After a fitful night of dreams, an impetuous piercing cry emanates from your bedside, wrenching you from your slumber and throwing you, uncaring, into the real. You make out your surroundings. This is your bedroom. You lay under your covers, surrounded by posters of your favourite pop star. Everything appears to be as it was the night before, except for your stomach, which is now empty and nauseated.
It's morning.
Your PDA delivers you a motivational quote.
>"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
>>Some bumper-sticker and not Gandhi
What do you do?
Rub some lotion on my hands. They're freaking dry.
>>425573
You have no lotion in your room. The closest lotion is in the hall bathroom. Are you really ready to leave your bedroom yet?
While you mull this over, you kick off the covers.
Get naked
>>425567
Quest threads belong on /tg/.
Well, they don't belong there, but that's where you're supposed to post them. Nowhere else.
>>425579
This is a blue board, Anon.
>>425582
That's an opinion that you have. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
Oh hey, you're that one poster with the really cute art style. I like this.
>>425584
>That's an opinion that you have
That's the rules cuckboi. If you don't like it take it up with the mods
>>425608
You looked smarter back when people thought that you had an opinion. Now you're just a person who is mistaken about rules that don't really exist. /qa/ has no written rules aside from global rules, (with a lax enforcement of GR8 apparently) and /tg/ has no such rule stating that quest threads belong there and only there. Sorry.
Wear bike shorts and sports bra
>>425614
You don't own a sports bra, but you do have your training bra. You don't know how you feel about this thing but you have to wear it because one of these days you're gonna have real boobs and if you don't get used to a bra by then, you're gonna be in trouble.
You always wear spats under your skirt. This is a no brainer.
The obvious next step is to get something to eat to counteract the HP degeneration. I'm assuming that's the cause. Eat something super tasty. Eggs. Or take a shower, showers can be good for the hitpoints. Sexy showers.
>>425637
Better: Eat eggs while taking a shower.
tbqh, Risk needs a fucking board also. Might as well make /fg/.
Check the bed drawer.
Wash eggs.
wosh u egg
egg
>>425625
(Forgot my trip and then accidentally fell asleep. Sorry. Back.)
>>425637
>>425645
>>425696
>>425698
>>425706
>>425817
You do really need to start your morning routine. Probably shouldn't have started to get dressed already, but it is what it is. You add "Shower" and "Eat an Egg" to your quest log.
>>425691
This is where you keep your folded and ready school uniform that you arranged the night before. Evening you is very agreeable and willing to do nice things for morning you, but they can only plan ahead so far.
Normally you'd get dressed right now, but perhaps it would be better if we just carried our clothes around with us until we showered?
>>426082
I'd vote to skip school today and do cool stuff, but she really needs the INT points. Get sexy thong underpants and the uniform and take them into the shower and S L O W L Y undress
I cannot stress that last part enough
>>426082
Y-you own a p-pair of thong underwear, yes, but... But you... ahem.
While you certainly wouldn't be embarrassed to wear it or anything, it would be against school rules to do this and... And nobody would even see them anyway under the shorts that school regulations make you wear so there'd... There'd really be no point in wearing these!
Nevertheless, you will carry them with you just in case you change your mind later, or they come in handy somehow.
>>426284
Floss teeth with thong. Gotta keep good oral hygiene.
As you leave your room to head to the bathroom to take your shower, you encounter your half-step-sister-in-law, Mika. Mika's weird. You'd rather not deal with her if you don't have to.
Shit, she's talking to you.
>"What're you doing in your underwear, Heather?"
BLAST!
>>426397
Sure. Whatever. Later.
>>426414
Cast detect trap
>>426414
Cast detect undead
>>426414
Cast aqual spate at stepsister and make her shirt wet
>>426645
>not casting ray of frost on her nips
Shaking my motherfucking head
>>426616
>>426640
We have neither of those two spells, but we do have our PDA so we've added Mika to the people file using current Encyclonet data.
>>426687
Roll a diplomacy check. I want her katana.
>>426687
>32
h-h-hhuh???
>>426687
Finally, characters with reasonable ages.
