Post Appocalyptic Adventure Thing, part 6
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Oh shit nigger, you're a Wasteland Paladin in some Generic Post Apocalyptic Wasteland. Your mission is to protect the innocents, purge the heretics, kill the evil mutants, yadda yadda all that stuff.
But currently you're fighting the Necrobot boss, the Necroboss: RoboGreg
Roll 1d10, highest roll in a minute since the first reply gets picked.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>193940
punch selves in faces
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>193940
punch self in face
>>193948
a genius plan
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>193952
we had him on the ropes. Beat him up some more!
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>193952
Tranquilize greg
>>193956
YOu're out of ammo. All of them were used in the last thread
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>193960
check your beard
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>193960
check your beards
>>193963
Checking beard
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>193969
pull out lizard freedom fighters
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>193969
find extra tranqs and some candy neat
>>193974
"aloha snackbar"
How did that get in there
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>193978
tell them to attack gregbut they get turned back by a mysterious teenage girl
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>193978
keep searching for neat stuff
>>193982
what mysterious teenage girl
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>193987
the one with the poak bun shirt
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>193987
look for more neat stuff in your beard
>>193990
Rummaging through facial hair
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>193995
oh shit spiders
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194003
FREEDOM FIGHTERS VS SPIDER WAR GO
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194003
spider has extra tranqs for you
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194026
get into position we only get one more shot!
>>194026
oh shit we need more posters here
I miss /v/
>>194031
"Alright dad, I need you to distract him so we can get into position"
said your half-naked son who is the on one in your party with a tranq gun
>>194049
our other dissapointment complains about not being in our old house /v/, use spanking to to distract robot greg
>>194052
You spanked your son
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194057
is he distracted?
>>194060
Your child abuse has distracted him
>>194063
other son in position?
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194063
forgot my roll
is the other dissapointment in position
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194076
shoot him
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194076
Chokeslam son
>>194080
10/10
>>194080
Your son shoots Greg at point blank range.
Roll 2d100 to see if he succeeds or not. First number is the pick, second is results.
1-9: Terrible failure
10-40: Failure
41-100: Success
Rolled 61, 21 = 82 (2d100)
>>194090
Rolled 76, 88 = 164 (2d100)
>>194090
Rolled 44, 12 = 56 (2d100)
>>194090
miss intentionally
>>194094
THANK YOU SAVIOuR
Rolled 56, 94 = 150 (2d100)
>>194090
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>194094
RoboGreg is hit with another tranq. This may end it. But since he's a boss he can have one chance to resist passing out. Which means I will now roll 1d100 to see if he succeeds or not
0-45: Yes
46-100: No
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194109
RIP
>>194109
FUCKING WHAT???
WHERE YOU GET THESE ROLLS
>>194109
aaaaand he failed to kick in his emergency systems.
RoboGreb has been tranq'd
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194115
Extract robogreg back to basebut a girl with a poak bun shirt stops you
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194115
we won! Let's take him back to base!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194115
Suddenly reveal.self to be a skeleton
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194115
Call him a fag
Inject with nano machines then rip his arms off
>>194122
Returning to base
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194132
Backflip
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194132
Suddenly
CLONE TROOPERS fighting the separatists
>>194138
Star Wars will not happen you rhodesian bush niggger
>>194143
Screw you jew
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194144
Punch selves in face and go to the base
>>194152
We are returning to the base
And we puched ourselves in the face
But we didn't do BOTH
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194160
Finally reach the base
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194160
Suddenly Jewish Merchants willing to buy robot
>>194167
You reached the base
AND SCORED ONE FOR YOUR TEAM
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194183
TOUCHDOWN HIS UGLY ROBOT FACE INTO THE GROUND
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194183
Greg wakes up
>>194183
hand robot regarding over to the paladins and get reward
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194199
claim reward from the paladins
>>194205
"Sure, brother. Recieve your reward. FROM ONE OF THESE MYSTERIOUS BOXES, WHICH ONE WILL YOU PICK? AND WHAT MARVERLOUS SECRETS DOES IT HOLD? OOOOOOHHH"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194215
All three nigga
we killed off the necrobots
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194215
All 3 brother
Or do you want me to tell everyone here your SECRET
>>194218
"Not really, that was just one branch of our network"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194215
pick the mystery mystery box
stare him down while doing so
>>194226
"This?"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194234
yes lock in
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194234
The other one
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194238
Yes, that one. Open up nigga
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194238
yes lock in
>>194240
You got: a box
"Treasure it well"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194245
Call out on his bullshit
All boxes were empty
>>194246
"Very well, you got me. They were all empty....EXCEPT FOR ONE! BUT YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHICH!"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194245
it must be a magic box
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194245
give me my real reward Jew
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194249
beat the ever living fuck out of this paladin who is probably a space jew
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194249
Punch his gay ass teeth in and demand answers
You weren't in the Paladin Corps for 98 years to be tricked
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194249
You see a hook nose poking out of his helmet
>>194256
"Yes, I understand your frustration. You may take it out on me. BUT WHICH IS THE REAL ME?! OOOOH"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194271
the one who is talking duh
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194271
ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA
Punch everyone
>>194277
Now roll 2d100 to see if you hit him
0-50: no
51-100: yes
Rolled 50, 92 = 142 (2d100)
>>194285
Rolled 91, 68 = 159 (2d100)
>>194285
you are already dead
>>194291
"g-good...aim..."
