, I was hoping the OP of that thing would post something more detailed. I've little interest in seeing what jackasses on reddit think about those several lines of text.
>Normally I use it as an example of the Just-world fallacy where people automatically assume the worst of unsuccessful people
Absolutely; there's an inherent bias in most folks, to internalize the causes of the faults of others, and to externalize the causes of their success. I.e. automatically assuming a rich fellow got mad start-up bucks from his dad but assuming a bum got fucked up on smack to get on the streets.
Personally, I tend to overly-internalize causes for both failure and success for both myself and others. I can tend to unfortunately ignore outside variables and place my own success/failure, or the success/failure of others entirely on their/my own merits or faults.
>I'm trying to convey that the concerns of a man are never worth as much as a woman's.
Could you elaborate? I'm assuming that you don't mean "inherent worth", "universal worth" or anything like that. I think you mean "according to the prevailing opinion/perception of the population, the concerns of a man aren't worth as much as a woman's", right?
I've not put enough thought to that one to disagree or agree. I try to hold as little credence in the prevailing opinion of a population. I find that I'd much rather ignore this prevailing opinion if possible, and instead only develop my own moral/ethical framework on any given decision.
>>24126340
This. Even my best friend who I've known for years used to trust wholeheartedly has laughed at some of my biggest fears that I was hesitant to share with him in the first place.
As if being afraid that my younger sisters will never find decent men because I'm a shit role model or that my mother will die alone with a failure as her only son are laughing matters.
Never tell your problems to anyone but a professional. Women in particular specifically try to get you to open up so they can break you. So they feel accomplished at being the one to "tame" your feelings and knowing they hold the most vulnerable part of you in their hands to do with as they wish. It gives them power.
Why do girls get a free pass to express their feelings without being punished for it? I'm tired of being told to be an emotionless cyborg. Let me be myself.
>>24126152
don't care what women think accept me or don't lol
>>24126031
I'm doing this if I ever have a daughter. I bet you're more level-headed than most girls because of it.
>Open up to women
>Women now regard you more callously
The worst thing to be is weak.
>>24130105
>Guys're more incompetent than they're afraid.
I disagree. I believe that it is more accurate to say that most often these two things, fear and inexperience/ineptitude are combined and mixed. It appears rare for one malady to be dominant.
>I can choose to be angry, I can choose to be upset, I CAN CHOOSE TO BE ELATED GOD DAMN IT.
I can't agree more with this. You're the steward of your own mind. You're sovereign in this domain, if no other. You absolutely do have root control over your emotions. I would be extreme in this belief and say in every case this is true.
>>24129479
>>24129892
You're right, personal feelings are inherently more powerful and valuable because of how private they are. The act of giving these thoughts and feelings freely cheapens them, as you could never truly convey how you feel, and that's why we select empathetic companions who can interpret those feelings. Stoicism is a virtue and those who give their feelings and thoughts too freely usually don't have much substance to them.
It's ironic that only in anonymity, we are truly free to express these visceral thoughts because they have no one but you can identify what's yours. I suppose that's why some choose to come here, for the validation of expression, without the repercussions of rejection.
I'm curious though. In this culture, we reward those who spew out whatever drivel comes out of their head with likes, follows, retweets that it breeds a kind of narcissism. That, the less personal your thought is, the more popular you are. This is the opposite value you described but can you invalidate it? Things that are no longer personal, given meaning through collective people-- How would you say that it's any worse than your philosophy? You've put your value in your thoughts and derive validation from the few who can understand, yet others put value in the fact that others value their thoughts and get their fulfillment from the social approval that comes from their public musings.
I'm sorry if I'm rambling, I'm just trying to make sense of why people would broadcast their thoughts. It's this dichotomy of human interaction that intrigues me, is either way of living any more valid from the other?
>>24130404
Socially, women need to be cared for since they are the gatekeepers for reproduction. A woman in distress can hypothetically be a huge problem for a developing species if she's unable to continue the line, so she must be protected at all costs.
Men are different. A single man can repopulate the entire earth if there are enough women for him to impregnate. It's a mans job to find resources. If he is in distress, he becomes a weak link in the provider chain. If he is weak enough, he is no longer useful to the society and his genetic line will end with him, removing his weakness from the pool.
Weakness in women is a problem.
Weakness in men is a solution.
>>24130635
Ah, I'm so glad that you posted, bud!
>as you could never truly convey how you feel, and that's why we select empathetic companions who can interpret those feelings.
