You are in a forest, what do?
>>101846
Run towards the nearest cliff and jump off.
Who knows what you'll find down there.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>101846
Dont step on that snake. Animal lovers will be pissed
You find a cliff, jump off, and die.
You are in Hell now, what do?
Open your bag, check pockets then try and find a path
>>101887
Czech backpack.
Walking through hell you almost squish a snake, but thankfully you notice in time. Crisis averted.
>>101903
tame the snake and use it as mount
Examination of your backpack reveals...A bible!
In your pockets you find 1 truck.
>>101903
A talking snake? In hell?
Ask the snake why it lied about the apple and if it feels bad about tricking eve
>>101934
Take Snek on a road trip
You strip the straps from your backpack and tie them around the snake. You sit on his back, and oddly he seems amenable.
Away you go through the inferno.
>>101967
rape the snake
>>101934
I am religious enough to carry nothing but a bible and the clothes on my back, not religions enough to go to heaven.
>>101967
Go on a quest in search of the dark lord.
You ask the snek why he lied to Eve. He is disappointed you believed something you read in a book written by Jews.
He says he will tell you truth about all of that when you get to Hell city.
>>102014
i like this snek
>>102014
Suddenly dragons
>>102014
go to heaven city
The snek says you are the nicest guy he's met so far in Hell, and that you should watch out for weirdos.
A sudden urge seizes you to rape the snake. You take down your pants and grab him by the neck, he cries and begs you to stop. You rape the snek.
>>102053
cum in sneak's pussy
>>102053
Czech for bites.
Having raped your new friend, you head off to find the dark lord who rules these parts.
>>102074
SWEAR TO GOD
>>102074
It looks like we abandoned the Bible.
But... I liked Snek. :^(
>>102074
Ask Snek if he's getting enough air.
Just then dragons appear, and they are not very happy with what you did to snek.
>>102074
Gib the snek a kiss and hug and tell it that's how humans show love to each other.
>>102090
You rape the dragons so hard they turn into dragongirls
>>102090
Use snake as hostage to negotiate getting some sweet fucking dragon loot.
>>102085
In more ways than one
nice ID
>>102090
GET RAPED BY DROGONS
>>102090
Promise to marry the snek and have thousands of babby snek kids.
>>102113
I like this idea. Then you can raise a whole fucking army of Sneks, and nobody has to be any the wiser about what you did to Mamma Snek.
>>102119
Problem is the snek's a dude.
>>102126
We'll use hell magic to combine our life forces together to make a baby portal.
You check to see if snek's alright. You conclude the snek is, but dragons aren't buying it.
>>102141
Rape the shit outta the dragons
>>102141
Gib a kiss to bring snek back to life. That always in the fairytales.
>>102141
offer your ass to dragons
You explain to snek this is how humans love each other, but snek is kill.
You hear the dragons discussing raping you.
Offer a desperate prayer to whatever hell-lord-demon reigns here, and hope he can save your ass from being demolished from the dragons.
give them your truck
dragons love to fuck trucks and cars that's common knowledge
>>102161
Make small talk with the dragons in the hopes that your anus will be spared.
>>102161
Stretch out your arms, close your eyes with a smile and let it happen.
>>102161
Give a piece of your soul to Snek. It lives again as bro snek!
You order the dragons to submit their anuses for raping. They look pretty shocked.
>>102161
>hit them with the bible
Use Dragonrend and rape.
>>102186
>Try to seduce them by touching your nipples
Realizing the futility of resistance, you offer yourself to the dragons.
>>102200
We're really in for it now.
>>102200
Protect your virginity by shoving the bible in your anus
>>102200
We get saved by Ronald Reagan
>>102200
Think of nice things. Then when they are aboutto rape you you turn and rape them instead when they have their defence low
>>102200
get pregnant, because this is how thing work in hell
Quick get in your truck
As the first dragon approaches, you pull the bible you've been saving out of your ass. You throw it at just the last minute and....it's ineffective.
>>102229
Pray for a miracle and think of happy things.
>>102229
Start yelling "Sieg Heil" and hope nazis would come for help. You are in hell there should be a lot of nazis there
Just then Satan shows up and he says there's been a mistake. You were actually supposed to be sent to Heaven city!
He's glad he caught you in time.
Those dragons are mean bullys!
Just ignore them and they will go away, they are only doing it for attention.
>>102244
Hide the dead Snek in the hopes that Satan doesn't see it.
>>102244
Take hitler whit you to heaven city then build the 4th reich whit hitler at heaven then be allies whit satan then finish off god whit nukes
>>102244
Take Snek with tyou.
God summons you to heaven. You're kind of disappointed because you're a giant faggot.