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194311
Give us our fucking prize you fuck up
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>194311
Loot body
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194311
Give our real reward now
>>194316
"ffffine, here. Even gift wrapped it for you"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194321
>gift wrapped
HAHAHAHAHA
WHAT A FAGGOT ALMOST LIKE MY SONS
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194321
Open it
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194321
open it holding the other paladin down, might be another trick
>>194323
You got: a punch to the face
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194334
Both sons laugh at you.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194334
Annihilate that nigger paladin
>>194334
yaaaay
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194334
Attack that asshole paladin.
>>194339
He's gone. The punch to your face distracted you enough for him to make his escape
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194343
TRACK HIM DOWN
>>194343
knew this would happen
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194343
Store punch box for later use
>>194345
MEanwhile, RoboGreg is being interrogated
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194356
WHERE'S THE GIRL WITH THE POAK BUN SHIRT
>>194360
Jesus man
>>194362
Hey Scotty
>>194360
"Dead. Like all attempts to recreate the Skeleton Crew of legend"
suddenly, dead
Everyone forgot about necromom i bet she's worried about her sons and failure of a husband
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194366
But they're technically undead already, nigga
how the fuck are you supposed to revive an already undead crew
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194366
shake him shake him like a mother would a crying child.... that's dark even for me...
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194366
Of course those attempts are futile because those skeletons are still alive. They are skeleton for gods sake they cant die.
>>194393
"No, THIS is dark!" then a paladin turned off the lights.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194401
stop being lazy, OP
turn on the lights
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194401
we have a spie!
some one is trying to take greg!
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194401
something very important happens while dark
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194401
meanwhile we train our dissapointments
>>194405
fffffffine
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194415
oh shit greg escaped
ALONG WITH THE BEATEN UP PALADIN
>>194418
ok the fuck is this I think we got some kind of bot roller here
>>194418
"Oh look he escaped"
"And before we can get any substantial info outta him"
"Makes ya think that the whole fight and trying to tranq him was entirely pointless"
"Such is life in the wasteland"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194429
The paladin who turned off the lights was a necrobot
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194429
Well, at least now he's weaker
Grab our two lovable failures, suit them up and let's go on another adventure
Let's kill mutants now
>>194430
"No I'm not"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
well that's pretty convincing, but why did you turn off the lights then?
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194436
Tear off the mask and punch him in the face
>>194436
PURIFY HIM
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194447
Gather sons and go out on an adventure in Palamech
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194447
steal his head to use as a necrobot disguise
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194447
get new aquiptment
>>194449
That thing's in the shop right now. Getting repaired and refueled
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194461
uh
take outtabudgetto then
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194461
find sons having a tea party
>>194469
"Welcome to armory, brother. How can I help?"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
yes I'd like atelier totori pls thank you please
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194477
Give us the biggest dakka
>>194477
SNEAKING SUITS FOR ALL OF US
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194477
I need a necrohunting sword and a necro tracker.
>>194482
"That'd be 500 dollars"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194493
good thing we have 1 million dollars
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194493
Pay in cash and nanomachines
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194493
Check our wallet
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194493
I thought we are charity organization
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194493
how much money do we have?
>>194496
you've been getting a lot of tens tonight son? been counting dice!?
>>194496
It's empty
>>194511
Hide in the box you got and steal it
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194511
wait who's that on the right side of our wallet
>>194517
"Yeah , we don't actually use currency. I just need to trade for the money because I'm running out of toilet paper"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194524
What if we just bring you some toilet paper instead?