>>426645
>>426677
Sadly, you have neither of these spells. You could make her shirt wet if you were carrying some liquid, but you aren't carrying any right now. We are on our way to the bathroom though. Hold that thought.
>>426690
This, on the other hand, you can do! You make your best effort at trying to convince her to give you her Ikaruga BlackWhite Blade.
Mika seems to be amused by something.
>>426775
Give her the finger and cry a little
Dexterously
>>426775
make her shirt wet with ur mouth ;)
>>426775
Give her a hug. She'll never see it coming.
>>426775
Play it off like a gag and surprise hug her and kiss her a little bit too
>>426790
You successfully flip Mika off so hard she flips off.
>>427080
I like you're pictures :^)
fantastic thread
proceed to the shower
>>427108
Seconding this.
>>427108
Thirding this, with the addition of caling sorry.
>>427080
Entice sister to shower with you.
>Questfags raiding every board now
You shitniggers belong in bodybags
>>427426
This shit is fun and you can go fuck yourself. It'll be like a mini-quest.
>>427431
Quests are definitely not fun. They are cancer, and now they're spreading their cancer to other boards.
>>427436
I had a lot of fun myself my guy.
I mean
>raiding
seriously?
calm down my bud
i love you OP. keep doing what you're doing
>>427108
>>427156
>>427229
>>427418
You make your way to the bathroom at the end of the hall. You would have asked Mika to join you, but she's a little flipped off at the moment. She's probably just pretending, but you're going to pretend she isn't.
The bathroom door is marked "occupied" at the lock, and there's a sound of running water inside. Sounds like somebody else had the same shower idea that you did. What do you do now?
>>427740
>Sounds like somebody else had the same shower idea that you did. What do you do now?
if experience is any judge, cry in my room
>>427740
Get naked beforehand to save time and wait your turn for the shower. Also take note of one of the easier chores assigned to Mika and consider doing one for her so she might join you in the shower later.
>>427740
apologize to rudeness to sister
>>427740
knock on the door like bloody murder until whoever's in there opens up.
>>427740
Sit on your sister and do a hot fart.
retrieve arms
>>427740
Break in and steal their eggs. Egg hoarding bastards crashing the market.
>>427740
Start underground egg black market with stolen eggs.
>>427942
Then we can never have sister incest, unless she's into that sort of thing. Might want to put this on a to-do list after consummating with sister or stealing her katana.
>>427740
Throw one dollar at your stepsister and say "Keep the change ya filthy animal"
>>427993
we need a game plan here. we clean the temple for her and then wash and eat the egg to recover health points. we do an extra stinky fart from the egg on her, but she can't be mad because we cleaned the temple with her. we offer to share our now empty shower with her, even though we were first, because we did fart on her. we tell mika she has to wash us because we have no arms.
>>427995
are we home alone?
wash the egg
>>427928
I like this idea. Walking around naked feels great.
>get naked
>apologize to sis
>sniff Mika's hair/fart on her
>knock loudly on bathroom door
Fuck off questcuck. Quests go on /tg/
>>428009
seems a little rude
>>427431
>I AM FROM /TG/ AND ALL QUESTS MUST BE MY WAY AND ALSO THAT WAY IS SHIT
Fuck off. Story driven, not shit quests are fine, be it text or art. The problem with /tg/ quests is that they have trash writing, no art to redeem said writing, and systems out the wazoo.
Go back into our room and get that fucking book, and put on my school attire.
>>428038
+2 embarrassment
>>427928
>Also take note of one of the easier chores assigned to Mika and consider doing one for her
Let's see... Mika's three chores are...
- Scrub the Temple Exterior
- Ferry Souls
- Organize Humans
... okay. So the Temple... You're not sure what the EXTERIOR'S size is, but you know that the interior of the temple is a dome with an area of exactly 1 million cubic meters, assuming the monks built it correctly to the standards imposed on them by the old gods. Which they probably did because the gods were there to check their work. Okay. So... 1 million cubic meters... hemisphere... That would be about a radius of 78.159-ish... so the surface area of the inside of the temple would be around 38...38...3...point... 2... Pretty sure. Yeah, 38383.2 so... That would be about... Yeah so you can clean at a rate of maybe 6 meters every zun so... That would take about like... 6397 and change zun to do... which means it would take 64 days...
