Wizard Quest
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You are a novice wizard. Your purpose is as of yet unknown. You are a strict carnivore.
To the north is the Darkbog.
To the east, a steep cliff.
To the west, Smumford Town.
To the south is your cozy seaside bungalow.
>>84719
Go to the bungalow
>>84737
Your bungalow is in view, decrepit, but comfortable for your standards.
To the south is the Blithian Sea, purplish and poisonous as always.
To the north is the crossroads.
>>84781
Go fish in the Blithian Sea
>>84834
The last thing you pulled out of there was a rotted skemple's corpse, but who knows, maybe you'll get lucky this time.
You cast out your trusty line and wait for a bite.
Glumpf is watching.
>>84877
Tell that creepy looking fucker to fuck off
>>84916
Glumpf stares for a moment longer, tears beginning to form under his swollen brow. However, he does migrate to the western edge of the coast.
Your rod has not budged.
>>84953
Start a staring contest with him
>>84953
Flip Glumpf off, tell him he's angry for him losing your copy of Lethal Weapon 3
>>84986
*you're angry
>>84986
You shout some very colorful expletives at Glumpf, not forgetting to mention the vast number of action movies he's borrowed from you and not returned.
Honestly, you don't know why you even bother with him anymore.
But hark! Your line, it is being tugged!
>>85035
Pull the pole!
>>85035
Pull it with all your might, use your wizardly telekinesis to get the fish if possible
>>85071
>>85074
You yank the pole, and your waterlogged prize is easily stolen from the acidic abyss before you.
Aha! It seems you've snagged an adolescent garbage pixie. Many old wives' tales regard them as being mischievous and generally a nuisance.
She is alive and kicking, but quite firmly hooked, so she certainly won't get free without some kind of assistance.
>>85182
Tie a leash to her so that you can have her as a pet, then promptly buy a collar for her
>>85182
Tell her you'll use your wizard magic to release her if she gives you some sort of magical garbage gift
>>85182
rape it
>>85214
Upon attempting speech with the smelly nymph, she responds with a good amount of hissing and swipes with her undeveloped claws. Seems she wasn't taught the common tongue by her sires.
>>85212
You improvise a leash using your fishing line, which is more than enough to keep your new rambunctious friend in good spirits.
Of course, if you wanted to buy anything for her, the town is always just north and then west from here.
>>85319
Head to town and hum a tune to comfort the nymph
>>85319
While leaving, be sure to flip Glumpf off one last time, for good luck.
Also be careful for grues, they might be roaming around
>>85336
You trot towards Smumford Town with your newfound and newly-bound pet, whistling a jaunty wizard tune. She has calmed down considerably, but still significantly bitter about her new life.
You are now at the town entrance, where a few buildings for traveling merchants are assembled. The occupants of these houses tend to change from day to day, so you never know who or what could be happening in each one.
Your options are a building labeled "WUMP," a building with a shield symbol, and a Boiled Yogurt stand.
You may also continue to the town square, or head back to the crossroads.
>>85459
Check out the WUMP building
>>85459
Order a boiled yoghurt, grue flavored for you and Khoktees (the garbage pixie)
>>85484
As you and Khoktees enter the WUMP building, you notice a very pungent and overpowering scent hit you like a wall.
The building is disgustingly unkempt, with leftover food and cobwebs littering every corner.
A hooded and unsavory male ELF is standing at a counter, no doubt eyeing you from behind his shroud.
Seems the new shopkeeper doesn't know that it's common courtesy to clean the building before you open it. Typical elf.
>>85618
Call him disgusting knife-ear and get Khoktees to eat his face
>>85618
use yer wizard powers to throw all of his mess at him. That'll teach him to keep the place clean.
>>85648
Your penchant for creative swears and slurs is put to good use once more, calling the disgusting big-nosed elf every close-minded name in the book. In a state of extreme confidence, you command Khokky to attack the inferior beast!
However, she seems to be more interested in a cold salmon filet she found between the floorboards.
The elf has a gun.