>>102244
The Snek comes with you.
>>102266
Now you can marry snek.
>>102266
First: you are one motherfuckin good story teller
Second: have a affair whit eva braun
Offer god a truck and a dead snek if he brings you back to life
>>102266
>explore heaven city
You're in heaven now. You try to marry snek, but you can't prove you both have aryan blood going back 3 generations. What do?
>>102313
Rape eva braun
>>102313
Make Snek your permeant lover. Makes up for raping. Also, explore heaven.
You wand to trade your snek and truck to God for a second shot at life, but you can't find him. You start exploring Heaven city and find a park.
>>102313
Give up on him and find a waifu while riding your truck
>>102331
Ask Snek if he's still mad at all.
>>102331
Play in the park with Snek.
In the park you spot Mao feeding ducks.
>>102331
trow turck at that plane and keep raping sneak
>>102331
Try to sell Snek, you don't need him anymore
push him in
>>102346
get mao raped by ducks
>>102346
Feed ducks bread too.
>>102346
Yell THE JAPANESE ARE HERE.
>>102346
You're very hungry, try to steal some food from the ducks
Formally introduce Snek to the ducks.
You drive off in search of waifus.
You ask Snek if there are any hard feelings, and Snek says he plans on eating you whole later in retribution.
You wonder if you can still die in heaven.
>>102375
commit sucide find out if you can die
>>102375
Have wild hot sex with Snek in truck. Could attract a girl.
>>102375
Slap snek for saying that.
Tell snek you're sorry, but the voices in your head keep telling you to rape the snek.
>>102423
Give snek to mao
>>102423
Tell Snek that it's better to our lover than be in hell with dragon cocks raping you.
>>102423
just rape the senk to the death and trow it away
and lets found out where the eva is
While enjoying snek's nice roadhead, you tell Snek about your plan to see if you can die.
You tell Snek you will crash into the reichstag. Snek knows he has to act fast if he will stop you.
Snek keeps good on his promise and eats you. Thus he prevents you from crashing into the reichstag. You are now in snek, What do?
>>102423
GO back and mow down Mao.
>>102476
Rape the snek from the inside
>>102476
Tickle Snek
>>102476
Did snek swallow the truck, too? If so, drive through snek's anus on your way to rekill Mao.
>>102476
Change of plans, try to kill yourself by going to the stomach
In snek an apparition of Donald Trump appears and tells you to kill Mao.
You ask Trump how you will escape snek to perform this feat.
>>102498
Ask him where will Mao go if he's already dead, and why would you do such task.
Maybe he offer you some american waifus in exchange
>>102498
He gives you superpowers
>>102498
he teleports you outside.
Trump tells you to use the truck and drive out, but you decide you're going to walk to the stomach and finish your suicide.
>>102532
Keep on walking.
>>102532
Thinking that you may die and end up in hell to be raped by dragons fills you with Determination
As you walk away, taking breaks to tickle snek, Trump grants you the power to summon steaks at will.
You run for what seems like hours, only the thought of dragon dicks keeps you going.
You are angry that God destroyed the greatest moment in your life in one action, and are determined to make it back to Hell.
>>102567
Snek's body is longer on the inside, better travel on the truck
You turn around to grab your truck, and run into a group of soap snakes.
>>102612
Throw steaks at them
>>102612
>Rape
>All at once
Soap snake A is distracted.
>>102612
Wow, how lucky. Do nothing and try to get killed
You just can't stop raping snakes. This will surely hinder your efforts to retrieve your truck, but I'm not sure you'd have it any other way.
>>102661
How much stamina do we have? When we're done, take sneks with you to the stomach.
>>102661
It's not the same. You miss Snek, ask the soap snakes if they know a way out
As you rape the sneks an unknown figure approaches from behind.
>>102683
Oh fuck! Seduce it with our snek charms or throw steaks.
>>102683
Ignore him and keep enjoying the moment
It's not the same. You ask a soap snake if it knows how to get out.
The snake says the soap snake king might know.
>>102710
Ask the unknown figure if he knows anything about the soap snake king
>>102710
Tell the soap snake to bring you to its king.
Also I really enjoy your art, OP.
Turning about you notice the king of the soap snakes, you attempt to seduce him by throwing steaks.
>>102742
Rape the king
>>102742
Keep seducing him.
>>102742
Steal the axe and kill yourself
While the soap snake king stands amazed that he managed to cut a steak midair - you crawl up behind him for a rape.
>>102787
Put it in.
>>102787
Put it in gently and tenderly.
Right as you get in range for a rape, you realize you'd rather take this opportunity to get back to Hell. You grab the soap snake king's axe and plunge it into your chest.
