Hey Robots, do any of you have any experience of derealization or depersonalization?
>>24100255
Lots of it. What do you want to know?
>>24100255
I'm not sure if it actually happened or if I'm just being a special cornflake. Either way, it was uncomfortable.
>>24100255
Of course,
both of them are delicious!
My girlfriend does. I don't really get it though
Every minute of every day since I was 15. Also visual snow.
There is no cure or treatment. The only thing you can do is take benzos.
I haven't tried ketamine for it yet but I suspect it might help.
I made a poem about depersonalization a while back when I was feeling really out of myself. My birthday just passed and nothing feels right anymore. I don't want to be sedated though so I'm not going to the doctor's.
>>24100255
got diagnosed at 16 with it
>>24100354
benzos fix it?
>>24101028
>benzos fix it?
What defines "fixing it" to you? Making the dream feelings go away? No. Making you feel real? No.
Benzos make it tolerable, that's it. The discomfort and anxiety you get from the disorder are the only treatable symptoms.
what exactly is this. im intrigued. please explain
>>24100255
Yeah. Got it from marijuana
>>24101065
Well... Fuck.
That's a major downer.
>>24101081
Dunno how to explain it really. For me, I lost my personality. Used to be funny, not anymore. When I get really anxious I have that 1000 yard stare. Its brutal
I experienced some depersonalization issues in middle school.
Would see my self in the mirror and not recognize who I was looking at. Not metaphorically, but literally. I genuinely didn't recognize my own face.
But it tapered off around eighth grade and it hasn't happened since. Is that weird?
>>24101168
>I have that 1000 yard stare
Yep. Me too. My friends have said I often seem "spaced out."
>>24101081
>what exactly is this. im intrigued. please explain
I'm assuming OP is referring to depersonalization/derealization disorder
Basically it feels like you're in a dream, floating above yourself, nothing feels real, everything "feels" foggy even though it isn't actually, etc. It is often accompanied by visual snow disorder which is persistent static, black spots, flashing lights, etc in your vision in all light levels. Many people with this disorder look like they're "spaced out" or "somewhere else" when their symptoms act up.
Neither are treatable currently.
Does anyone else see people like very intense bodies? People look all rubbery and fleshy, it's kinda weird.
>>24101204
luckily im kinda big so noone really says shit to me but its obvious my close friends from childhood know ive went a bit crazy. its very sad
First noticed it when I was like 5 or 6 and didn't know how to explain it to anyone.
Rampant drug abuse made it way worse.
>>24101264
Shit nigga, what happened to you? For me it was brought on by intense experiential anxiety
>>24101290
>Shit nigga, what happened to you? For me it was brought on by intense experiential anxiety
Growing up homeless and abused.
>>24101275
And this is why I'm staying the hell away from psys. Too bad the weed already did it's damage.
>>24101290
Yeah, it was smoking weed for me. It's wierd because I had been smoking weed for years, and then one night I was out with friends and had a panic attack while alone in my bed. Most terrifying moment in my life and i've been close to death before. After that, a sort of personality drain happened. I honestly don't see my life playing out in any way outside of a blaze of glory scenario. It's sad too because I used to be such a fun guy. whatever gg no re i guess
>>24101308
Well shit man, I just wanna say you have my sympathy.
>>24101348
>Well shit man, I just wanna say you have my sympathy.
I don't want your pity. I want to feel real.
>>24101372
Me too man, that's why I'm feeling for you. Shit sucks ass.
>>24100255
I have had problems with both, but mainly derealization.
I actually had to stop lucid dreaming when it got bad, seemed to trigger it. Haven't had a bad episode in a while now.
It led me down the path of alcoholism. I got pretty I'll eventually, which was lucky in a sense since it gave me something real to worry about meaning DP/DR didn't effect me as much, even while sober.
all the fuckdamn time
>>24101394
>Me too man, that's why I'm feeling for you. Shit sucks ass.
Then the word you were looking for was empathy, not sympathy.
