yet another shitty paint quest
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You wake up, naked, in a room. A pounding haze seems to obscure you from remembering anything important, like how you got there or who you are. Struggling, you can make out a rock on the floor and a door.
What do you do?
open the door and call the rock a faggot
>>9997
open door and peek outside
Grab the key from under the rock and use it on the door
>>9997
Smoke the rock, lock the door.
>>10007
>>10012
You try to open the door, but it looks like some faggot locked it.
>>10015
You grab the key that you miraculously knew was under the rock, and use it on the door. It clicks. Sounds like it's...!
>>10019
...locked. You grab the rock too, and smoke it the only way you can. By calling it a faggot again. Roasted.
>>10021
kick down the door and call the rock a faggot
>>10038
>Peek through keyhole with exactly ONE of your eyes
>>10038
Take the key. Stick it in my penis hole. Unlock the sexy
>>10040
You wind up to kick the door, and...
>Let's get higher than a 13 on a d20.
>>10038
>Kick the damn door
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>10062
>Summon the strength of our ancestors and force down the puny door
>>10075
...and break your foot. You're injured.
>>10062
Jerk off and cum in the opposite direction for extra thrust
>>10087
This is all the rock's fault.
Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)
chop off foot and replace it with rock
>>10087
replace foot with rock
>>10062
Let's see
>>10092
>>10093
>>10095
You use your insane macgyver skills to break off your slightly injured foot and put the stub on a rock.
>Obtained (1) Foot.
>>10108
Throw your entire body at the door. Rockfoot first.
>>10108
use rock foot to break down door
>>10108
Now use your sturdy rockfoot to kick the door down
>>10108
Now that the door disappeared walk outside
>>10115
>>10112
>>10113
Once again, you wind up, and...
>grt than 13 on a d20, +6.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>10131
>Draw on the power of your rock's ancestors to break down that fucking door
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>10131
Hope this works.
Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)
>>10131
draw furry porn with the blood from your foot and use the erection to break the door down
>>10137
>>10136
ACTION PANEL!!!
You bust through the door, summoning the power of your ancestors. You still can't remember them, but you can feel their heavy-footed influence as splinters fly everywhere.
>>10156
Finally
>Bury the remains of the door, it was a worthy opponent
>>10156
take a shard from the door with you as a weapon
>>10156
put the door back together
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>10156
Pick up splinters
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>10164
>rolling to honour the fallen warrior
>>10156
Take knob.
The doorknob, I mean.
>>10164
>>10165
You can't seem to bury the door, as the floor, upon focus, is concrete. It'd take a perfect 20 to even scratch that. You do, however, take some remnants of the door.
>>10169
>Obtained (15) normal splinters
>Obtained (1) wooden shiv (equipped)
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>10165
also try to start a fire with the wood
>>10181
Go forward from wherever you are
>>10181
shove the shiv in your pooper
>>10174
You take the doorknob. It looks like there's some kind of etching on it. You'd have to really focus on it to read it, though. You're spent.
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>10197
focus and call doorknob a faggot
>>10197
Use the knob as dildo and shove it up your ass
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>10181
etch the door's name into the floor
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>10197
>recover strength by meditating upon your past failures, such as your addiction to anime and selling flour to 10 year olds as drugs
>>10201
You attempt to focus on the doorknob. it starts to become legible, but...
>>10204
Other thoughts.
>>10191
Start filling up.
>>10207
Your mind.
>You remembered that you hate yourself.
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>10216
read the doorknob's text and scream it out repeatedly as you sodomize yourself with it
>>10216
walk around a bit
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>10216
>pinch yourself and focus once more on the shiny thing
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>10216
clear your mind
>>10221
>>10223
You think you need to take a break from focusing so hard. You're getting a headache.
>>10222
You walk further into this new room, and come across some passages. They're pretty spooky-looking, though.
>>10230
Your mind clears a bit from looking away from the doorknob.
>>10233
Enter passage
>>10235
Which one?
>>10233
Use the splinters of wood you acquired to ILLUMINATE the newly discovered passages
>>10239
right
>>10239
Rightt
>>10243
>>10241
You decide to go down the rightmost path from your perspective, but...
>>10240
Your wood splinters don't seem to be very bright. You may have to find a way to illuminate them.
>>10251
In order to see, we must first be capable of seeing
>grow some eyeballs with which to see
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>10251
eat wood
>>10251
take the lighter out of your pocket and light the way
>>10251
Jerk off furiously until the heat from friction starts a fire
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>10257
Rolling for the power of sight
>>10251
Use the power of friction to light splinter.
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>10251
Rub wood to make fire
>>10266
>>10257
It's gonna take a perfect roll of a d20 or higher to break through OP's artistic styling powers and grow eyes.
>>10278
CHARGE INTO THE DARKNESS WITH NO FEAR
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>10278
poop out wood and use the burning sensation to make a fire
>>10278
What the fuck
>attempt to diagnose self with autism in order to receive government aid and benefits.
>>10278
lay on your stomach and crawl through the corridor incase of arrow traps
>>10278
Like the majestic horned toad, spit blood to scare away enemies.
>>10291
>>10282
>>10286
You fearlessly, and autistically, crawl into the darkness of the rightmost corridor.