This has been an itch in my brain-box for fucking weeks lately, right here! At this moment, I don't possess the means or expertise to perfectly (or maybe even adequately at all!) share my feelings with another person, much less my consciousness.
Give us several hundred or thousand years, and maybe we'll have developed something allowing that. Those possibilities are so fucking fascinating to me; the ability to completely share your consciousness with another person. How fucking intimate that would be, what love you could share with the perfect person.
But my science-fiction induced (gotta get some more Philip K Dick in me soon, but my rural library is rather sparse) musings are mostly irrelevant, even if interesting to a similar person.
> I suppose that's why some choose to come here, for the validation of expression, without the repercussions of rejection.
Undoubtedly; there are very few places with less of a filter than the internet and even fewer on the internet with less personal accountability than 4chan.
But that isn't why you're here, is it? That isn't why I've been here since like 2007.
>'m curious though. In this culture, we reward those who spew out whatever drivel comes out of their head with likes, follows, retweets that it breeds a kind of narcissism.
I agree that a certain sort of culture does put a very important emphasis on that kind of thing. But...it doesn't seem to filter into my real life very much. The thing that comes to my head is "TV Culture". Like, if for some ungodly reason I decided to turn on cable network TV, that culture would be on display readily. But it doesn't seem extraordinarily relevant in the actions of people that I associate with. I believe much of this is my discretion and my good fortune.
cont
>OMG WHY CAN'T I GET A MAN WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO OPEN UP? WHY ARE MEN SO COLD. EXPLAIN WHY ANONS.
>anon says something about his feelings
>OMG STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY LITTLE BITCH, MAN THE FUCK UP
We can't win either way guys. This is why we disengage and shut down. There is no middle-ground or compromise.
>>24130435
Well, I believe that ineptitude's the only excuse for not being able to express one's emotion.
Fear of expression, as opposed to ineptitude, implies what? Exactly. Ineptitude refers to an /inability/ to express.
>I can't agree more with this. You're the steward of your own mind. You're sovereign in this domain, if no other. You absolutely do have root control over your emotions. I would be extreme in this belief and say in every case this is true.
Thank you mate.
Because nobody
N O B O D Y
O
B
O
D
Y
wants to hear me do so. Not even on r9k do they respond to my threads.
>>24125545
Because I don't want to push my problems on to you.
If I love you, or even like you, I'm not going to force you into putting up with my bullshit.
I don't want that for you.
You don't deserve that.
I don't want to hurt you.
Every time I've done it in the past before I realized how selfish and assholish it was it just bit me in the ass.
Opening up to one girl ruined my public image throughout elementary, junior high, and high school.
I'd rather bottle my shit up than act like a self pitying attention whore.
>>24130930
And I'm very glad that I don't come into contact with this "emoji culture" sort of thing. But this is too personal for the sake of sharing principle or...whatever we're trying to share. Trying to understand things more.
>How would you say that it's any worse than your philosophy? You've put your value in your thoughts and derive validation from the few who can understand, yet others put value in the fact that others value their thoughts and get their fulfillment from the social approval that comes from their public musings.
Ah, there's the real bitch of a question. I've got a really dissonant sort of intellectual framework going about this. A core belief that I hold and have held is that complete, total, universal proof doesn't exist. Nothing can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Very nihilistic, and of the edgy 19-year-old variety, I know.
But on the other hand, I am deeply concerned with ethics and morals within a goal that can be summed up as "the rapid technological, social, and spiritual advancement of the human race on planet Earth to catalyze long-distance manned space travel and eventual colonization."
With every major or minor decision I take, I do my damndest to consider all implications of this decision. I don't consider myself intensely important, although I would be lying if I said I didn't feel as though I was inherently superior to some individuals. I do not feel that all individuals have equal value.
But the future, the goal is important. Much more than important, vital, essential. Anticlimatic, but it is something we MUST do, I believe.
No need to apologize for rambling. Our topic isn't concise enough to avoid it, and that's perfectly fine.
>>24131026
>Fear of expression,
In the cases of negatively connoted, absurd, harmful emotion I can understand.
>>24130635
Really, I'm unable to convey the degree to which I appreciate your post/response. THAT is why I'm here. I've got several very close, loyal friends who I judge to be good people; none of them are unintelligent, either. We're very like-minded. But while conversation about important things with intelligent people is great, variety in viewpoints, values, principles, and degrees of intelligence is necessary.
So, uh. Thanks.
>>24131116
Connotative* I'd no idea that connotate's never been a word.
