Shitty Pain Quest
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And there you are. A young screw up of a knight. Kind of. You were originally a thief from the Kingdom of High Acre and you were stumbling along the road after a drunken bender and a night of debauchery to do some thieving when you found some old dude. He said something about divine intervention and the hero of legend or some nonsense but you saw a set of full plate and a bunch of money to feed yourself. Your bag wasn't big enough to store it so you put it on. He also left a satchel which was really worn out but glowing faintly. Plot twist: you can't take it off for some reason. His body all but dissipated, you can only remove the helmet and the crotch plate it seems. Bummer. What's the plan? I'll answer any questions posed but rolls of 7 or 5 determine the next course of action on a d10.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
Look inside the satchel
dice+1d10
Drown
>>113136
Nice try
>>113131
You open the satchel and see a few things. There's a sword here. A long sword and it glows blue. Might be magic. Fuck that shit. A hooker played you once by magically hiding her penis until it was too late once. You've been scarred since. A shield is in here with a weird eagle symbol. Then there are three rations in here marked for different meals in the day. Also blue. Also triggering..
>>113215
You're also weirded the fuck out by the fact that these items are randomly floating inside the bag, which is bigger on the inside.
>>113215
This suit is fucking sweaty. Like really sweaty.
>>113362
Take up sword and board and find a town.Try to avoid your inevitable PTSD hooker attack.
>>113362
Stab your armor repeatedly with the sword in an attempt to get it off. Do not hold back.