You could probably ferry the souls if somebody told you how. Maybe Cynthia knows?
You're not really sure what "Organize Humans" means but that shouldn't be hard. Can't be any worse than doing laundry.
>>427939
We begin knocking. The water is still going, for now, but we'll keep knocking until there's any change in the situation, or until our arm gets tired.
>>427931
>>427942
You would but you looked over at here and saw that she was fine and then she went back to pretending to be hurt.
>>428055
i think flipping off our sister hurt us some
>>428050
Y-you would do the second one? Really?
>>428035
Doesn't matter. Moot said Quests go on /tg/. Go take it up with him.
You're blatantly breaking the rules and shitting up the board, just like all questfags.
>>428166
Doesn't matter until a mod decides to enforce this since I doubt Hiro even has an opinion on anything. This board is basically blue /b/ with the mods doing whatever they feel like.
>>428188
Hello /s4s/. You and memelord Swaglord are cancerous faggots and deserve to be hung by the neck until dead
>>428197
You mean hanged, I'm already hung.
The door to the bathroom finally opens, and look who it is. Look who it ALWAYS is. It's Shiné. Wasting your time. Stealing your eggs. It never ends with her!
>"Oh, Heather! I'm sorry. You usually shower before bed so... I'll get out of your way. It's all yours."
>>428197
[s4s] is a red /b/ senpai
>>428534
Quick shower, then downstairs for food. We're starving it looks like.
>>428534
Quick, pull off her towel. It looks like she's hiding eggs in there.
>>428534
spill your spaghetti.
>tfw all dis hot girls
>still no gf
Apologize to Shine for being rude and compliment her on being pretty. Segue into a brief and incoherent fulmination regarding dirty eggs. Ask to borrow Shine's towel because you forgot yours.
invite everyone to shower
Wear thong around the head like a pirate eyepatch
Also check spellbook
>>428659
>>428743
>>428814
>>428814
You apologize to Shiné and politely ask her for her towel, eggs, to shower with her and the like. Shiné freaks the hell out and screams at you like some kind of shrieking harpy and then leaves.
You take a shower.
All showered, you get dressed with all of your equipped items.
You decide to try wearing the thong under your spats. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like anybody's going to see it on a blue board.
>>429124
that's a big shower
>>429124
Search the room for eggs.
aw, boring
Take another shower for XXXtra cleanliness
>>429124
run to your sister and slap her in the face until she takes off your spats and thong with her teeth
>>429124
Use high dexterity stat to dexterously go without spats or underpants under the skirt.
>>429124
Open drawer in search for the eggs
>>429124
You didn't floss your teeth. Now you need a new thong. You've soiled it.
>>429179
I would argue that the thong has now been improved and is perfect for flossing.
hello questcucks
you can fuck off back to spooky now
>>429124
get on internet.
see what's up on 4chan.
>questfags raiding other boards now
>>426687
>gender and sex are two seperate things
Fuck off
>>429179
You could still use the sides. Also LATER, you have to find some eggs right now.
>>429162
>>429130
You search the bathroom high and low but you don't find ANY eggs! This is ridiculous! You do find a bunch of other useless garbage though.
- Shiné's makeup set.
- Shædo's makeup set, which is completely untouched.
- Cynthia's makeup set.
- Mika's, yours, Shædo's, Cynthia's, and Shiné's toothbrush.
- Toothpaste
- Towels
- Fronzit Charms
- Flata Powder
- Toilet Paper
- Plunger
- Toilet Brush
- Soap
- Shampoo
- Dental Floss
- Cotton Swabs
- Eight different hairbrushes, all with Shiné's hair stuck in them.
- Scissors
- Tweezers
Time to acquire egg, (wash egg?) and eat egg.
>>429372
Find Shiné and interrogate her as to the whereabouts of the eggs. Also ask her if washing the egg is entirely necessary. I trust her opinion.
>>429372
Take scissors and bring them to Shiné so you can scissor with her
>>429388
You collect the scissors. They're a beautiful pair of U shaped scissors for careful, controlled, intricate cuts.
