Anyone here "lost in life" ?

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Anonymous
Anyone here "lost in life" ? 2016-07-16 02:06:46 Post No. 29978237
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Anyone here "lost in life" ? Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:06:46 Post No. 29978237 [Report]

Hello there

I honestly don't really have anyone to talk about it, so I decided I would ask around here. Before I jump straight to the question, little info about me that could be relevant. Diagnosed with depression and a serious case of OCD around a year ago, was suffering from both for around 3 years give or take, but was afraid to go into therapy. Anyways I started my treatment and started taking my meds and thing changed but I am not sure if its all for the better. I am pritty sure my OCD is gone for the most part, occasionaly I get disturbing thoughts and impulses to check things but, I dont follow them, but my depression got stranger.

Now to the question
For the last at least couple of months I dont feel bad or good, I dont get angry or excited, I just dont feel much of anything good or bad, but I feel really lost in life, I am still going to university, but I dont care much about the grades nor my future, I feel lost and I dont really understand what or why I am doing. I have simple hobbies like watching movies or anime and playing video games, but lately Ive been doing less of those, because I dont feel anything now when I watch something or play something, I do it out of habit, but I cant spend hours at it like I used to.
I feel like life is passing me by while I am outside of everything, just observing but not taking part in it. It does not disturb me, its just strange to be so detached from everything and everyone. Do any of you people here feel nothing?

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Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:10:23 Post No.29978282
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>>29978237
>I have simple hobbies like watching movies or anime and playing video games, but lately Ive been doing less of those, because I dont feel anything now when I watch something or play something, I do it out of habit, but I cant spend hours at it like I used to.
I share this same feel. Working over the summer and will be going back to college. I'm not failing or anything but I cant seem to find motivation to do anything. Stopped going to class, stopped playing videogames, I would look up an anime and play an episode only to close out after a minute or two. Now I just feel like sleeping in my free time. Working sucks, not working sucks, everything is out of habit or societal obligation. I guess I'm depressed but not suicidal yet

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Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:25:29 Post No.29978541
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Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:25:29 Post No.29978541 [Report]

>>29978282
thanks for your reply, now that you mention being suicidal, that honestly feels trivial to me, like quitting a uni or job, both of which I have already done a couple of times, there is nothing special about it nor scary, its just backup plan in case I feel tired.

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Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:31:25 Post No.29978630
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Anonymous 2016-07-16 02:31:25 Post No.29978630 [Report]

>>29978541
I might consider it if I fail out of college. Worried about disappointing my parents after they sacrificed money/time to set me up to succeed. Oddly it doesn't motivate me to study more or better myself. Maybe I subconsciously want to fail. I'm pretty sure my parents aren't satisfied with me having a job/being in school, they want me to be social like my brother instead of staying inside on my off days.

>tfw I see my dad's eyes light up when I mention im going over to my friend's house