Chef quest
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Your name is Chef Boyardee highest ranked Chef on the GCA (Global chef's association), but recently your childhood rival and next door neighbor has been catching up to you. This man's name is Gordan Ramsey.
What will you do
Cook and serve yourself.
>>82874
You climb into your giant can and place it on the stove
You turn on the oven and climb in, but after 15 minutes you realize the power is out.
Now how will you cook yourself?
>>82957
Go to your neighbor's house
>>82962
>ate] [Auto] 9
You almost vomit at the thought, but at this point you seem to have no other options
>>83095
Disguise yourself as a food delivery addressed to him.
>>83113
You put on an old pizza uniform from your 20s paint on eyes and color in your mustache
You look like a straping young twenty year old, the perfect disguise
>>83230
Make sure he tips
>>83242
You sew a tip jar to your uniform and proceed to Ramsey's house
>>83269
I think he liked pepperoni and mushroom
>>83269
Serve your dick in the pizza as a gift to him
>>83269
Make that pizza with extra sausage ;)
>>83269 Give him the pizza, accept his tip and procced to knock him the fuck out shortly afterwards
>>83271
>>83291
>>83299
You deliver the Pepperoni and mushroom pizza with a special extra semen suprise
>>83348
That'll be 12.99 plus tip
>>83358
>>83315
You gesture for a tip and ready to strike him with a can of Ravioli as he leans in
>>83379
Scratch that, chokehold
>>83387
You grab him by his neck to begin chocking him out
>>83453
Then you grab a can from your back pocket and hit him in the head
>>83453
Make him lose consciousness, then go inside to use his kitchen
>>83467
use his blood to make black pudding
then serve it to him
also force him to clean up the kitchen afterwards
>>83467
Search for traps.
>>83477
>>83476
>>83469
You gather some blood, enter the house and check for traps.
You find two mouse traps and a playchef next to a trip wire.
After deactivating the Traps and gathering the Chesse cubs(2) and Magazine(1) you enter the kitchen
Before you is one 3 shelved fridge a bunch of cupboards a sink and the pizza and an oven
>>83545
Use the magazine to refill our secret finger-gun.
>>83545
After refilling your gadget, try to accomplish the goal of cooking yourself with your enemy's cutting-edge oven.
>>83574
You begin reloading but before you finish you have a mission
Your squirt gun is now at 100 % full
>>83694
Look around to make sure the perimeter isn't compromised, then perform an assault on the mission. Switch gun to full auto, and mag dump into as many targets as possible.
>>83654
You approach his oven
No.
THE oven
After selling his soul to Kraft, Ramsey received infinite wealth, TV shows and the ultimate one of a kind oven forged by Satan itself
It's said to be able to cook food cold.
You attempt to turn on the oven but you realize you have no idea how it works theres a couple of dials on top and a mini screen with buttons standard oven stuff but theres also Various switches screens and buttons on either sides and front of the oven
Where do you start
>>83732
enter the konami code
if that doesn't work tie up ramsay and torture him till he explains how it works
>>83732
A food forge that can craft culinary cuisine cold.
But what happens if we crank the heat to as hot as it can go?
Shove the magazine into the oven, and use the cheese cubes from earlier as ear protection.
>>83732
After going rambo (if so), try flicking some of the oven's switches and kicking it a couple of times with high hopes that something will happen.
>>83750
You plug in your snes controller that you always keep handy amd enter the code
an apple pie appears from the oven and you put it in your pizza bag
>>83822
emboldened by the succes we try to see what happens when we go for HALFAPRESS FOR 15 minutes
>>83766
You CRANK the heat and place the magazine in the oven
It will be missed
After a few minutes you get a smell of something odd like chlorine or a 13 year old's room
it would seem the oven is about to do something drastic
>>83848
Use the apple pie tin as a shield.
>>83848 Get the hell out of there, don't risk it. That smell is only bad news
>>83943
where's our MS Paint image OP?
Are you THIS bad?
>>83943
Roll to take half damage (or none if we have Evasion). Hurl flattened pan-disc into the smoke captain america shield style.
>>83967
You attempt to roll but due to your awful phsique from eating only canned foods you fall on your face and break your arm
you still have the pan though
>>84054
Damn. Well, use the tin to hack off our arm and use it to arm ourselves against whatever horrors just came out of that oven. Wield the pie sword in our offed hand.
The oven explodes causing the mansion to be destroyed but thanks to your thick fat ability you take 1/4 the damage and survive but hear screams coming form where the oven was
>>84068
THe pie pan was destroyed by the blast so you instead wield your other arm
>>84133
Quickly fold the fingers on the arms we bear into the shape of a gun, and rush towards the screaming.
have you guy's seen chef?
>>84153
You charge whatever is in the smoke cloud
with your other arm shaped like a gun
>>84245
Holy crap, the pie regenerated our arm! We can now use a three-handed sword!
Thrust into the smoke with our arm-armament, shouting "Bang bang bang!" and jerking our weapon as if to shoot. Whatever sonvabitch was living in there aint gonna be living after that.
>>84293
You start jabbing at the creature but as you do the smoke clears the monster is revealed to be the most horrifying thing ever...
Before you stands
>>84335
Cyberdemon Ramsey
>>84335
A talking pile of Jackie Chan's smegma
>>84335
wwssdawwsdassswwasdsswas
>>84346
Cyber Ramsey v.9.1
Equiped with high power laser canons shoulder mounted rockets, eye lasers
a plasma sword a 12" dick and machine guns in his pectorals
Shit son
>>84335
a skeleton
>>84447
jerk off on Ramsey then go home
>>84447
Poke the self destruct button in his chest with our extra arm gun.
>>84496
You attempt to jerk him off but his massive cock hits you and knocks you to the ground causing you to hit your head and be knocked out for two real life hours (Story will be back in two hours)
>>84560
>5 hours ago
REEEEEE
>>84560
Wake up to see that it was all a dream you wake up at guy fieri's house with empty bottles as far as the eye can see and 200 missed calls from your assistant