>>429376
You head out to the hallway. You were just about to knock, but you decide to try the door handle first.
It's locked. You listen carefully and it doesn't sound like Shiné is in there.
>>429397
Hurry up and eat. You're Hangry. Then you can floss your teeth with the thong.
>>429397
Go in the Cat door.
>>429397
Call Shiné with what appears to be a phone in your inventary. Angrily demand to know the location of eggs, and wether they need to be washed.
Cast invisibility but it's the kind where your clothes don't go invisible so you have to be naked for it to work
>>429402
The Cat door is the door to Shædo's room. There's no lock or handle on the door and you just push it open. Her room's pretty big and white. Shædo's asleep under her blanket table thingie, whatever it's called.
>>429399
You added flossing teeth to your quest log. You'll do it later. You also dismissed the shower quest, as you've completed it.
>>429365
I actually felt very proud when I saw that.
>>429410
pet shaedo. this is more important than food
discover your sexuality
It's been two days. We're long since late for school. At this point, it's become a full-on truancy episode. It's time to eat breakfast. Sexy, naked breakfast.
>>429414
>>>/youknowwheretogo/
Why can't this board have spoilers? Mika is my waifu.
>>429419
You pet Shædo. You feel at peace. You've been pretty stressed out and angry but petting Shædo puts your mind at ease.
You take the time to update the characters file on your PDA.
>>429726
>>429728
Oh, this is the sequel to FFIX. That explains a lot.
>>429728
Is the age expressed in months past the 18th year of life?
Also storm out of the room while screaming "GIMME EGGS GIMME FIRE GIMME THAT WICH I DESIRE"
Time to go to kitchen.
>>429422
>>429853
>>429871
All right! Let's blow this pop-sickle stand.
You head out to the hall and head down toward the kitchen, yelling your battle cry!
Crap. It's Mika. Time for round two.
>"Eggs?"
>>429890
Compliment her beautiful hair and pretty face and apologize for being rude earlier. Explain that you're literally dying of hunger (we think, could be some woe onset by celibacy) and can she please help find some eggs, it's very important. Tear up a little to really sell it and hug her and kiss her a little too
>>429890
You bet she's hiding some eggs in her bangs. You carefully inspect her bangs, using your dog-tier sense of smell to identify any trace of eggs
>>429890
Ask to smell her feet.
>>429890
Give her the double deuce.
>>429933
>33
more like the double trey
>>429933
Also have her check my digits
Mika is my wife btw.
>>429890
tickle Mika until she makes you eggs
>>429915
Yes this.
Kiss her long and hard. Make her yours.
A-and maybe hold her hand?!?
>>429890
Grab all that floating punctuation. I think they're actually colored eggs.
>>429937
>>429662
>>429937
>>429662
There's a ton of Mika art out there.
>>430320
I can't tell what exactly is going on here but I like it
>>429915
>>429918
>>430100
>>430116
You interrogate Mika for information about the whereabouts of the eggs using NATO endorsed tactics. Everything seems to be going according to plan when suddenly Mika shoves you off of her, stands up, stares at you for a moment, then starts walking to the kitchen, calling out to Shiné.
>"Hey, Shiné! Remember that time Heather thought pokémon were real? I think she's doing it again but with eggs or something..."
This mission may have been compromised. What do you do?
>>430400
pokemon are real they just live on islands far away.
>>430400
How Can Eggs Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real
>>430400
mika's a bitch.
follow Mika into the kitchen. repeat tactics on Shiné.
>>430400
You can't take it anymore, you're starving. Beg your two housemates in a passive-aggressive way for those eggs.
>>430400
Tell Mika that bullying is not okay! Tell Shiné that A) Pokemon are real and so is anime B) breakfast is THE most important meal of the day
also repeat kissing tactics but use a deep tongue-kiss to really get the point across
>>430320
Wait wait wait.
Are these characters from a game or comic?
