>get newfound confidence from a random train of thought
>feel good, go try out my new confidence in some way
>immediately get put back in my place
>>29656240
I used to know this feel, but then I realized that "my place" doesn't exist, and that confidence is immaterial if you choose to act regardless of it, and based on other factors (rules, limits, promises to self).
>go outside for the first time in two weeks, feel like shit
>try to get in the zone and stop feeling afraid of other people
>kind of start feeling good, listening to music and walking along
>think, "maybe I can actually be a normal person"
>stumble over my own feet and almost faceplant into the gutter
>remember that I'm a fucking loser freak dumbass weirdo and that I will never be able to connect with people or act like a normal person
It's like God Himself is raising a hand down from the heavens to slap my shit in whenever I start thinking I might actually have a shot at happiness.
>>29656364
ha
>God
Really cracked me up there man
>>29656285
you can believe that, but normies won't, they will continue to socially exclude you in a world where nearly everything in life depends on other people
>try going for a walk
>a bunch of guys drive by and shout at me and call me names
>they know I'm not one of them just from seeing me in the distance from behind
>happens pretty much every single time I leave the house
>my self esteem is literally a rollercoaster
>get sudden pump from introspection/music videos/movies
>go around overflowing with confidence
>it does nothing
>go back to stake zero
>fresh haircut
>shave
>shower
>dress nicely
>go out
>look into some display case of a store
>see my reflex on the glass
>feel like shit again
>>29656839
this, conscious self esteem doesnt exist. normies are confident on their core
>>29656768
>they will continue to socially exclude you
Keep projecting, autist.
>>29656240
>have opinion
>doesn't matter which side can never argue either side
>basically just stop talking in general as a result
Then they have the nerve to tell me they want to hear my opinion. No you don't.
>>29656775
Maybe you live near cunts that need to have a brick put through their back window.
>>29656989
they are rejecting me, that doesn't make any sense