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Can anyone help me out with my fucking couch? Basically, I bought

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Can anyone help me out with my fucking couch?
Basically, I bought this sofa from that bitch Cindy Crawford, but little did I know there's all of these little fucking clear fibers that stab my dumb ass when I sit on them. Whenever I have guests over I've gotta warn them, "watch out, there's these fucking faggot fibers that are gonna stab your asshole" and then I've gotta put a blanket on the fucking thing. Has anyone else had any kind of problem with their couch, or a couch of their friends or loved ones that could give me some helpful advice here, besides just fucking going and tearing out the millions of fibers one by one like some trained fucking chimp cunt? Thanks.
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buy a tapestry or a couch cover. rooms2go should have a warranty if you're not satisfied.
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>>14369961
First, establish whether they originate within the upholstery, the cushions, or somewhere else. Take a cushion off (if they come off) and search for a zipper. If you find one, open it and remove the cushion inside. If the cushion is stuffed with the fibers, you have to replace those. If they aren't, it's the covers you have to replace.

For the short term, you can try a lint roller (or a handful of duct tape) to pull some of the fibers out without having to do it one by one.

You should never buy furniture you haven't sat in.
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