>>24131026
You make a good point, I feel. If I were to argue against it, I'd be providing a pretty fucking shitty opposition.
I'll only say that some would consider fear to be a completely exclusive and stand-alone phenomenon, outside of the umbrella of ineptitude.
I think I'd actually tend to agree with you, though. Ya swayed me, bud.
>>24125545
>Have female friend who opens up to me all the time
>One day she asks why she never sees me hitting on any girls
>Decide to open up to her
>Tell her that I'm not very confident in my looks
>tfw "Don't worry anon, there are a lot of really ugly girls out there"
>>24125545
Because when you show women your emotions and "triggers", you're basically giving them ammunition to fuck with you when later you're arguing and rustle you, Example(Anecdotal but still): My mom's ex-bf talked about his mom abandoning him and used that later to pissed him off
>>24125545
Had to put on a face just to walk up to you, how am I supposed to believe that things are going to be a-okay if I let it drop?
>>24130389
>Could you elaborate? I'm assuming that you don't mean "inherent worth", "universal worth" or anything like that. I think you mean "according to the prevailing opinion/perception of the population, the concerns of a man aren't worth as much as a woman's", right?
Yes, I should have specified earlier. It's very apparent from your responses that you're a very self reliant person who sees little personal value from external attitudes, and that's a rarity to find here of all places.
The cultural figure of the excommunicated man has always interested me, and that's what led me here. The example of the 1000 attempt man was an example of many things, the point I was making was that the lack of empathy shown to him was the same for most men in his position. To share a failure of that level, even anonymously, is very personal-- and people were unable to even see him as a person.
For you, this social alienation doesn't really mean much as this is online, the inferior communication. Yet, this is all some people have; this impersonal conversation we're having right now is the only outlet for some. This isn't significant for you or me, but it's significant to someone.
You argued earlier that containing one's emotions build character. For the excommunicated man, who will he release his pent up emotions to, if people are already against him from the start?
>>24131218
lmao. you couldn't handle the bantz senpai
>be a dude
>emotionally open up
>show weakness
>ruthlessly exploited by every human being who witnesses it because no one, man, woman, or child cares at all about your well-being
>be a girl
>emotionally open up
>no one really cares
>anon just tell me your weakness, I'm never gonna use it to get something from you or to humiliate you, be open and tell me what you feel
>trust me.
>next level shit happens
>don't tell female friend bc don't want to bother her
>some beta has little bitch problems
>complains to her day and night
>"why don't you get emotional anon"
Idk maybe because I don't want fucking pity, because I'm a grown ass man who knows to take care of his own shit and not guilt trip other people into getting involved.
Oh and if you happen to read this James fuck you.
You femanon op? Personally I'm not. I've learned how to be emotionally available and still retain my masculinity. I don't cry and I'm not a sissy or anything. But I've learned it's not all that hard to start a sentence like "this is how I feel when you....". Just straight up. My face might not show it as I have become jaded and stoic over the years. But I will definitely verbally tell you how I feel. Honestly idk why most guys can't do even that. Maybe they are just afraid...
>>24125545
Men aren't respected if they show sensitive emotions. A sensitive man is synonymous with a weak man. Crying in front of others is the easiest, quickest way for a man to lose all respect in the eyes of both men and women.
Some women say they want a sensitive man, but they absolutely do not want one, they never know what they really want. The kicker is how many feminist-influenced women end up raising their sons to be sensitive sadfucks
Since I have nothing valuable to contribute I just wanted to post and say that this thread has been very thought provoking and is oddly leading me to a weird state of optimism that I haven't felt in years.
Thanks anons.
>>24131149
It was my pleasure, you were very fun to talk with, even if this isn't really the place to talk about such things. I actually share a lot of your views and you've swayed me to adopt a more stoic mindset towards living.
Thank you, for allowing for a meaningful conversation, rather than just assuming that nothing of real significance can be conveyed through here.
>>24131248
> It's very apparent from your responses that you're a very self reliant person who sees little personal value from external attitudes, and that's a rarity to find here of all places.
I'm actually hesitant to thank you; I don't reckon that was intended as a compliment...but that's exactly why it means more than a bit to me. So thanks...hesitantly.
I find it useful to place blame upon myself for many things that others would immediately say "it isn't your fault!". I've not found many people that understand the framework behind my conscious decision to internalize more blame than others.