>>24101372
b real it doesn't matter anyway
Yeah I had it often at the start of this year. I was told it was probably a more serious symptom caused by my anxiety. I had never experienced it before then so I felt really uncomfortable by it. Pushed me to really put the effort into feeling happy again. 6 months down the track, hasn't happened and I feel a lot happier. I think the best way to describe it without using psychological jargon is it is a feeling you get when you're so sick of your reality that your brain almost resets itself and you forget what it's like to be inside a body. I don't react negatively to weed or anything. I've had a few friends that have had really intense depersonalization experiences from anxious highs.
>>24101399
>TFW alcoholic in the making due to derealization
I have had it for a few weeks after a massive dose of n-bome, which I was a fool for taking.
Its a very distinct feeling, being so disconnected from everything you know.
Its hell and the urge to just suicide is incredibly strong and it just seems like the logical and natural thing to do when you're depersonalised. I was scared I was about to do it every day.
I really have been living inside my own mind since to be honest.
>>24101308
fits well with the whole "adaptive neural mode" theory of dissociative disorders.
have you tried psychotherapy or drugs?
>>24101467
Yeah man when life isn't real I don't even see why I don't. Death will probably feel less fake
>>24101372
shit senpai, you might not be real but that burn was
>>24101488
>psychotherapy
Doesn't work.
>drugs?
There are no treatments for this disorder short of getting your head shocked and benzo sedation. I'm too autistic to find drug dealers for other shit.
Doubt it's the same thing but sometimes I have moments where I'm like holy shit I have a name what the fuck does I mean and I break into a Rei-esque existential crisis. I also have family history of schizophrenia.
>>24101528
Head shocked? You mean like electro convulsive therapy?
>>24101467
yeah senpai, when i've had episodes i have felt the call for suicide. it feels like it would just be like turning off a game console or something, like ..not serious at all. like killing yourself in a nightmare to try and wake up (which i do all the time)
>>24101567
>Head shocked? You mean like electro convulsive therapy?
Yeah. It's supposed to help in some cases.
Haven't been able to find a psych that will prescribe it for me.
>>24101585
Hmmm. This is an interesting development anon.
Thank you for this, I hope you find someone to prescribe it for you.
>>24101327
less psys, more dissociatives than anything. effectively punched tiny holes in my brain.
>>24101244
Anyone like this?
>>24101601
>Hmmm. This is an interesting development anon.
Don't get your hopes up. ECT is the absolute last resort for treatment of any disorder because it's basically the psych saying "I don't know how to help you, so I'm going to shock your head in the hopes that it might reset whatever is wrong with you. It almost never works, but maybe it will for you" and psychs don't like to give up.
>>24101628
True. Although it's at least a hypothetical option, which right now is enough for me.
>>24101467
Holy fuck are you me? I did 25D-Nbome when I was 16 (20 now) and Ive never felt quite the same since.
I get horribly depersonalized when I go somewhere I'm not really familiar with and generally I feel pretty depersonalized overall.
>>24100255
Sporadically.
For a few moments I can see the big picture, we're all tiny creatures on a tiny rock flying around a tiny ball of burning hydrogen in a tiny galaxy in an infinitely massive universe. Our existence isn't even a mere blip in the timeline of the universe. The whole of the human race won't be either. In 10^10^10^256 years, the universe will die and any trace of our existence will be long since gone.
>>24101528
psychotherapy can help senpai, you get to learn your triggers and how to avoid and control them.
i know it's not the kind of thing that you can just cure like a phobia or something, but CBT helps a lot of people with derealization.
>>24101649
>True. Although it's at least a hypothetical option, which right now is enough for me.
Well I guess if that helps you.
But like I said, don't get your hopes up. It's expensive, it's a very long treatment cycle, and a large percentage of those people who see improvement end up relapsing and need it again.
>>24101681
Or your consciousness could be the only that exists and everything you've observed is a product of that alone.
Nothing like solipsism when you're 14.
>>24101708
>psychotherapy can help senpai, you get to learn your triggers and how to avoid and control them.
>
>i know it's not the kind of thing that you can just cure like a phobia or something, but CBT helps a lot of people with derealization.
I don't have a trigger. I am constantly in a state of derealization. It only worsens or betters based on how much anxiety I have at the time.
