Pol I think I'm fucked
I was just outside watering my garden ( with a hose ) and then some niggress with her toddler niglet comes running up to me screaming at me and demanding to use my phone because she said she had an "EHMERGUNCEY" and that her mom was "BLEEDIN ALL OVAH DA PLEHS" and I told her to fuck off and that she wasn't using my phone
She continued to get belligerent with me and I kind of just sperged out ( typical for me ) and aimed the hose right at her face.
She got a huge ass blast of water and I could see her huge ass lips flapping while she was being slapped around by the water pressure
Within 5 seconds she fell back on her ass and fractured her hipbone and now she's filing a police report
What do?
Btw I don't know if she actually fractured her hipbone but that's what she said
>>80642135
wew
Kill her
>>80642135
Was she on your property? Isn't that trespassing
>>80642367
Good idea
No seriously though WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO
>>80642411
I don't own the property I only rent it
>>80642135
Why don't you just call 911 for her? That way you can get her off your property quicker and she can't jack your phone.
>>80642476
what you do here is going to the police and telling what happened, you have to file a report of your own
so maybe try doing that? your local police dpt should have a phone number
>>80642476
Tell the judge she looked a little crispy so you gave her a nice refreshing spritz
>>80642476
it's your property in this case
>>80642135
be careful becaue the police might read these, but just know if someone goes on yourt property u have the right to defend yourself especially when they touch you, especially if they try to grab your phone on your property.
>>80642135
When the cops show (they won't she has a criminal record) say hen she asked for your phone and you said no, she tried to make an aggressive move towards you, and you instictively threw your hands up to guard your face, which is how she got splashed. If they ask about her falling down say you don't know, maybe she slipped or something. They'll look at your arrest records and then haul her off and never come back.
>>80642438
Accuse her of rayciss epithets against you.
Be very shaken up, stating you no longer feel safe in your own yard after the death threats.
>>80642135
you know the only logical thing to do.
suicide by cop
>>80642700
this is a good idea, actually
tell them she called you a white devil
>>80642135
Deny deny deny
>>80642657
If the police are on pol it's safe to say OP won't be going to jail
Apologise for slavery
>>80642135
u good m8 just tell them what you told us
you were minding your own business, said no, and she got offensive
What's the problem? Do you think this lady has the means to take you to court? What are you asking?
>>80642438
Who tf falls back from getting splashed by water?
But in all likely hood she planned it from the beginning. Nigger lottery
Nice pasta faggot op
>>80642135
>be american
>get hosed
Just tell the cops they came on your property demanding that they use your property and you refused. They refused to leave your property and you hit them with the hose. I doubt you'll get charged with shit on that story.
>>80642207
She also said her mother was bleeding, and now there she is, talking to police about some water instead of taking care of her dying mother.
>>80642135
She ran screaming at you and then slipped on the wet grass.
Everything else didnt happen and its a scam to sue you for moonies.
>>80642692
This. It'll work.
>>80643311
/thread
>>80642135
your kind of a dick.. if this is true
>>80643311
this
>>80643594
get out
>>80642135
I laughed very hard at your story. Thank you and keep up the good work
>>80642135
Hope to fuck your homeowners insurance is paid up -- you are about to gain two dependents if not.
OP here thanks for the advice guys I'll give a more formal update before long
>>80643594
You've obviously never had one of these people attempt to hustle you before.
It usually happens in parking lots outside of movie theaters, but it also happens in neighborhoods.
Had a woman (meth head white girl) knock on my door at dusk on a Friday evening before I went out to meet some friends. She was asking to use my phone because she needed a ride from a friend. She looked nervous and kept glancing to her right. Very obviously someone else was standing there just out of sight. I asked her what the number was so I could dial it using my phone. She said thats okay and left. The guy standing just out of view left about a minute later. I called the cops and gave them the description. They got picked up 2 streets down trying to do the exact same thing. Apparently they had a record of doing this before in another neighborhood. They would either steal the phone or if the person answering the door seemed easy, the would over power the individual and rob them and their house.