If an event or incident with negative reprecussions on others occurs around me, or especially to those close to me, I will scrutinize the circumstances of the event. If I decide I could have taken fairly reasonable measures (those not resulting in horrific injury or those resulting in a detriment to my own improvement), then I will place blame upon myself. I find this useful; I'm sensitive enough that my internalized blame WILL affect me, but not brittle enough that it will do anything more than..."teach me a lesson" for lack of better words.
But while this may make me appear selfless, that isn't the case, either. For one, I absolutely consider myself superior and above certain others in value. Of course, I also place myself below others in value. I ain't at the top of the totem pole!
And, above nearly anything else, I AM my prime concern. I am not a ruthless person, but I am not adverse to manipulation or other sorts of things, as long as they aren't more than minorly detrimental to others and result in more than a small gain on my part.
I MUST bring about as much positive change to result in an admittedly overly-specific and outlandish goal I previously mentioned. This is why I look out for myself most of all...at least, I can tell myself this for validation!
cont
>gf of almost three years breaks up with me
>cites me not being emotional enough and not opening up to her as one of the reasons
>a few months after that I start dating another girl
>she's great and is everything I could ever ask for in a partner
>decide to open up with her since that's one reason I was dumped
>open up to her a few times about a lot of things I have never talked about with anyone else
>felt really vulnerable doing it but also felt good to get it off my chest and talk about things I have always kept to myself
>she appreciated it and was excited that a guy finally wanted to talk about emotions with her
>but shortly afterwards she didn't want to be together anymore
>she never outright said it (she just gave me the "it's me not you, you'll make some girl really happy one day" shit) but I could tell opening up to her made me seem weaker and thus undesirable
That's why it's a bad idea to talk about this kind of thing with your partner. Women enjoy the idea of a sensitive man but in practice they despise it. If they say they want you to be more emotional, remember that anger, rage and being a dickhead are all emotions. Show those emotions to her and she'll stop asking you to be emotional.
>>24129199
Same story, mainly mother and nans were my company.
Feelings are cool, but sometimes cause people to act irrational.
I used to be scared of showing emotions to people and hated social interaction
Now I just realize talking to someone won't ruin my life within the 5 minutes it takes to start a conversation, or end it.
>>24131689
>If they say they want you to be more emotional, remember that anger, rage and being a dickhead are all emotions. Show those emotions to her and she'll stop asking you to be emotional.
Thanks senpai, I'll keep that in mind.
>>24131248
>For you, this social alienation doesn't really mean much as this is online, the inferior communication. Yet, this is all some people have; this impersonal conversation we're having right now is the only outlet for some. This isn't significant for you or me, but it's significant to someone.
This is something that I struggle with, especially relevant given our previous agreement that it is currently not viable to completely share feelings, consciousness, or experience perfectly.
I don't know what it is like to be completely alone.
I don't TRULY know. I can't! I've got a better imagination than most, and I've had experiences close to complete isolation. But I can't really know what it is.
I do place much less frivolity on online communication that most people as well. This is mostly because since I was 15, I've been highly active in several competitive online video games with the same people. I'm turning 24 next month. I'd be with these same motherfuckers for 6 hours a day or more! I was (am, to a smaller degree) a gigantic fucking nerd, and so were they! When I graduated HS, me and a buddy that knew these people drove a bit over a thousand miles to stay with some of them for a week.
Some of them have gone, and I've met new ones. I consider these people my friends, regardless of if they were part of the group that met IRL. They're GOOD friends, man. We're genuinely invested in one another, in a unique but no less valid way than my friends I've had in real life.
I don't know your name, your age, your sex, where you're from, anything! I know that you're a person that is interested in knowing what people that think a lot....think. You're like me in that. And I reckon that either you're a smart cookie or we're both pretentious cunts out here. I know which one I'd rather believe.
>>24130635
Go to bed Shogo.
>>24125545
Hurr durp
>>24126305
this
the best skill you can have as a straight man is being open with a girl, while at the same time, completely disregarding her and letting her know at all times that you don't give a fuck if she ends it right now
once you care for real, you become a kukc to whatever dumb fucking whim she has at any given moment, instead of being the master of your own domain.
>>24131248
>You argued earlier that containing one's emotions build character. For the excommunicated man, who will he release his pent up emotions to, if people are already against him from the start?
Fuck, man. That question is rhetorical, and we both know that the poor motherfucker doesn't have a soul to confide in.
And if he does find a soul or two on an anonymous internet venue like him to confide in, they're just likely to polarize one another to views that explain their predicament in a tidy, but unhealthy way.
