![[contemplative feeling music].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Ez55KH1.jpg "[contemplative feeling music].jpg")
Does anyone else feel like they're mentally deteriorating?
I few years ago I was reasonably smart. Not exactly a genius, but I learned new things quickly and had no trouble with uni.
Now, though
>struggle to learn anything, have to slowly go over it again and again before I have any grasp of it
>short-term memory is shit, I have to write something down or I will literally forget it in seconds
>can't focus or concentrate, get distracted very easily
>made stupid mistakes all the time, when I had a job
>constant feeling of brain fog
>get annoyed far more easily than I used to
>social skills have got worse, can barely talk to strangers now because I have no idea what to say
>don't think I'd be able to actually do any of the entry-level jobs I look for, because they seem like so much to remember/learn (e.g. wouldn't want to have to answer calls from customers because I'd probably lose focus halfway through, and also not know how to deal with their request anyway)
>wanted to get qualified as an accountant, but that doesn't seem realistic if I take ages to learn and forget things all the time
Anyone else like this? I've heard of the brain being like a muscle, in that it gets better with use, but this started halfway through uni, so I don't know how that would be the case
>>24116409
I feel you my nigga.
>>24116409
I know that feel. My memory is especially bad. A few weeks ago some guy recognized me and started talking to me. Now I know that I definitely know him, but can't remember where from. I've been thinking hard about it since then and still nothing.
I used to be able to tell you my top 50 movies, animes and music from the top of my head, now I struggle with 10.
I know I should start training again but it feels so pointless since I don't have a future anyway.
>>24116409
Just remembered that I also slur my speech. The other day several people separately asked me to repeat what I'd said. I'm going to have to actually pay attention to the way I'm speaking now.
>>24116638
>I don't have a future anyway
This is what I worry about, not being able to actually have a future because of this.
Not sure if that's what you meant by that, but still
What do you mean but training? Mental stuff?
>>24116795
*by training
>>24116409
This happens when you have depression and/or anxiety. You simply are not able to remember anything because your brain is occupied with something else.
Iktf too well unfortunately.
>>24116795
I don't have a future regardless. I could gain 50 iq points overnight and would still be a loser neet for the rest of my life.
By training I meant memory training and generally reading more challenging things or doing a Sudoku instead of shitposting 24/7.
>>24116931
I thought it might be something like that. I'm a pretty paranoid person, and I'm always worrying about one thing or another, so I was thinking that I effectively had all this background stuff taking up my CPU.
And yeah, depression as well. My depression seems to be mostly based on my circumstances: I'm a NEET with no job prospects and barely any friends. To get out of this situation, I think I'd need to be able to actually use my brain properly.
>>24116944
I bought a book of Sudokus actually, for that reason. It hasn't really helped much.
>>24117149
Yes. The CPU analogy is great. Depression and anxiety is like a bitcoin miner for your brain. The only solution is to go to a psychologist.
>>24116795
Hey, look on the bright side, you don't really have a future regardless.
>>24118224
I need to be somewhat hopeful though, or I might just kill myself now.
Tbh it already feels like I don't have any chance of having a decent life.
>>24118624
Well if your life isn't snowballing upwards, even if it's stagnating, it's going to start snowballing downwards at some point. If the upward momentum isn't greater than that to counter it, you're fucked.
I feel like I'm being worn down. I am losing my mental stamina.
>>24118682
I'm sort of slowly going downhill, but things could still be a lot worse. The only thing that's really getting worse is my bank balance, everything else is pretty much the same.
I have what you said. But my problem is motivation. I used to stress about exams, about stuff. Now I just kinda don't. I have two midterm exams tommorow. I haven't studied for either of them. I had about four days of time and the worst thing is, I don't feel bad, I don't feel stressed, I just don't care. About anything.
I don't know how I switched into that mode.
>>24118705
This as well (I'm OP).
I pretty much have the symptoms of 'burnout', despite not having the high-intensity, stressful life that usually causes it.
>>24119291
I also had this, for an interview on Friday. Wasn't bothered about preparing at all, and didn't start until about 11 the night before.
>>24119503
>tfw it's 11 the night before in my timezone
It's the strangest thing. It's not that the midterms don't matter. They do, I need the points. There is no rational reason for me not to be studying. If I fail any of the courses I will have to extend my studies by another year. And if I fail too many I'll get kicked out. Kicked out of uni and kicked out by my parents. But despite all this I am not doing anything and I'm not even feeling guilty about it. God I'd love to at least feel guilty about being a lazy cunt.
>>24116409
Now imagine being at your current state all your life and then going downards
>tfw stupid and lazy
I know exactly how you feel OP. Even reading this thread im literally skimming through these posts and its like my brain is just shut off with nothing really "sticking". I think the damage our brains suffer from depression, anxiety, and especially unresolved trauma creates permanent damage to the brain.
>>24116409
Most people think depression is being sad.
They are normies that have never had the disease depression.
Depression saps all vitality from you. Makes it hard to do anything really. Brain fog. forgetfulness, tired all the time. You may not even feel "sad".
>>24119791
You know those facebook/twitter posts you see with normies saying they're "depressed"? It's literally a result of a breakup, being bored of a career, not being able to afford some lavish material item, etc. If any one of those pig fucks actually stepped inside one of our shoes for a fucking hour they'd collapse in an instant.
>>24119591
Are you in Germany or somewhere? Bonger here, it's 10 here
Maybe in your case it's that the reason for your effort is so long-term that it doesn't motivate you? I know I had that a lot at uni. I could have done with some more short-term rewards/payoffs.
