An intruder has broken into your house. You only have five minutes to get help. However, in your sheer panic, you only think to reach out to 4chan for assistance. How do you save yourself?
>>521836
You can't.
Post on S4S, they are nicest board.
>dick out
>>>/pony/
>fap
>as the intruder enters the room you make a screeching pony call
>the battle becomes psychological
I guess I would make a thread asking how to save myself on /qa/ and then do whatever the repl-......OP, are you...
>>521845
>implying I can last 5 minutes fapping to my pony folder
>start a thread on >>>/:/
>show to intruder
>intruder instantly collapses, goes into cardiac arrest, and grows 73 tumors
>show him a picture of a frog
>intruder implodes from the sheer terminal 7
>>521836
it's not possible to get help in 5 minutes unless you live right by a police station or something
>>521845
this idea could be viable though. Go to /trash/ on a tablet or something and go to the pony porn and leave it in plain sight. When the intruder is inevitably disgusted and baffled, I will take out my samurai star and lacerate him repeatedly until he leaves.
>>521836
Why don't you have a gun?
>>521930
legally I can't own one due to my past commitment to a mental health institution for higher learning
>>521933
lol owned
