>at store
>cashier girl says I have a nice smile
>tell her to piss off as loud as I can
>she's visibly upset
>women in line mad
>smugly walk out with my bags
>key a random car in the parking lot
>drive home
>mfw
>>24112741
>at store
>rearrange bananas and oranges to make cock and balls
>dont buy anything and leave
wow anon you are so cool! maybe someday i can grow up and learn to be as edgy and cool as you :3c
>>24112800
Lol what a sensitive faggot
Cry some more, pussyboy
>>24112800
Dubs confirm, you're a beta coward
>>24112800
Hey, I noticed you dropped this book. Here you go.
>drive the speed limit
>car behind me gets on my ass
>maintain the speed limit
>they change lanes, zoom past and change back
>immediately speed up and ride their bumper
TAKE THAT NORMIES
>>24112741
>hate fat people
>can't stand my job (work as a chef in a chain food store; lots of burgers, steak bombs, etc)
>I swear fucking everyone and their mother gets mayonnaise on their shit
>fed up with these uneducated hamplanets
>decide I'll start saying what no fat person likes to hear
>nutrition facts
>let people know in with a smile that their double mayo on their steak bomb is going to ramp it up to 1500 calories
>joke about it being almost enough food for an entire day to their face, laughing and getting them to awkwardly laugh too because they have to
>some people even stop me the second I mention the fucking calories
>"I don't want to hear it, I just want to eat it"
>"Well, just me bringing it up ought to say something, huh?"
This is my life now.
>>24112741
>Keyed a random car
dude fuck you, that was someone's car dude. If someone did that to my I'd be out for blood. Cars are sacred senpai.
>>24113079
I dunno what a steak bomb is, but I'd call you a faggot to your face if you pulled that shit on me. If I order something, fucking make it.
>>24113002
>>24113079
doing god's work, anons
>walk in elevator
>someone ask's for me to hold it
>pretend to reach for the door button
>dont press it
>>24113127
>If I order something, fucking make it
I always do you fucking sperg.
Fatties need to hear the fucking truth about what they're eating.
>>24113139
I put elevators in service mode so they go straight from the floor they're on to the floor selected in the elevator and skip over people waiting on other floors. They eventually get to them, but it takes like 10-15 minutes
Usually you just have to hold the floor you want to go to and the close door button at the same time, and keep it held until the elevator starts moving
>>24113268
Hamplanet here, working on reforming my life. Lost 15 pounds last month and still going strong.
You are doing God's work. Fat fucks like me need to get slapped every now and again until we wake up.
>self check out line
>put my stuff on the belt while he's checking out
>stand right next to him looking impatient
>sir could you please hurry up
>he just looks at me
>could you hurry up please.. im in a hurry
>...yeah yeah c'mon
>cash or credit c'mon...
>..hurry up take your reciept..
>he walks away turns around, yells "FUCK YOU MAN"
>fuck you too BIZNAAATCH
>continue on with my day
>>24112844
>>24112873
>>24112905
Obvious samefag
>>24113268
Im really skinny but can eat like a bear before hibernation. I always like the looks fatties give me at places like mcdonalds when I order, or even restaurants
>I'll have a double quarter pounder blt meal
>with a big mac on the side, no pickles
>and 10 nuggets with sweet and sour sauce
>and 2 mcdoubles
>and a junior chicken
>and 2 apple pies
>with a large coke
or at restaurants
>I'll have the steak rare with mashed potatoes and instead of the vegetables just more mashed potatoes
>with a side 12oz steak
>2 shrimp skewers
>nachos
>and some mozza sticks
>"the nachos are usually shared, they're pretty large"
>then if I'm at the restaurant with my one friend who also eats a fuckton, he'll usually cut them off and say
>"I'll get the same, but throw on a prime rib"
We've actually won contests and gotten free food for how much we've eaten. The two of us finished off 10lb of wings before collectively, or both won the 4lb "you finish it, its free" burger contest at this one restaurant in the city.
>>24112741
>/antogonist/
I really hope this becomes a thing.
>>24113564
I'm doing my part every day
>my dog shits in my back yard
>get it on a shovel and throw it into neighbors driveway
>greet him with a passive aggressive good morning later on
>>24113302
I used to have a fireman's key for elevator shafts. If you open up the elevator shaft there's a switch on top of the elevator that disables the whole thing. It takes forever because they have to call a repair guy to get the elevators going again.
Meanwhile all the fatties have to take the stairs. Cripples too.
>>24113564
>being so new you dont remember
MACHIAVELLIAN
A
S
O
C
H
I
S
T
>have tumblrina sister
>eat her left over pizza out in the fridge
>put a note in the pizza box saying "It was my privilege :)"
>wake up to my sister screaming at me outside my door
>put headphones and watch anime
>>24113872
naw man you're a hero
>>24113789
DEVILISH
>tfw never hold elevator doors for anyone
>tfw grinning as the door closes before them
>>24112741
>girl is nice to you
>is a piece of shit back
And people on this board wonder why they have no gf.
>>24113079
>chef
>fast food
nice try m80!
>>24114607
Piss off chad
>>24113485
I've always wanted to try eating only once a day but doing it all in one sitting. I'd go to Mcdonalds eat like 1500-2000 calories at once in front of fatties and act like I eat like that 3 times a day.