>>85783
Tell him, "what are you going to do, shoot me?" then promptly get shot
>>85783
Use the leash to whip Khokky in the elf's direction and attempt to knock the gun out of his hand
We should roll dice to confirm what's going to happen, like 1 dice of 10 should be best
>>85812
Fear takes ahold of your nervous system as you cover your eyes and swing your khok-flail into the subhuman ingrate, knocking the gun from his hand and into the air! (Khoktees will remember that)
>>85850
Okay, fine, roll 1d10 for whatever comes next.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>85919
Pillage the WUP store and with the money you find buy yourself a boiled yoghurt, give some to Khokky for being a good girl
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>85919
[Glass her]
>>85919
Take the gun for later use
>>85951
After disarming the mongoloid and threatening him again, you lay claim to the entirety of his store's inventory: forty discolored oxnode steaks. You leave the store with your bounty and Khoktees indignantly in tow.
Your options are the Boiled Yogurt stand, the Shield building, the town square, or the crossroads.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86066
oops
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>86085
Head for the boiled yogurt stand, maybe you can apologize to Khokky with a treat
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>86085
Go to the Boiled Yoghurt stand and order a boilet yoghurt caramel slime flavour (if I roll a 10 he gets a life-time supply of boilet yoghurt)
>>86105
You enter the Boiled Yogurt stand, hoping that they still have Warty Mulch, your childhood favorite.
In the center of the room, next to a black cauldron over a firepit, stands a HAG. She does not acknowledge your presence.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86085
Buy Khoktees a yogurt for being a good girl. The dice says how much she liked it.
Ask chef at boiled yoghurt to boil khok in your yoghurt for extra flava
>>86189
Agreed
>>86189
While she cannot verbally express her enjoyment, the boiled yogurt you bought for her is clearly the greatest thing she's ever put inside of her body. You hope that all is forgiven.
Your yogurt is also quite tasty, but not nearly as good as it used to be. Sigh...
So, you may now go into either the shield building, the town square, or the crossroads.
You have forty oxnode steaks and an empty yogurt cup in your inventory.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>86302
Go to the shield building, knock on the door, and impersonate a Jehovah's Witness recruiter
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>86302
The owner of the shield building is a thicc elf
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>86302
go to the shield store and try to barter using your steaks and cup as trade items
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>86350
Seconding this
>>86326
An iron golem answers the door of the shield building, a hollow, empty face staring back at you. You spout several paragraphs of scripture from the Official Scroll of the Supreme Overwizard by Hump Gruzner, but the golem seems completely unfazed.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>86416
Claim that you'll offer him 10 steaks in exchange for a nice shield
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>86416
Ask if his creator is there, for you came bearing goods to barter
>>86431
Yes
>>86427
>>86431
Upon offering 10 of your bluish steaks to the golem, he produces a kite shield with a golden metallic sheen, engraved with the likeness of an overweight elfish maiden.
Seems he was only programmed for barter.
Will you continue to offer trade, or go to the town square?
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86416
Throw the empty yogurt cup at the golem.
>>86512
Offer 5 more steaks for a shield with a more appealing creature on it.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>86512
Give him the yogurt cup for a small hat for Khokky
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>86512
see what the rest of the steaks and yogurt cup will get you
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>86530
whoops forgot to roll
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>86512
Why the hell do we need a shield? Let's get a bigass staff instead
>>86528
>>86532
The iron golem interprets the hurled yogurt cup as another item for trade, and offers a tiny ski mask in return.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86612
Take the tiny ski mask, put it on, rob the giant.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>86612
Give it to the pixie
We're about to go wizard mugging
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86612
Take it
>>86629
>>86630
Naturally, you hand the diminutive headwear to your personal malodorous miscreant. Before you can say anything else to the golem, the door is closed in your face, with a sign saying "Come Again Soon."
Your options are the town square, the crossroads, or the Boiled Yogurt stand again.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>86739
crossroads, boys
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86739
She fucking loves the balaclava
>>86739
Steal the sign and go to the crossroads, make a lute with your magic and earn some money with playing it while Khokky dances
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>86796
forgot to roll
>>86751
Well, here we are again.
To the north is the Darkbog.
To the west is a steep cliff.
To the south is your cozy seaside bungalow.
To the east is Smumford Town.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>86826
Go to steep cliff to meditate, maybe you'll get a new power, Khokky stands guard
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>86826
Go back to bungalow and do some magic experiments
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>86826
Go to the bungalow and apologize to Glumpf, you were just having a bad day back then
>>86838
You sit at the edge of the sheer cliff face and close your eyes. The sound of the deadly waters below thrashing against the rocks, the ebb and flow of the forces of the cosmos all rocking together in an endless cascade of orderly chaos coalesces within your being to bring you to a grand and staggering realization...