>tfw newfag
>>430757
I did some digging (read: googled remeranAuthor and neWrem) and it turns out OP did a series of threads on /vp/ six years ago, http://old.newrem.com/adventures/ and that they have a webcomic that hasn't updated in a year and a half that feels really experimental. http://www.newrem.com/flavor-text/comics/26/practice
>>430837
Whoever they is they sure know how to make a sexy wifes
>>430837
>2010 was 6 years ago
I'm getting old
>>430837
It explains why I'm pretty sure I've seen a number of reaction images of Shiné over the years. Nice to see these characters again, and on /qa/ of all places.
>>430430
>>430668
This morning has gone on long enough! You're a growing girl and if you don't eat something soon, you're going to starve to death.
You finally reach the kitchen, there you find Shiné and Mika talking. Shiné is very concerned and worried whereas Mika seems quite amused. Shiné is dressed like she's going to be heading in to work soon.
-----
>>430837 >>430839 >>430896 >>430320 >>430319
Dun dox me.
>>430920
Spray their shirts with one of the many water hoses.
>>430920
Mika doesn't look very amused in that picture. She looks like she's losing it. It's a good time to take advantage of that and behave normally, whatever that entails.
>>430920
Politely ask the two of them the location of the eggs, while nonchalantely wielding that big fork behind you like a dagger towards them
>>430920
Oven mitt on head like a rooster's comb. Crow like rooster while miming your desire for egg breakfast.
hold mika's hand.
hold mika's butt
>>430728
>>430928
>>430933
You spray them both with water! Mika is unaffected by elemental attacks, but that doesn't surprise you. Shiné on the other hand is completely soaked!
You explain that you've been very reasonable and polite with them both so far, but this farce has gone on long enough. You want your eggs and you want them now.
>>430942
Does Heather know that eggs come out of a bird's butt? Her intellect is pretty low, and maybe taking her to farm to look at bird butts would be a good educational experience.
>>430942
Shiné casts a stupid healing spell like a big stupid fat idiot.
Mika takes a bow and extends a hand with the flair of a jester.
>"I see you've seen through my plot. Yes, all along I have been misleading you. Your eggs are safe, but not for long. I've hidden three explosive charges around the temple, each with an egg inside of the time controller. If you are able to reach the bombs disable the egg timers, you'll have your eggs. If you can't, well, let's just say we're all going to be scrambled."
You realize Mika doesn't know anything about the eggs.
>>430959
mika's so perfect
>>430959
Open the refrigerator and look for the eggs in there.
Also compliment Mika for her progress in the "acting attitude" attribute.
I want to solve the mystery of why Heather is the only one with eyes like that.
>>430959
I want to solve the mystery of if Mika's hair is made out of strawberry Twizzlers
>>430837
>http://www.newrem.com/flavor-text/comics/26/practice
I'm digging this. Thanks senpai
>>431069
somehow not awful
The tie-ins are runnign deep here
>>430974
You compliment Mika on her acting and then check the fridge.
Let's see:
- Raw Nymbda with fur still on
- Raw Plucked Tabra
- Flata Root
- Kelschii Ferns
- Human Milk
- Bova Milk
- Toru
- TABRA EGGS!
There they ar--Suddenly, Mika steps into your field of vision!
>"It's no longer the case that I was joking! You have 5 Zun to find them."
You slap Mika a couple times and tell her to knock it off. Shiné verbally scolds Mika as well. Mika apologizes and says she unplanted the bombs.
While slapping Mika around, you feel her hair a little. It's just regular hair, albeit strangely colored.
>>431251
Did we feel anything else on Mika?
>>431251
>vertical eyes
>horizontal vision
It seems some mysteries are simply beyond human comprehension.
Now, at long last, the eggs. ...I never expected we'd make it this far so I'm at a loss.
>>431307
i think we're meant to wash it, but that also increases the risk of salmonella =/ i think we are doing very well. we were an aeroplane for a while
>>431251
Take the pair of house slippers from inside the fridge, wear them, and explain to your friends how you have "'cold feet'" about washing the egg because it may spread diseases.
Ask Shiné for advice on washing eggs. Wash if yes; no, proceed to cooking them. Do you have experience making eggs?
>>431571
Regardless, just have Shiné cook the eggs. She doesn't look busy.