>>24101585
try a neurologist maybe? they seem pretty willing to throw DBS at weird disorders these days. It will fuck you up a lot less than ECT
wait-- so does it never go away? How would one end it?
>>24101722
The Matrix: The philosophy
>>24101752
>DBS
Prohibitively expensive for me right now (gubmint insurance).
Also there is no precedent for treating DR/DP with DBS. I doubt a neurologist would see someone with that condition.
>>24101722
>tfw I suffer from terribly destructive solipsist feeling that I can't even talk to people about properly because the fundamental basis of it is "I don't believe you fucking exist"
How do I un-fuck my brain?
btw marijuana did this to me, it is not harmless by any means and fuck idiot stoners for letting me fall into this terrible abyss of thought
>>24101802
>wait-- so does it never go away?
It goes away for some people. Some people it never goes away.
>>24101750
fuck man, that's a brutal case.
hope you can find something to help.
kind of unrelated, but have you tried painting or sculpting?
>>24101750
increased anxiety -> increased DR/DP is a kind of trigger the way i see it
maybe really focusing on keeping the anxiety down would be the best you could do
>>24101851
>but have you tried painting or sculpting?
I have no artistic or musical ability. I play the guitar and am able to copy and cover many songs, but I cannot come up with my own material. I cannot come up with my own material for the electronic music I love to listen to and would love to create. I can't draw for shit, but that doesn't matter because I couldn't come up with material to draw in the first place. Sculpting I have more talent with but a similar lack of generation ability.
>>24101906
>maybe really focusing on keeping the anxiety down would be the best you could do
Impossible because my anxiety is largely due to social interaction and it's impossible to avoid that short of becoming a NEET shut in. Keeping the anxiety down boils down to popping kpins or xannies.
>>24101951
>popping kpins or xannies
yeah, that'll do the trick.
so have you tried biofeedback or any type of transcranial stimulation yet? bit of a longshot, but i wouldn't be surprised if it helped.
I used to get it more often, but it has calmed down a bit. I would feel as if I was on autopilot for hours on end while my mind was off screaming at my body to stop doing things that I didn't want it to do, but usually was unsuccessful. I was incapable of thinking while something was going on. (thinking on your feet, pressure) I would have after thoughts every time though and had perfect answers. It just took a second to kick in, but it usually is already too late.
Then you had the maladaptive daydreaming. Which for me, was and still is a very large part of who I am. I spend more time in my head, living in a world I created rather than IRL. That tends to give you the zombie stare and or you start twitching/saying stuff out loud in response to things in your day dream by accident.
I still see things move around me all the time, or the floor suddenly becoming like waves. The tiles on the bathroom floor start shooting lasers and rising up off the floor like some kind of disco rave.
>>24102078
>so have you tried biofeedback or any type of transcranial stimulation yet? bit of a longshot, but i wouldn't be surprised if it helped.
Docs won't let me have it because gubmint insurance.
I was given Ssri because they diagnosed me schizophrenic at the psychiatry. Basically I told them about my anxiety and how I feel like people outside are judging me constantly and that makes me feel anxious. The psychiatric doctors were all consisting of female doctors who apparently thought having anxiety and feeling like people are judging you in public spaces equals full blown schizophrenia with conspiratorial delusion (most anxiety stems from some kind of overreaction and delusion, that literally part of the definition of anxiety disorders, doesn't mean its the same as being paranoid schizophrenic)
Those meds they gave me fucked me over real bad. Brain fog, depersonalisation, severe headaches every day, they also gave me allergies I didn't have before, all around mess and a couple of things I can't remember anymore and I started to get REAL delusions, like microwaves guns and gangstalking and such stuff. All symptoms I didn't have before and emidiatly started with the pills. When I told them about the side effects they either wanted to give me more, or some other schizo pills and I even told them I am pretty sure it's the medication but they just wanted me to take more when I told them.
I stopped taking them without psychiatric supervision and it took me about half a year or so to reach a somewhat normal state of mind, headaches and sleep apnoea still remain, but it's nothing compared to back then.
>>24102103
well, at least you get to have one of the "cool" disorders. i'm sure psych students and matrix fans love bumping into you.