That boiled yogurt isn't sitting so well.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>86943
Take a shit on the ledge, relax your poor stomach
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>86943
Take a steaming shit off the cliff. Make sure the pixie doesn't see your shame.
>>86958
>>86972
You relieve yourself off the edge of the cliff, an experience that you find much more liberating than the chamber pot back home. Khoktees was preoccupied with the flowers at the time, so no embarrassment was to be had.
Your options are the crossroads or the deadly waters below.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>87095
go to the crossroads
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>87095
Make a barrel appear out of nowhere and jump down the waters with it, flipping off Glompf in the progress
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>87095
rip glompf. Crossroads!
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>87095
Crossroads, and this time we have an unlikely encounter with somebody from our past
>>87134
You decide that your boring ol' life of stealing meat from elves and bartering with chubby-chasing golems is over, and adventure awaits in the poisonous seas below!
Finally putting your wizard powers to good use, you conjure a wooden barrel for you and Khoktees to ride to the seas beyond. As you and your companion plummet down the cliff face, you are sure to raise your middle digit to the now excrement-clad Glumpf.
You are both now bobbing on the vile Blithian Sea, adventure in every direction, at least potentially.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>87343
Float around the area, playing music with your newly conjured lute, until you are washed up on a shore somewhere
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>87343
oh man look it's some magical realmwe just avoided it and went straight past
>>87343
This feels dangerous. Do we have any powers?
>>87343
Fish as we bob and look for land
>>87370
We make-a the lute, and we take-a a wizard break.
Tune in next time for another exciting adventure (maybe a few hours later).
>>87555
Good quest, nice trips
We have a bumbling and lovable main character.
The unwilling, kind of cute, assistant/pet
The idiot idiot who gets shit on.
And the potential for adventure like no wizard has ever seen before.
And we're back.
After five days at sea, you and your unwashed friend arrive at a strange and possibly uncharted beach.
You have consumed 10 of your unsanitary oxnode steaks on your journey.
Khoktees has dysentery.
Your inventory consists of 20 discolored oxnode steaks and a Pocket Manual of Wizardry.
Your paths include north along the coastline, south along the coastline, or east into a dark and foreboding forest.
>>89321
Stuff the pages from the manual in Khoktees butthole to stop dysentery, quick!
>>89486
Dysentery is no joke! With a mighty fist, you tear a handful of pages from your manual and cram them into Khoktees' secret love cave.
Also it is now nighttime, and Khoktees has gone to sleep.
>>89536
Go fish
>>89536
Check that spoopy forest out but make sure to put your skeleton suit on to avoid unwanted attention from the ghosts and goblins.
>>89581
You cast out your stretchy wizard arm and wait for a bite.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>89636
Rolling for what we catch.
>>89636
Magicarp
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>89636
We catch yet another pixie
>>89652
You have fished an agitated water wizard.
Uh oh.
>>89730
Offer to trade for a steak
>>89730
Ask how he is not poisoned.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>89730
De-agitate him with our fists.
>>89742
You offer Skloxmogg (the water wizard) your least decomposed steak. His interest seems piqued, and in an agitated fashion, he offers to give you one tidbit of information about the land you are currently standing on.
What will you inquire about?
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>89730
Trade wisdom and spells with him to expand our skillset
>>89850
What is there to eat around here?
>>89850
Don't enquire, gut him like a fish and sleep in his carcass
Ask him where we can find a cure for khoktee's dysentery
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>89856
This
>>89856
Skloxmogg focuses for a moment, furrowing his brow as a physical manifestation of his knowledge begins to billow out of his head.
Skloxmogg has given you his passive ability, Pureblood Aura. All party members are kept resistant to poison and disease as long as they are close to you.
He then promptly dissolves, because of the poison.
>>89955
He was truly as wise as a wizard.
Give Khoktees a hugarooni.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>89955
pay your respects
>>90022
Skloxmogg's sacrifice will not be in vain! You put your arms around your clammy compatriot! Seems she's still a bit cranky.
You have 20 oxnode steaks, one wizard skeleton, and a large seashell in your inventory.
Beach to the north, beach to the south, forest to the east. Where go?
>>90088
Onwards to the forest
>>90088
Explore the forest
>>90100
>>90102
Morning breaks, and you both take it as a sign to continue into the forest. Trees tower above you, their bark a strange hue of blue and purple. The canopy is alive with the sounds of birds chirping, and you can pick out what appear to be distant howls amongst the rabble.
