Chris Christie was sitting in his chair and eating 10 boxes of doughnuts at the same time after it happened. He experienced that election from his neon pink gimp suit and his ass was still sore. "Those Arabs are to blame for this. We need to ban Islam as soon as I can get more laxative and bean tacos delivered to me." He let out a boisterous keg beer fart and breathed it in passionately. This aroused him as his tiny 1cm meat became erect at a full inch (a new record for him), not that Chris noticed. Chris couldn't even see his feet let alone his pathetic excuse for a dong. Chris sat up and cried for having been subjected to the horrors of the final fight. He was horrified that President Booker was fixing the economy and not deporting every Muslim in sight. He sank into his chair and decided it was time. He rang the bell and Barack came in dressed like a French maid. He handed Chris the rope. Chris took the rope and tied it to the fan. Barack started to question the stability of the fan but Chris tied it up anyway. Chris put the rope around his neck and jumped. The fan broke and whilst Chris had failed to hang himself, he accidentally impaled himself in the neck on the fan's blades. Chris looked Barack in the eye and gave him the go ahead and then slumped down. Chris Christie was dead in front of a scantily clad Barack Obama. And Barack went ahead with Chris's last request. Barack took out his whip-like phallus and lashed Chris's back multiple times before going to town on his corpse. Barack pounded and heaved as he gave Chris's corpse every bit of passion left in him. From the heartache and pressure of being President to the lack of pleasure Michelle gave him. Barack brutally finished inside of Chris's debris-covered carcass and kissed him on the cheek. He took the rope took it to the balcony.
>>79902915
Thicc thread?
>>79902986
Requesting r34 of Chris Christie. My whole life has been leading up to this moment.
He then put the noose around his neck and jumped off, breaking his neck and putting the situation in the public eye. When the detectives came in they promptly vomited and assessed the situation.
OP here. There's plenty more shit like this if you want.
>>79902915
GET A WARRANT YOU FAT FUCK
>>79903240
please
>>79903322
Get a warrent, you fat fuck
>>79902915
>" He let out a boisterous keg beer fart and breathed it in passionately
The best kind of farts desu
>>79903564
Ben Carson wept softly to himself as he performed a brain surgery in his spare time. That's when Marco came in. "Hey, why are you crying?" "Because I want to, Rubio. Why are you here?" "You know why, Ben. Let's get to work." Rubio bent Carson down and went to town on him. He gagged Carson and began to spank him with a spiked paddle. Carson moaned as he was seductively waterboarded as he was penetrated deeper and deeper. Eventually he screamed "Maurice!" As he came. He kept Carson chained as he left. He had a campaign to win.
Other thread is dead, here's a good one.
Kim Jong Un looked in the mirror. Tonight was the night, there was no going back. He couldn't live in a world without nukes belonging to North Korea. He wept softly to himself, which then suddenly crescendoed into a dramatically loud cry. He choked up trying to calm down and banged the gong sitting next to him. There in the doorway was Dennis Rodman in a crotchless, assless sailor outfit. He bent Kim over and gently eased his throbbing shaft into Kim's tender, loose anus with Icy Hot as lube. He pounded and heaved as the Great Leader began to twerk on him. "Take it, nigga!", Dennis shouted as Kim sat on him. Kim made a show of his sluttiness, his moans sounding exactly like a Japanese cat getting run over by a car. "Oh hell naw. We gon' be tender and quiet or we ain't doin' shit, nigga. Fo' real, I ain't talking bout no chicken and Kool-Aid, my nigga. Bend yo ass ova." What proceeded was essentially a prison scenario. When Dennis finished inside him, Kim took Dennis's penis and began to wrap it around his neck. Once he tightened the knot, he jumped out of his window, dragging Dennis with him. As they screamed and fell through the air, they glided towards a stature of Kim as Conan the Barbarian. Dennis's head was run through by the statue's sword from the lower jaw, he was killed instantly. Kim took an uzi out of his fat folds and shot himself in the head. North Korea was free, but that was simply too much for them to handle. As a whole nation, they all burned themselves to the ground. The only thing left when the British soldiers arrived was the statue with two bodies gruesomely dangling from its sword.
>>79904463
>>79904101
im saving all of these, jesus fuck
>>79904601
Spread 'em if you can. This shit needs to go viral.
Bumping with Nikita Klaestrup
