>average funeral costs $7,000-$10,000
>Tfw can't even afford to die
>>79684569
If you can't afford it the county will just throw you in the dump.
>>79684569
>you have to pay the amount you would a car to properly bury your loved ones
why is this ok again?
oh yeah, capitalism.
i'm getting frozen by alcor and revived in the year 2400
>>79684682
Best day of my life is when I was thrown in the dump.
What freedom!
>>79684569
Donate your body to science. Free and maybe a girl will actually touch you.
>>79684569
Who cares after you're dead?
>>79684761
Yeah, I like mass graves much better too.
>>79684761
You have to be 18 to post here.
>>79684790
Fucking kek'd
I'm getting cremated, costs almost nothing
>2016
>not becoming a sex toy
Inevitably there came a point at which I had to pause and ask myself: How would you like it? How would you like to be lying there on the autopsy table having the coroner slice you up into a variety of sexual aids? The femur bone makes a fine dildo. Intestines are natural prophylactics. The heart, that organ of romance, can be used as a four-chambered pocket pussy. Whatever remains of your body afterward can be filled with KY instead of embalming fluid — or vice versa, perhaps a horny little necro nymph will come along and leach the embalming fluid from your body to use as a "personal lubricant." Who knows? The possibilities are endless. Do you prefer your corpse to be a waste product or a sex object?
>>79685082
>>79684569
I'm a mortician. Love my boss. He's the owner and director at the funeral home I work at. He does whatever he can to help customers afford things, and encourages us to do the same. When I'm not busy in the back, I'm sometimes required to assist in sales if he or any of our other representatives are indisposed. Last week, I was in our Remembrance Room (a place where the bereaved are allowed to mourn, should they have an outburst - which they do - but also a place to conduct business) with a family who had recently lost their son to a motorcycle accident. His insurance wouldn't cover an awful lot, terrible policy, and the family expressed concern over their ability to make payments. I told them to sit tight, help themselves to the fridge, and I would be right back.
I walked to my boss's office, and explained things to him. He asked for the work order, slashed the prices on the headstone and casket in half, and handed it back to me, and said, "Tell them they're going to be alright." Far and away, the most admirable man I've ever met, and there are many more like him in this business. Try not to worry too much. We see this every day, but we're not unmoved by it.
>>79684761
i agree
communism is just so much more efficient, they just dump dead bodies into mass graves.
>>79684761
> implying preparing and preserving bodies, caskets, headstones and land to bury someone in the ground costs nothing.
You're a bright one, I can tell.
>>79685066
Dubs of cremated truth.
Plus no one will have to stare at your dumbass corpse.
>>79684569
>build your own coffin for $100 or less
>don't be embalmed
>have the funeral in your home
>be buried on your family estate
Oh wait, I forgot the mortuary cartel has taken over and in many states it is a legal requirement to hire a funeral director.
>>79685066
not true cremated one of my parents four years ago and it was 10k
>>79684569
Or you know, you could have some rando host your funeral for less than a tenth of that and bury your ass in the backwoods.
>>79685066
>believing this
Also cremation is against several religions including Christianity.
>>79685082
You have to go back
>>79686807
who cares?
>>79686400
>>79685066
Guess I'm a #corpsetorchmissile
>>79684569
What happens if you just don't pay?
>>79686807
wtf are those christian shitheads fucking retarded its way more hygienical than rotting
>>79686768
Here in Michigan a funeral director, whose services you have purchased, is required to sign your death certificate. It is literally illegal to opt out of the whole thing.
>>79685082
What the fuck did I just read?
>>79684569
Pretty sure the county will cremate and dispose of your remains for free
If you want to have a big ceremony, be buried in a fancy cask and have a fancy marble headstone, and spend money on a lot of other useless things, then yeah, it can get kind of expensive.
>>79686807
>Believing Christ has the power to resurrect all dead believers, even the venerated saints.
>Believing Christ can't overcome cremation.
A FUCKING MUSTARD SEED, SHITHEAD.
>>79686888
Wew those trips i guess we know KEK's opinion on the matter
>>79685704
Is this a new pasta?
>>79686855
The vast majority of Americans, at least. Also people who don't like embalming chemicals causing pollution.
>>79686962
When embalming is not used, decomposition is completely natural and causes no pollution.
The amount of energy used in cremation is much worse for the environment.
>not being pushed out to sea on a flaming canoe Boromir style
>>79686888
Kek approves.
Burning is the ultimate cleansing.