You see a break in the trees in the distance, it seems to be a clearing. Do you walk straight ahead, take a more stealthy approach, or something different?
>>90168
Walk ahead like the friendly wizard you are
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>90168
We stealth wizard. Cast something that makes both of them less visible
>>90263
You cast a spell that causes a bush to sprout from your knees, offering a neat form of impromptu cover. You creep up to the edge of the clearing, trying your best to avoid the sunbeams slicing through the trees.
You spot two figures, both small in stature. A dwarf in civilian clothing and a goblin wearing light armor. The dwarf seems suspicious, but neither of them have noticed you, hopefully.
>>90353
Keep watching.
>>90369
You stay hidden, and the two small beings continue their conversation. It seems they're trying to organize the arrival of some kind of great change, possibly a revolution of some kind.
It is at this point that you notice the hellish portal in front of them.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>90428
Cast a love spell on the goblin
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>90428
Keep watching
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>90428
Ready yourself for combat. Clearly, they are summoning a hellish abomination from hell, and we sure as hell aren't going to be their summon's first meal
>>90438
You twiddle your fingers in the goblin's direction, performing a standard beguilement spell. Seems it's awakened something deep within the goblin's own fantasies.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>90484
cast it at the dwarf too
>>90484
The goblin serenades the dwarf
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>90551
Seconding this
This is the best thread I've seen on this board
The jargon
>skemple
>Glumpf
>Smumford
I don't know why but this is just so hilarious to me
10/10 OP keep it up
>>90551
>>90565
You do the same to the dwarf. The two fellows make lustful eye contact, the blossoming love in their hearts creating a powerful but unspoken union.
Seems the dwarf is having some strange side effects, though.
Then you remember something from your early days as a young magic scholar.
Dwarves are not supposed to fall in love.
>>90639
Sounds cool, use wizardly powers and analyze the portal.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>90639
sneak past them and get a closer look at the portal
>>90639
Is Dwarf-Goblin marriage socially acceptable in this setting?
>>90658
>>90659
The two formerly platonic lovers make their way to a dark copse to do their flesh-frolicking. You and Khokky take a closer look at the portal, a roiling violet spiral with a fiery glow behind its center. A very dry and crispy draft is pulsing through it.
Will you attempt to shut the portal, go through it, or something else?
>>90673
In some multi-racial cities, perhaps. But certainly not in any primarily dwarven or goblin city.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>90729
Cast a fireball to burn the abomination you created
>>90736
Oh shit, this is happening.
>>90736
You monster
>>90736
Your study of the portal is interrupted by your own thoughts as you realize the abomination of biology and racial purity that you, yourself, had created.
You point your good finger in the pairing's direction and shoot off a standard fireball.
Seems you don't know your own strength.
>>90736
Don't be sych a bigot, man. This is the new millenium, we're talking 1000 A.D. here, not the close-minded 950's and 60's
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>90815
Tie the leash to Khoky and send her through the portal, if anything happens pull her to safety, she'll report back on what's happening
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>90815
loot the ashes and jump the fuck into the portal
>>90829
Soul drain the gobbos species war now!!
>>90834
After cutting a nicely burnt swath through the forest, you wrap your stretchy wizard-arm around Khoktees' waist.
Khokky seems to already know what's expected of her. For a garbage pixie, she's a quick learner. She passes through the membrane of the violet cloud and vanishes into the unknown.
>>90882
thx senpai u cool
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>90901
Enchant the rope so if it gets snapped the other end will blow up.
>>90914
y?
>>90901
Open your third eye to track her movements, if that fails, conjure a cup of boiled yoghurt and throw it on the portal
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>90932
Forgot roll
>>90901
Go on wizardchan and start a Glumpf hate thread
>>90951
(To pass the time while Khoktees is exploring, obviously)
>>90901
It is now Garbage Pixie Quest.
You garbage pixie, given name of Skwooga. Fat hairy fishing rod demon give name of Khoktees. In deepdark caveplace. Help help what do
>>90986
Check what walls are made of.
>>90986
Garbage pixie check cave
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>90986
Look for a gift for the wizard
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>90951
pic rel
>>90986
Try to tug on the rope, maybe bringing the fat wizard with you
>>90986
Go further in.
>>90998
Wall wall rock dusty hot breaky smash. Taste like how fire look. Yum yum in tum.
