A Dumb Quest (continued)
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You're Hugh Gus, a pro wrestler and generally cool dude with the innate ability to literally pull weapons out of your ass and heal your wounds with alcohol. You're traveling the world with your newfound friend Red and fighting off people who want to kill you for some reason, this is your story.
The story so far: http://imgur.com/a/MrEHE
Previous thread: >>33838
I'm working on updating the imgur link with the most recent stuff, I'm going to start working on the next page as soon as I'm done.
>>68580
There is no paprika in your immediate vicinity.
>>64820
>>65722
You introduce yourself and Red as fellow warriors of justice, the guy gives you two a doubting look.
>"Huh, really? You two don't look much like heroes...no capes or cool outfits, y'know? But hey, who am I to tell a dude with a huge, flaming sword what to do? I'm Derek, nice ta' meetcha! I was sent over here by a...company to stop this one seriously bad dude from turning San Fran into a pile of dust."
Looks like this kid knows quite a bit about what's going on here.
>>64355
>>64377
>>68691
You proceed to walk over to where the big dude was punched, but Derek grabs your arm as you pass by. His touch feels unpleasant and is making your arm feel tingly in a strange way, what's up with this guy?
>"I REALLY wouldn't do that if I were you, that dude's seriously bad news. My punch might've stunned him for a bit, but he apparently has tons of abilities that we don't know about yet. I mean, we just know that he has suns or something in his forearms, that's how he burns shit up. But we've seen victims murdered in different ways by the guy, so engaging him now is a no-no. Sorry, bub...actually, now that I think of it, we should skeedadle. That guy has a fucking temper and it might not be a good idea to dwaddle here."
>>72130
Walk back and ask him about why his hand feels weird, he might actually be an enemy.
>>72130
Ask him if he knows where we could find a wrestling ring. Also ask him what the hell is going on.
>>72873
You ask him what the Hell is going on and if he knows where a wrestling ring is.
>"Well y'see, there are things things called ghosts that live in this world with us people. Now I know what you're thinkin', 'aren't ghosts supposed to be spooky bedsheet monsters?' Well, in this case, they're like undead people. We don't know how they're made, but they either live normal people lives or they turn out like that guy and declare war on humanity for whatever reason. ANYWAY, they're really fucking strong and dangerous if they're like that dude. So yeah, stay away if you don't know exactly what they do. Oh, and I have no fucking clue where a wrestling wring is. I mean, I've only been to two WWE fights in Vegas and New York."
He gives you a shrug.
>>72751
You mention the tingly hand and step back a bit.
>"Oh yeah, prooooobably should've mentioned that. I'm a living atomic bomb, so that was probably radioactivity you were feeling...you should probably get yourself checked out, my man."
>>77838
We should probably drink more alcohol to heal any radiation sickness we have and wander around aimlessly until we find a ring.
>>78410
Or wait until a mutated arm grows out of our stomach.
>>77838
We need to get all the trash lids we can find to use as shields. And throw the remains of the bug chick in one of the cans to give her a proper burial.
>>78410
>>79166
>>79931
You weigh your options and decide on drinking some alcohol just in case you've been irradiated, you tell Red and Derek that you'll be right back, dash into the convenience store (conveniently located behind you) and dash out drinking a beer. You've stored some beers in your ass.
You grab the ashes of the bug woman that haven't been blown away, dash off again, and return. You've laid the ashes to rest and stored several trash can lids in your ass. Red turns to you and scratches his head.
>"So, uh, what now?"
You mention that you'd like to wander aimlessly for a bit, Derek gives you a look.
>"Hey, man. I know that wandering is fun and all, but would you like to come with me? The guys over at the lab that I work for wouldn't mind checking out your abilities, you'll get cash and a couple of free airplane rides from it."
Looks like you have a serious choice to make.
>>81231
Only if we get to ride on top of the airplane.
>>81231
Maybe if they can make us a portable wrestling ring
>>81231
Are free sunglasses involved?
>>81231
Don't go to the lab who knows what they are going to do to you.
>>81231
Maybe we can get a mad scientist companion. I say go for it.
>>81232
>>81248
>>81785
>>83078
>>84536
You figure that since things are so fucked already, they can't get any worse. You do have these ghost things, Franz, a mystery assassin, and a dude who hired people to kill you after you, maybe you can get this lab to help you out...and you could probably get some extra things from it. You list your demands to Derek and put heavy emphasis on the sunglasses and portable wrestling ring.
>"I'm sure that we can do most of those, although the riding on top of the airplane thing is a no-no. Those braniacs over at the lab don't like damaging people that they could potentially learn from. Here, give me a sec."
Derek pulls out a phone and starts talking to some people, mentioning you and Red as well as your demands. Red turns to you with a slightly worried look on his face.
>"A-are you sure that it's, uh, safe to trust this guy? I mean, he seems nice and he, uh, legitimately seems like he wants to help, but we don't know what they'll do to us in that lab."
Before you have time to answer, Derek turns to you too with a grin.
>"Good news! They can do a portable wrestling ring and sunglasses! You two still in? It's a pretty good deal."
>>88425
Of course we're in.
>>88425
Hell Yeah, portable wrestling ring
I'm riding on the plane. Try and stop me.
>>88425
Tell this guy to mind his space so he doesn't kill us and also to get us as much alcohol as humanely possible. It's all going right up our ass.
>>88478
>>88555
>>91137
You agree to the terms and tell him to acquire as much alcohol as possible for the flight.
>"Sweet, the jet's going to be at the San Fran airport relatively soon, so we should get going."
