iStockPhoto Quest
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You're suddenly this guy.
You want to eat the burger.
What do you do?
>>2895
You're supposed to be on a diet. Your mom prepared all that lettuce for you.
Are you sure you want to eat the burger?
>>2902
youre right lets eat the salad
>>2902
Fuck the burger
set the salad on fire, for it has tainted me enough
>>2902
YOU MOVED TO AMERICA FOR HAMBURGERS, NOT SALAD
>>2918
You go ahead and eat the salad. Sticking your sausage fingers into the bowl you grab yourself a big handfulla load of lettuce and stuff it in your mouth. Tastes pretty bland, but you feel good knowing you're a healthy eater.
From the other side of the kitchen, you can hear Ron say he's proud of you. What do you say to Ron?
>>2953
FUCK YOU RON YOU PIECE OF SHIT! IF I CAN'T EAT THIS BURGER I GUESS I'LL TEAR YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT AND EAT IT RAW
>>2953
Thanks, Ron.
>>2953
put a fucking shirt on
>>2958
Whoa. Stop.
That's not the way quests on this board are supposed to played.
Do I have to eject you from this thread?
>>2953
I ask Ron if he wants to cuddle :3
>>2965
I'm not going anywhere, fuccboi
>>2934
fuck taunted*
>>2970
Come on, bro. Just keep it calm.
There's no reason to shout. Can we just lower the tone? Are we good?
>>2953
thanks Ron
>>2976
QUIET IS NOT ALLOWED HERE. ONLY THE CRASHING OF SOUNDS IS PERMITTED IN THIS WEB-ZONE.
>>2982
Really not impressed with your shenanigans, bro. One more shout outta you and I'm gonna have to press that eject button on your ass.
>>3000
I'LL EJECT SOMETHING ELSE FROM MY ASS YOU PUSSY.
>>3002
Alright, that's it. Out of the thread. Right now.
Sorry to everyone else, the quest will be back on in a moment. There's always that one guy.
>>3006
Never
Okay I kicked that guy out. Let's continue with the story.
Oh no, it's Leonard. Leonard wants to speak with you. He wants to tell you about all of his feelings again.
What do you say to Leonard?
>>3015
I'm busy, Len.
>>3015
fuck of lonurd im on er diet
>>3015
Leonard, get a fucking therapist.
>>3022
>>3020
>>3018
Okay, okay. You don't want to talk about Leonard's feelings. That's understandable. I'm sure he understands, Leonard's a pretty... easygoing... guy.
But...
He's struggling a little bit right now with getting his pants on. You see, Leonard is dyslexic. That means he often buys the wrong size pants whenever he goes clothes shopping.
... Could you maybe help him out? Remember, Leonard's had a pretty rough life.
>>3038
Help him, then leave.
>>3038
no i hab dings dodoo leoner fuck off!
>>3044
Getting the pants on him is a little more difficult than you expected.
Surely you'll stick around for a bit longer to help him out, right?
>>3048
Sorry, Len, but I have to get going.
Also, do we live in a communal home?
>>3054
"Ah, what a relief," Leonard says. "Just got 'em on all the way."
He looks at you intently. "So we're gonna hang out now, right?"
>>3061
I have an appointment, Len.
Goodbye.
>>3069
Wew. What a fucking loser. Yeah, you guys grew up together, and he used to be cool, but now he's just sad ever since he got fat. You'd never say it to his face, but you can't help but think it.
Anyway, you're free to go anywhere now. Because you were lying to Leonard. You didn't really have an appointment.
What would you like to do? As they say, "The world is your oyster."
>>3078
Learn to sew and tie nooses, craft a superhero outfit and use nooses to end your enemies. Call yourself the Nooser.
>>3078
Go find a phonebooth and prank call Leonard, tell him he's fat and worthless and should kill himself.
>>3078
Go to the doctor's office.
>>3095
Alright, you head to the doctor's. He's busy so you gotta wait.
Yep...
Wanna jack off??
>>3117
Go to the bathroom and jack off.
What do we jack it to?
>>3120
Nice, you head to the stalls.
You get yourself situated in the toilet, unzip, pull down pants, etc, (much easier for you than it was for Leonard).
You close your eyes and begin to imagine...
>>3131
A qtpa2t 19~ girl bullying you.
>>3131
That sexy anvil from "The Anvil Hoarder (1930)."
>>3138
Yeah, that sounds good...
But...
For some reason you can't stop thinking of your stepsister, Betty!
No, no, no! Incest is wrong! But you can't stop thinking about her...
Do you go ahead and jack off to your OWN stepsister?
>>3143
Do it.
Is that Ron's girl?
>>3143
Of course. Its only incest if you're fucking her.
jack off to a rule 63 version of your stepsister
>>3146
>>3149
Yeah. She's Ron's daughter.
You try to think about her in a sexy situation...
"Hi anon," she says. "I'm just over here cutting these peppers."
"It's my first time making peppers. You want some?"
Oh shit, this could lead to sex. What do you do?
>>3164
Sure, I'll help!
>>3164
Start thinking of Ron
>>3169
"Heh, thanks anon. But I don't really need any help cutting the peppers, I was just asking if you wanted some. So do you want some peppers?"
>>3176
>mfw getting boner from this
I'd love some peppers!
Intermission
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1461821145784.webm
>>3176
Did you use kosher salt?
>>3176
No! I don't want that.
>>3176
Gee, I wonder what Ron's up to!