>>102787
Rape him and become the new king
>>102815
Wait for something to happen
God and the Devil watch in vexation as your soul falls back to Hell
>>102833
Make a deal. Tell them to revive you so they don't need to be bother by you.
The Devil asks "What's the big idea? Why are you back in Hell wherest thou dost not belong?"
>>102854
Just to answer a question. Can you bring me back to life? Also, snek, too! I miss raping him. ;_;
You ask the Devil to grant you your life back so that you will stop bothering him and God.
The Devil considers your offer...
>>102871
Take the hellish D to sweeten the deal.
He grants your wish, but curses you to never be raped by dragons in life or in death.
He also transforms snek into a poltergeist to haunt you all of your waking hours. He is ephemeral so he cannot be raped at all.
You get revived without a dick. Instead you have an unfunny comedian between your legs
>>102893
>>102893
Say you also wish to rape non-snek ghosts.
You wake up in your room. What do?
>>102907
Get some clothes and find some fun things to do.
>>102907
Pack some supplies and go into a forest.
>>102916
Let's go to the jungle instead.
>>102919
I'm okay with this.
You realize that in addition to the Devil's other tricks, he got one last curse in there at the end.
Your genitals have been replaced with human garbage.
>>102935
Go to the jungle witch to cure yourself.
You grab clothes, get dressed, pack supplies and run out the door. You run off in search of a jungle.
You run for a while in the same general direction, but no jungle in sight.
>>103001
Ask for directions or find a map
Having run out of stamina you stop to rest. Under a street light you find three strange characters. Do you ask one for directions?
>>103041
Ask the skeleton. He looks nice.
>>103041
flash your comedian at them
You ask the friendly skeleton if he knows how to get to the nearest jungle. He seems a little skittish, but he informs you that it's six streets south, and 9 streets west of your current location.
He tells you to make sure you let them now Rick Skeltal sent you.
>>103083
Thanks, Mr.Skeltal
>>103083
Thank him and be off to the jungle.
>>103083
He bones you in the comedian.
As you run off you expose your shame to the trio.
>>103127
To the forest! The entrance is blocked by a bouncer in sad clown make up. What can we do?
>>103127
Go 9 streets south and 6 streets west, because having amu schumer instead of a penis causes you to lose your innate sense of direction
Something looks off, but you're sure this is where the skeltal said to go.
>>103152
Go inside and see if the climate in the b̶a̶r̶ jungle would be appropriate for showing off your comedian
>>103152
Let see if there is any witches.
You aren't sure why skeltal sent you here, but you decide to enter to ask someone else for directions/ You try to enter the establishment, but a clown exits the building and stands in your way.
He says you don't look 21.
>>103194
show him your comedian "does this look 21?"
>>103194
Show your comedian.
The clowns face is now happy
>>103194
Show him we need help and show fake but believable ID.
The clown apologizes and admits he is a huge fan of your work "Ms. Schumer"
He stands aside and allows you to enter.
>>103246
Keep your Schumer out as you enter
>>103246
Your comedian eats someone's food. Shes a landwhale
You are now in Dragon's den, what do?
>>103283
tell them the skeleton sent you
>>103283
Pull down pants and dare the dragons to rape you
>>103283
Tell them Mr. Rick Skeltal sent you
The dragons tell you not to worry, and that Skeltal will receive his reward, but for the time being they are going to finally make good on that rape they promised.
>>103324
Prepare your Schumer
>>103324
In their language "rape" means adoption. The dragons are now your parents
You hold your eyes shut and expose your Schumer. The dragons screech in terror and pain; they transform into stone, but yet agony is still fresh on their petrified faces.
>>103362
Steal their wallets
>>103362
Clown makes out with Schumer
>>103370
this then kill him and steal his clothes
>>103370
Literally inside amy schumer
>>103362
Quick question OP, does amy schumer now have our dick as a face?
Once the dragons have turned to stone you quickly fetch their wallets. You are ecstatic, and so is the clown currently going down on your Schumer.
Snek is upset that you get away with everything.
>>103428
Police arrive
>>103428
Thanks to the clown's help, you're cured of that human garbage curse.
One of the dragons had a copy of vanity fair in his wallet.
>>103483
Put it in your pocket. Might come in handy later on.
>>103469
And now you proside to rape ghost snake somehow
with the dragons dead, and despoiled, you decide to slay the clown and strip his clothes.
>>103516
Clown is a lvl 90 bouncer. He counters you
You try to rape snek, but you remember the Devil's words "The snek is ethereal and can't be raped."
>>103530
You counter that with your schumerschlong
Snek laughs at you and points out that you don't even have a dick to rape with anymore.