A limousine shows up and Derek motions for you two to get inside, the limo heads off to the airport when all three of you are inside. Eventually, you get to the airport and get on a fancy jet full of alchohol (which you shove up your ass).
You finally get to JFK National Airport after several hours of flight, partially exhausted. Another limo pops by and drives the three of you over to a large facility right outside of the city, surrounded by barbed wire. You hop out and Derek rings a bell next to the gate...no response.
>"Huh...that's weird. Normally those nerds answer me right away...let me try again!"
He hits it again...no answer. Frustrated now, Derek repeatedly hits the doorbell.
>"Hey, assholes! Let us in or I'm knocking down the door!"
No answer. Derek, now visibly angry, gives the front door a solid punch, causing a small nuclear explosion around his fist and knocking the door back. No alarms sound, maybe they don't have any?
>"All right, this is fucking weird, we're going in. Follow me."
You and Red follow Derek in, hopeful that you'll get your sunglasses. The second that the facility's main door opens, however, three corpses fall down in front of the three of you. Red looks sick to his stomach and speaks up.
>"I-i-is this normal? A-are the researchers usually, uh, d-dead?"
Derek runs inside, not giving Red an answer. You shrug, and run inside with Red trailing behind you. You finally catch up to Derek, but he's staring at a hill of corpses with some dude standing at the top...oh shit, he has wings! The man looks over at the three of you with a very serious face and begins to speak.
>"'Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.' This facility killed and attempted to change the human body in order to supposedly perfect that which God had already made perfect, these bodies are testimonies to what happens when humans attempt to manipulate what is made in God's image. Are the three of you former test subjects? I'm very sorry for what you've been through, please feel free to assist me in taking down this terrible corporation so that we can free more troubled souls."
>>92566
Oh cmon man they were gonna get us a portable wrestling ring and sunglasses! Do you know how much of a benefit to mankind those would have been?
>>92566
Go along with whatever crap he said, poke around and try to find sunglasses and a portable wrestling ring
>>93107
This but also tell Derek and Red our plan
>>92566
If Derek attempts to fight, back him up. He still owes us the stuff he promised.
>>92602
>>93107
>>93995
>>94133
You decide that agreeing with this guy's bullshit would be the best way to get your goddamn sunglasses and wrestling ring. You turn to Red and Derek to tell them your plan, but before you can even say one word, Derek dashes off towards the angel dude. You shrug and tell Red to help you back Derek up. The angel dude looks over nonchalantly at Derek running up at him.
>"What a shame, I was hoping that you would turn to the light. Well then, I must be off. I do have a friend that I picked up while raiding another one of your facilities, I'll let her know that you're opposed to what I'm doing."
The man jumps past Derek and practically vanishes while dashing out. Before you can comprehend where he went, you hear a loud THUNK coming from a door on the other side of the room and see a huge, fist-shaped dent in the reinforced steel door. All of a sudden, several more thunks are heard as more fistlike dents appear in the door and the door's smashed away from where it was firmly installed. In the doorway is an angry-looking girl with...bunny ears? This has to be a joke...
>>100592
We don't have time for this. Suplex her and keep looking for that sunglasses.
>>100592
Make fun of her ears to distract her. Also maybe it's best to not get close to the bunny girl with superhuman strength.
>>100626
You decide that making fun of a bunny girl with incredible strength might be a bad idea, so you make fun of her ears from a distance. The girl seems really fucking mad, so she opens her mouth for what looks like a scream, but instead the inside of her mouth starts glowing. Red yells over at you.
>"It looks l-like she's going to do something big, run!"
You jump to your right and Red jumps to his left as the bunny girl shoots a huge beam out of her mouth, partially destroying the wall in front of her (on the other side of the room) and destroying corpses and the floor that it hits. Derek hops in front of her just as the beam settles down and delivers a painful-looking uppercut. The bunny girl is knocked back, but stays on her feet and kicks Derek INTO a wall right beside you...this could be bad.
>>101328
Somebody's hasslin' for a wrasslin'.
Time to make Andy Kaufman proud and bring become the new Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion
>>101328
Maybe we could ask red to distract her while we find the portable wrestling ring (and sunglasses). We will take this girl out, but in our own way.
>>102102
Bunnystein finds your memes unfunny and dated.I chuckled a little bit though.
>>101331
>>101458
You run up to Bunnystein, rolling out of the way of another blast Dark Souls-style. You quickly circle around her and grab her, suplexing the living shit out of the rabbit chick. You get up and strike a pose, Red tosses you some cool sunglasses that were lying around and you put them on, making you look even more badass.
You hear the sound of a neck cracking and look down, the bunny girl seems to have composed herself and is getting up...she does not look happy. She glares at you and quickly delivers a punch that you swear could break the sound barrier, but Red hops in front of you and blocks it with his axe, sending axe spores flying. He turns to you.
>"G-go and take Derek with you! Find your portable wrestling ring and, uh, meet me back here, I'll deal with her!"
The bunny girl puts her hands together in a two-handed fist and smashes them down on the ground, sending you and Red back a bit. The girl gives you an incredibly angry look and finally starts talking.
>"Kill you...I'll kill you!"
She starts to charge up another beam as she talks, her mouth glowing. Red snaps and sets off the spores in the air, basically blowing up the area around the girl. She lands and slowly gets up after being knocked down, looks like that those hits that she's been taking have been taking a toll on her.
>>104380
Believe in the red that believes in us. Find that dam ring or make one if we have to.
>>104709
I agree. Red is bro. Let's find that ring so we can end this fight.Waifu red when?