>>24119670
I am sorry for your feel.
If I had been stupid when I was younger, instead of being able to breeze through school, I might have learned how to actually work hard. My dad might have forced me to, anyway.
>>24119687
>its like my brain is just shut off with nothing really "sticking"
I do that a lot when threads are made up entirely of text posts, with one line. I'll stop for one with a picture for some reason, or a big one where someone's clearly making a point.
I kind of hope it is depression, and not just the new state of normal for my brain, because that leads me to believe it can be fixed to some extent.
>>24119791
Yeah, this. I do also feel sad though, or at least down.
>>24120284
Honestly i wish i was sad more often, for me my depression just seems to sap me of all my life.
I dont enjoy things, i tend to sleep long periods of time more often.
It also tends to sap my yearning for a "better" life. I just kinda stop caring about work or getting doctors appointments.
Ive been on Paxil for over 15 years and it honestly stopped doing much for me after 5 years.
But every phych i see want to raise my dose instead of helping me titrate off.
When i forget to take my pills for a few days the sense of importance seems to get back into my life, i tend to do thing alot more.
Be wary of Anti-depressants, lots of Phychs in the USA have a problem of "just medicate first and forget"
All anti-depressants have withdrawal symptoms as well is side affects. And you can get trapped on them.
I stopped taking my Paxil for over 6 months some years ago, just by myself. The discontinuation syndrome was horrid and lasted the entire time.
I fear im permanently fucked up. And they want me to continue taking a even bigger dose like a good goym.
decent depression thread bump.
>>24120550
The line between bored and sad is blurred for me. I don't enjoy much (other than the low level of enjoyment that specific vidya gives me), and I go on and off caring about getting a job. I keep meaning to make a doctor's appointment for depression, but I never get round to it and then forget.
I've tried therapy for depression in the past, but I'm not sure how much it helped really. Tempted to go for anti-depressants and see if they make me feel a bit more like a normal human being. I'm in the UK, so I don't know what they're like for prescribing anti-depressants, but I think they like to suggest therapy as well.
In a way I'm hoping a pill would solve all my problems and change my outlook on the world. Not sure how realistic that is, and yeah, also don't want to become completely dependent.
>>24120812
Mental health is something that /r9k/ is actually consistently very good for.
>>24121031
The Pharmaceutical company's that make ADs are some of the most vile lying companies in existence.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paroxetine#Society_and_culture
Im not saying they dont help some people, im just saying greed rules everything, and pills are band-aid not the solution
>>24121161
Its been extremely shit for that lately desu senpai.
>depression isnt real bait
>bootstraps fools
>>24116409
I fucking feel you mate. It's not even just a feeling for me, my IQ has literally decreased by 15 points the last 4 years. I'm gonna be retarded before I know it.
>>24121235
>Its been extremely shit for that lately desu senpai.
Has it? I hadn't noticed. Oh well, we're sort of having a thread now
Little bit worrying about the AD companies though.
>>24121295
I hadn't considered it getting worse, that would be awful.
>>24121979
I mean, it's probably not permanent. Probably just a result of my year-long depression and the lack of mental gymnastics. It's still scary though.
>>24122043
Lets hope it's not permanent.
>>24116409
Opposite with me
I've actually gotten smarter and able to learn things more easily then I did in high School.
Aniexty was keeping me mentally crippled I guess.
I can't even remember old references anymore, can't put new ones to memory, my vocabulary has been deteriorating something fierce, and it's a scary thing not being able to express what you're thinking. Not in english or my native tongue.
I think it has to do with doing tasks that don't require any mental work, like watching stupid shitty tv shows, skimming 4chan all day, just mindlessly browsing the internet.
My greatest fear is that it's permanent. I mean, I have a hard time seeing how the brain is just gonna strap up and get to work again. Shit's probably already rotten.
>>24122135
That's not how it works dumbo
>>24116409
Who cares. Life is shit. Why would you want to remember.
>>24122388
I want to be able to remember the good parts. And my long-term memory is pretty good actually, it's just the short-term that's the problem, because you need that to be able to function normally.
>>24122081
>Aniexty was keeping me mentally crippled I guess
This is a good thing. How did you deal with the anxiety?
>>24122135
>I think it has to do with doing tasks that don't require any mental work, like watching stupid shitty tv shows, skimming 4chan all day, just mindlessly browsing the internet.
Yeah, I think this is it. Not sure what else I'd do though.
I'm getting really short term memory loss moments fairly recently. Like I'll think of doing something and then completely forget what it is I wanted to do. I'm pretty scared I might be losing my mind slowly and this is the start.
Welp, this thread has made me realize I need to start seeing a psychologist before I become a vegetable.
>>24116409
yes
>AP/Dual enrollment in HS
>graduate with perfect scores
>one year of college but have to take a year off because of surgeries
>meds and mind fog
>go back to college and try to do anything
>cant think, barely can do algebra when did calc in HS
its been 5 years and I can barely do remedial math in my head. Sometimes I have bursts of remembering facts and dates and such that dont matter at all, but its not the same as being able to retain information or critically think. Im not sure if its age, the drugs they had me on, or a combo of both but I feel much less intelligent than I was.
>>24116409
Almost everything you typed out describes what's happened to me over the past couple years. Gonna write it down and take it to my psychiatrist. Thanks anon.
>>24123817
>>24124008
I'm glad this helped.
It's a scientific fact that when you are depressed, you have a much more difficult time creating and retaining memories.
I hardly remember anything from when I was profoundly depressed and on the verge of suicide