>>91033
Try to find an English-to-Pixie dictionary in there.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>91033
Turn around and notice Dlumpf who is basically Nega-Glumpf but the only difference is that he has a pair of small horns
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>91033
She gets attacked by a demon because that was his rock wall.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>91033
Go further in, but only after eating more of the wall.
>>91033
Take some wall for the road, go further in.
Holy shit I just got the name Khoktees.
>>91033
See who make cave, eat who make cave
>>91084
I thought everyone had gotten it by now, I mean it's pretty fucking obvious
>>91042
Nobook nobook but look.
Openwood in tunnel end, flat but glow glow.
>>91103
EAT
Go through the door
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>91103
Run through as fast as possible
>>91103
eat glow glow
take piece for hairy demon later
>>91103
Break down the door.
>>91110
YUM YUM OPEN SEASON OPEN WOOD
Oh hey moreglow what now
>>91154
go through door
find loot
get loot
report back to wizard
Investigation the glow
>>91154
LOOT
>>91171
>>91175
Um.
>>91236
Say hi to the man politely, and inquite on where the treasure is
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>91236
Attack it
>>91255
You cheeky bastard.
>>91255
>roll 10/10
>dubs
C R I T I C A L H I T
>>91255
DEATH DEATH GNASH GNASH
WHERE AIM??
>>91301
His dick.
>>91301
Fly through ear
attack brain
>>91301
His penis
>>91301
GO FOR THE JUGULAR
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>91301
Eye
>>91316
NUTSACK
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>91301
TITTY TWISTER
>>91316
FUG
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>91352
eat brain to gain more knowledge and intellect
>>91352
Eat brains
>>91364
this
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>91352
Bring back his crown for the wizard.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>91364
Thirding.
>>91352
Meanwhile.
>>91398
Order a magic sword of laserdom from online that shoots lasers if charged with friendship magic
>>91417
Did you eat the brains?
>>91398
Plot twist.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>91417
ACTIVATE PIXIE BEAR MODE
>>91417
Tough it out, she can handle a little weight, and the portal isn't THAT far
>>91430
>>91422
>>91369
>>91364
Seems she gained a bit more than just intellect.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>91457
Remind her of the good times they had together, and how they can have even better times now
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>91457
Use your anti demon water spray.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>91457
Promise boiled yogurt if you're allowed to go free.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>91457
Genuflect
>>91467
>>91486
Memories of the delicious boiled culture that you two shared are still fresh in her mind. You are also keen to mention that she'll probably not be able to get any more on her own for the time being.
She places you back on the extended stone platform and you walk back towards the portal.
>>91539
Ask her about her magic abilities, and if she can revert herself into her normal size, or at least the same size as you, keep your shield close by, you never know
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>91539
Conjure some yogurt that is really a very powerfull laxative before you leave the portal.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>91556
>Khoktees is gone
This is too sad for me, someone hold me...
You need to find a new friend to annoy btw
>>91556
A wizard's quest always ends with a bang. Even if it's a small one.
Wizard quest will continue again one day.
Thank you all for participating.
>>91583
Thanks OP, I really liked this story
I hope there's a second installment coming along
>>91583
What about Glumpf?!?!
>>91583
That was fun, thanks for QMing.
>>91596
Who gives a crap about that fat, ugly, disgusting, orcish pile of shit?
>>91583
Thanks QM, that was great.
>>91596
You are Glumpf. You are dead because of overexposure to wizard shit.
The end.
>>91583
Great quest, OP.
Looking forward to more wizard dickery whenever you return.
>>91623
Glumpf did nothing wrong
no bully
>>91623
Holy fuck that was hilarious
Archived for posterity:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=wizard+Quest
>>91669
Thanks anon
>>91676
Least I could do. This thread made me feel real good about /qst/.
>>91623
When can we look forward to a new quest?
>>103935
Right now.
After 2 days of being lost in a dark and mysterious forest, you finally reach a vast and open clearing. Emerald green grasses stretch up and down the edge of a roiling river. Colossal mountains jut from the northern horizon. A bridge is to the east, leading over the river. A quarry is to the south.
Your inventory consists of two pounds of rot that used to be steak, and a shard of mutated dwarf remains.
>>104991
Make the dwarf remains into a elemental pet and name it in honor of your previously pet.
>>105047
You mold the rotten meat around the mutant dwarf shard, carefully and deliberately pressing the organic matter into the cracks of the fragment. You must now choose your method of giving life to the lifeless:
BLOOD
MIND
SOUL
>>105101
Bloood, it will be our
>>105101
Combine BLOOD and SOUL.