When someone who you don't know comes up to your property like that, it's usually bad news.
Are you a muhreen?
I am surprised you didnt MCMAP her ass.
faggot.
>>80642135
I feel like this is a magikarp joke, with all the Pokémon talk these days
Anyway, your splash was effective.
>>80643594
try living in the real world cuck, this planet isnt one big hugbox people will fuck you over
>>80642135
Theres no way any of her bones could break on a fall...the fat surrounding it provides too much cushion
is this a place to post nigger stories?
>picking up friends at bar
>parked my car a block down and walked to greet them
>See that their girlfriends are white girl wasted again, smoking cigarettes outside the bar.
>Minivan pulls up right next to us
>Two darkies, sitting up front
>start yelling really loudly
>so fucking loud
>"c'mon NIGGA, lets go nigga
>we stand silently as this big black son of a bitch comes striding out drinking a beer
>smirks rise throughout the region as working class 20 somethings come to look at the zoo
>the words are at the precipice, but do not escape lips
>real life, genuine niggers
>he tosses his beer bottle at the ground and it skips to drunk white girl
>drunk white girl loses her mind, dropping N bombs with the hard R out in public
>it was beautiful, blonde hair and limbs flying as her boyfriend held her back
>we told him to gtfo.
>but no, he had to prove his manliness and get back out of the van
>watchu say bitch?
>at this point, the girl had completely lost it, turned on her boyfriend, started hitting him and us around him
>he says fuck it, and lets her go
>she darts off like a little terrier jumping face first into a big black lab
>I can't say I blame him for what happened, but he should have just got in the van and left.
>he grabs this chick and full force choke slams her into the ground
>That's when the mob that had formed to watch the zoo turned hostile.
>no threats. no pushing. just drunk factory workers laying a beating on niggers like the good 'ol days
>sheriff pulls up and pulls the cut up niggers from the scene, broken glass and crumpled sheet metal is all that left of the minivan exterior
>highschool friend that works the jail tells me the that the black guys went to jail for warrants
>way past due child support and other misdemeanors.
>2 weeks later i pull into our local eatery
>short fat white pregnant girls waddles out of a beat up minivan with plastic where the windows were.
>>80642899
I'm British, I just moved to the states, and that's literally a 10/10
>>80642135
Copypasta
>>80642135
Tell them she assaulted you
How often are nigger encounters in the suburbs? I thhought whites live in white communities with no niggers in sight?
If it was on your property then you could've said she was starting to get violent on my property and I simply sprayed her.
My
Property
>>80642135
Say she tried to steal your phone and you were protecting your property
>>80642808
A lot of melanoids seem to be doing this nowadays...
Hey, if it's trendy, why not?
>>80642411
Doesn't matter. Someone could try to break into your house while you are gone and slip on something and sue you for the danger your home presented.
Our justice system is a joke.
Here's another example.
If you get one if those "beware of dog" signs and put it on your wall and someone climbs into your yard and your dog bites them, they can sue you.
And the sign will actually help THEIR case.
"You knew the dog was dangerous enough that you bought a sign, and you still let it wander your yard unsupervised?"
>>80642135
You don't live in Birmingham do you?
>>80647268
This is why it's always better to kill transpassers in states with castle doctrine, ask any lawyer.
Dead man can tell no tales.
Otherwise it's their word against yours.
>>80642476
doesn't matter, if you are the legal tenant mostly all of the same laws (regarding trespassing) are still applicable
just tell them you are from Greenland, and that its a new-age tradition among greenlandians to greet each other with a splash of water.
so she literally disrespected your culture, feel free to file for racism and rape.
>>80642135
I thought your cops come and shot black people for you when you call them
Say you were checking your water privilege.
Why did you post the EGA?
Why is it relevant?
>>80642135
Tell cops she appeared to be mentally imbalanced or on drugs and attempted to assault you and you used less than lethal force to defend yourself.
>>80646549
Niggers are fucking EVERYWHERE