But the lucky bastards that wouldn't explain the world in such a way won't give him the time of day, for the most part!
I'm somewhere in-between the two groups, and I truly do savor that position. I don't feel as though I don't belong anywhere as I've seen some say about it.
For now, I'll do my best to share my limited experiences and relatively untested mental framework with people that I feel would gain from it. I've got a massive amount of work to do to become more effective at that. I have an unsavory tendency to portray false modesty; to give off an air that I want the other person to find me humble, but in reality I consider myself above them. And I've got a nasty habit of lecturing folks, although that one is less worrying.
We've had a symbiotic exchange here, homie. You've improved my outlook- I've often posted between here and /adv/ in the last few days, real genuine walls of text trying to learn, understand, and help a little. Usually I don't get anything.
I've learned some things, and I've thought about some things I hadn't before.
>>24131927
and if you break it off with a girl, make sure completely sure that's what you want, and then don't go back. at all. whatsoever. unless SHE makes the first move. this is why these whores run around hurting people. because betas still chase them and give them attention without them having to reciprocate. chad understands this. that's why bitches sit around bawling and eating ice cream on friday night. betas get HURT and keep coming back for more. cut that bitch off completely.
there are books written about this subject, it isn't just 4chan qualms.
it's pretty much known by most educated people that men are pressured to hide their emotions, especially the anger/violent ones.
until you're a guy and sit down with a group of male friends, you won't know this.
being emotional is not received well at all.
>>24127008
yer a good man
>>24130105
>emotions are a choice
DUDE DEPRESSION LMAO
>>24125545
Maybe because they got betrayed by the one they loved, so now they have learned their lesson and won't let anyone else stomp their soul.
>>24125545
Being emotional isn't manly
Women refuse to have sex with unmanly men
If men don't get sex they are seen as a failure
When a man has been established as a failure other men will attack him to boot themselves up the social hierarchy
Life is a constant competition for men, they have to be on their game at all times. Women set the rules because they have the vaginas.
Women are born with worth, men are not, they have to earn it. That's why they work harder and strive to reach higher.
>Real Life
What are some other movies women will NEVER understand?
>>24130105
If emotions were a choice, we'd all in MOST cases be happy, euphoric even.
>>24132416
I call emotion a choice for simplicity's sake; I don't mean to say that it is as easy as "oh, instead of a taco i think i'll grab a greasy-ass burger instead!"
I mean to say that, no matter what, I hold the belief that we have the opportunity to remain in complete conscious control of our emotions, and because of this, we are never held as a hostage to our emotions.
Of course even the most well-disciplined cerebral motherfucker out there is going to fail to be in complete, conscious control of his emotions plenty of the time.
But it is ALWAYS possible. You ALWAYS have root access; even if it is not at all expected nor reasonable for you to overcome certain extraordinarily strong emotions brought around by chemical imbalance, trauma, or other factors.
But I feel that it is absolutely possible. I do not attempt to portray this statement as fact. It isn't fact, nor opinion either. It is a belief that I hold deeply and genuinely, and you can think about it what you will.
I cannot accept that we are the sum of our biological parts, nor can I accept that we're a soul held hostage by a physical body. We're something different entirely that I've trouble naming.
But we have sovereignty over our minds, our hearts.
>>24131032
this, nobody cares enough
>>24131481
Society is a joke anyways who cares whatthey think
After reading all of this it feels weird that I got my first proper gf after opening up to her, even crying, and being a pussy in general during a rough time in my life. She was fucked up herself though.
Eventually I only got worse though since she was an abusive bitch and she ended up leaving me for being depressed.
>>24125573
No, you are simply retarded. They show feelings they just don't cry every 5 minute of the movie.
>>24133095
I've opened up to several females, to varying degrees from complete disclosure to partial transparency. Of course, I've been very discerning as to who I'll open up in any meaningful way to, regardless of gender.
To the girl I disclosed damn near everything in my head to, including plenty of far more fucked up shit than I have now, I received nothing less than total love and understanding, which I did my best to provide in return. She's truly been like my sister. She's now married to one of my closest friends, who she's been with for some time. Has a beautiful daughter and my heart's filled with joy when I realize that these two are actually going to raise their child properly. Better than properly; this kid's gonna be something.
The others, I wasn't as open but still significantly more than I would to an acquiantance or distant friend. Although the symbiotic relationship wasn't ever as good as the previous, both of us always improved the other's outlook at least a bit.
