"Why do you have my phone?"
>"I'm just deleting all the numbers in your phone, I also deleted all your porn on your computers and flashdrives and burned all the porno magazines you had hidden."
"Why the hell did you do all that shit?"
>"Because I'm the only woman you need to be looking at. Don't worry, I put a bunch of naked pictures of me on your computer so you can masturbate to me whenever I'm away. There's even a few, 'special' videos I made just for you."
"O-oh.."
>"You'll love me forever won't you? You'll impregnate me and make me your woman right? I'll bear all of your children, I'll entertain any fetish you have. I'll even go into chastity and be your lusty cockslave. Although one of these days I want us to get a traditional marriage in a church, I know it sounds totally cliche' but I've always wanted that ever since I was a little girl.
>>24076047
>tfw no gf to devote all my orgasms to
>>24076191
>my orgasms
But you're man, not a woman.
>>24076047
>tfw this is literally my gf except shes chinese, not white
L I T E R A L L Y P E R F E C T
>>24076047
>>tfw your gf would rather give you head than for you to masturbate
God why can't I have this, you can have my legs.
>>24076047
That deal would be fantastic and would gladly abide by her rules... except the phone numbers might prove useful for work, but if she's also rich and I wouldn't have work again, then it would be ok.
Her lips are too big. Anyway no, I know reproduction is the only reason any of us are here and ultimately the only REAL 'win/lose' condition of life but I can't in good conscience condemn a child to having me for a dad. Or a nut like this for a mom, for that matter.I still have an impregnation fetish though.
>>24076047
I farted while reading this and all I could feel was disgust.
>>24076459
>NOT LIKING DICK SUCKING LIPS
F A G G O T
A
G
G
O
T
>>24076514
I do like DSLs but not when they're too big for the face, which is the case here.
>>24076047
>deleted all your porn on your computers
Not gonna happen. My porn is carefully hidden and protected. I also back up my phone's contents regularly.
>>24076047
This isn't going anywhere good.
>>24076601
She'll let you do bad things to her anon. I'd be holding onto her like grim death.
>>24076047
>implying these type of women exist in 3D
I wouldn't actually mind all of that
>>24076459
>reproduction
I used to have that same philosophy, but lately I've been thinking that contributing world changing ideas which become part of humanity's psyche is more of a win than just propagating your genes.
>everyone missing the star of david necklace
fucks sake
>>24076854
>implying they don't
Bitches be mad jealous dawg
>>24076956
This isn't /pol/
>>24076999
Oh sorry, she's all yours buddy.
>mfw he thinks a picture can be his gf
>>24077032
>mfw you have no argument so you put words in my mouth
>>24077032
>mfw he thinks he has a better show with the real thing than a picture
In case you couldn't guess: lolling @ ui
>>24077056
>has pictures of anime girls saved
>>24077063
I already have a qt gf :3
Shes very racist too.
It's awesome.
>>24077069
>he thinks 2hu is an anime
>>24077069
>is on 4chan
>doesn't have anime girls saved
>>24077069
Are you telling me you don't have a folder on your computer dedicated to animu girls?
>>24077086
>Friday night
>On /r9k/
I... I have a qt aryan gf u guize
>>24076047
>Jewish
No thanks.
>>24076047
I won't lie,That's really fucking creepy. I don't like it when people go through my personal belongings like that.
>>24076047
hmmm, i'm ok with this, i don't keep female friends m8
>>24077130
>Has a cute GF posting in this thread.
>ON R9K NO LESS.
Are you also a Nigerian Prince willing to give me millions of dollars?
>>24077149
yeah, thats stalking behavior and next she'll be pouring water down your TV because you texted a girl from work or something
>>24077032
I have no horse in the race but what a shitty counterargument lol
Why do you have my phone?"
>"I'm just deleting all the numbers in your phone, I also deleted all your porn on your computers and flashdrives and burned all the porno magazines you had hidden."
"Why the hell did you do all that shit?"
>"Because I'm the only woman you need to be looking at. Don't worry, I put a bunch of naked pictures of me on your computer so you can masturbate to me whenever I'm away. There's even a few, 'special' videos I made just for you."
"O-oh.."
>"You'll love me forever won't you? You'll impregnate me and make me your woman right? I'll bear all of your children, I'll entertain any fetish you have. I'll even go into chastity and be your lusty cockslave. Although one of these days I want us to get a traditional marriage in a church, I know it sounds totally cliche' but I've always wanted that ever since I was a little girl.
>suddenly she shouldn't be doing this
Remember this the next time you call a woman out for letting good looking men do things to her that she won't allow ugly men to do, a la fifty shades.
>>24077130
>My gf never leaves her dungeon and must >always be around me 24/7
>what are timezones
>i do not have a phone
>i do not save any pictures/videos of porn related things
>i use a wiiu to watch porn on
if i cannot look at porn-related stuff, i will have ran dry and it will be just hanging out.
>breaks wiiu
kk. did not use it that much anyways + you are not going for the big 'problem'. if you want me to stop going to a website, shut down the site and not the thing am using to go to the site. if the site is down then i cannot go on it.
>control freak
>insecure
>expensive dream wedding
>hijacks phone
>redhead
>manipulation through sex
Redheads. Red flags everywhere.
>>24076047
>watching porn when you have a gf
Would you like it if your girlfriend touched herself while she watched naked guy videos?
>takes a church wedding lightly
LITERALLY A SUCCUBUS
you know this bitch is lying like the thot she is
>>24077214
yes and then I'd join her while we both watch naked men :3
>>24077195
Nobody believes you anon.
Why do you feel the need to lie on an anonymous image board?
>>24077235
why do you feel the need to be truthful
>>24077251
touche
>>24076047
Anyone who thinks that being the centre of attention for anything is fun, even when getting married, is not someone I would want to marry. Sorry
Also, most of my 'porn' is in visual novels, which provide my natural male proctector urges or whatever that shit really is with some stimulation, I dont know how you can fap to Katawa Shoujo, Ikikoi or Grisaia
>>24077305
Hanako a shit desu senpai
>>24076047
>love
Spooked af desu
>>24076047
>Letting a woman control your life
>Wanting to get married
>Want kids
I knew this was the new beta board but damn you're crazy.