>>105101
SOUL
>>105119
...fleshy slave
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>104991
Combine rot and dwarf shard, otherwise head to quarry.
>>105101
Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D8fS9-Yimdhw
>>105119
>>105127
You slice into that palm of your hand with your teeth, then clench your fist over the empty husk that will be your new thrall.
Electric twangs of pain echo through your nerves as the sweet, life-giving nectar of your veins drizzles onto the meatmold.
Now you must call to a Demonic Champion of Beyondium to finalize this devilish contract. You can recall three of them from the top of your head:
BOOMSLEAZE
GOXX MORONGO
KOG
>>105170
GOXX KOG MORONSLOOM
>>105170
Boomsleaze, sounds like the one who would give us a lewd, busty familiar
>>105170
KOG
>>105170
Boomsleaze, he sounds like my kind of guy
>>105170
BOOMSLEAZE
>>105170
Boomsleaze baybeeeeeee
>>105179
"O Boomsleaze, Father of the Dead Sirens, Neverending King of the Overrated Spire, the Boiling Core That Will Cook Our Whales Alive, I speak a request to thee. Give this empty shell of rot and charred remains life, take my blood as your boon, and may your will bend the fabric of hatred itself. This I humbly request."
Willst thou finish this ritual?
>>105252
Da tovarisch
>>105252
Yes, also boomsleaze there's a giant garbage pixie demon hybrid you'd probably want to deal with.
>>105252
Yes, and astrally wink at boomsleaze as you finish the ritual.
>>105252
"In longing memory of the deceased and great Skloxmogg, fill this hollow tribute in essence of his sake. also that asshole Glompf too or whatever. May my essence combined give empty fruit to the vessel I now deem Skloxmpf"
>>105256
The ritual was a success!
You have created a level 12 GONCCUBUS.
Khoktees II is born.
>>105301
Celebrate with some cold slimescream
>>105301
TO THE QUARRY!
>>105301
Wield your gonccubus
>>105301
What level are we?
>>105301
destroy this lewd abomination
>>105309
You stand at the edge of the quarry. There is evidence that there has been recent mining here, but now the pit seems completely deserted.
Widner the Death Wizard is nearby.
Khoktees II is smelling you.
>>105301
Have the gonccubus seduce Glumpf and take his soul for wizardly reasons
>>105345
Make the goncubbus lick Widner's elbow
>>105345
Brag to winder about uplifting a garbage pixie into a daemon lord.
>>105354
Seconding this.
>>105351
Widner has always been the butt of many magical jokes in the wizard community. You figure a simple lick would help raise his spirits.
Khoktees II's psychic bond allows her to sidle into action without you even asking.
Widner does not seem to have noticed.
>>105366
it eats him whole.
>>105366
Ask him what he has done with his life lately, casually mentioning that as for you, you caused a garbage pixie to become a demon lord
>>105372
>>105375
You decide to greet yourself properly. You start to retell the many adventures you've had recently, not forgetting to mention the horrible fate you may have given to an old familiar of yours. You push Khoktwo to lick much faster.
Widner has still said and done nothing.
>>105408
punch him in the face, wizard style
>>105408
A wild dung troll attacks out of no where!
>>105408
Gloat harder and more bombastically, enough for your ego to cause a singularity.
>>105408
Check to see if he's alive, if not steal his belongings and hat.
>>105417
This. Either guy is stoic as fuck, or he's dead and ripe for looting
>>105413
Your heart thumps in your chest as you ready a playful jab to his jaw. Widner is such a wet blanket, maybe it's time you show him who's king of the proverbial playground!
You let loose your mean left hook, only for a cascade of brown fluid to eject from his facial orifices.
Widner's face peels off as easily as an orange's rind, sticking to your hand from a mixture of blood and viscera.
As it turns out, Widner the Death Wizard is dead.
>>105443
turn his face skin into a widner hand puppet
>>105443
Loot the corpse for valuables and create a second familiar using his corpse
>>105443
loot body, then throw the corpse in the quarry.
>>105443
Absorb his knowledge.
>>105449
This
>>105443
Revive skeleton using MIND now
>>105483
>skele-birch
Fuck me, I need to double check this shit before I post. I meant skele-bitch
>>105460
>>105454
>>105449
Widner may not have been very popular at the local taverns, but he was an even bigger bookworm than Strombologolar Bishbashbosh, the Wizard of Light. Probing his mind for information is an opportunity almost too good to pass up.