Never got betrayed or looked down upon for it. Couple times I was in a romantic relationship with the girl at the time, either both in name and practice, or just actions.
I could've had horrific experiences if I wasn't more careful, though. Even so, complete closing up isn't a necessary precaution to protect yourself.
Careful reasoning, consideration, lucid thought, and honed intuition is what you need to prevent yourself from being burned.
because
a, we dont care about you enough to let you know whats inside
b, we did it before and we were judged for it
its usually B
go fuckyourself whore
>>24125638
why did this give me a boner
>>24125545
Because as men we are supposed to be the ones that others open up TO . We are supposed to be immovable stoic rocks , standing against the blazing furious wind.
If we have emotional problems we're supposed to work them out ourselves or seek the help of our elders.
So it has been and so it will always be. This new age " emotional men" bullshit is what has ruined us as a gender.
>>24127596
> remember telling her too, that if she decided to leave me or I left her, could we at least be adults about it? Just tell me why so I would know for the next time around with someone else.
So of course, she just
leaves without saying anything
this is almost exactly what a girl I fell in love with did to me. We were dating already it seemed great but she ended it when she was abroad (no pun intended) over text. Fuck bitches man, never let yourself to fall in love.
>>24127510
>implying sympathy is a reward
Fucking tripfags
>>24126305
From personal experience. I had started becoming soft with my ex girlfriend and opened up to her slowly revealing I'm starting to fall in love with her . The same night she drunkedly hit and flirted with other guys in front of me . When the spell broke and I acted like a man by stepping my foot down and telling her how much she fucked up it was too late .
You see fellas she " didn't feel the same anymore ".
Maintain your composure and center ALWAYS. Be the man. Be emotional in spurts. Be a fucking boulder. Let her FIGHT for your emotions . Let her gnaw and scream and yell at your shell for it to crack.
>>24125545
Because we're not flaming limp-wristed faggots who think anyone gives a shit.
>>24127008
God bless your soul anon. You're a man. Not many of those around nowadays.
>>24127008
Thats why you don't open up to your women about your weaknesses . You let her find out by herself after a long period of time .
We deal with our own problems bro.
>>24125545
Because woman will fucking destroy you.
>>24130105
You can also choose a slightly less irritating writing style. You're not the average, by the way. Most men and women are incredibly dumb and can't control even their most base impulses.
>>24125545
You have just described the central, defining feature of masculinity.
>>24133886
I do not feel it accurate to say that most people are incredibly dumb. It should be more specific than that.
It isn't lack of capacity to control emotions, impulses, or anything else that will hinder most folk. Attributing this failure to control themselves to "being dumb" isn't the proper thing to do, in my opinion.
They've just not really put cogent and lucid thought to the mere possibility of doing this. They assume blindly and loyally that emotions are something that we suffer or gain from, outside of our locus of control. They consider emotions to be like the weather; something to be compensated and prepared for.
It doesn't have to be like that, but most folk just won't think of it. Intelligence helps, undoubtedly- but outside of the questionably-sentient such as the severely mentally-deficient (and don't hyperbolize and say "but pretty much everyone is retarded lmao"), it is a question of willpower and master over one's faculties. Not quite a matter of intelligence as most would define it.
However, this belief borders on the religious or spiritual for me; both in tone and the fervour with which I internalize it. I recognize that I may be passionately mis-placed about it.
But I don't believe I am!
>>24134042
Way to take shit a bit too seriously there captain autism spectrum.
They're stupid. Anyone who isn't able to even control what's going on inside their own head is remarkably mentally deficient. Illnesses aside your head is your head and what goes on in there goes on because you let it.
Don't mistake their idiocy for what it isn't, they WOULD control these things if they had the capability to. They just can't. Half the time they don't even grasp the concept, and the other half they'll just refuse to even try it.
>>24133800
The dubs speak truth.
>>24125545
For the latter 2 years of high school I had literally 0 friends and spent my time reading during lunch, after school, at home, etc. Now, in college, I have about 20 friends / acquaintances, 80% of whom are female, about 3 (2girls1guy) of whom are close to me, and whenever I open up to them, they do two things. First is in the moment, they get all clinical and serve me up some canned response that's supposed to be a panacia for bad feelings, or worse, they suggest I do some self-destructive shit. Second, they become all distant for like a week, as if giving me space is the solution when I already opted to be near others by bringing my shit up in the first place.