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194524
offer him lizardmen freedom fighters as replacement
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194524
Hand him a roll of toilet paper in exchange
>>194528
But you don't have any
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194537
Use sons as toilet paper
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194537
Give it to him anyways
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194537
but your sons do
take it from them while they're in the shitter
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194537
You have your faggy son's speedo
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194537
Pull one out off your ass
>>194541
"Here, have this immaginary roll of toilet paper" you said
"Very well, here is your immaginary new equipment" he answered
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194551
Beat him up and take it from the armory yourself
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194551
Seduce him
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194551
Sell your blonde son
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194551
test new imaginary gun
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194551
Well, I'll stick this imaginary stick up your ass
>>194554
"Shop's closed"
dang, you can't beat him up now
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194561
Punch through it
I bet the shopkeep is a necrobot
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194561
At least you have a nice new imaginary gun.
Time to test it out.
>>194568
YOur fire your immaginary gun at the immaginary super necrobot megabeast
roll 2d100 for results
1-9: extreme failure
10-19: great failure
20-49: failure
50-70: success
71-99: great success
100: Immaginary super necrobot megabeast gets turned into a cute immaginary super necrobot girl
Rolled 32, 45 = 77 (2d100)
>>194575
Rolled 57, 87 = 144 (2d100)
>>194575
Rolled 88, 6 = 94 (2d100)
>>194575
It's only our imaginationturned real
Rolled 10, 79 = 89 (2d100)
>>194575
>>194581
>6
Oh no! Your imaginary bullet missed the imaginary super necrobot megabeast and hit the imaginary nuclear reactor, causing it to have an imaginary meltdown and destroying the immaginary world in a second apocalypse. Everyone you know is dead, including you, imaginarily.
>>194581
Gratz on failing to use your imagination
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194588
The world is now a wasteland. It was your imagination afterall!
>>194594
But the imaginary world is now a double wasteland! But then it aslo exploded, because you somehow missed an imaginary shot
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194601
Stop fooling around
You look senile
Let's kill mutants
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194601
Suddenly Clone troopers show up.. They battling the separatists
>>194603
NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194601
You died from a heart attack 3 posts ago
>>194606
Thank fuck that won't happen
>>194602
Yes, let's stop staring into space like a senile old man and go kill mutants. Also, you should probably re-equip your helmet.
Rolled 50, 84 = 134 (2d100)
>>194575
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194611
dance
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194611
Let your beard flow out from the helmet
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194611
Sell it for cash
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194622
Equip sons too
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194622
Now sell it
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194622
Kill mutants
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194629
Now level up
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194629
You never liked it anyway
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194629
You sold it for a better kvltier helmet
WITH HORNS
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>194629
remember when we started as a necromancer then ended up a greased up paladin? good times
I like this adventure more than the others 2bh
>>194637
I miss our kungfu adventure so much unintended and intentional racism.
>>194641
I like it because of the family relations we have
and the MGS references
Man, it was a good idea I gave the son a mullet and an eyepatch
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>194643
Now back to the story
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194643
Suddenly Clone troopers fighting separatists
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194643
Now do a dance
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194643
Spend all points in charm
We'll become a charming old man
Sean Connery-tier
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194643
allocate all exp in luk
Lock in
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194656
Burn it down.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194656
Go kill the mutants
>>194657
YOu've put all your points into Charm, for all the good that'll do.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194664
Find a raider base to purge
>>194666
oh boy satan gets the lead
>>194666
The map of the area might help you in that regard
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194672
Go southeast
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194672
Scribble dicks on it
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194672
wait what's that secret cave there on the map? zoom in!
>>194673
And so you did
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194679
The fruits of your loins are following you
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194679
Space Jews AMBUSH
>>194681
While also carrying some fruits
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194689
more like rotten fruits
such dissapointments
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194689
You call them fruits
Because they are fruits
And they're carrying fruits
>>194692
"dad pls"
>>194692
now dis nigga, where you getting these rolls? You got a shop some where?
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>194700
moon walk to where you going keeping a dissapointed look to your two sons
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>194700
Smoke a joint
Let some time pass
We'll attack the raiders at night
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>194712
You smoked too much. Tripping balls
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>194712
A girl appears before you
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>194712
Suddenly hungry feral wolves.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>194726
You see 2 fruits attacking 6 vegatables.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>194726
Vivid memories of the past and future come to you
They say "hey fag whats up"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>194734
The tomato thinks about defecting
