Wizard Quest, faggots!
You are currently reading a thread in /qst/ - Quests
Rules
1) Roll 1d10 to see what happens. Highest roll in TWO (2) minutes happens. Trips and higher on a current roll may override it.
2) No re-rolls.
3) You can do magic, but only simple stuff. As the game goes on, your skills will progress. No teleporting yet.
4) Have fun, burn shit or be a nice fellow.
You start off just outside the academy, guided only by some weird ass voice in your head that commands you to do things.
You wander off towards a nearby town and see some people wandering about, but first..
What's your name? Gender? Alignment?
Rolled 1 (1d10)
Race: Awakened baboon (no name)
Gender: Male
Alignment: CE
>>174932
We humies, senpai. But what's our name? :O
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>174961
Hitler
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>174919
Name him Faggot or Cockweasel.
Preferably Cockweasel.
>>174990
>>175023
It appears you are named Hitler. How could you have ever forgotten? You feel naked without your mustache, but that'll be back within a month or so of manly cultivation.
You wander into town and spot some shitty rundown buildings.
>Enter the tavern and see if you can ask around there?
>Check the community board for any cool things
>Talk to a wench who looks quite comely.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>175218
Check the community board for cool shit.
>>175330
To the board! You walk over, trying not to trip over your long ass robes. You scan it with a critical eye, but alas, you have shitty vision.
There's three things you can do, it seems.
>Kill two bandits who have been harassing travelers on the road.
Reward: Ignite
>Retrieve a necklace from a tomb.
Reward: Blinding Flash
>Look for some medicinal plants to help some lady cure her husband.
Reward: Lesser Heal
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>175485
>Look for some medicinal plants to help some lady cure her husband
>>175586
Aye aye, Anon!
You rip the poster off the wall, quickly taking in everything. These plants are located to the west, in large forest that's known to be inhabited by bears and other wild animals. Without further ado, you march away into the forest. The Sun appears to be setting though..
>Light a fire using a spell -2 mana
>Try to start one like a normal survivor-esque person
>Keep going! Maybe you'll find it before night falls.
Lemme try
>>175651
kek. Put the 1d10 in the options, amigo.
Dice + 1d10
Dice+1d10
If this doesnt work I give up
>>175656
Ok. I typed 1d10
>>175664
Okay. Put
dice+1d10 in the options field.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
I bet its case sensetive.
>>175672
MOTHERFUCKING DUMBSHIT CODING! IT WAS CASE SENSITIVE!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>Try to start one like a normal survivor-esque person.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
Keep going.
>>175735
Sorry I was gone, lads!
You sat down and grabbed some sticks, rubbing them together. You get about ten minutes in before you realize you forgot how to start a fire. You immediately regret not reading books in the library about how to start one.. Or did you?
Roll a 1d10 to see if you can remember how to start a fire.
0-5 - no fire
6-10 - fire
Rolled 9 (1d10)
Burn baby, burn!
>>177634
AND SO IT DID!
You rubbed those goddamn sticks with a speed and ferocity that matched the speed at which you jerked it to that hot witch who was in one of your spellcasting lessons.
Fire appears, and by the lord is it nice, warm and toasty. You sit your ass down with your back to a tree.
Although, there may be things that will be attracted to your light.
>Dim the fire a little bit.
>Drag some bushes and branches around your little campsite to secure it
>Jerk it to that hot witch
>Jerk it to that hot witch and use the resulting "explosion" to dim the fire.
One of these days we shall obtain this witch as a wife!
>>177645
You take off your robe and drop those rough ass underpants that those old wizard dudes gave you. You stroke your two inch micro-dick and think of that hot witch who's probably getting some from that chad wizard in the class.
It takes you two seconds to 'explode' and the fire is dimmed as a result. However, you hear rustling from the bush..
Roll a 1d100 to see what it is.
Rolled 44 (1d100)
Here we go!
>>177675
It was the female witch. She seemed to have seen the whole ordeal, along with Chad wizard and nine other guys. They all laugh at you and wander away.
>Cry
>Try to kill them
>Go sleep and be cuck
>Go sleep and be cuck
We're too weak to defeat chad and his lackeys!