I'm not saying that the one time I ever opened up to these two specific people applies to all girls, but I've seen lots of girls try to console each other with this weak shit. So yeah, that's my impression/reason. It's almost always better to just deal with it yourself like I had to during HS, these girls offer nothing but alcohol and impersonal googled quotes I don't want and space I already had.
>>24134098
Sounds legit to me.
>>24134098
Lack of impulse control used to be the story of my life. Girl rejects me ? Act all prissy and create drama.
Someone makes a joke ? Create drama.
Drama here drama there , all because of lack of impulse control .
What I need is discipline . Atleast I now know what was wrong so I can take the steps to contain it.
>>24125545
Well, you see.. the last time a bunch of white guys emotionally opened up..
>>24134098
I'm fortunately untouched by the 'tism, just overly-involved and thoughtful over perceived issues with a pretty small amount of relevance to day-to-day life.
And I like to lecture on directly out of my asshole, sometimes.
We believe differently, and that's fine. The truth to you is that this large majority of people with unchecked emotions and impulses are this way because they lack the capacity to prevent this. The truth to me is that these people are this way because they don't know how to do this; only allowing room for the extraordinarily unintelligent (compared to the population at large, not a "universal" measure of intelligence that doesn't exist) to truly be lacking the capacity for the mental framework needed to exercise control over one's self.
I may very well grant people an over-inflated and un-deserved capability for things by default. But it is my belief.
>>24125545
"Open up" to girl I love
>get emotionally obliterated
>"Open up" to friends
>"stop being a bitch" or "ok" or *starts talking about their problems*
I learned that you need to be well guarded with people. It's best to be quiet and bitter than open and weak.
>>24134679
Learn to handle your emotions by yourself.
>>24125545
>Why can't chad not be a primalistic caveman for once, it's unfair! Eww no not you get away from me loser!
ftfytbqhwyf
When you open up about your feelings you become vulnerable. They might be afraid that the other person won't understand them or take them seriously. Basically it's a fear of being rejected. Another reason might be the fear of facing difficult feelings and having to deal with them.
By the way, it's not only men who are afraid to open up.
>>24134724
>i am 12 and im proud of it
>>24134724
Nigga I am. Everyone occasionally opens up to someone though. So far every time I have has resulted in a negative experience.
Life has taught me one thing. Love everyone else less than they love you.
>>24134758
>not only men
All women have to do is open their legs
>>24134774
Hey, man.
I'm not sure how to say this diplomatically, so I'll be blunter than all hell and see how it comes out.
For reasons I can't pinpoint; probably way too many to get a good handle on it, I've been only rarely emotionally compromised by other people, while still opening up to certain, very carefully chosen people.
I surely hope that you don't feel as though I'm bragging; although I am confident I've been a good person on average to everyone I've been close with through the years, they have almost ALWAYS done the same for me. Always reciprocal.
I believe you when you say it ain't ever worked out for you well, because it has always worked out well for me. Both things are quite extreme- usually it is a mixed bag.
If we both continue on the paths we're on, I say that we are simultaneously likely to experience the unexperienced. I'm likely to be emotionally hurt, perhaps severely in the future by someone I've trusted and opened up to. And I say, unless you bar the doors to the fortress of your heart and mind (boy im fucking gay arent i), you're likely to experience what I have; reciprocated comfort and love.
Good luck, bud.
>>24128009
Romance and friendship is different. She saw you as a great friend (over a long time) and trying to do something sexual would seem weird at that point (discounting the possibility that both of you were secretly in love with each other). I have great female friends, who I wouldn't date because it would just completely break the whole friendship dynamic.
>>24126988
why should I respect any person that crumbles under a little pressure?
>>24130105
I hate to be the person to say this but you sound too young to even browse this site
>>24131907
Death to this cunt
>>24134860
Not sure how to respond to this post.
Doesn't matter anyways. The time for emotions was years ago. Now I just wait for something to happen.
Say something like "l like cute dog pictures".
Can't be defamed for that. Right?
>>24130105
Pretty much there's two kinds of guy, the sensitive ones and the cold ones, and both think the other is bullshitting.
>>24131907
I don't know bro , that sounds kinda fake.
I guess I'm a pretty emotional guy. Moreso then most men. I enjoy sharing my feelings but usually the only ones that are very receptive to that are women, and then only in a friendly way.
I think it just boils down to most people not really giving a shit about you.
I've accepted that my emotions are just weighing me down, its easier to just be a stoic and distant to avoid this shit.
I was a massive wuss when I was younger, now i've hardened up and i'm not about to let any stranger think they can tap into my safe of feelings and manipulate them.