>>10284
You will the wood to pass through your digestive system as fast as it can. You'll have some kind of burning in no time.
>>10297
As a precaution, you spit your newfound spit-blood at anything in front of you. Nobody dares challenge you.
>>10297
>for that we'd need eyes sempai
>>10301
Scream to check if anybody is there
>>10301
Shout "ayo where da white women at" and then do a crip walk
>>10301
use the splinters to carve eyeholes into your face, which we will fill after we have slain our first opponent who has eyes
>>10307
>>10313
You yell into the abyss. The abyss replies with the sound of...horse hooves? They sound far away and startled. You decide that the crippled walk is pointless, and stand up to start to crip(ple) walk.
>>10322
Get to the source of these horse hooves
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>10326
>mimic the sound of hay, to lure the horse towards your location
>>10322
Continue toward what's probably just some asshole with two coconut shells.
>>10329
>>10326
>>10330
You mimic your memory of hay perfectly, making small whimpers of pain amongst silence. Growing up on a farm was not fun.
You continue down the hall. The sound of horses is getting farther and farther away, the clattering echoing down the concrete tunnel. There is no end in sight. Not that you have eyes anyway.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>10339
throw a wood splinter towards the sound as hard as you can
>>10339
RUN THROUGH THE HALL AT EXTREMELY HIGH SPEEDS
Rolled 8 (1d20)
Do a cartwheel down the corridor
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>10339
It's time to escape this hallway
>sperg out and sprint down with your arms spread out behind you anime style
>>10346
You decide to finally take action. First, you throw a splinter.
>(13) remaining
>>10348
>>10355
Then, you run as fast as you can.
>>10349
Finally, you attempt a cartwheel and fall, face-first, into the splinter.
You are now blind in one eye.
>>10363
>You are now blind in one eye
We have been deceived this whole time...
>>10363
Oh, and your stump rock broke off.
Why did you try to cartwheel with that thing?
>>10363
do somersaults down the hallway instead
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>10369
Wedge the damn thing back on
>>10372
God bless you anon
>>10369
Check to see if the splinters you ate are ready to be shat out.
>>10369
Cut part of your other leg off with a splinter so that your legs are equal length and then crip walk down the hallway
>>10372
You wedge the damn thing back on.
In fact, you wedge the damn thing back on so well it becomes invincible and attached to your leg forever.
The force you applied on it also activated its glow-in-the-dark crystals, lighting up the passage.
Your amazement at this feat (haha) regained focus. You can now attempt to look at things in detail.
Now that's getting off on the right foot!
Well, it's your left. Same thing.
>>10385
keep running down the hallway
>>10385
Gaze forward and see what's ahead
Rolled 5 (1d20)
Attempt to regain depth perception
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>10385
Inspect your knob closely.
>>10390
No such luck. That thing's wedged in there, and you're fairly certain it's a lost cause at this point. That eye ain't coming back the same.
>>10387
>>10388
You continue down the hallway, at a considerably faster pace than before thanks to your rockfoot. Looking ahead with your one good, unillustrated eye, you see some horses in a room. They notice you, too, and start to whinny uncertainly.
>>10405
kick the horses with immortal rockfoot
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>10405
Calm them with the same methods you learnt growing up on the farm
>shoulder massage
>>10405
TAME THE HORSE
>>10403
Looks pretty normal to you.
Determine the sex of each horse
>>10408
You couldn't do that to a sweet old horse.
>>10410
>>10412
>>10417
You grew up on the farm. The horses quickly relax in your presence. It's time to familiarize yourself.
HORSEBUILDING
Highest d10 roll determines this horse's name and gender!
Highest d20 roll determines stats! (Speed, strength, intellegence)
Highest d4 roll determines one special characteristic!
Get customizing!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>10435
Curry-FootFolger
Rolled 6 + 1 (1d20 + 1)
>>10435
Puddles (male)
Speed: 1337
Strength: 404
Intelligence: 3
Special: can pee really really hard
>>10441
meant to be a space there
>Curry-Foot Folger
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>10443
Fucked up the roll, let's try that again
Rolled 3 (1d4)
>>10443
Rolling for special
Leaving the thread for tonight. Hopefully there will be plenty of horsebuilding to do! Till then.
Rolled 15 + 1 (1d20 + 1)
>>10446
Speed: 4
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 99
Special: Hooves taste like curry when licked
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>10448
Dammit, rolling for name and gender
Rolled 1 (1d4)
>>10435
special: it pees so hard it can fly
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>10435
name: adolf
male
Rolled 3 (1d4)
>>10435
Special: It's secretly one of the most dangerous assassin's in the world
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>10435
Name: Horse
Sex: Male
Gender: Female
Rolled 2 (1d4)
>>10435
Can turn into a tiny bronze horse statuette for convenient transportation.
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>10435
speed - 89,000 km/s
strength - can squat 3000 pounds
intelligence - 56 IQ
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>10435
name - faggot
sex - hermaphrodite capable of fucking itself to make more horses
Rolled 2 (1d4)
>>10435
special ability - sexually identifies as an attack helicopter
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>10435
Pho King, male
whrre yhe fuck is he