>>79687103
It's not about not believing in the resurrection, it's about respect for the human body.
Is it illegal to have a viking burial?
>>79687222
>pretending to care about the environment and such a negligible, irrelevant pollution source
>having to hide behind flimsy excuses to back your retarded morality
christcucks everyone
>>79684569
cardboard box cremation. The cheap way to go. Or just get your family to dump you in the woods.
>>79686731
where the fuck do you live? did you ask for a pure gold urn?
>>79684908
>>79685818
>>79686187
And the winner for easiest to bait board goes to... /pol/! Congratulations!
>>79687667
>I was just pretending to be retarded, you guys.
>>79684569
It costs more than that where I live.
I love selling life insurance.
>>79687667
bragging about baiting /pol/ is like thinking you're smart for winning an argument in a youtube video's comment section
>>79685066
>>79686400
>>79687039
>>79687493
>Wanting a Jew tier corpse disposal
dont have a funeral just get cremated and be done with it costs like 200 dollars
>>79687841
Peed a bit.
>>79684569
why would i have someone pay to bury me when they can just throw me into the dumpster?
>>79686187
Preparing the dead was done by the family. The funeral services would held in the parlor. A man you knew constructed the coffin. Neighbors dug the grave. Local pastor conducted the services. It costed almost nothing to put a corpse in the ground, until the American Civil War when northerners wanted their sons to be buried in their home towns. Undertakers started embalming and dressing dead soldiers so they could be loaded onto trains and shipped home. Before this the undertaker was a bit of a charlatan who pulled teeth and sold furnace fuel on the street corners.
There is no reason to embalm a corpse, display them a week after they died, and seal them in a box that costs more than a used car. They're dead. Cremation and natural burial are the way to go.
We really are in a decadent age.
>>79684790
A good 'ol chuckle
>>79688506
Do you want to live forever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMaK8tBe9SE
>>79687619
I live in SC. no I did not ask for a gold urn
he die kind of unexpectedly and It took me a month to notify everybody and get them to come to the funeral. it was a pure shitshow
>>79684569
>be me
>be on SSI
>Realize it will take me over a year of just saving to afford my funeral.
>Being crippled sucks sempai
>>79687257
I feel like someone just finds a burnt bloated corpse a day later. Just dig me a hole and plant a tree over top. Or put some weights on me and push me far into the ocean on a leaking canoe.
>>79687319
Why respect it? A corpse won't respect you back.
>>79687763
>>79687792
You guys don't seem to understand, I said a bad thing about capitalism on /pol/. That might as well be punishable by death here and the four angry responses that followed kinda prove that. Rather than providing substantive reasoning why I'm wrong all of you proceed by assuming I'm an 18 year old commie from tumblr or something. Its pathetically but humorously predictable.
Look bud. I cremated my mum for a thousand dollars (she paid for it with the money she left me) and scattered her over a lake (in accordance with her wish).
It's not that hard to live OR to die. You're just millennial.
>>79684569
of course if isn't cheap
becoming a skeleton warrior someday is no paltry gift
>>79684761
>t. Pol Pot
What actually happens if nobody wants to pay for you?
>>79691318
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potter%27s_field
>>79691318
the state puts you in storage and takes all your stuff you left behind.
When my time is up, I intend on going out into the Himalayan wilderness and let carrion birds devour my corpse. In life the earth lends me her resources, and in death I return them
I think they are just gonna roll me off the back porch, when I die.
>>79684569
You've been below average your entire life; why would you stop at funeral costs?
>>79692576
Zoroaster has access to 4chan?
>>79692810
I look forward to my eternal slumber getting knawed on by dogs,cats,squirells,birds. lol
Don't you have to pay a death tax or something in cuck countries like the UK?
>>79684790
>>79684790
>tfw this will be the closest I could ever be to a nude female
>>79687319
Traditional burials are about respect for the Jews wallet.
>there are people on /pol/ who could not come up with 7 large in a true emergency
Top kek lads. Keep voting republican those tax cuts will eventually trickle down to you.
>>79684682
Sup Frank Reynolds
Actually, Frank has the right idea. All I ask for before I get thrown in the trash is a wake at a local bar, like in The Wire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVznnoptsmM
>>79693972
why would i want to waste $7k when i can spend $200?
Wtf...
I'm donating my body to science.
Don't wanna come back as a zombie.
>>79689174
>in reality i tricked you all because im so clever :^) silly boys
>>79689174