>>431251
You get a wonderful idea. Boil the eggs!
This way you are both washing AND cooking them at the same time.
>>431666
I'm voting you for president.
>>431254
Not anything out of the ordinary.
>>431321
Those aren't house slippers. Those are Nymbdas. Nymbdas kinda look like bunnies. Freezing them breaks down the laughter toxins in their meat, making them edible. Nymbda meat is expensive and valuable since in low doses the laughter toxin is euphoric and freezing it for exactly 550 Zun is the perfect dose for most humans and humes.
>>431317
>>431571
>>431577
>>431666
Now we're GETTING somewhere! Shiné is practically useless for doing anything substantial, but preparing food falls under "support" duties, and Shiné excels at supporting! You give her clearcut instructions on how to prepare the eggs and sure enough you have your breakfast!
>>432215
You've acquired the [Egg Breakfast]!
>>432308
go find Alex and ask him to teach us how to play guitar.
>>432308
Stick the scissors in our slick pompadour.
>>432308
Strip off thong and floss teeth and offer the thong to Mika for same.
>>432312
See, this is exactly why I didn't want people doxxing me. We haven't introduced Alex yet.
>>432538
You eat the eggs!
>>432587
Have we yet taken a shower?
>>432596
We took one yesterday jesus
>>432587
doxing*
go to the white mage girl and ask her for a healing spell because whacking my tongue with that food so hard and fast must have given my a tongue ache.
>>432621
Both spellings are accepted. It would be more polite to apologize instead of being a spelling nazi over a made up word.
>>432623
doxxing is not accepted.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Doxxing
>>432629
Thank you for the worthless Memecyclopedia link.
>>432629
>>432623
>>432621
I googled "Doxing" and got alternating results. I personally am going to keep saying doxing with one X, but I'm not going to try to correct anybody again.
>>432587
Ask Shiney how to spell doxing
>>432640
no, ask Mika. she seems more likely to be informed on it.
>>432587
Put a bowl on your head (wide side down) and ride Shiny's shoulders like she's a horse.
>>432587
orgy
>>432640
Shine has shown herself to be inept at spelling, grammar, and syntax.
>>432654
Damn Shiny is looking sexy there
Petition to rename "Shiny" to "Sexy", please sign below
>>432654
I don't like this guy's OCs. Where's that guy from /co/ with the Rayman bitch?
Somehow I don't think Shiné is pronounced Shiny???
>>432663
But it's the e from pokemon
>>432665
Also trips
>>432665
...Let's make sure we're on the same page. Tell me how you think Pokemon is pronounced.
>>432667
I've anyways said "pokemon," but I've also heard "pokemon."
>>432669
You son of a bitch.
Dear Shiny:
please step on my balls
Deepest Regards
>>432621
>>432640
>>432650
>>432653
Before you can give Shiné new orders, she tells you she needs to go to work and she disappears.
>>432452
Later! We still have to... wait... I guess this is the only thing left on our questlog right now.
>>432694
Add "plot revenge against Shiny" and "enact revenge against shiny" to quest long
nobody bails on us
>>432694
Quest to find Shiny and kiss her.
>>432694
We have to find out why she kept pointing to her wrist despite not actually wearing a watch. Is there a magic spell of some sort? This goes deeper than we thought.
best thread on /qa/ in the current moment
>>432694
Quest to discover what ails Shiny's wrist and create a poultice that heals her but also makes her horny and naked.
>>432714
>>432717
>>432901
You put four new items on your Quest Log, remove your thong and place it back into your inventory, and leave the kitchen, back into the hallway, but now you're sort of at a loss for what to do next. Trying to find and acquire eggs was the force that drove your entire being, and now that you've accomplished it, you're not sure what's left to do in life. You'd been content with failure and setbacks your whole life, to never leave your comfort zone. Now that you've experienced victory you're baffled by just how hollow it feels. Is this what accomplishment really is? Is this what being a success is like?
>>433442
In situations like these, I like to masturbate. Perhaps we should try masturbating?
>>433442
An earlier post gave me an idea. We need to style our hair into a pomp. You don't truly know success until you've worn a pompadour.
