I never asked for this life
Nobody did, hate to see your thread with no replies.
I think about starting threads like this every day but it just wouldn't matter.
>>24125418
>hate to see your thread with no replies.
Thanks for replying. I appreciate it - really,
>>24125867
I hate to see those wannabe caring people that ask questions to make others feel better like the guy in the crippling depression general when it is clear that they don't care at all so I never ask.
But now I feel like asking so, what's bothering you?
>>24125418
The worst is when people say "You should feel greatful for being brought into the world and for all the things your parents have done for you".
WE DIDN'T FUCKING ASK TO BE BORN JUST SO WE CAN LIVE MISERABLE ROBOT LIVES.
>>24126017
I feel like I'm reaching my end point. I've been lonely and chronically depressed for 5 years and the few coping mechanisms I had left and beginning to fail. I don't know how else to describe it.
>>24126052
Ah, the relatively card. "Anon you should be grateful that you're lonely and miserable because there are kids starving in Africa right now"
>>24126168
Yeah, atleast fucking kids in Africa have something inside them that drives them to work hard just to survive. I'm lucky if I remember to eat throughout a whole day because there's literally nothing in me that tells me that it's worth keeping this body alive. Instincts usually takes over though when it starts to cause physical pain.
And do we have to feel a certain way just because the world we were born into happens to favor one half of the world more than the other. Fucking REEEEEEEEEEE
>>24126135
But everyone here is like that.
I remember when my sister found my first suicide note that I hid under my mattress.
I was 8 years old. Now you and me are here, talking. I'm not saying it will get better, I'm just saying it will keep on going - probably for the worse.
>>24126309
What did your sister do with the note?
>Now you and me are here, talking. I'm not saying it will get better, I'm just saying it will keep on going - probably for the worse.
At some point the bottom has to fall out though. Just as the human body isn't I don't believe the mind is invincible either,
>>24126364
She started reading it and laughing so I grabbed it out of her hands, ran away and flushed it away.
How old are you? No need to lie. I just don't wanna sound condescending when you might be older than me.
>>24126484
That's terrible, I'm hoping she was around your age at the time too.
I'm 28
>>24126484
Fucking bitches, always laughing at our pain.
>>24126545
>>24126554
There is only 15 months of age difference so she was still 9 I guess but it gave me a glimpse of reality.
Her being able to laugh so easily to what I wrote soaked up in tears because I used to cry when thinking about death and suicide at first. The tears and emotions would just come up on their own. But not any more, thoughts of suicide is what is on my mind more than anything.
Found myself almost asking the best achieving student at college what does he do to stop thinking about suicide before I remembered he probably doesn't have any thoughts of it.
I'm only 20 but my father rules my life, he is a very persuasive man, old and respected and is highly ranked in the government. So I come off to him as nothing, my hate towards him made me realise my only way to hurt him and ruin his life is to ruin mine so I did.
I'm so sorry for talking about my self but it's a hard night and I had to blow off some steam and tell someone.
>>24126794
>I'm so sorry for talking about my self but it's a hard night and I had to blow off some steam and tell someone.
Don't be. You will always have a listener here
>turn 29
>spend most of the day scouting good spots to hang a noose
>>24126948
I never understood why people would want a noose as their means of suicide. I know that when I finally gather up the courage to go through with it, it would be using poison.
Who here has got /uni/ feels?
I feel strange I go to class and walk around campus and I'm numb. All I see are countless beautiful women that I know I'll never have any meaningful contact with in my entire life.
I will never experience anything resembling meaning. I have absolutely no chance with any uni girl.
And I just sort of come home and see my face in the mere and realize that nothing i do will ever compensate. I'll never be tall. I'll never be good looking. I'll never have money.
Its all for nothing. Unless I learn to write I'll probably end up blowing my brains out before 30
>>24127012
>poison
literally why? If your an americlap just put a gun up your throat?
>>24127012
What poison? What is a legitimate poison you can get except like a heroin overdose and I don't even know where to buy heroin?
>>24127027
Uni sucks, i'm at the last year. But I dread having to go out and become a fucking wagekek, living alone in an apartment for the rest of my days until I end it all. Try and enjoy it just a little before it gets even worse and you enter the job market full of bullying from the normies that work there.
>>24127027
>numb
right here. I can't really relate to all the other uni fags being sad all the time about chads and shit anymore. I'm to the point where I really don't give a fuck now and just only focus on studying and chink cartoons
>>24127066
>>24127078
Guns are really fucking hard to obtain in my country.
Poison is easier to obtain, atleast for me. I know a dealer who has a bunch of different stuff.
>>24125418
Same. I was created via careless mistake. Why am I forced to live.
>>24127124
I'm stuck inbetween.
If I truly didn't care then I'd devote all my time to writing and assignments. I'd just care about making something beautiful.
But I still go to the gym, I still feel pulled along with the hope that maybe if i get big then someone will take interest. But i just don't ever see it happening.
Fat guys get girls. Thin girls get girls. But the real winner is height, looks and money. And i just don't have that, let alone the social connections to actually get people to care.
Even if I did have all those things, how could i find someone i can trust? There aren't any women that believe in monogamy and commitment. They've all already probably had a half dozen boyfriends.
>>24127027
Uni is the worst for robots in the 21st century. It's become nothing more than a place to build connections, and how the fuck are we supposed to do that?
>>24127027
Try going to a bad community college. No girls ever (it's better for a girl to get married than attend such a bad college), no friends, really really stupid people (and I don't mean that in the "I'm the smartest guy around I browse 4chan and know a meme" kind of way).
Surrounded by failures having fun you get to be the outcast in a building of outcasts.
And I am tall, 193 cm, hope you don't bother converting. I grew so fast my bones and joints didn't follow up so I have bad posture and combining that up with being very skinny (on video, when I look down on myself I see a big fat whale like I used to be 3 years ago) I was never shown any interest by anyone. Being tall wouldn't solve any of your issues.
Can i take myself out with a box of carbamazepine?
I wish I didn't have a younger brother. I would have ended it all a while ago if I didn't have someone in my life that I'm something of an influence on. I'm pretty sure he's borderline autistic, and he barely speaks to me or anything, but I know me killing myself would destroy him. He's still in high school, but I think I may break down and do it after he graduates or something. I've been looking into assisted suicide clinics. I think that's the most painless method. Would not want to hang myself or shoot myself and risk just being braindead instead of actual dead.
Sometimes I wonder that to. I know I shouldnt be complaining in theory I have a lot going for me.
Im going to gradute and do a masters program next year, 21 years old, have 15k, have a small group of friends, parents pay for school and apartment
Im just fucking lonely, im too much of an individual. I go an entire day through classes without talking to anyone and i like that but at the same time i dont. 4chan is really my only joy besides listening to albums and watching sports. Without those things i would have no hobbies
I just want a girlfriend to chew the fat with
Someone to push me to do great things, i have it in me but i dont have the motivation
Ill be 25, single in my condo downtown making alright money and probably fucking some decent hooker or bar rat once in a while
God damn its depressing and it only hits me once in a while but it makes me hard to concentrate on anything. I get what anons here say, its one tough fucking game on an emotional level but you cant let anyone know that or they will hurt you. You have to show your strength and ability to remain emotionless. Thats what leaders do, thats what everyone here could do.
Im so fucking tired of school and thinking about my future. I go on normiebook and bam i see legit losers i knew from high school with qts and doing fun shit. I get so down and miserable when i think what im doing with myself.
I just fucking hate this pergatory of feeling like garbage. I went to the gym today (im not even fat or antying) im hoping it gives me more motivation to do something productive with myself