>>24129259
>we men
Shut the fuck up, roastie. Real men never pull that bullshit and never have. We have boundaries on competition. It's only ever women who make men miserable for emotional displays.
>>24127008
>>Exploits all my weaknesses and tells me to go die
that is why you never open up to a woman
>>24125545
Emotions are gay
>>24125545
https://youtu.be/0KIl1x6xr7g?t=3670 this will explain it better than I could give a shit to, stupid hoes get educated.
Moment you show weakness to a girl you're good as keked, you can bet your ass she will fuck some Chad right after that.
>>24125545
By "emotions" I know you mean crying.
In my opinion, people who cry in public and/or do it constantly are weak. It doesn't matter if they're a man or a roastie, they can't handle doing anything in life.
For every little bump you have, you burst into tears. Something a child that is completely dependent on its parents for everything.
As an adult, what you should do is either find a rational way of dealing with it or just accepting it for what it is. Crying all the time won't do anything.
>>24125545
this is what you get for spouting "just man up"
Because my deep thoughts and emotions are unattractive and not like the ones in your romcom movies.
If I opened up, I would get dumped and called pathetic.
>>24125545
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvU4x4bzQtM
PUSH IT DOWN
Who would i open up to?
>>24127313
he talking about real life not a dark corner of the internet
>>24131333
>be a girl
>emotionally open up
>everyone will cater to your needs like you're on your deathbed
>Open up
>get played with and shit on
>>24127008
Nothing inherently wrong with smoking pot
>>24132351
gone girl
but its bullshit? my mom taught me to be honest about my feelings and open to people. I never really had any trouble with relationships with other people. the only guys that "bottle up everything inside I know of are legit weird autists who see women as inferior, have that schoolshooter look, mad at the world, hate feminism, and just have that r9k mentality.
maybe you guys just had shitty moms lmao.
Almost 30, old-man wisdom for you robos
Don't bother with women and relationships. They want to be foist their responsibility and insecurity problems onto you in return for nothing. It's not worth your emotional well-being to be someone else's lightning rod. Just play vidya or read books or do whatever you want to do instead, you'll feel better
>>24125545
One of the most attractive things you can be as a man is mysterious and opening up completely eliminates any trace of it.
>>24125545
Why can't women just be happy with a standard male grunt to express feeling. Its quick, effective, and easy
>>24125545
Cause i have my mom for that
>>24125545
Because our culture really, really looks down on men expressing themselves. I actually don't know of any culture where men are encouraged to honestly share their feelings (without seeking pity or attention etc.)
Also, it is a fucking painful process to get to the root of your emotions. You have to know what is really making you feel before you can tell someone else about it. It's no fun to deeply introspect and find out what you need to work on to improve yourself, but it's worth it.
>>24125545
Because i live in eastern europe, if you cry in front of people and you're not at a funeral tou might as well move no woman will ever love you there and no man will look at you the same, cruel cold world
>>24127008
You should have killed her though desu senpai.
>>24135928
>women are so pure and angelic creatures so its inconceivable how one could be so cold hearted and impulsive as to do this
Beta white knight pansy pussy pushover namby-pamby sissy faggot.
If they open up you'll stop being attracted to them.
i am both willing and able to open up, but I just want the same from you. not that bullshit 'im saaaaad :^(' stuff, I mean the stuff that women really hide from other people - the petty, nasty and bitter thoughts, the urge to hurt children and people weaker than you, the urge to exploit the kind and serve the vicious.
>>24125545
Because no one can be trusted.
>hey, just open up!
>women have less confidence in you, and at best baby you with pop science advice which inevitable is about blaming your weakness
>men see a vulnerability and respect you less, which they may even use against you in the future
>>24144298
most people who act or think that way don't understand themselves well enough to talk about it
also you sound edgy
>>24125545
It's because we get bad responses when we do. Airing out your insecurities does seem appealing but a lot of the time it will mostly just make her insecure about those things too.
>>24144958
>>>24144298 #
>most people who act or think that way don't understand themselves well enough to talk about it
What do you mean?
>open up about fears and concerns
>"That's it?! You gotta man up"
>open up about fears and concerns
>Every fight from then on ends with her throwing them in my face
>open up about fears and concerns
>her friends inexplicably learn all my fears and concerns
>open up about fears and concerns
>she loses all interest because she didn't actually want to know what was bothering me, she was just mad she couldn't figure out what it was
Keep your own counsel.