>>24102236
they don't really use SSRI as a primary treatment for schiz senpai, they do for anxiety though.
those side effects don't sound like SSRI side effects, maybe you are thinking of something else?
>>24102245
>>well, at least you get to have one of the "cool" disorders. i'm sure psych students and matrix fans love bumping into you.
I'm glad my suffering pleases someone.
It's a shame I hate psychology students.
>>24102390
It was Amisulprid, some kind of atypical SSRI used for schizophrenia.
>>24102543
>>24102390
Oh yeah, forgot it also made me walk kinda like a retard even though I don't take it anymore.
>>24102462
yes, i understand what you're saying.
tell me anon, how do psychology students make you feel.
>>24102592
ever tried PCP?
Who /level 4/ here?
My positive disintegration is finally making some real progress!
>>24102636
No, I never did drugs . Why?
>>24102689
i've never done PCP either, but i hear the effects are pretty much /schizophrenia/
just something to compare it to i guess
>>24101337
this literally happened to me when i was like 15. had smoked weed almost every other day or so since i was like 13 with no problems ever and one day friend brang out this huge 3 foot bong and i took the biggest rip i have ever taken in my life, after about 15 mins my whole body felt shaky and I decided to walk home. when i got home and into my bed my heart was racing so fast that i literally thought i was going to die. like, literally, thought i was going to die. that fast. ended up passing out i guess and remember everything feeling extremely hazey. stopped smoking completely after that
you have to cure it with deep breathing exercises, yoga stretches and qigong. at least that's what worked for me
just do all those with tons of visualization and kinesthetic exercises you are all good to go
you have to lower your anxiety levels to a point where you can let your mind heal. then try to focus of having things feel new again
>>24102922
that happened to me a few times.
there's a good chance the dealer just sprayed the weed with fly spray or some other horrible shit to add weight.
>>24103039
that's exactly what we got taught in psychopathology class but i didn't want to suggest here because /psuedoscience/
>>24103039
>>24103101
Get the fuck out of here with your traditional chinese medicine shit.
>>24103039
>curing it
>not embracing it 24/7
Ignorance is bliss :^)
>>24103057
thats a scary thought. it was literally out of a pound bag so that'd makes sense
i have it but its gotten a lot better
basically the only cure is to stop thinking about it and just live your life, you need to adopt the see/hear/speak no evil mindset
that's the best advice i have for anons in this thread. the worst times were when I was going crazy about it and researching it, going on the DP/DR forums, etc.
also some medications can cause it, minocycline an antibiotic used for acne can cause it.
>>24101337
same here
i smoked weed maybe 5 or 6 times and had a lot of fun, then one day i guess i smoked too much and basically broke down and felt out of my body
i felt like pic related
was never the same after that
>It's sad too because I used to be such a fun guy
i know this feel. i am so boring now. ill never touch weed again. idk mayne im not too butthurt about it anymore its just something i deal with
>>24103344
meant to post this pic
I went to see a doctor about it. He told me the cure was to stop spending all day at my computer. I no longer have it now.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
>>24103446
fuck off retarded idiot
have any of you guys seen a documentary called "Tarnation"?
about a guy who developed DP from smoking a joint dipped in formaldehyde
>>24101337
>>24102922
>>24103057
You'll coward's just smoked dank
>>24103493
i thought the weed that gave me DP was laced but i also smoked with three other friends, and even gave the leftover weed to a stoner friend, they all had no trouble
its a good theory though
>>24100255
Yes. I felt it for a couple of months when I was depressed. I'd get weird thoughts especially while driving
For example--
If I was driving, I'd think... Would crashing intentionally really hurt? Would it be real?
This is my life... Maybe everything is just programmed, unreal.
What would happen if I swerved and killed people?
I'd feel like I'd have to make myself bleed to know that things are real... That life is real.?
>>24101194
>Not metaphorically, but literally. I genuinely didn't recognize my own face.
this is a tough pill to swallow. I'm 19 and this is just beginning to splash in my lap.
I look in the mirror and feel sorry for the person who people think this face belongs to. I've been wanting out for like a year now. I wish I could die and trade places with the person people think I am.