>>433442
Destroy the picture of that guy with the glasses. He looks like a fucking nerd.
>>433455
I agree. Let's do this.
Not only does he look like a nerd, but when apathetic dread sets in, destroying things helps. Probably.
Add "Cure apathetic dread" to quest log.
Since we're leaving our comfort zone and feeling new feelings, let's try turning tricks purely for the life experience.
>>433442
Admire pretty cash
>>433455
>>433457
You punch that painting using your excellent STR and DEX.
You guess you feel better maybe.
>>434062
Show results of punching the painting. How damaged is it? Was it a favorite of any of your room mates? You feel slightly ashamed, but the unfettered joy of destruction and mayhem overpowers this. You have gained new vigor. Remove 'cure apathetic dread' from quest log. Move to complete objective 'floss teeth.' You've just eaten, you should go clean those pearly whites off.
>>433753
You pull up a screen on your PDA showing off your personal finances. You always put 25% of your funds at the end of every season into your savings account and keep the rest in a Petty Cash repository which you leave available to yourself if you ever want to spend it on something. It's all psychological effects because you can just remove it from savings at any time, but it's important to be responsible.
Cancel all active quests and go to school... today will be the day we lose our virginity, and it's time to get this show on the road.
>>434145
I don't want to support this decision but it made me laugh so i have to.
Second for canceling active quests and going to school to lose virginity. Also, add "lose virginity" to quest log
>>434148
Is Heather even a virgin? She's 32.
>>434156
Given the age distribution, it looks like they age at at a much slower rate than we do. Assuming a similar culture related to sex, and Heather's reluctance to wear the thong, I think she's likely a virgin.
Use PDA to determine virginity status of each character met so far.
>>434156
Yes you are.
>>434161
You check everybody's virginity using Encyclonet. There was an age check because people under the age of 60 aren't supposed to ask those sorts of questions, but you just route through Shædo's proxy she set for you.
When you checked Shædo's virginity, there was a little note next to it. These notes are usually included next to information that is considered sensitive information to those people to help prevent you from sticking your foot in your mouth, or to assist you in being a troll if you are so inclined. Luckily, most people are nice.
>>434194
>Don't bring this up around her
Aw man, this is getting dark.
>>434224
>getting dark
Well, that's why they call her "Shadow"! x^D
>>434194
it is spooky that there's an organization which has collected such detailed information about everyone.
Research the people running Encyclonet to see how they acquire such information. We have to find out if they're violating muh privacy.
>>434194
Mock Shaedo for being a dirty hoe
Can perhaps we change gender to lesbian.
>>434335
Also get a translation of whatever is on Mika's shirt.
>>434194
Ask Mika for her shirt so we can more closely examine it.
>>434228
Encyclonet is a community curated, government moderated, worldwide repository of information. All registered Monster Slayers are catalogued and their equipment is continuously updated, along with their stats and if they're in combat, with whom. Encyclonet also has some information on civilians, but not nearly as much. Your own personal statistics are available to you but largely hidden from everybody else. A given civilian is mostly protected by there just being too many civilians to bother with. People like Mika, Shiné, and Shædo, are public figures, so more people care about what they're up to.
Encyclonet doesn't have centralized servers, but rather stores it in "the honeycomb", using a redundancy mesh, able to be fully restored from any ten thousand PDAs. PDAs are self organizing, intercommunicating, mana powered, Parutaiga Dord Azstmrit devices, with the popular "Personal Digital Assistant" backronym for people who have difficulty pronouncing the Kapra "zstmr" consonant cluster.
When you turn 60 you're going to need to decide whether or not you want to register or undergo MEDS. You're leaning toward MEDS because Monster Slayers don't exactly have the highest life expectancy, monsters are really gross sometimes, and you want to be an architect when you grow up.
>>434335
"Gender" is more like a series of keywords that conflates the Western idea of gender binaries with sexual orientations. There are a TON of genders, as they build off of each other, but a quick explanation of the ones we've seen so far.
Girl - Female, feminine, and underage.