>>103589
Rape the snek with your eyes
Snek feels bad for you, and projects a map to the jungle. Maybe you'll find that witch after all.
>>103635
Snek leaves to start a lets play channel on youtube
Put a rock into your schumer
>>103635
go to jungle
Realizing you cannot physically assault Snek, you settle for raping him with your eyes.
>>103672
Hawt
rock in schumer thanks
Snek decides to leave to try other pursuits. He says he will be back to haunt you after he gets 5 subscribers.
Your Schumer keeps making unfunny jokes about the vagina she doesn't even have anymore. You grab the nearest rock and shove it in her mouth to shut her up.
>>103692
Fly to the jungle.
You tell the last dragon in the dragon den, that if he doesn't fly you to the jungle, you will turn him to stone like the others.
He agrees to take you wherever you want quickly, but he begs you to refrain from showing him the abomination in your pants.
>>103765
Oh Fug. More skeletons
>>103765
Give him a kiss to make him less scared.
>>103782
A long, wet, sloppy kiss.
ask dragon if he would like to have dinner then knocked out unconscious then raped
As you are talking with the dragon bartender, Skeltal walks in. He came for his reward. He sees the petrified dragons and dead clown lying on the floor. He's shocked to see you are still alive, and even more shocked that you've managed to kill the dragons. The bartender entreats Skeltal to run before it's too late.
>>103851
Tackle the skeleton and rape him until his skull comes off. Use it as a pretty necklace
You kiss Bartender dragon and attempt to comfort Skeltal.
You lunge at Skeltal having decided to rape Skeltal's bones with Schumer's moouth,
>>103926
You miss and land on your Schumer, bruising into a Whoopie.
>>103926
You succeed and show that flesh is the best.
>>103926
Skeltal decides to consent, not making it rape. This saddens you.
Skeltal tried to run, but he was too slow.
You thrust his radius and ulna into Schumer, this almost makes up for missing out on Dragon dick.
>>103999
Nice trips.
Schumers mouth is like her career: a bottomless pit. Me. Skeltal is gone forever as he is obsorbed. Sadly our hero cant feel any arousal from this.
>>103999
We keep Skeltal's head. his words of wisdom shall guide us well.
The more you thrust, the deeper Skeltal's bones go, the more he begins to enjoy himself.
Skeltal says "Not bad at all."
Skeltal digs deeper and deeper until he disappears.
>>104094
Now off to the jungle.
>>104094
god damn it shumer
You put your clothes back and turn around to find...Bartender Dragon has escaped!
How will you get to the jungle now?
>>104125
By reanimating one of those stone dragons. If Schumer can turn them then she can undo it.
You try to use Schumer to reanimate the dragons, but it seems like they are getting even harder.
>>104199
Darn. Well, pull up your pants and find a car to drive.
You leave The Dragon's den having killed 2 dragons, one clone and a skeleton.
You search for a car.
>>104224
find a barrel of oatmins and bring it with you on your journey
You look for a car, but can't seem to find one anywhere.
>>104250
Work as a hoe to raise money for a car.
You do manage to find some oats however.
>>104267
have sex with oatmins
You strip to prostitute yourself, and Skeltal falls out. He begs to be let back in, but you explain he has to pay just like everybody else now.
Oats have to pay too.
A very wealthy man appears before you!
A wealthy man gives you "the look", you know exactly what he wants.
>>104415
Give him what he wants but money first.
Money first then slap the hat off his head and run like a little girl.
>>104415
Pose seductively.
He pays you $8,000 Cash.
>>104501
Take it and do the deed.
You take his money and flick his hat. Surprisingly he seems pleased with this.
>>104561
fuck him crazy
shove that aristocrat cock down your schumer
You scamper off with his money.
>>104624
no
go back and fuck him faggot
>>104624
Put the hat on Schumer to hide your shame. Now off to the car dealership to buy a car.
On second thought, maybe you let him get away a little too easy.
>>104674
TWIZZLE HIS ELEGANT MOUSTACHE
You command Schumer to use her absorption attack, she sucks richcuck in!
Your Schumer's attack is going out of control!
>>104782
Plug up Schumer with the skull
Schumer's consuming everything, at this rate nothing will be left!
The end. Sorry I had to end it, it's getting late here and my hand is numb.
>>104827
Thank you for running. It was fun.
>>104827
10/10 would be sucked into the Schumer singularity again
>>104827
Was fun. You should consider running again some time.
>>104827
Hilarious shit, man. Good quest
>>103722
thanks
>>104827
Was funny. Thanks.
Rolled 60 (1d100)
Yeah