You and your partner in grime prepare a MIND meld. Khokatoo pushes Widner's corpse into a prone position, and you are almost ready to probe.
Be wary, however. Melding with the mind of an experienced wizard can be extremely dangerous, no matter how long he's been dead. Which aspect of Widner's mind will you scour?
EMOTIONS
MEMORY
KNOW-HOW
>>105517
MEMORY
let's see how this nigga died
>>105517
KNOW HOW
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>105517
Memory. Roll determines how well things work out
>>105517
memory, with that shit we'll learn the spells he did, and also how he died
>>105517
Memory, we'll see all the shit he saw, learned, and got killed by. Plus he might've had a secret hidey hole for treasure that we can find.
Also get that nigga's hat
>>105527
You peer into Widner's last memory. Judging by the clarity of this vision, it seems he died one week ago.
A tall and gaunt WRAITH stands before him, its spindly form shrouded with several layers of muddy cloth. It appears to be sucking the life out of Widner, quite literally.
Widner is standing in the exact same position you found him. Seems he faced his own demise with his trademark disposition.
Will you peer farther into his memories?
>>105559
WE MUST GO DEEPER
>>105559
yes
we've seen Serbian Film, nothing can scar us
>>105559
Discard all respect for the dead and start rooting through his high school memories
>>105559
Let's go deeper, we may find something of interest. Let's just hope it goes as well as it did the first time.
>>105559
nah, get drunk instead
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>105575
A dice roll to see if fortune favors us
>>105565
Seems you're now at a month ago, timewise. Widner is standing somewhere different now, possibly a cave or very dark room. Three wraiths are there, speaking to him in an ancient tongue. Widner seems to understand, though your observation is merely visual, so the details are completely lost on you.
There could be more beyond this point. The cloudiness of the memories is beginning to grow into a milky fog. Will you plunge deeper still?
>>105584
More pls
>>105584
FUCK
YES
Let's check what this crotchety old bastard did to get himself offed
>>105584
Always go deeper. Pulling out ain't the wizard way
>>105584
Stop, its starting to get risky. try and gather some knowhow
>>105591
GO BIG
OR
GO HOME
>>105585
>>105586
You delve deeper, and one last memory seems salvageable. The cloud seems to part as you behold a darkness unlike any other. The endless void splits to reveal a gargantuan, unblinking eye, its pupil split in two, its iris mottled and scattered, and dark-colored veins criss-crossing its yellow exterior.
While this memory is almost at the threshold of being intangible, the eye itself is piercing through the fog, directly into your being.
There is no mistaking it.
Widner has visited the Realm of the Dedd Godd.
>>105610
Be stunned by this stunning revelation
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>105610
Poke eye with magic
>>105610
Dispose of his body quick, it may have remnant dark magic and you don't want to grow an ear on your back again!
>>105610
leave his memories
>>105621
You extend an astrally projected hand, tingling with magical energy. Upon exerting an outside force on Widner's memories, the memory node is ruptured, and the mind meld is over.
Widner's brain has been utterly destroyed by the mind meld, and is unable to provide any further information. His corpse may still hold some useful items.
You have also gleaned from his memories that there is a town across the nearby bridge, called Volgwoor. The mountains to the north are called the Songbones.
Khoktwo is still licking Widner's body.
>>105651
LOOT and the head to the town. Best quest
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>105651
Loot Widner, hopefully he has something of interest.
>>105651
Use Winders corpse to upgrade Khoktees
>>105651
take his hat and remaining bones/flesh + loot
>>105657
You take what you can from Widner's former person. You find one wizard skeleton in good condition, an amulet depicting the God of Pests, Glunjorr, and five pounds of edible wizard meat.
You are now standing at the foot of Volgwoor bridge. You may attempt to cross it, or head up the river bank.
>>105668
Lets go acros the bridge
Make a raft from our companions body to float across on.
>>105668
Give the amulet to Khoktees II
Sorry gang, gotta take a break for now. Should be back tomorrow night for some more wizardry quest.
>>105763
thanks WizMaster, this adventure is A+
>>105763
See you later.
And op was never heard from again
Favorite quest yet. Good drawings, good story improv with no railroading, and good humor
>>105763
Wizmaster come back
pls no die