Rolled 1 (1d10)
cry
dice+1d10
Whoops forgot to roll
Rolled 10 (1d10)
And I'm an idiot
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>177688
>>Cry
That pain...!!!
Be a cuck
>>177695
You cry yourself to sleep, spaghetti spilling out of our pockets as we drift off. Fuckin' hot witches and Chad and his cool wizardry degree..
You wake up in the morning, the fire having burnt out a long time ago. You rub off the cum stains you got on your robes and hurry off. You know what the plants look like, but they're surprisingly rare. No matter the dude's dying.
Roll a 1d100 to see if you can find that shit.
0-50 = spooky shit
51-80 = less spooky shit
81-100 = plants!
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>178693
1 get
Rolled 3 (1d100)
Super roll!
>>178702
DUN DUN DUN, BITCHSTICKS!
A cougar leaps out of the brush, snarling at you!
>INCINERAAATE! -use Fireball, -2 mana-
>SMACK IT WITH THE STAFF (you're hella weak tho)
>DOMESTICATE THAT BITCH!
You guys can decide what to do.
>>178983
>DOMESTICATE THAT BITCH!
>>178983
>DOMESTICATE THAT BITCH!
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>179120
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>179120
Reroll if possible, if not then sorry
Rolled 14 (1d100)
Behold, my ultimate dice roll
>>179135
Our hero
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>179120
Since we probably can't reroll,
>>179223
He had a sick roll, but using Beginner's Luck, your roll was boosted by 25. Roll became 93.
- - -
The cougar nears you, preparing to strike.. But it nuzzles your hand instead of biting it. It appears to have taken a liking to you! What do you name this fine specimen?!
>>179276
Steph
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>179276
Azorel
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>179276
Cuck
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>179293
Wrong dice
>>179291
Supporting this
>>179291
And so Azorel was his name. You pat your cougar lovingly and set off into the woods. You soon come to realize that maybe this cougar can sniff the medicinal plants out. You order it to do so.
Roll a 1d100 to see if it can find them plants.
0-50 = It finds and then eats the plants.
51-80 = It finds one plant
81-100 = It finds the motherload.
>>179509
Whoops. For Beginner's Luck, you guys can choose to use it twice more. Forgot to edit it out.
Rolled 68 (1d100)
Here's hoping for a great roll.
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>179509
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>179509
Find dat weed stash, Az!
>>180129
G O D T I E R
Azorel finds a bunch of motherfucking leafy greens that are probably what that lady needs to help her husbando. You grab a bunch of the shit and waddle back towards civilization.. But you forgot the way!
Roll a 1d100 to see what you run into on the way back.
0-70 = Spooky shit
71-100 = Non-spooky shit.
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>181640
>>181678
You can wait for someone here to roll another, or we can go with some SUPER spooky shit that'll probably get you or Azorel killed.
Rolled 1 (1d1)
>>181678
I approve of this roll.
Rolled 36 (1d100)
Here we go!
Rolled 232 (1d666)
>>181678
All my low rolls
Rolling for spoops level
>>181678
>>181866
You guys ran into some seriously spooky shit.
- - -
Chad jumps out of the brush with two of his lackeys, laughing at you. "Hey look! It's Hitler! Still jerking it, fag?"
"reeeeeeeEEEEE" you reply.
"What the fuck is he saying? Let's jump him!"
------
You're not too worried. They were never good at magic, only at using physical strength to overpower people. It's time to show them who's the real cuck now.
>what do?
Chad: 35 HP
Lackey 1: 14 HP
Lackey 2: 14 HP
Rolled 179 (1d666)
>>183870
Explode their kidneys
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>Throw a fireball at Lackey 1
>Command Azorel to use tear on Lackey 2
>Haul ass out of there.
>>185452
Lackey 1 gets lit the fuck up by a blast of fire. You doubt he'll still get girls with that look. He's like Two-Face, but he's all ugly now.
Lackey 2 gets his groin torn up by Azorel, and you doubt he can impress girls with that new little ruined spot. You call for Azorel and you both run the fuck away from Chad.
Roll a 1d100 to see how well you avoid this fucker.
Rolled 7 (1d100)
+25 if under 60 please
>>186554
Still want to use Beginner's Luck? You'll still get fucked, but less so.
>>187227
I think that's the best option I guess. That leaves us with just 1 extra use correct?