Woman - Female, Feminine, Heterosexual, Traditional
Lass - Female, Single/Unmarried, Asexual or bisexual and not interested, Neutral
Others include things like "Lipstick Lesbian" or "Butch" or "Tomboy" and all mean what you'd assume they mean. There are some weird ones like "Forji" which some Demons (and eccentric humans) identify as.
>>434348
Mika's shirt just says "Ki Ku Ri" in Stoic Kapra.
>>434376
damn, that was really elaborate.
find the hacker known as 4chan and see if our petty cash is enough to pay him to develop a remote PDA exploit that will allow arbitrary code execution, then use that to run code that will overwrite all storage data on the PDA with random data 30 times after sending a copy of itself to every other PDA listed in that PDA's network. Then have the code install a kernel-level rootkit on every 1 in 100 PDAs that will wait to see if the PDA receives an update containing old data, and will then prevent the PDA from forwarding that data, and infect the PDA that sent the data
We're bringing this mesh down, baby. After all, now everyone will know we're wearing a thong! What if Shiny found out? ;_; that would be too embarrassing. better to destroy the whole thing.
also, look up more demon genders.
>>434376
I'm interested in the geography of our home which apparently has a massive temple nearby. Load up Mapquest and get our bearings.
>>434388
We're not wearing the thong anymore, we removed it to use as dental floss but have yet to do so. I'm fully in favor of flossing our teeth with the thong in question.
Also, remove shorts and wear thong because you want to be a bad girl today.
>>434431
>We're not wearing the thong anymore, we removed it to use as dental floss but have yet to do so
true, but it was still in our inventory. shiny or anyone else could have found out at any time.
plus i want to wear it again later
>>434376
can any of our housemates grow a magic futa benis
>>434462
Mika can.
>>434463
I've never been more aroused.
Take off hairpin and enlarge it into an actual sword. That sounds crazy enough that it's probably possible.
No real reason for doing this other than that you look cooler carrying a sword around in one hand.
>>434463
mika is my waifu desu
>>434570
The waifu discussion for this series is getting so big that I'm thinking of creating a thread for it. We must have intense waifu wars. So that I can tell everyone that Shiné is best girl.
>>434575
shiny is a woman, not a girl. learn your waifu, nerd.
mika is best girl
link thread here if you make it pls
>>434578
Sorry for the confusion. I meant girl, not girl. Different words with different implications.
I'll keep you posted.
Hopflash genders to 'woman' before we lose our virginity so it's absolutely legal.
it's possible to ascend gendre to "streetwalking tramp"
>>434388
You spend some time searching for words like “4chan”, "kernel-level" and "hack the planet" and find that these are all just pop culture references to various fictional stories like Andy Cush, Cory Doctorow, and Rafael Moreu.
>>434565
It's not a tiny sword but rather, a tiny dagger. A tiny bloody dagger. It's your city charm, and it's meant to symbolize the sacrifice of Moncrefe when he--wait. School. >>434145 >>434148 >>429436 >>428037 >>426284
No, wait. >>426098
YEAH! You DO vote to skip school today! Hahaha! That settles that! The first 30 years of school are for kids who don't know what vocation they want to take, anyway. You're going to be an architect so you'll start really working hard at school when you get into REAL school that actually matters for life beyond it.
Wait hold on... Is today one of the days we play tennis? You check the school schedule.
... It is. You're late for school! You need to get to school and FAST!
>>434834
Wear thong as eye patch
>>434834
check EncycloNet Maps for the quickest path to school, then take it.
>>434893
Rather than do that, you pull up Cartographer® to display your Minimap℠ and Waypoint™ route path. Proprietary programs work way better than user curated things like Encyclonet. You only use Encyclonet when there's no better alternative.
Your map shows that, predictably, the fastest route to school involves exiting through the temple. Considering that's the only way outside, that makes sense. You should probably get your Tennis Racket from your room first though.
And your backpack you GUESS.
>>434932
Add "Forego Use of Proprietary Software" to quest log. We're going to make Richard Stallman proud.
Go to room and grab the tennis racket and backpack, then pack a lunch for school and head to school.
>>434932
Shove our face into the tennis racket so that the skin kinda squidges out and feels funny for a minute, then do the same for our chest.