>>187231
Aye, sir.
>>187246
Sounds good then.
Let's get rekt!
>>187261
Chad grabs you and punches you in the face! You lose 15 HP in the process, and you are now pinned to the ground.
However, he's just sitting on your chest and your hands are free. Azorel's probably around here somewhere.
What do?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>Unleash the heavenly fists of fury
>Command Azorel to use Tear on Chad
>>187475
That means you punch yourself though. Fists of Fury was a joke, but okay.
- - -
You slug Chad in the solar plexus, making him fall off, gasping. You're fairly dazed from his hit, but not as bad as Chad as Azorel lays into him. Chad flails and knocks your cougar off, bleeding from multiple wounds.
He seems incredibly shocked. "H-Hitler! I was kidding, bro! Chill! Let me go, dude!" He stammers, stumbling backwards.
>There is no honor in surrendering! Go for the kill-
>Yeah sure bro, go fuck the hot witch again.
>mehoy miboi
Chad: 12 HP, [Bleed, -3 HP every round]
Rolled 10 (1d10)
Write-in
"Can't you see Chad? This isn't a game. You always picked on me in Wizarding class, and then you had the gall to laugh at me and then jump me. One of these days your witch girlfriend will see through your facade, and on that day I will ask her out, but before that..."
>Command Azorel to tear Chad's genitals and then leave to finish your quest.
>>187738
Jesus Christ.
` ` `
The wind begins to blow dramatically, and the Sun glints off your eyes, giving you a glowing eye look. Your wizard hat and robes flow softly in the wind, and subtitles appear on the screen.
"Can't you see Chad? This isn't a game. You always picked on me in Wizarding class, and then you had the gall to laugh at me and then jump me. One of these days your witch girlfriend will see through your facade, and on that day I will ask her out, but before that..."
You pick up one of Chad's books as Azorel devours his genitals. You walk away, listening to him scream as you cackle. "baka."
- - -
You return to the village, bruised and injured. Upon delivering the book to the lady, her now healed husband (who turns out to be a priest) teaches you Lesser Heal!
You take this new knowledge and go sit in a free room in the tavern (people are scared of you, so they let you have it for free).
The book appears to be rather ragged and singed at the edges, and you might recognize the ashen sigil on the front..
Roll a 1d100 to see if this is a pyromancy tome.
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>187845
Unfortunately, it's just a really burnt book. Chad probably burnt it. What an asshole. You feel exhausted both physically and mentally, and so slip into a deep deep slumber.
You wake up the next day and find Azorel urinating on a half-eaten corpse, and not just any corpse, but the tavern owner.
w-wat do.
>Make a mental note to procure some fresh meat so this doesn't happen again.
>Try to sneak out and find the beautiful witch.
>>187901
You make a mental note to buy some fresh meat for Azorel before opening your door. No one seems to have noticed the owner's absence at all, and you sneak out of the tavern. Azorel pads along beside you daintily, nuzzling your leg and leaving fur everywhere.
You see a girl who looks like the hot witch, but is she really?
Roll a 1d100 to see.
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>187934
It's erm.. That lady's daughter. You know, the lady who had you get those plants? Yeah, her.
She's a cute thing. About five foot four with B cup tits and a nice round ass. You heard from the lady that she was a priestess at some paladin academy, and she was good at magic.
Approach her?
>>191091
bomp.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>191091
Approach her and ask if she's down with eugenics
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>Ask her if she's seen the beautiful witch, and if she knows her.
>>191384
She blinks and stares at you, blushing furiously. Obviously no paladin has asked her out yet since they're all righteous. This must be the first time someone's flirted with her like this.
"I.. I don't know.. I'm a p-priestess.."
>>191463
"O-Oh, I think I do. She was expelled from our academy for whoring herself out to multiple paladins. What does she look like?"
Roll a 1d100 to see if you can bed her.
Roll another 1d100 and give her a description of your waifu. Hopefully she isn't a slut.
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>191788
Ay baby, how 'bout some fuck
Rolled 8, 35 = 43 (2d100)
By the way, can I just say that this may actually be my favorite quest? I really want to thank you OP for this amazing adventure! (This is not sarcastic. I am being serious)
+25 to description plox :D (if possible)